Jump City is known for many things. A sub average football team that always just seems to miss the playoffs; a burger joint named Mega Meaty Meat that ended up being a front for an alien invasion; a beach so beautiful it's one of the most popular vacation spots in the U.S.; and of course, its resident team of teen superheroes known as the Teen Titans. What it's not known for is classic art, and that is why the newly elected mayor decided his first project would be to open a new museum dedicated to the one thing it was so sorely missing. On opening day crowds flooded the gallery. Like all buildings dedicated to the finer things in life, the interior was limited to a completely white color scheme with a pillar here and there to hold up the high vaulted ceiling. Unfortunately, this design also amplifies all sound to an incredible extent, which usually doesn't come into play in such art galleries, but today was different. Today was opening day, and everyone and their mother decided to show up, which resulted in a complete cacophony of noise. Even with such noise, one complaint could be heard above all uproar.

"Eeeuuuuugggghhh! Why do we even hafta' be here?"

"Beast Boy! Keep it down! We're out in public, and we should always be modeling good behavior. These people, especially the young ones, look up to us." the team leader quickly chided.

"I just don't get why we're here! It's just a bunch of dusty, old paintings."

"These aren't just dusty, old paintings, Beast Boy. They're priceless pieces of history that artists use to convey their inner emotions." replied the team's dark sorceress and empath.

"Well duh, but why do we even care about them? What people should really care about is what those turtles did before they painted all this stuff! You know: fight crime, take down Shredder, and they were even trained by a rat!"

"Wait, hold up there Green Bean! Are you talkin' about the TMNT? You know they were named after all these artists right? They didn't do the paintin' themselves! Everyone born on planet earth knows that!" the team's engineer and general go to guy for all thing electronic got out between bouts of laughter.

The team's animal shape shifter quickly turned red and began to shoot back a retort, but before he could respond he was cut off by an extremely outgoing alien also residing on the team. "Fear not friend! I also did not know that this 'Leonardo' and his fellow friends did not fight crime!"

"Yah see Cy! Star didn't know too!" Beast Boy eventually shot back.

"Uh-huh, but last time I checked, the girl wasn't born here on planet earth." Cyborg rebounded, and once finishing couldn't help but break down into hysterical laughter.

Starfire, also finding the situation humorous, joined Cyborg in laughter. Robin, seeing the girl he'd been smitten by from the moment she planted a big one on his lips react so joyfully, also couldn't help himself and joined in, but on a much more reserved level. Even Raven watched with a genuine smile on her face and a slight chuckle escaping her mouth (but she would deny ever doing so). This left the green changeling standing there with his arms crossed trying to fume angrily at his friends, but nowhere near as intimidating as Raven at doing so. As his friends continued to laugh, his furrowed brow relaxed and the corners of his mouth began to lift and soon, he too joined his friends in laughter.

This beautiful moment might have lasted forever, but instead was soon ended by a piercing scream. The Titans quickly discerned what direction from which it came and rushed off to find the cause of such a scream. Once reaching they're destination they came upon a disturbing sight completely surrounded by a stunned and slowly coming to crowd. In the middle of the crowd stood Control Freak with his remote pointed at what was formally a man but now, just a head and a pair of arms and legs on the ground, completely devoid of any torso.

[5 minutes ago]

"Disgusting! They call this art? This isn't art! Art is Watchmen. That comic was a piece of art! Back in 1986 comics were at their very best, at the top of their game. That storyline was completely perfect! Action, romance, humor… Well maybe not humor, it was pretty dark, but that's beside the point! And the illustrations! So well drawn… well maybe not Doctor Manhattan being naked the whole time, but beyond that: flawless! Not this dusty, old painting hanging on the wall here. Am I right?" The random appreciator of art just stared silently back at Control Freak, and slowly began to back away from him. After a few steps it turned into a fast walk, but that just made the world's nerdiest villain even angrier.

"Oh, so your gonna run away from me? I'll give you a reason to run away from me." He said under his breath as he reached for his modded remote in his jacket pocket. He pointed it directly at the mans chest and began to pull the trigger (or I guess press the button), but before he could commit, another man jostled into him. He turned against the man who'd just messed up a perfectly good opportunity for revenge, ready to yell at him and let him know who he just bumped into (Control Freak! Master of-ah you get it), but before he could say a word he noticed the man's attire. He wore thick pants and a heavy jacket despite the warm weather. Next Control Freak noticed the man's vest, it was oddly bulgy and had lights flashing hear and there. Confused by why someone would wear such an ugly vest, he looked closer. He noticed the bulges were in perfect rows around the whole vest and that each bulge had a flashing light and wires on each one. Realizing that the vest wasn't a fashion statement, but something of a much deadlier origin, he looked the suicide bomber in the eyes.

Time seemed to freeze as he began thinking about of his life. Ok, so I might be a bad guy, but I'm not THAT level of bad guy. Sure, I steal, but I'm not a murder… Or a mass murder in this case. What do I do? Do I just say I saw nothing and walk away? Would I make it out of the building before he decides to light this place up light a Christmas tree? Probably not. Do I yell that this guys got a bomb so security can take care of him? He'd detonate it right there before they could do anything. Can I do something about the bomb right now? Maybe… Maybe I can zap the vest off of him and send it into some t.v. That way he'd have no chance of blowing us all sky high. That sounds… like it could work.

The next moment Control Freak chose not to be a villain, but be a hero. He pointed his remote at the man's vest and pressed a button hoping to send the bomb off somewhere it couldn't hurt people. Instead the man's entire torso disappeared and the various limbs fell to the ground. That's when the lady next to him saw the bodiless limbs and screamed.

[End Chapter]

What'd you think? Did I pique you're interest? Let me know. If it was awful, sure let me know about that too. I can't improve from just hearing, "Nice job!" If you do think it was bad, tell me why and I'll take it into account and try to improve in that area in the next chapter. Why I randomly wrote this? Well thanks for asking, I went looking for a Civil War parody for Teen Titans and not finding one, decided to add one myself. This is my first try at one of these, always wanted to write a book, so why not start here. This one's a little shorter than the upcoming chapters because I wanted to test the waters first and leave a nice cliff hanger. I'm gonna try to update weekly, but no promises. Oh! and I don't own Watchmen or the TMNT as well! Anyway, thanks for reading and hopefully Chapter One was Above Average in your book!

One last thing! Any idea's of whose on what side? Or what might cause such a division in the Titans? (Hint: that was what this chapter was) I'd like to know who you think would be on each side. Don't fear to talk about Titans East and all Honorary Titans as well; I sure won't be. And if you noticed I didn't put any main characters, that was purposeful. I'm going to try to talk about all of them... a lot. Honestly couldn't decide which of the five Titans to leave out.