(Disclaimer: I don't own these guys, and, quite frankly, after seeing what
they do to most of the places they stay at, I don't want to. I'm just
hanging out for a spell. Hope you're not offended by my presence)
Prologue:
Templeton Peck winced.
The nurse pulled away, concern reflected in her eyes. "oh, doctor, are you alright?" she took his arm in a more gentle grip and began to loosen his sleeve where the slight red of blood had seeped through.
Face quickly pulled away. "Fine, Nurse Cambridge." He flashed her his most dazzling smiled. "I'm just such a clutz in the kitchen." he lied. "The carrots are probably laughing their tops off at me." Get Murdock, get out! Get Murdock, get out! Get Murdock, get out! And, for God's sake, don't forget to smile!
"Oh." The nurse frowned.
But Face pulled her close with his good arm, his heated breath on her face making her blush. "Don't fret, sweetness. A thousand such wounds could not keep me from your radiant beauty."
The woman giggled, pushing him away. "Your patient awaits, doctor." she reminded.
Expertly, Face pouted, which sent the nurse through a more giggles.
Murdock was waiting for him, acting out their prearranged escape story, cradling an egg.
Face frowned. The egg was not part of the scenario. Yea, like Billy, the invisible dog, ever was?! or the invisible horse, or the sock super hero, or the golf balls, or the countless other odd ball bits that popped out of the Captain's warped physchy.
'Course, Peck thought as he drove them away from the VA hospital after the successful escape, maybe Murdock had the answer. When the going gets tough, the tough, ar at least the A-team, gets tougher. But what did they do when the going gets brutal? psychotic? savage? He glanced at his best friend, his confidant, his lover who played, with child like interest, with the power window controls. When the going gets brutal, hide!
Sighing, Face turned his attention back to his driving. Too bad the resident nut case position for the team was already filled. Only one team member at a time got to hide away in fantasy land, and it was up to the other three to take care of reality.
Not that face begrudged Murdock for his insanity. Just, from time to time, envied it a bit.
Faceman had to deal with reality. He had to be aware! He had to not hide!
Like after the P.O.W. camps, when all he wanted to do was crawl under the bed and hide, forgetting that anything existed. But, nope, he had to snap to, gear up for the next mission, and bravely march on to dare the next asshole to do his worse to Templeton Peck!
That was the first time. He had done IT to snap himself back. When he felt himself slipping, hiding, he did IT. IT was like splashing his face with icy water or pinching himself out of a dream. The pain, the blood... it reminded him that he was real, that the world he lived in was real, that the people counting on him to pull off the impossible scams were real, that the fucking bullets coming his way were real.
And then he had to hide IT. No, he couldn't hide himself, but he sure as hell had to hide IT! If the Colonel knew....
Face shivered, remembering back when the Colonel had grabbed his arm and yanked back his sleeve. `What the hell is this, Lieutenant?' he had roared at him. `You don't have enough people trying to kill you, you have to take a few slices yourself?!' Hannible had almost sent him home back then, and maybe it would of been best. He would of left Vietnam before the team went on that last mission... hell, down a man, they probably won't have gone! All Hannible had to do was send him away and none of the last twelve years would of happened! They would all be sitting in some comfy chair in front of the T.V. with wives and kids, enjoying the real world that everyone but the A-Team got to enjoy. But, no, their great and all wise leader believed him when he swore he would never do IT again. Sure, he checked up on him for the first couple of months, checking his arms and legs for new cuts, keeping him close when things got rough, did all the right father figure things. And for years, Face kept to his promise.
But it just got too hard, too out of control, too... just too much. He felt himself slipping again, hiding... he had no choice but to shock himself back. He had no choice but to do IT. Wasn't as if It was a big deal, really. Face was an expert with a knife. He knew how deep and at what angle, and for how long and how to clean IT up and how to ward off infection. He was so good at IT, that he almost never had a scar. Except maybe for that last one. But that was an accident! He just got a little carried away! Did IT a little too deep!
