Chapter One

I feel my spine click as I lace my fingers together above my head to stretched my back out, hearing the office chair creak and groan I let my body relax and push away from my desk. Finally finished the last of my book, not that I'm going to tell Aikawa just yet. I'm sure that woman lived to torture me and who was I to take away her enjoyment (she will be over later today anyway, my deadline is noon).

Last night I slept like the dead and didn't even get as far as touching my Misaki let alone make love to him, my fault I know, at 3am I dragged my tired body to our bedroom, I didn't even get to take more than my tie and my vest off before I fell onto the bed and couldn't get up again.

I did manage to drag my tired ass out of bed at my alarm and get presentable so I could have a Misaki made breakfast. I missed my chance to eat with him only a few times since he moved in and it made the day seem weird and wrong. Like when you have a habit you were trying to break ... Speaking of habits, I search my desk for my smokes to find the packet nearly empty.

I have cut down a lot since Misaki joined me in the condo, I was not as stressed and not as lost anymore. I didn't need the toxins to fill the void and he hated it when I smoked. But honestly, I had cut down for the main reason anyone would, my health. Ok so the main – or the only reason was him, he hasn't asked me to stop but I knew he didn't like it. I screwed the packet up and crushed the last few that were in there and dumped the packet in the waste basket. He didn't ask but I would do this for him anyway.

I head Misaki call from the living room, checked my watch. Crap he has to go to Uni now, I'm going to miss out. I quickly ran down the stairs and caught him as he was delaying (pretending he needed to readjust his bag). Aww, this young man was too cute! Stalling till I got there to say my goodbyes, how could you not want to kiss and hug him!

"Misaki," I said in my bedroom voice, I felt him shiver as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders "I will drive you, stay longer Misaki" I purred in his ear. One day he will not resist, I'm not sure how I feel about that day coming, but one day he will call to me in his bedroom voice and I hope I shiver in anticipation like he does.

Ah! Not today it seems, he pushed my arms away "Usagi, I have to go, I'm meeting Todo-san you can't drive me today" he said , not altogether angry but none too happy with me.

"Come on, let me go now" he squirmed out of my grip as soon as I latched back on to him. I let him push me away again, this time, I just smirked. At least he was only meeting Todo that man I could trust. Not a weird vibe from him at all.

"Ok Misaki, be safe," I said in parting as I tousled his soft brown hair, regretting it as soon as my hand moved away as now I wanted to feel his hair in my naked chest as he rested next to me in our bed. He muttered a goodbye and took off in a rush. I should have taken longer with my book then I wouldn't miss him so much. Now what to do?

I made another coffee and took it to the sun drenched living room, my fingers twitched for a smoke and I hid my hand under my armpit as I crossed it over my chest. I sipped coffee and felt my eyes get heavy in the warmth, just need Misaki and all would be good. I opened my eyes and two little black glass eyes shone back.

Suzuki looks as lonely as me, I grabbed the oversized bear and put him next to me, he will do in place of Misaki for now, I leaned against him a little and basked in the sun. But all too soon this peaceful morning is disrupted by the door bell.

Honestly, why do we even have a doorbell, stupidest invention ever! I ran my hand over my eyes and stood, ok so maybe it was the lack of nicotine, not the doorbell that was at fault but still, it's not even 10am. The bell turned to knocking, as I made my way to the door. Ahh yelling joined the knocking... So she's early then.

I opened the door to see the demon editor muttering to herself and digging in her oversized handbag, honestly why women insist on carrying everything around where ever they go is still a mystery to me! I leaned on the open door and waited for her to notice. Again my smoking hand twitched and I hid it's treachery by putting it in my pocket.

"Ah! Usami-Sensei" she said slightly startled "You're awake, and looking refreshed" her friendly greeting started to turn sour... here it comes the demon from the editing department. "You better be finished and not trying to run off again" she growled as I let her in and shut the door. She stormed into my house like she has thousand of times before, this was kind of comforting in a way.

I wanted to run away now, just to see her reaction. But my small smile gave me away, she clapped her hands together and ran to my office, how did she not break her neck running up the steps in her slippery stockings it's a wonder. I followed slowly behind her, I needed to press print before she could get to work.

