A/N: For those of you not familiar with them, Atton Rand and Brianna are two characters from KOTOR II.

One is a smuggler that you come across who looks and acts like he's your typical Han Solo character, before backstory reveals he's actually a defected Sith soldier who was so good at his job he specialized in hunting and killing Jedi.

The other is possibly the long lost love child of the main antagonist? It's implied that Kriea and Arren Kae are the same person, and Kriea is even implied to be alias, since both the Jedi Council and Atris claim that isn't her real name. (Of course, they're more than likely referring to the fact that she's a bloody Sith, but details)

Anyways, Brianna is basically sent to spy on your party by this rouge Jedi Master named Atris, annnnd… Your character basically seduces her into learning the Force. It involves taking off your clothes and beating the shit out of each other, because her culture literally revolves around beating the shit out of each other to learn more about one another. Fun times.

Also, while looking through the Star Wars wikia for common swears in their universe, I came across the knowledge that Ben Skywalker walked around saying 'lubed' anytime he came across something he thought was cool. If I have to be cursed with this knowledge, so do you :P

Published: 7/14/2019

Warnings: None

Chapter 13

Philosophy

Kriff. Kriff, Kriff, Kriff!

Sithspit.

Emperor's Black Bones.

Vaping Moffs.

Grakh.

Ish'ka.

BLASTER BOLTS!

Ben paused, testing the words in his head. Yep. Blaster bolts. He was going with that one.

"Blaster bolts," Ben swore. Remus shot him a confused look while Dawlish, of course, shot him a suspicious one. Ben looked at the Auror apologetically.

"I'm so terribly sorry, sir, but I have to get going. I just remembered, I left the stove on," Ben lied.

Dawlish, Remus, and Sirius all stared at Ben incredulously. Remus was the first to recover, face becoming rather serious.

Good. Remus was quick.

Sirius… Was taking a little longer, but Dawlish wasn't really paying attention to the Animagi so Ben should be good.

"... buddy, the Ministry is under attack, the entire place is on lockdow-" Dawlish began.

The high pitched siren that had been flaring off in the background paused.

"All clear!" A crystal clear voice cut through the ensuing silence.

Dawlish paused, face going through several shades as he contemplated what excuse he could throw at them next.

"I'm still not letting you out! It's suspicious that an attack happened the second we brought Black in!"

Remus scoffed.

"Oh, come now. Sirius willingly surrendered. Walking him through the Ministry was a staged event to show the people they had nothing to fear," Remus reminded the Auror. "And, if my flat burns down because this moron left the stove on and you're refusing to allow him the literal minute it would take him to get there and back to turn it off, I will personally file a complaint directly to Madam Bones herself."

Ben had to give Remus props. Without any warning whatsoever, Remus was buying into the lie and backing him up. However… A minute? Really! Remus seemed to realize his mistake and paled a bit.

Dawlish smirked.

"By all means, then. A minute," Dawlish turned towards the other Aurors. "Robards! Escort Mr…" Dawlish turned back to Ben. "I didn't catch a last name."

"Evans," Ben said.

Dawlish muttered the name under his breath, frowning. Then, shrugging, he turned back to the other Auror. "Escort Mr. Evans here to the Apparition point. If he is not back in sixty seconds on the mark, he's not welcome back."

"Really, Dawlish? A minute?" Sirius tsked.

Dawlish, Remus, and Ben all shot him glares. Dawlish had already made it blatantly clear he didn't like Sirius, so anything Sirius added to the conversation would be twisted out of context.

"I don't want to hear a thing from you, Black."

"Come alone," Robards walked up next to Ben. Shrugging, Ben followed behind the Auror.

A minute. He had just one minute to get to Harry, warn him that a potential Sith Assassin might be on his trail. Or might not be. Rand's allegiance was spotty at best.

To someone else, a minute would hardly be enough time to set up a warning and a trap for a potential Sith Assassin. For Ben?

Well… He had time travel.

While all of this drama was going down, Harry had been spending his time in the most productive way he could imagine.

