Author's Notes: Wow… Just wow. I have to say, the amount of feedback from both the poll AND the chapter was staggering, to say the least. 52 reviews and 185 followers strong, and it's only the FIRST chapter! Damn! It makes me so happy to see such a strong support for a desperately needed reboot, especially for one of my favorite stories. But again, thank you ll SOOOO much for all the feedback, and hope for the same in all the chapters to come. I will try to post updates regularly, but I also have my other stories to attend with…. BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP LIKE I DID THREE YEARS AGO! I MADE THAT DECISION WHEN I MADE MY ANNOUNCEMENT TO RETURN TO FANFICTION! SO DON'T FRET!

Now, lets keep this crazy train a'rolling!

Chapter 2: First Impressions

It was an hour after the 'incident' in the village and now Deadpool found himself in the office of the Hokage, with a Anbu guard on either side of him whilst the old man continued to rummage through a stack of papers with a tired, solemn look on his face.

And finally, in a chair next to the old man slept Naruto, using Sarutobi's cloak as a make-shift blanket.

Wade looked back at the Anbu standing behind him. They both stood there straight as a post, hands behind their backs and staring forward, barely moving so much as a muscle. He turned back to Sarutobi, who was still looking through stacks upon stacks of loose papers, his pipe dangling lazily from the edge of his lips.

Seeing as how the old man was clearly in deep thought about something, Deadpool decided to take a quick look around the office. 'So, this is what it feels like to be in an anime, huh? Only been here for an hour and I've already gotten into a sword fight and killed a man.' A smirk slowly formed as he arched an eyebrow approvingly. 'I think I'm going to like it here,' Deadpool thought happily.

'Hey Wade, look up there.'

'Huh?'

'On the wall, over the old man.'

Doing as he was told, Wade looked up onto the wall behind Sarutobi, who was still looking over the paperwork before him. Over top the window, there were four picture frames displaying photos of four different men. 'Hmmmmm,' Deadpool thought, leaning forward ever so slightly, inspecting the photographs.

The first one was of a tan skinned man with long black hair and dark eyes. He had on deep crimson red armor with a black shirt underneath. Underneath the frame was a name. Hashirama Senju, First Hokage.

Next to him was a picture of another man. The man had pale skin, spiky white hair and deep red eyes. There was a light red mark underneath each eye, with another going up his chin to below his bottom lip. He wore blue armor, with puffy white fur on each shoulder. The name underneath read Tobirama Senju, Second Hokage.

'Brothers, it seems.'

'But they look nothing alike. Weird.'

Ignoring the voices, Deadpool turned to the third picture. This one was of a young man, with spiky brown hair that was brushed back. He had light brown eyes and a little black mark spiking off from the edge of each eye, along with a small, bushy brown goatee. The name underneath the photo was Hiruzen Sarutobi, Third Hokage.

'Damn, he looked pretty sharp in his prime… No homo,' Deadpool added, ignoring the snickering from one of his voices. 'But seriously, I guess this guy was the better of the three, seeing as how he's still kicking it as big cheese at THIS age. Must be a tough cookie if the old geezer hasn't been put out to pasture.'

'Don't even think about it, Wade.'

'BITCH, WE DO WHAT WE WANT!'

'Amen,' Deadpool agreed. However, when Wade turned to the fourth photo, he raised an eyebrow. The man in the fourth frame had wild and spiky blond hair, going halfway down his neck. He had light skin and piercing ocean blue eyes. He wore a white trench-coat with the collar popped up and had on a blue headband with the symbol of Konohagakure engraved on it. The name underneath?

Minato Namikaze, Fourth Hokage.

'… Oh gee. Is it just me, or have I seen that face before…. Recently…. When some guy was trying to kill him?' Deadpool thought sarcastically.

'Oh! I know this one! I know this one!'

'Of course you do, imbecile. So does he. It was a rhetorical question. Obviously the boy we save is that man's son or what have you.'

'HEY! NO HINTS!'

'…. Dumb-ass….'

"So what did you think of the performance, old man?" Deadpool finally spoke up. Sarutobi looked up at Wade who folded his arms behind his head and leaned back in his chair, propping both feet on the table as he did so. "Be honest with me. You're impressed, aren't ya? Awe struck? Blown away? Bewildered?" As the masked man continued on smugly, Sarutobi simply continued to give him an unreadable stare. "C'mon. Give it to me straight, doc. 1 out of 10, when did you think? If you had to choose one word to describe me, which would it be? Amazing, or spectacular?"

