walter-and-paige on Tumblr requested that myself and a-beautiful-mind-wf001 both answer the same prompt, "Walter goes on another date with Linda after he finds out Tim asked Paige out and she accepted, and they end up going to the same restaurant at the same night" and so we've both written an answer to that prompt, without discussing with each other what we're doing. So don't forget to read hers!

Linda picked up on the fourth ring. "Hello? Walter?"

"Hey Linda," Walter said. "So I was thinking I know you and I got off on the wrong foot but that issue with the bomb was an extreme situation we all have people close to us and someone being targeted like that is really a rarity and we both worry about ending up alone so I really want to try the two of us going on a date again I was thinking maybe..."

"Walter."

She hadn't let him finish, and it threw him off. "Y-yeah?"

"I may not be a genius, but I know you don't say that many words without pausing."

"Ah, I, uh..."

"Here's a tip, okay? Next time you're talking to a woman using a script, throw in a couple commas."

He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry."

"Walter..." she sounded awkward, which was good because that was exactly how he was feeling. "We talked about this. You're a really nice guy, but that date, it was a complete disaster. I don't think we'd be compatible even if I wanted to try again, and I just...I don't. Sorry," she said after a pause. "The woman at your work told me that you like when people are blunt."

"No, no, I appreciate, Paige told you that?" Walter scratched his chin. "Well since you brought Paige up – and you did, it wasn't me – did she say anything else?"

"Oh my god," Linda said, "you have feelings for her."

"I might have, at one point, had, something along the line of, of feelings," Walter stammered, "but..."

"She's dating someone else, isn't she?"

"Not, not dating, so much as going on a date..."

"Walter," Linda said, "feeling insecure about your relationship with her is not going to be solved by trying to date me again. Nor is it fair, to either of us, whether you're trying to date me as a distraction or to make her jealous. You can't string a girl along if you aren't going to commit to her."

Walter frowned. Is that what he'd been doing, to Paige? Smiling at her whenever their conversation danced around the idea of them, rejecting her leading statements while at the same time refraining from telling her that they could never happen? He hated absolutes, but the idea of that one was particularly painful.

"Oh..." Linda's voice jolted him back to the present. "You want to commit to Paige, don't you?"

Walter bit his lip.

"You know," she said, "I'm going to say yes, to what you were offering before. I'm sure the date and time you had in mind is similar to this date Paige is going on. I'll be there. You're paying. We'll make her jealous."

Walter was confused. "You will go out with me for the purpose of making Paige jealous?"

"Sure. I could use a free meal, plus it probably wouldn't be as awkward as our date, considering this time we won't actually be on one."

"O-okay." Walter stammered out the name of the restaurant, the day, and the time. "I'll see you then?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Hey, Linda, hey," Walter managed when she showed up, waving a hand. She wasn't late this time. Spotting him, she trotted over, throwing her arms around him. He was startled. "Oh, alright."

"This is gonna be fun," she said, tugging on his sleeve as they headed for the hostess. She was wearing a tank top, and he was envious. He was sweating.

Walter scanned the crowd. There were two tables off to the side. One said 'reserved'. The other was a few tables down, closer to the kitchen.

"Can we get that one?" Walter asked, gesturing to it.

"He likes being close to the kitchen," Linda said. "I hate it, but you know, sacrifices."

She had absolutely no idea how accurate the first part of her statement was, Walter realized. But she probably did know that he had chosen that one on this particular night to maximize the chances that Paige would see them.

"Right this way," the hostess said, leading them over to the table and passing out menus.

"I'm wearing a bra with as much push up as I own," Linda told him, smirking proudly after they'd placed their drink order.

Walter legitimately had not noticed. "Why are you doing this?" He asked.

"Honestly?" She set her menu down. "My thing is helping fix people up. Speed dating never worked for me, regular dating really hasn't yielded much, but I like helping people find each other. And I told you there was someone right for you out there somewhere..." she shrugged. "I know all the good you do for the world, if you think you've found her, then I want to help you make it happen."