"Die, die, die!" Harry cried as he thumbed at the controller, causing Mega Man to fire, blasting his enemies to smithereens on the tv screen.

Contrary to strange popular belief, it was perfectly easy to get technology to work around magic. In fact, if you wanted magic to actually mess with technology, you had to cast a specific spell to do so.

Well. For the most part. Hogwarts was such an utter mess of Anti Muggle wards that it legitimately did fuck with electronic signals, causing them to go haywire.

This, however, was not a common occurrence everywhere.

If it was, half of Muggle London would be an uproar of mystery as to why there was a literal deadzone through half the city.

Harry wasn't to know these things, however. All he knew was that Mega Man II worked perfectly fine, even if all the text was in Japanese. Ben said it was good to learn other languages anyways, and the best way to learn was to get exposed to them.

Not that Harry was learning much other than how to massacre bosses, but details.

Tongue sticking out of his mouth, Harry concentrated on a specifically complicated maneuver. Almost got it… Almost got it… Victory would be his!

"Harry!" Ben materialized next to Harry, making him jump. The controller dropped from his grip. Unfortunately, Harry had been mid jump in the game as well, and he watched in horror as Mega Man fell to his doom.

"Nooooo!" Harry tossed his head back in anguish. That had been his last life too! Now, he'd have to restart the level!

Ben blinked.

"Oh, sorry Harry. Wait, aren't you supposed to be studying?" Ben crossed his arms, shooting Harry a stern look.

Harry wasn't having it. Not after all his hard work had been ruined by his Master's shitty timing.

"I was just about to beat the level! Now I have to start over!" Harry snapped.

Ben arched an eyebrow. "Harry, if you want time for games, that's fine. That doesn't give you the right to yell at me about it."

Harry resisted the urge to groan. Sometimes, he wished Ben would actually get mad. He was always so damn calm. It was somehow ten times worse, and Harry was secretly convinced Ben did it on purpose because Ben was a troll.

(Spoiler: Harry was right)

"Anyways," Ben continued on, not waiting for a response, "our position here's been compromised."

Harry gasped, anger forgotten.

"What? But- but- how?" Harry asked, flummoxed.

Ben grimaced.

"Someone… Unexpected. And skilled. That son of schutta snuck right into the Ministry in the middle of a Sithdamned lockdown… Which he probably orchestrated…"

Harry stared.

"The more I hear about the Ministry, the more incompetent they sound," Harry declared.

"For once, I have to disagree," Ben said, looking as if the words truly pained him, "this guy walked right up to Sirius' cell without anyone noticing him. Kriffin hell, I barely noticed him, he was hiding his presence that well."

Harry blinked.

"That's scary," Harry stated bluntly.

Ben snorted.

"You're telling me, kid. Initiate defense protocol Alpha Gamma Seven, just like we practiced."

Harry raised his hand in mock salute.

"Aye aye, captain!"

Atton ran as fast as his Force-enhanced legs would take him. Around him, civilians blinked, moving out of the way as Atton gently sent them a mental nudge. Leaping over cars and traffic, it was a wonder he hadn't caused an accident yet, even if he was mostly sticking to the sidewalks.

All things considered, he'd probably get there late anyways. Force Ghosts were notoriously fast.

Comlink in hand, because comlinks were so goddamn effective and easy to make that they had been in use for an estimated 25,000 years (A wild A/N appears: I make this up not lol, according to the SW wikia the first instance of a comlink showing up is in Dawn of the Jedi, circa 25,793 Before the Battle of Yavin), Atton dialed Brie.

She picked up instantly.

"Are they still follow-" Atton began.

A scream sounded from the other side, followed by the audible thump of bodies hitting the floor.

"They are persistent," Brianna spoke. "I find it hard to restrain myself from slaying them. However, I have managed thus far in doing so."

"Got it. I'm closing in on the target. Keep them away from the general area."

"Understood. Handmaiden out."

Atton blinked as Brianna hung up on him.

"Brie… It's literally been thousands years, why are you still calling yourself that?" Atton said to no one in particular.

True, he and Brie might have been asleep for the majority of that, but details.