'Amazing and Spectacular are more Spider-Man's thing. We fall more underneath 'deranged' and 'unreliable' than anything else.'

'Yeah, but HE doesn't know that,' Deadpool argued mentally, shooting the old shinobi two thumbs up. 'And we need money, so hush!'

Sarutobi took a second to take a few puffs from his pipe before he responded. "… To be completely frank with you Wilson-san, I'm not entirely sure what to say about what I just saw," he answered evenly, taking off his hat and setting it on his desk. "I was actually hoping you'd be so kind as to answer some questions. Because for the life of me, I can't seem to deduce the answers myself."

"Oh sure, completely understandable," Deadpool agreed, leaning even further back in his chair. At that point, he was leaning far enough back he was looking straight up at the two guards behind him. "Love the masks, by the way," he whispered, causing both men to look down at him momentarily before snapping back forward. "Daaaaaaw. Was it something I said?" Deadpool looked at Sarutobi, who just stared at him in confusion. "Aren't the most sociable guys, are they?"

"…. Indeed," Sarutobi said, sounding somewhat uneasy. "Anbu are amongst the most elite rank a shinobi can reach," he specified. "They are trained to be the most disciplined and ever vigilant." The Hokage cleared his through. "But I feel we're getting off topic. Why don't we-!"

'Oh for the love of God, no. Please don't do it, Wade.'

'He's gonna do it! He's gonna do it!'

"Most disciplined, eh? We'll see about that." Before the old man could finish, Deadpool abruptly shot up from his chair and turned to the two men behind him, hands on his hips. Sarutobi watched as the anti-hero looked from one man to the other with a stern eyebrow raised. "Did you boys know diarrhea is hereditary?" Both men looked at each other, before shaking their heads. "Yeah, because it runs in your JEANS!" There was a moment of silence as the horrible joke began to set it. But after a few seconds and getting NO response from either man, Deadpool narrowed his eyes. "Hmmm… How about this one? I stood there wondering why the baseball was getting bigger, until finally it hit me." Again, no reaction. "Fine. You should never eat sea-food before going dancing. Why? Because you might pull a MUSSEL!"

Finally, one of the men stifled a chuckle before immediately being elbowed by the one next to him.

'HAHAHAHA! Classic.'

'Puns should be considered a crime against humanity…'

Scratching the back of his neck, Sarutobi could help but grin faintly, finding the sudden display somewhat humorous. "You're quite the character, Wilson-san," he stated, setting his pipe to the side.

"Marvel, to be exact," he quipped, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. The Hokage raised an eyebrow back at him. "Forget about it. Please continue," he assured dully.

'Should we tell him?'

'Nah, let's see how this plays out first,' Deadpool thought.

Clearing his throat again, Sarutobi sat back in his chair, his hands in his lap. "Like I said before, I have some questions that I would like you to answer for me. After that incident with the shuriken, it is apparent you aren't exactly what most would call normal. That would've killed any other person, but you instead laughed it off and proceeded to dispense with the attacker as if nothing had happened." Sarutobi started to stroke his goatee, perplexed. "I'm curious as to why that is."

"Oh that? It's nothing. I'm just unable to die is all," the mercenary answered simply. Seconds passed by as the Hokage and both Anbu eyed Deadpool, wanting him to continue. Looking round, he caught on and sighed. "Want the full story? Because the FULL story isn't exactly short."

"I got nowhere to be but here," Sarutobi assured warmly, slouching back in his chair. "Plus, if you really are looking for work, I would feel more comfortable assigning it to someone I at least have a vague understanding of. Is that so wrong?"

"…." There was a long pause on Wade's end. Scratching his chin, he narrowed his eyes and smiled. "I suppose not," he answered evenly, sitting forward and folding his arms across his chest. "But in return, you got to answer a question of my own. I'm getting a weird vide off this place, but you seem to be an honest enough guy."

"But of course, Wilson-san," Sarutobi assured, raising his hands defensively. "If you are honest with me about you and your intensions, I will show you the same courtesy." The village leader grinned warmly at the mercenary and leaned back in his chair. "You've already proven you were willing to protect Naruto-kun, something I am quite grateful for. That alone speaks volumes about your character. I simply wish to become more familiar with a possible friend."

"…." Once again, an awkward silence befell the Hokage's office. As Sarutobi continued to smile and stroke his goatee, Deadpool sat in silence, reading the old man's expression as genuine. 'Friends, huh?'

'Been a while since we had one of those.'