The chairs at their table were set on an angle, due to the proximity to the kitchen. Walter kept glancing at the door. "There they are."

"No no," Linda said, "look at me."

"Sorry." He cleared his throat.

"You can't let them know that you've seen them," she said. "But they'll probably look over here soon, when they're waiting for their drinks. So engage with me. How was your day?"

"Uh..."

"Just talk about anything," she said, "it doesn't have to be interesting. Just keep the conversation going, they'll look over and see that we're not struggling with the whole words thing."

"Uh, okay, well, Tim asked Paige out last night, and Toby immediately decided that I had a problem with that and pulled me aside to analyze me, in that annoying way he does."

"And you did have a problem with it."

She was smiling and nodding, and he was confused until he realized that this was an act. This was all an act. Paige couldn't hear their words, but she could read their body language.

"I can't fake body language."

It wasn't a response to what she had said, but she rolled with it. "You gotta make her believe you're into me."

Walter glanced over. Paige was listening intently to something Tim was saying, her head cocked to the left. She was probably wearing earrings, but he couldn't tell, not with her hair falling off to the side like it was.

"Walter."

He jumped when he felt Linda's hand on his. "Walter, over here."

"Sorry." He folded his hands, leaning forward. He'd seen Toby do that when he was trying to appear pleasant. "Go on."

"Sell it." She curled her fingers around his. "Smile, keep talking."

"So we have this ferret," he said, deciding that was a less uncomfortable topic. "And he's really affectionate, it's weird, the other day Happy was napping on our couch and he jumped up and cuddled under her chin. It's funny actually, Toby..." he glanced to the side. "Toby leaned down to kiss her without realizing he was there. The ferret squeaked, and Toby screamed and jumped about a foot in the air."

Linda tapped the table, and Walter looked back at her. "So we all had a good laugh at Toby being surprised by the ferret."

"That sounds funny," she nodded. "A friend of mine got scared by my mother's dog that way once."

"What kind of dog?"

"Well, it's this weird mix that probably shouldn't even be its own breed, but they call it a pomeroodlepu...no no!" Her voice was sharp. "Look at me."

Walter reverted his eyes to Linda's face. "Huh?"

"Walter," she said, "you have to stop staring at her. If she notices us..." her eyes shifted without her posture changing, "and don't look, but I think she just did, you can't let them know that you see them. This is you and me, two normal people on a normal date. You have to stop fixating on her. Or this will not work. Understand me?"

Walter lowered his eyes to the tablecloth. "Yes."

"Okay," she said, "now she's watching, so don't freak out."

Walter only had a moment to process what she said before she grinned, giggled, and leaned across the table to put her lips – briefly – on his. From her starting to move to settling back down in her seat was less than two seconds.

Feeling he should do something, he put his other hand on top of hers and smiled. "What was that for?"

"I don't know. Maybe you said something really cute and I couldn't help myself. Maybe you're being super irresistible." She shrugged. "Either way, Tim just had to get her attention, Walter do not look."

"How am I supposed to read her visual cues if I can't look?"

"That's not the point of tonight. You don't have to see her. Her seeing you is what's important. If you're not one hundred percent on me, she's going to know what you're doing if she knows you at all."

Walter nodded. "Sorry. So, tell me what you've been up to since that business with the bomb."

"It looks like they're getting ready to go," Linda said. "Now's our chance. Let's take off."

They rose, and as they'd discussed, walked smoothly toward the door, his hand on her back. It was probably placed higher than it was supposed to be, but he figured for the purpose of their mission, contact was contact.

When they exited the restaurant, Walter was startled by the chill in the air. Linda didn't seem to shudder, and when he glanced at her arms, there were no goosebumps. Maybe he just felt cold because he'd been perspiring, his nerves out full force.

"I am going to require that you walk me to my car," she said, "but let's stand out here a minute or two." She glanced toward the restaurant door, then stepped toward him, taking both his hands. "Thank you for dinner. Honestly, I had fun." She cocked her head.

"You did?"