Not that anyone could blame him. After all, they had been on nonstop missions for what seemed like forever now. Some even overlapped. The last one, Murdock had to make an appearance back at the VA or Dr Rickter would of thrown a fit, so they went on without him. It was easier with Murdock around. He could always make Face smile, make him relax, if not with his fun and games, then with his bedroom antics. But Face had been keeping him at a distance in the bedroom. He didn't want his lover to see the cuts. And then he was gone all together! And then the mission went bad! They got caught and smacked around, and, for a few moments, they had thought that was it, they were done for. But, at the last minute, Hannible's plan, warped and delayed, came through.
Thankfully, the Colonel decided that, after that close of a call, they could all use some down time. And, thankfully all over again, Face was sent to pick up Murdock while Hannible and B.A. packed up the van. They were supposed to meet at Face's latest scammed place in the morning and be off for the lake cabin for a whole two weeks of relaxation... And no more IT! face promised himself. He had Murdock, he had down time, he didn't need IT... not for awhile anyway.
"Facey? Are you a-okay?"
Face jumped at the soft voice and the gentle touch on his cheek. He glanced around sharply to see Murdock sitting on his knees, facing him, concern etched in those chiseled features of his. Face smiled. "Yea, fine. Why?"
Murdock waved at their surroundings. "We've been sitting in your driveway fro ten minutes now."
Startled, Face looked up at the big house they were parked in front of. "Oh." He desperately searched for an explanation. When he couldn't think of any thing, he chose to avoid the issue all together. "Well, what are we doing out here then?" He climbed out of the corvette. "You coming?"
Murdock watched him as he walked around the front of the car and headed for the front door. His soft brown eyes saw everything, knew everything, about his lover. And he knew that Face was not fine. he jumped out of the car, grabbed his duffel from the back seat, and hurried to catch up.
As soon as they were inside, Murdock dropped his back, kicked the door closed, and wrapped his arms around Face from behind. He leaned his cheek against the strong shoulders of his lover, noting how stiff they became at his touch. That was not supposed to happen!
Face started to pull away. "Not now, H.M." he protested, but Murdock didn't release him.
"What's wrong, sweety?" Murdock breathed in his ear. "And don't lie... I know you too well."
Damn! Face silently cursed as those perfect hands pulled up the front of his shirt and swirled around his bare chest. He knows me way too well to hide IT for long if I let him continue... Face jerked away, breaking Murdock's hold. "I said not now!" he snapped and hurried in to the next room, fighting the urge to glance back. He knew what he would see in Murdock's face: hurt, like being mule kicked in the gut hurt.
Stepping up to the wet bar in the game room, Face poured himself a drink. He was lifting it to his lips when the glass was snatched from his hand and slammed down on the bar. Shocked, Face looked up at Murdock.
"Damn it, what's wrong?" Murdock snapped. "You've been pushing me away for the better part of two months now, and I'm damn well sick and tired of it!" His voice took on a pleading tone. "I love you, Facey. I want to be there for you, to help you. But you have to talk to me! Tell me what's wrong so we can fix it!" He reached out for him.
But Face stepped away. He didn't want to do this! He was not going to do this! He would never let anyone know about IT! Damn it, this was supposed to be his vacation!
"Sweety..." Murdock started.
Face spun about and started away, but Murdock wasn't going to let it go. He grabbed his lover's arm and yanked him back.
Face cried out, nearly dropping to his knees as he felt the cut tare open again.
Murdock caught him in his strong arms. He sat him back on the bar stool. "What..." he stopped when he saw the blood soaking Face's sleeve.
Face's eyes grew wide with panic. Again he tried to escape, again Murdock stopped him.
Holding him in the stool with one hand, Murdock pulled the sleeve up with the other. He gasped at the sight of Face's slim arm. What had once been beautiful, perfectly smooth skin, was now spotted with pink, puffy cuts. Some were months old, nothing more than pale scars that would eventually vanish with time. Some were weeks old. Some were only days old. One long, deep cut was hours old, maybe a whole day... and it was bleeding badly.
His own fright making his voice shake, Murdock looked up into those blue eyes and whispered "What have you done?"
Face stared back for the longest breath, then looked away, ashamed that IT had been discovered. But, worse, they would make him stop IT! If he couldn't do IT any more, how was he going to deal with reality? How was he going to stay aware? How was he going to not hide when all he wanted to do was hide?