'What about Wolverine?'

'Hates our guts.'

'Bob?'

'What ABOUT Bob?'

'Far point. Cable?'

'He tolerates us, at best.'

Finally, Deadpool let out a sigh and slumped back into his chair. Reaching up, he slowly started to remove his mask. As it came off Sarutobi's smile faltered, being completely caught off guard by the condition of Wade's skin. It was horrifically scarred. Chunks of skin also seem to be missing, revealing the bare muscles underneath where the skin would be. As the mask came completely off, it was also revealed that not only was not bleeding from the wound he received from the shuriken, but that the wound itself was now nonexistent.

However, whilst Sarutobi kept his composure, the two Anbu standing behind Deadpool weren't quite as ready for what they saw. When Wade removed his mask, the Anbu in the wolf mask took in a sharp and audible intake of air, while the one in the bear mask took a hesitant step back.

"Pretty, aren't I?" Deadpool chuckled, tossing his mask over his back. And, almost like as if his mask was the bubonic plague, both Anbu hastily took a step to the side, the discarded article of clothing flopping on the ground. "Yup, turns out immortality has it's drawbacks."

"…. Very interesting," were the first words to come out of Sarutobi's mouth. Leaning across his desk the elderly man placed two fingers on his Wade's forehead, feeling the area where the shuriken struck. "There's not so much as a scratch. Simply amazing." It was now Deadpool's time to be taken aback. In all his time as being Deadpool, no one, other than Shiklah, HADN'T been freaked out or downright disgusted by his appearance. "Where you always like this?"

'Aaaawkward.'

'Quite.'

It was weird for Wade to say the least. He was at least expecting the old man to be a LITTLE hesitant about him. But, instead, the village leader was far more astonished by the fact that he healed from such a wound, rather then focusing on his outward appearance… Or his obvious unstable demeanor…

(One Origin Story Later)

"And after that, I dawned this fabulous red and black spandex and became the Spectacular Deadpool," Wade finished, with an overpowering theatric tone of voice. He was now standing, his foot on the chair he WAS sitting in, with a hand over his heart and a fist raised high. Before him sat not just Sarutobi, but also stood the two Anbu guards, all three taking in the story they were being sold. "The Merc with the Mouth. The Regenerating Degenerate," Deadpool continued, putting his fists on his hips and puffing out his chest. " With my now nearly indestructible body, there is no task too demanding. No challenge I can't overcome. The very mention of my name strikes fear into the hearts of the most notorious and ruthless criminals where I'm from."

'I think you're laying it on a little too thick, Shakespeare. Reel it in a little, won't you?'

'Shut up! I wanna hear this! Keep going!'

Deadpool folded his arms across his chest. "I've done it all. From simple escorting missions to facing down entire armies, with nothing but my swords and sheer determination," he continued, still using his heroic voice. "You need a tyrannical dictator out of the picture? I'm your man. Your family being targeted by thugs? I make them go away. Dangerous criminal at large? I'm…. Well, you get the gist of it, right?" Sarutobi nodded, with an somewhat amused look about him. While ever silent, the two Anbu exchanged glances at one another. "So yeah, I'm pretty much an un-killable soldier of fortune. As long as the coin is good and the job is on the level, I'm the guy for the job."

As the anti-hero took his seat yet again, Sarutobi grinned faintly and continued to stroke his goatee. "I must say, that was quite the tale indeed. Sounds to me you've had an interesting life." Sarutobi leaned back in his chair before grabbing his pipe once again. As he took a drag, the old man let out a low hum. "I can't even begin to imagine the hardships you've had to endure till this point."

Wade let out a sigh. "You have no idea. I'm not even going to tell you about the experiments. I still have nightmares from time to time." Wade than began to ruffle through one of his pouches. "Most messed up part is that I don't even remember half the stuff they did to me, or parts of my earlier life for that matter." Deadpool pulled out a cigar and a box of matches. But, as Wade put the cigar between his lips, a smile crossed his face. "At least I don't need health insurance anymore, right? No more doctors for this guy."

Deadpool chuckled as he struck the match and lit the cigar. Sarutobi nodded. "It would appear that way," he agreed, scratching his chin. After that there was a moment where no one said anything. Deadpool sat in his chair making smoke rings, as Sarutobi found himself visually scanning the mercenary up and down again. "…. You said you were looking for work, correct?" Sarutobi asked, breaking the silence. Deadpool raised an eyebrow and nodded. "And you also stated you've worked as a bodyguard, yes?" Again, the mercenary nodded. "If so, then I may indeed have work for you."