"I think this might help me, too. Going out with you when it's not a real date, I got to act more like myself, and this 'job' played to my strengths, you know, helping other people with this sort of thing. It might help me do better in my own personal life."

"How?"

"You know how you got better with the body language when I told you to pretend she was sitting across from you instead of three tables away? When I go on dates now, I can think remember how relaxed you were on that not – date with Walter O'Brien? And that memory might help me, help me channel relaxation and not be so awkward."

"I still wasn't that good," Walter said, "I can't look at you and pretend you're her."

"But it helped," Linda said. "From afar, we were very convincing. But they're coming out now, and she's glancing around, so I want you to slowly, in your head, count down from five, and then kiss me."

"What?"

She raised her eyebrows, and Walter nodded. Five...four...three...two...one.

He closed his eyes and leaned forward, and she rose on her tiptoes even though it wasn't necessary, putting her hands on his chest and curling her fingers around his shirt. He let his hands rest on her back, pushing his mouth against hers.

Linda's kiss wasn't like Paige's. He didn't feel it through his entire body, and he didn't want to pull her into his arms and not let her go, and there was no fire. But he was more comfortable kissing Linda than he was with Janice or Sima, maybe because there was no pressure, maybe because, at some point tonight, Linda had become a friend.

Their lips separated, and she shifted down to flat footed. She blinked and nodded, smiling. "You're actually not a bad kisser, you know that?" She held out her hand. "Walk me to my car."

"Certainly."

She was parked just a few cars down, right on the curb. "Right next to a lamp post," Walter observed.

"Women can never be too careful," she said. "And I'm especially careful now. Hey," her voice grew quiet. "Let me know how it goes, okay?"

"Okay." He nodded. "Um...thank you."

She smiled again. "Good luck."

Walter waited until she checked her back seat, got inside, and locked the doors. Giving him another little smile, she started the car, waved, and pulled out into the street. He turned, heading back up to the other side of the restaurant, where his car was.

He didn't see her until she stepped out in front of him, and he stopped, startled.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"Uh..." he cleared his throat. "Paige. Didn't you and Tim have that thing? Tonight?"

She folded her arms. "You know I was alarmed for a good half hour."

He didn't know how to respond.

"What were you doing, Walter, trying to make me jealous?"

"Were you jealous?" Damn. That dinner with Linda hadn't just boosted her confidence.

She seemed thrown off, and her posture shifted into something less sure. "A little bit."

He blinked. "You...you were?"

"I know I didn't like seeing you with someone else. I always figured that if you ever were ready to try something, it'd be with..."

He knew how she wanted to end that sentence – why were two little letters so hard to say? Why do we keep scaring off?

"You didn't like seeing me with someone else?" He said. "And yet you were out with Tim."

"Because I figured you were never going to be ready, and he's nice, and the past couple years have made me realize how lonely I am..."

Walter took note of her word choice. The past couple years have made me realize how lonely I am. Did that mean knowing him made her want a relationship again? Did he make her unable to pretend that she was happy raising Ralph alone? Did he affect her that much?

"And I thought hey, give it a go, maybe I'll find something." She shrugged. "And if you didn't care, then I could pursue it beyond that."

"So you wanted me to care?" He cocked his head. "Were you trying to make me jealous?"

"No, I was just curious about how you'd react because if you weren't jealous than I'd know that I would be waiting around for something that would never..." she trailed off, cocking her head again. "Were you jealous?"

He shifted his weight. "A little bit."

"So..." her head moved from side to side, ever so slightly. "So what, Walter?"

He stepped toward her, hesitating. He'd spent so much of the night focusing on visual cues that his brain felt burned out. He reverted to words. "Can I kiss you?"

Her eyes lit up – that he was able to recognize – and she bit her lip, studying him for a second before nodding. "Yeah."

"Okay." He nodded, stepping closer, suddenly feeling like his brain was stumbling all over the place. He took in a breath.

Five...four...three...two...one.

His eyes fell shut, his lips found her own, they drew each other in.

And there was the fire.