Fear finally over coming him, Face burst into tears, falling against Murdock's chest
Prologue:
Templeton Peck winced.
The nurse pulled away, concern reflected in her eyes. "oh, doctor, are you alright?" she took his arm in a more gentle grip and began to loosen his sleeve where the slight red of blood had seeped through.
Face quickly pulled away. "Fine, Nurse Cambridge." He flashed her his most dazzling smiled. "I'm just such a clutz in the kitchen." he lied. "The carrots are probably laughing their tops off at me." Get Murdock, get out! Get Murdock, get out! Get Murdock, get out! And, for God's sake, don't forget to smile!
"Oh." The nurse frowned.
But Face pulled her close with his good arm, his heated breath on her face making her blush. "Don't fret, sweetness. A thousand such wounds could not keep me from your radiant beauty."
The woman giggled, pushing him away. "Your patient awaits, doctor." she reminded.
Expertly, Face pouted, which sent the nurse through a more giggles.
Murdock was waiting for him, acting out their prearranged escape story, cradling an egg.
Face frowned. The egg was not part of the scenario. Yea, like Billy, the invisible dog, ever was?! or the invisible horse, or the sock super hero, or the golf balls, or the countless other odd ball bits that popped out of the Captain's warped physchy.
'Course, Peck thought as he drove them away from the VA hospital after the successful escape, maybe Murdock had the answer. When the going gets tough, the tough, ar at least the A-team, gets tougher. But what did they do when the going gets brutal? psychotic? savage? He glanced at his best friend, his confidant, his lover who played, with child like interest, with the power window controls. When the going gets brutal, hide!
Sighing, Face turned his attention back to his driving. Too bad the resident nut case position for the team was already filled. Only one team member at a time got to hide away in fantasy land, and it was up to the other three to take care of reality.
Not that face begrudged Murdock for his insanity. Just, from time to time, envied it a bit.
Faceman had to deal with reality. He had to be aware! He had to not hide!
Like after the P.O.W. camps, when all he wanted to do was crawl under the bed and hide, forgetting that anything existed. But, nope, he had to snap to, gear up for the next mission, and bravely march on to dare the next asshole to do his worse to Templeton Peck!
That was the first time. He had done IT to snap himself back. When he felt himself slipping, hiding, he did IT. IT was like splashing his face with icy water or pinching himself out of a dream. The pain, the blood... it reminded him that he was real, that the world he lived in was real, that the people counting on him to pull off the impossible scams were real, that the fucking bullets coming his way were real.
And then he had to hide IT. No, he couldn't hide himself, but he sure as hell had to hide IT! If the Colonel knew....
Face shivered, remembering back when the Colonel had grabbed his arm and yanked back his sleeve. `What the hell is this, Lieutenant?' he had roared at him. `You don't have enough people trying to kill you, you have to take a few slices yourself?!' Hannible had almost sent him home back then, and maybe it would of been best. He would of left Vietnam before the team went on that last mission... hell, down a man, they probably won't have gone! All Hannible had to do was send him away and none of the last twelve years would of happened! They would all be sitting in some comfy chair in front of the T.V. with wives and kids, enjoying the real world that everyone but the A-Team got to enjoy. But, no, their great and all wise leader believed him when he swore he would never do IT again. Sure, he checked up on him for the first couple of months, checking his arms and legs for new cuts, keeping him close when things got rough, did all the right father figure things. And for years, Face kept to his promise.
But it just got too hard, too out of control, too... just too much. He felt himself slipping again, hiding... he had no choice but to shock himself back. He had no choice but to do IT. Wasn't as if It was a big deal, really. Face was an expert with a knife. He knew how deep and at what angle, and for how long and how to clean IT up and how to ward off infection. He was so good at IT, that he almost never had a scar. Except maybe for that last one. But that was an accident! He just got a little carried away! Did IT a little too deep!