'SCOOOOOOOORE!'

'I can't believe you pulled this off….'

"You have impeccable taste, old man," Wade chuckled, extending a hand to Sarutobi. The Hokage happily accepted it and shook the mercenary's hand, symbolically sealing the deal. "Now," Deadpool added, as he and Sarutobi continued to shake hands, "before we start talking details, I have a question for you, Sarutobi." The Hokage arched his eyebrows in curiosity. "Before you have me guarding Blondie Jr.," Deadpool said, motioning his eyes at Minato's photo, "I wanna know what is up with the kid."

The question was met with an eery silence.

Sarutobi, caught off guard by the serious question, instinctively tightened his grip on Wade's hand. The anti-hero watched as an uneasy look befell the Hokage's face as he looked down to one side as the two guards behind him stiffened their posture. Seeing their reaction, Deadpool released his grip on the old man's hand. "… I'm gonna go out on the limb and guess it involves a demon of some sort…"

"….." Sarutobi hesitated to say anything at first. He looked down at the sleeping Naruto, his expression conveying a look of overwhelming sympathy. The old man let out a long, depressed sigh before turning back to the mercenary. However, his once sympathetic expression was now replaced with one of seriousness. "…. Wilson-san," Sarutobi began, his voice low and steady. "Before I answer your question, there is something I must make perfectly clear to you. I want you to understand that what I have to say must not under any circumstances be repeated outside these walls or outside my company and mine alone. Is that understood?"

Folding his arms across his chest and raising a suspicious eyebrow, Deadpool nodded his head. "… Must be serious…"

'$50 on the kid being a half demon.'

'Ooooh! I'll take that bet!'

'… We just established Naruto was the son of that Minato guy, remember?'

'Oh yeah. I forgot. Never mind.'

'DAMNIT!'

Taking a deep breath, Sarutobi nodded his head. But before he continued, Sarutobi quietly got up from his chair and began to round the table. "This way, if you would," the old man whispered, gesturing for Deadpool to follow him. Deciding to play along, Deadpool merely rolled his eyes and did what was asked of him. He didn't have to walk far though, because Sarutobi only took the merc as far as the door to his office.

Stepping outside the Hokage's office and gently closing the door behind him, Sarutobi took a deep breath and turned to Deadpool. "Are you familiar with a creature known as the Nine-Tailed Fox? The Kyubi?"

Deadpool shook his head.

In retrospect, Sarutobi shouldn't have been surprised. "It is one of the great Tailed Beasts," he answered, cupping his hands together behind his back. "Colossal demons of unimaginable destructive power that plagued all of the nations of the shinobi. Demons so powerful, only the most skilled and powerful shinobi could even HOPE to combat their sheer strength. Possibly one of the most powerful of the demons, the Kyubi, attacked our seven years ago."

"Okaaaaaaaay," Deadpool said, still confused, "but what does that have to do with the brat in there?"

"I was just getting to that," Sarutobi clarified, rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze fixed at the entrance of his office. When Deadpool pocketed his hands and leaned up against the side of the door, the old man continued. "Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, the demon proved too strong to destroy, even with our mightiest shinobi…. Countless lives were lost trying warding off the beast, and nearly half the village was destroyed, leaving many survivors without homes…" Upon remembering the death and devastation of that night, a bead of sweat trickled down the side of the elderly man's face. "However," he continued, brushing the bead of sweat away, "while we weren't able to kill the monster, we were able to accomplish the next best thing…"

Now intrigued, Wade was now standing upright, hands still buried in his pockets but with both eyebrows arched in curiosity. "Which was what, exactly?" Wade asked.

"Thanks to the efforts of Minato Namikaze, my former successor, he was able to seal the beast into the body of his newborn child," Sarutobi answered quietly. "Knowing fully well the beast couldn't be killed, he performed a forbidden jutsu that, at the cost of his and his wife's life, managed to lock the Kyubi away in his own child, ultimately preventing the total destruction of Konohagakure…. That newborn child of his is the same child you saved tonight, and who is currently fast asleep in the room next to you."

'…. Woooooooow…'

'Indeed.'

Scratching the back of his head, Deadpool glanced at the door next to him. "So what you're basically saying is that the kid in there has the spirit of some fox demon in him?" Keeping a stern look about him, Sarutobi solemnly nodded his head. "And I'm going to guess the entire village knows that the spirit of the demon that shit-whipped their village is still quite alive and seal away in said boy, right?"

