Chapter 5:

Beca fled through the apartment building and out the door. The second she burst out the front entrance she broke out into a full on sob and stumbled onto the building's stairs, sitting down so she could catch her breath.

Her and Aubrey hadn't fought like that, with the yelling, filled with hatred, in a long time. Beca didn't totally understand why she was so upset. What happened upstairs moments ago all just went by so fast to her, and she wasn't able to grasp the reasons behind her feelings. Of course she was focused on the last part, however. The Aubrey leaving part. But she had come to terms with Aubrey leaving months ago, so she thought. She didn't actually suspect them to leave it like this though. Last time she expected Aubrey to leave, they didn't have a formal goodbye. She just up and left in the middle of the night.

Beca had convinced the Bella's to all go to Aubrey's graduation. Not that it took much effort, they all of course wanted to be there for their captain. And Beca, she had wanted to go and support Aubrey, because she was proud of her.

She was proud that Aubrey had gotten over something so humiliating that happened her Junior year, and came out better in the end. She was proud that she even allowed herself to get involved in something like the Bellas, when in reality it served no purpose to her career track. She did it for her nerdy self, and Beca recognized that probably wasn't so easy to do at first. Beca was proud of her because Beca had watched Aubrey for hours studying, and working on homework, and practicing presentations. She was always so intense and serious about her school work, and trying that hard, all the time, is a super power that Beca envied of her.

So yeah, Beca wanted to go to Aubrey's graduation, because she deserved to have someone there who had witnessed it all. Chloe had too, but Beca sometimes did on a whole other level. Like when Beca would stay with Aubrey in the library until 2 am, until finally convincing her it was time to go. Or when Beca would use 20 questions as a way to get the other girl to stop shaking her leg because Aubrey's brain was just too cramped to comprehend anything too serious.

But Beca couldn't just show up to her graduation alone, because it definitely fell into the girlfriend category. Not that everything that Beca did for Aubrey didn't fall into that category, but this was much less subtle. At least in sake of the library Beca could blame it on being super into making a mix on her computer, and she enjoyed the company. Rather than the truth of Beca just not wanting to leave the girl alone on campus for so long, because Aubrey was kind of oblivious to her surroundings when working. And that she specifically enjoyed the blonde's company. In the sake of 20 questions, Beca could blame it on Aubrey boring her. Rather than the truth of Beca wanting to make sure Aubrey doesn't have a mental break down.

So showing up, giving her congratulatory flowers, wearing a skirt for Christ sake, was not subtle enough for her to be doing alone. So instead all the Bellas showed up, the Bellas gave her congratulatory flowers, and the Bellas all dressed up for the occasion. Beca so happened to be a Bella, is all.

Aubrey walked across the stage, the Bellas yelled and whistled in the true Bella way, and they all hugged her at the end. They were all quickly introduced to Aubrey's parents, who had flown down for the day only. It was a quick exchange, in which Aubrey stood and pointed as she named everyone off to her parents. Then she was ushered away to have a dinner with her parents as they were flying out later that evening.

Beca didn't get much of an impression of them. When Aubrey spoke of her home life, truthfully, it was all very mixed. Everything Aubrey has said about them has given Beca an idea that they are hard working people, just dated in their ideals, and very intense, but at the same time supportive in their own way, and only wanting the best life for their daughter. The quick "hellos" did little to nothing to expand upon that impression, or rather, lack there of.

After her mother and father departed for the airport, Aubrey and her Bellas made their ways around campus parties. In which, they all celebrated the best way they knew how. Drinking, and drinking a lot. Even Aubrey found herself not totally recalling how they made it from one house to another.

Beca indulged a little, but mostly just holding a half-way filled red solo cup, containing what tasted like watered down beer, in her hand. She kinda took on the mom role for the night. Which each of them have wordlessly taken over at some point through their time together this past year. Maybe not Fat Amy though.

At some point when their whole group was walking between Frat houses, in the Greek dominated neighborhood, Aubrey stumbled up to Beca, latching her left arm through Beca's hanging right arm. It was dark, but not totally, as the street lights were on, but there were also crowds of people on front lawns and most of the Bella's were far too drunk to even notice the two anyway. Beca noted at the time that it reminded her of Halloween trick-or-treating nights in busy neighborhoods. But instead of sugar spiked kids running around in costumes, it was drunk college kids running around in next to no clothing at all.

"Im gonna miss you, Becs. You made this year so much better than it could have been. Maybe you can come visit in Montana some time." She was directing her slurred words toward Beca, but she wasn't exactly talking to her. She was just talking. She didn't expect and answer, she was just drunk, and thinking out loud.

And Beca didn't answer. She just gave a half hearted smile and gave her a quick squeeze with their interlocked arms.

By the time Beca's phone read 4:47 am, she was laying in Aubrey's bed. Aubrey was asleep, half naked, lying on her stomach, and still sporting what was left of her makeup. When they stumbled in Beca helped her unzip her dress, much to Aubrey's dismay because she didn't seem to care about it, she just wanted to be in bed. But Beca knew that there was a chance Aubrey would throw up, and she would be pissed if it got on the dress.