Not that anyone could blame him. After all, they had been on nonstop missions for what seemed like forever now. Some even overlapped. The last one, Murdock had to make an appearance back at the VA or Dr Rickter would of thrown a fit, so they went on without him. It was easier with Murdock around. He could always make Face smile, make him relax, if not with his fun and games, then with his bedroom antics. But Face had been keeping him at a distance in the bedroom. He didn't want his lover to see the cuts. And then he was gone all together! And then the mission went bad! They got caught and smacked around, and, for a few moments, they had thought that was it, they were done for. But, at the last minute, Hannible's plan, warped and delayed, came through.
Thankfully, the Colonel decided that, after that close of a call, they could all use some down time. And, thankfully all over again, Face was sent to pick up Murdock while Hannible and B.A. packed up the van. They were supposed to meet at Face's latest scammed place in the morning and be off for the lake cabin for a whole two weeks of relaxation... And no more IT! face promised himself. He had Murdock, he had down time, he didn't need IT... not for awhile anyway.
"Facey? Are you a-okay?"
Face jumped at the soft voice and the gentle touch on his cheek. He glanced around sharply to see Murdock sitting on his knees, facing him, concern etched in those chiseled features of his. Face smiled. "Yea, fine. Why?"
Murdock waved at their surroundings. "We've been sitting in your driveway fro ten minutes now."
Startled, Face looked up at the big house they were parked in front of. "Oh." He desperately searched for an explanation. When he couldn't think of any thing, he chose to avoid the issue all together. "Well, what are we doing out here then?" He climbed out of the corvette. "You coming?"
Murdock watched him as he walked around the front of the car and headed for the front door. His soft brown eyes saw everything, knew everything, about his lover. And he knew that Face was not fine. he jumped out of the car, grabbed his duffel from the back seat, and hurried to catch up.
As soon as they were inside, Murdock dropped his back, kicked the door closed, and wrapped his arms around Face from behind. He leaned his cheek against the strong shoulders of his lover, noting how stiff they became at his touch. That was not supposed to happen!
Face started to pull away. "Not now, H.M." he protested, but Murdock didn't release him.
"What's wrong, sweety?" Murdock breathed in his ear. "And don't lie... I know you too well."
Damn! Face silently cursed as those perfect hands pulled up the front of his shirt and swirled around his bare chest. He knows me way too well to hide IT for long if I let him continue... Face jerked away, breaking Murdock's hold. "I said not now!" he snapped and hurried in to the next room, fighting the urge to glance back. He knew what he would see in Murdock's face: hurt, like being mule kicked in the gut hurt.
Stepping up to the wet bar in the game room, Face poured himself a drink. He was lifting it to his lips when the glass was snatched from his hand and slammed down on the bar. Shocked, Face looked up at Murdock.
"Damn it, what's wrong?" Murdock snapped. "You've been pushing me away for the better part of two months now, and I'm damn well sick and tired of it!" His voice took on a pleading tone. "I love you, Facey. I want to be there for you, to help you. But you have to talk to me! Tell me what's wrong so we can fix it!" He reached out for him.
But Face stepped away. He didn't want to do this! He was not going to do this! He would never let anyone know about IT! Damn it, this was supposed to be his vacation!
"Sweety..." Murdock started.
Face spun about and started away, but Murdock wasn't going to let it go. He grabbed his lover's arm and yanked him back.
Face cried out, nearly dropping to his knees as he felt the cut tare open again.
Murdock caught him in his strong arms. He sat him back on the bar stool. "What..." he stopped when he saw the blood soaking Face's sleeve.
Face's eyes grew wide with panic. Again he tried to escape, again Murdock stopped him.
Holding him in the stool with one hand, Murdock pulled the sleeve up with the other. He gasped at the sight of Face's slim arm. What had once been beautiful, perfectly smooth skin, was now spotted with pink, puffy cuts. Some were months old, nothing more than pale scars that would eventually vanish with time. Some were weeks old. Some were only days old. One long, deep cut was hours old, maybe a whole day... and it was bleeding badly.
His own fright making his voice shake, Murdock looked up into those blue eyes and whispered "What have you done?"
Face stared back for the longest breath, then looked away, ashamed that IT had been discovered. But, worse, they would make him stop IT! If he couldn't do IT any more, how was he going to deal with reality? How was he going to stay aware? How was he going to not hide when all he wanted to do was hide?
Fear finally over coming him, Face burst into tears, falling against Murdock's chest