"Not entirely," Sarutobi corrected. "Immediately following the battle, it was announced that the demon was gone, but not killed. And while Naruto's heritage is known only by a select few, it was revealed that he was, in fact, the one in which the demon was sealed into." Sarutobi's face hardened as he looked down. "Many demanded the child be killed. Others wished to see him sent away to another village… But I made it clear that neither of those demands would be met. I would neither kill or send away the child of the man who gave his life to save our village from total destruction. The boy would live here and that was the end of it. I had also enacted a law that forbids the adults to reveals the boy's condition to their children. That way, at the very least, the boy would be able to befriend children from his own generation."

Deadpool scratched the bottom of his chin. "No offense, but judging by what I've seen tonight, I'm surprised the kid is still alive. Seems like a good chunk of the people here is itching to take a swing at him. Especially since he's been on the streets for two weeks. That would give them all the opportunities they would need." Then, much to Sarutobi's surprise, a large smile formed on Wade's face. "But hey, I guess that's where I come in, right?"

'That's where WE come in! WE!'

'WE'RE the same person.'

"…." Needless to say, the old man found Wade's willingness to still help the boy surprising, especially after hearing about Naruto's situation. Admittedly, a part of him was sure he would change him mind after hearing what he had to say. "… Indeed Wilson-san," Sarutobi agreed, a faint smile creeping onto his face. "While I do have some possible living arrangements in mind for the boy, you would act as his personal bodyguard." Against Sarutobi's better judgement, the old man had a question for the red and black clad mercenary. "If you don't mind me saying Wilson-san, you seem quite devil may care about this arrangement of ours. You act as if what I've just revealed to you was an everyday thing for you."

"That's because it is, old man," Deadpool laughed. "I mean, I'm not exactly normal myself, in case you haven't already gathered," he continued, motioning to himself. "Besides, half my buddies back home are 10x weirder than Whiskers in there. Hell, one of my buddies, Johnny, turns into a freaking hellish fiery skeleton biker! He also has major daddy issues, but don't bring them up in front of him or he'll get a little salty. Trust me."

For the fist time that night, Sarutobi let out a chuckle. "I'll try to keep that in mind in case I ever get the chance to meet him," he laughed, folding his arms across his chest. The Hokage than looked up at the man across from him. "But I trust you will look after Naruto-kun," he continued on, focusing back on the matter at hand. "I just need a couple hours to accommodate you two with living arrangements and then we will discuss further business. I hope that's alright with you."

"You don't have to worry about me, bossman," Deadpool reassured. "Besides, that will give me plenty of time to do a little sight-seeing. You guys have co-ed bath-houses, ri-!"

But before Deadpool could finish, the door to his right suddenly opened up. The two men simultaneously turned, revealing a tired, droopy-eyed Naruto standing in the doorway, with both of the Anbu bodyguards standing behind him. The young boy let out a loud yawn as he rubbed his eyes. Deadpool stared down at the boy, who in turn arched his neck to look back up at him. "…. Ummm… Mornin'," Wade said, rather awkwardly.

"… But the sun isn't out yet," Naruto yawned back, rubbing both eyes.

Sarutobi let out another chuckle, the second one that night.

To Be Continued…..

First off, sorry this update took so long to get to you. It was on my computer for weeks, half complete. The main reason because the scene where Sarutobi confides Naruto's secret to Deadpool was leaving me stumped. Seriously, it was a major roadblock for me trying to hash out an acceptable situation where that would work. I didn't want it to be a situation where Sarutobi straight up spills his guts out off the freaking bat like I did in the original story. Even got a little smack-talk for doing so. So, after pondering and pondering, I finally managed to scrap together a somewhat halfway believable situation where it DOESN'T seem too abrupt and sudden…. At least I hope it is alright. Is it alright to you guys? I hope so.

So there you have it. Now Deadpool is a bodyguard of are favorite blonde orphan. Yaaaaaaaay! That means we can let the fun and funnies begin! Though, I feel like I should go ahead and tell you all now that I will be making fundamental changes to this story. I won't tell you what exactly, but just letting you all know I will be throwing in new elements into this rebooted story, just to keep you all even more entertained. :D

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the update. Not entirely sure when the next update will come about, but I can at least say with full confidence that it will come sooner than THIS one did. I feel rather strongly, to be honest. But nevertheless, I hope you found this update worth the wait, and hope to hear from all you loyal readers and reviewers. Until next time!

-Mr. Alaska