Turning one last corner, Atton smirked. There it was. His destination, plucked right out of the mind of one Sirius Black. It was possible, of course, for anyone to block out a Jedi Mind probe. Possible, but hard to do so if you weren't aware the intrusion was happening in the first place.

Not only had Black not been aware, any natural mental shields he'd had had been utterly butchered by years of torture at the hands of soul sucking demons. Strolling into his mind to learn what he knew had been child's play.

That, and the man definitely needed a healer. Even Mical hadn't been that messed in the head after Traya had decided to rip into his memories for funsies.

Atton allowed his stride to decrease as he walked confidently towards the flat of one Remus Lupin. This was it. What they had been searching for, for so long.

All it took was one single Force scan for Atton to groan.

For Revan's sake- and yep, there it was. That damned Force Spirit, manifesting before him and smirking in victory. Ah well. Might as well get this over with.

Harry had gone, making his way towards a safe house. Ben, meanwhile, had someone to confront. Someone who might turn out to be friend or foe. Either way, Ben wasn't letting Rand near Harry, period. Harry was already going to be spending large amounts of time around Sirius Black. He did not need to add one of the Galaxy's largest deviants to that list.

A deviant that was walking right towards him.

Ben tapped his foot patiently as Rand strode forth to stand before him. For a moment, Ben considered letting the man inside Remus' flat, but thought better of it. Better to confront Rand out in the open than anywhere else.

"So, ghost boy, I see you've grown up a bit," Rand called in greeting.

Ben blinked as the words registered.

"... You know me?"

Rand shrugged. "I knew a you. Does that count?"

"A me?" Ben repeated, raising an eyebrow at the other man.

"A you," Rand affirmed, lifting a hand to wave it in Ben's general direction. "You've changed. You died, obviously. More than once, actually, since you've switched genders since the last time I saw you. Tsk, tsk. Reincarnation's a mess."

Ben blinked several times. He had… Honestly, if this had been someone else saying it, Ben might have bought it, but Atton Rand? The man that had run around murdering Jedi left and right by thinking bullshit so loud they'd end up off their game long enough for him to tear their throats out with a vibroknife?

Ben didn't even bother hiding the emotions from his face. Rand rolled his eyes and let out an annoyed noise.

"You think I'm full of shit!" The ex-Sith assassin claimed.

"You literally walked around killing Jedi by thinking sexually explicit thoughts at them because you knew the Order was full of virgins who'd freak at it long enough for you to kill them," Ben stated bluntly.

Rand stared at him for several seconds before nodding.

"Touché, touché. Although, honestly, the real wonder was that no one else thought of it first."

Ben actually could concede that particular point. Regardless, they had more pressing matters. Crossing his arms, Ben glared.

"What do you want with Harry?" Ben demanded.

Rand looked at him innocently. This man was about as innocent as Severus Snape was nice to children. "I just wanted to meet the savior of the Wizarding World. A kid who can survive a Killing Curse, point blank? Isn't that amazing?" Rand sighed adoringly.

There were not many moments where Ben missed being corporeal. Ben honestly didn't mind being a spirit. Harry certainly did, but Ben? Ben couldn't even remember being alive properly, so not being able to touch things normally didn't affect him at all in the slightest.

Right now, he really wanted to hit Rand over the head, and he was lamenting his spiritual status.

"What side are you on? Jedi, or Sith?" Ben decided to go for another angle.

Rand blinked at the question before tossing his head back, a long, bitter laugh escaping his lips. "Jedi? Sith? Why would I join either side? I mean, seriously, what's the difference?" Rand chortled.

Ben raised an eyebrow. "The difference-"

"Jedi and Sith are two sides of the same coin. Religious fanatics, with too much power, squabbling over their beliefs while the rest of the Galaxy burns. The only difference is the Sith are more honest about what they want. The Jedi, though? They'll smile at you and grin, while mindraping you into subservience," Rand spat. "The Sith are point blank. For the most part, they don't beat around the bush. They crave destruction, and they make you know it. The Jedi are the same, only pretending to be better."

"... That's one dark delusion you've got there," Ben responded.