Giving her the files just on USB didn't sit right with me, I knew she would hold the digital files safe but I needed to feel the book between my fingers, mark the errors in own hand giving them a physical outlet or I would not be able to remember what I needed to change.

Making her wait for the pages fresh off the warm printer was also amusing (wow I'm in a vindictive mood today, maybe it was a lack of nicotine). She snatched each page as it came out and made herself comfortable on the floor of my office. I passed her a pen from off my desk and went to get us both a cup of coffee. After all, it looked like we were going to do last of the edits right here and now.

Stopping on the way to the kitchen I looked for a nicotine patch in the bathroom. Ahh, here the vile little sticky patches are... a month past due date... better use two. Coffees in hand I went into the office to start with the last edits.

Coffee cold and half drunk, laptop warm and overworked I finally finished with the edits. I was saving the file to USB AND reprinting it, I would be lucky if she let me re-read it one more time but I think it's fine the way it is. Already letting this project slip from my mind and moving to the next plot, time for a BL novel I think. The sunshine and warmth of the living room have given me ideas for saunas and steam rooms.

It was still early afternoon, all in all, a productive day. Misaki had work tonight at his part-time job, but I think I could build the bones of the BL novel before he got home.

The doorbell rang again, sighing heavily I got up and let Aikawa take control of the printer. Who was it this time? Who was left to invade my space, not my bratty cousins again I hopped, we just get got rid of the interlopers last month!

Too early to Takahiro, and he never turned up unannounced. Frustration was eating away at me, smoking hand itching for something to hold. Maybe the good for nothing patches are defective I want a smoke more than ever now!

"Sir, I have a young male visitor requesting entry" the security guards voice came over the voice channel of the intercom as I pressed answer "He's asking to see you, says his name is Arashi Hibiki" he informed. I held the button down but could not for the life of me work out who this kid was.

"James-san, are you sure he was asking for me, I don't know anyone by that name," I said finally, was he one of Misaki's friends, it's a name I don't know. There was a click and light static as the intercom sound cut out to mute, James is most likely checking the details with the young man. I shrugged and started to walk away when the intercom came back to life.

"Sir he asked me to tell you that his mother is Arashi Kira," James said, sounding unconcerned with the outcome of this conversation. "Sir, shall I send him away?" He asked after I was silent too long.

Arashi Kira, oh lord! I know that name! No, no, no, not happening.

"Yes send him away I don't know that name, thank you James-san" I lied into the intercom.

Blood was draining out of my face and I was rather sure my left eye had started to twitch. I scratched at the stupid patched under my shirt and backed away from the intercom unit. I just stared at the door like at any moment the women may burst in through and demanded things from me once again. I didn't know Akawai was even standing next to me, she was just suddenly at my arm trying to get my attention.

"Usami-Sensai, I will just take these to the office now, I think we are fine to go into print as it is, once again it's a masterpiece," she said to me, she sounded miles away. Her face came into my direct line if sight, taking away the image of that woman busting through the door.

"Are you ok?" she asked concerned. I nodded and covered my eyes with my non-smoking hand. It was shaking and I couldn't stop it, so I dropped it quickly.

"Tired is all - if you have all you need please leave," I said a little too curtly. She'd nodded and left without another word, I guess I'm like this to her more often than I realized if she didn't make a fuss at my rudeness.

She's is very good at her job and I would never accept another editor, defiantly good women, perverted mind, but good women.

Scratching at the patch again like it was my memory, if only I could get rid of thoughts as easily as I could the damned patch. It made me feel gritty and grimy, I let Misaki believe that the reason I was into men was due to seeing my mother with a man, scaring me away into the hands of a kind teacher. But it's just not true, I let him believe in that pretty lie, my Misaki didn't need to know the truth.

Shower, I need a shower! Memories of her made me want hot water, hot scolding water!

Anger settled in my gut as I took the steps to go to the bathroom, how dear she send someone after me now, all this time and she has known to leave me alone and now out of the blue she sent an errand boy after me! Never again she will never get her talons into my life, never again – it had been years. Why now, was it money – did the fortune my father paid her run out so fast!