Beca was still awake, though. She couldn't help but be stuck on Aubrey's words from earlier that night. 'Maybe you can come visit me in Montana sometime.' So stupid, Beca thought. It wasn't fair. She spent so much time helping this girl get through the year and now she graduates and she's expected to just say bye and never see her again? "Maybe" visiting her once in Montana for a couple days sounded pointless, and made her feel empty.

Beca wasn't sure why she was so invested anyway. Sure, being with the girl had been nice, but Beca had her own plans. Beca knew she had her own issues, and there was no way she could commit herself to this girl forever.

Maybe it was that it was going to be so sudden. Aubrey didn't have a set date, just "sometime this month, after graduation." They wouldn't have time to ease into only seeing each other less frequently as they would if Aubrey had gotten a job closer. Again, Beca thought, it just wasn't fair.

Beca decided no matter what way they said goodbye, no matter how or when, it was going to happen soon, and it was going to still feel unfair.

She tightened her jaw, sat up, and looked around the room. She shook her head, fighting whatever emotion was threatening her at the moment, and got up off the bed. She circled around the room quietly. Finding her wardrobe, ordering an Uber, and then stopping on Aubrey's side of the bed. She maneuvered around the small trash can that she had put by Aubrey's side earlier, just in case. She pushed some blonde hair off the sleeping girls face, stared for a moment, and then leaned down and kissed her temple. She made her way out of the apartment, waiting just on the inside of the building's front doors for her ride to show up, as she had done many nights before. This time she didn't have any plans to come back though.

But she did a few days later. The next time she saw her, she was standing in her doorway on a Tuesday morning, coming to tell her about the tour.

Beca's chest heaved as her crying subsided, while still sitting on the front steps of the blonde's apartment building. This wasn't how they were supposed to leave it. She wasn't supposed to leave in the middle of the night and never come back. She wasn't supposed to scream at her and never come back.

Beca used her shirt to rub her face. She rose and took a step back up the stairs, thinking of returning to the apartment, to possibly attempt to say goodbye the right way. But she stopped herself short, because there was never going to be a good way. She turned to descend the stairs, walking away from the building in a direction she recognized but not with a particular destination in mind.

She pulled out her phone while gripping her bag closer to her body. While sniffling one last time she scrolled through her phone contacts and found Grace Halls number, pressed "call," and cleared her throat while it rang in attempt to hide that she had just been crying. It was still early to be calling anyone, but she figured since the situation was time constraining, Grace wouldn't mind.

A woman answered a few seconds later, sounding chipper as ever, southern drawl rooted in her voice. It sounded like she was in a coffee shop with chatter and a barista yelling out orders when she said, "Well Hello Ms. Mitchell I was hoping to hear from you this mornin'!"

"Hi Grace," she said flatly, not one for formalities. "I got your e-mail, uh, obviously. Was thinking we could sit down and talk this morning?" She asked, and half jogged across a cross walk.

"Well of course I would love to! We'll talk logistics sweetheart. Tell ya what, I'm at Starbucks now, why don't you come on down here and we'll chat."

Beca rolled her eyes at the woman's chipper manor. She was not in the mood for it. "Uh sure. I wanna talk but I'm not so sure about everything just yet. But I'm willing to hear you out and-"

"Oh Rebeca thats okay! Trust me we'll work it all out when ya get here. Ten women are a lot to be responsible for keeping out of trouble. I would hate to see you wind up in a pickle."

There was a second of silence as Beca opened her mouth to respond. She finally cleared her voice and said, "Yeah, um, nine now."

"Oh no, sorry to hear that!" She chimed, not sounding sorry at all, Beca noted. "What happened dear?"

"Aubrey Posen, she's moving instead, got a job up in Montana."

"Oh the uptight blonde girl? Retired captain?"

Beca half laughed, "Yeah, thats her. She.. backed out."

"Well that doesn't sound like her! So last minute! And plus, I could have sworn that last time we worked together, last winter, she said she was going to try to get a job closer around these parts. Said she was in a relationship that she wanted to stick around for. Guess it didn't work out. Shame though, uptight as she is, girl can sing. But hey, more money for the rest of us girls now isn't there?" She chuckled at herself.

"What?" Beca asked, stopping short on the sidewalk.

"Yeah! Thats an extra 9% for the ten of us!"

"Did you say last winter? Are you sure? When last winter?"

"What was that sweetheart?" Grace asked, sounding confused.

"Aubrey, Aubrey Posen, you said you worked with her last winter. She said something about finding a job closer. What month was that?" Beca asked, quickly.

"Oh, it was for the Christmas caroling fundraiser y'all did. We met after the break to discuss the profits, and to plan better for next year. You know I think we're going to stick to the more upscale neighborhoods this year because-"

"So what, January?" Beca rolled her eyes impatiently.

Grace sounded shocked at Beca's impolite interruption. "Well… Yes January I suppose. Why are you so twisted up about this Rebecca?"

Beca turned and squinted back in the direction in which she just came from, before clearing her throat and saying, "Grace, can we meet for lunch instead? Something came up. I gotta go." Beca rushed to say, moving quickly back down the street.

"What? I thought-" Grace tried, but Beca hung up before she could finish.