"Delusion?" Rand scoffed. "Take Revan, for example. Both the Jedi and the Sith did the exact same thing to a man who wanted to make his Galaxy a better place: they both mindraped him into submission and set him on the other side. It took him years to recover his true self, and the kicker? The Jedi Council could have fixed him, but instead, they decided to play around with his head the same way the Sith had to turn him into their personal weapon. There is no difference between the Jedi and Sith: just one large den of monsters."

"The Jedi serve the Light. The Sith serve only themselves."

"Ah, but that's the real question, isn't it? Who's 'Light' are the Jedi following?" Rand questioned.

Ben rolled his eyes.

"For someone opposed to Jedi philosophy, you seem determined to pull me into a morality debate."

"When Meetra Surik turned to Jedi Order for help following the horrors of the Mandalorian Wars, they cast her out. She was the only damn Jedi that returned to them, and, in her moment of need, they threw her out like yesterday's garbage. A decade later, she arrived to help pull the tattered remains of the Jedi Order back into place- and they responded by trying to kill her," Rand replied coldly. "I see no difference. Just men and woman with too much power. So no, I'm not a Jedi and I'm not a Sith. Both sides are shit. I serve only me."

Ben raised his eyebrows.

"If that doesn't sound like a Sith philosophy, I don't know what does."

Rand shrugged.

"Believe what you want," Rand said dismissively. "Where is Harry Potter? I'm sure you've moved him by now."

Ben's stance hardened. Not that it would do much considering he was incorporeal, but details.

"What do you want with him?"

Rand smiled.

"When we came here, to this fated land, we were told to rest and await the coming of the Chosen One, who would lead us to Salvation. And, at last, the Chosen One has returned."

"... Harry isn't your 'Chosen One'."

Rand tsked. "Why? Because it's 'too much pressure' to put on a single person?"

"Harry is a child, not some sort of Messiah," Ben snapped.

Rand crossed his arms.

"He is. His coming was long foretold. The Child of Prophecy. Or, haven't you hea-" Rand paused, titling his head to the side. Ben was about to go off on the other when he detected what had the other so alert.

Or rather, what didn't.

"It's too quiet," Rand spun.

Yes. Too quiet. Too quiet indeed. Remus Lupin didn't exactly live in a heavily populated area, but the fact that all background noise had slowly ceased was rather telling.

Ben cast out his senses, detecting the tell tale signs of Anti-Muggle wards going up, subtly discouraging people from coming near the area. That, and…

"Lucy. Oh great," Rand rolled his eyes. Then, he blinked. "Wait, how in the hell did he even find this place?"

"Lucy?" Ben repeated incredulously.

Rand looked back at him.

"Lucius Malfoy. Actually, this isn't the first time he's pulled shit like this. He somehow inexplicably managed to get to the Dursley's before Albus Dumbledore got the alert telling him Harry had left the premises."

Ben just barely managed to hide a wince. Ah. That one had, admittedly, been his fault. He'd managed to just barely interfere with the Warding spell Dumbledore had set to alert him if Harry ever left the premises. He hadn't been able to stop the damn thing from going off, but he had been able to delay the signal from getting to Dumbledore in time.

… Which had ended with Lucius Malfoy intercepting the signal.

Not that Ben would ever admit any of this out loud.

"He's probably doing what you're doing," Ben pointed out instead.

Rand turned to shoot him an incredulous look.

"He snuck into the Ministry to dig into the head of an Azkaban escapee on the off chance he might know the location of Harry Potter?"

"He suspected Remus Lupin might have more information than what he was telling, and, since he works directly for the Ministry, most likely managed to find records of Lupin's home address, which he would have had to register the second he acquired it," Ben corrected.

Rand considered this before nodding.

"True, true… So, what should do about twinkles?" Rand jutted a finger in Lucius' general direction.

The Aristocrat had yet to enter their view, and Ben was convinced the man, who was accustomed to large manors and homes, was having a hard time navigating through regular streets.

Ben glanced back at Remus' flat behind him.

"... How good are you with Fallanassi Illusions?"