A/N: lol this is so old. Its such a short one shot from like five years ago.

Also, I miss shugo chara.

(My ghost, where'd you go?

I can't find you in the bodies sleeping next to me)

:::::

To: Souma Kukai

From: Hoshina Utau

Hey Soccer freak! Ramen tomorrow at five, don't you dare be late again or I swear I'll kill you.

To: Hoshina Utau

From: Souma Kukai

Ha-ha. Guess I can't keep you waiting then can I?

It's cold and wet and Utau just wants to go home

It's one in the morning when she receives the phone call from Amu.

She was going to change into her cute hello kitty pyjamas as she was getting ready for bed, she had been brushing her teeth and ignoring her phone that had been ringing from her bedroom.

She really wished she hadn't.

It's cold and wet and Utau just wants to go home

Her blonde hair is mangled and a bird's nest and she's in hysterics as she ignores the speed limits and races down the road, swerving the wheel of her car and parking it in a haste. Her mind is too far gone and she barely remembers to turn the ignition off and yank her keys out before she swings the door open and stumbles out.

Her eyes are wide and wild and she ignores her brazen exit for now and the fact that her car isn't even correctly parked and tugs at her jacket while rushing towards a street. She is getting absolutely soaked in the rain water because her umbrella decides to be utterly useless with the harsh winds but she seems to finally get it into a position protecting her face before pulling out a key with cold, shaking fingers and pushes open the front door.

The lingering odour of cigarette smoke clouded the small living room. The only sound that could be heard was the television, still on and playing in the background.

The sound almost comforts her.

She's tired. So, so very tired. But there's an ash tray that's caked in cigarette dust and a half eaten cheese sandwich just laying on the coffee table.

Utau collapses her umbrella, panting and absentmindedly twirls off the raindrops before shoving it into the stand provided besides the front door before slamming it shut. She doesn't bother with the effort in untying her shoe laces and makes her way through the empty beer cans scattered across the wooden floor, most of which are admittedly hers.

She's cold and its one forty eight on a Wednesday morning. She has a trigonometry exam tomorrow and her grades are already lower than the titanic. She shouldn't be here and she wants nothing more than to go home and just forget.

Her eyes are red and bloodshot and she's using all of her willpower not to collapse as she staggers up the stairs.

The room is dark and reeks of cigarettes and alcohol but it's understandable and she's so terribly accustomed to it that she almost doesn't notice it but instead kicks off her sneakers and shrugs off her jacket because finally there is a room in this damned household that miraculously has heating on and it's warm and inviting and she finally feels somewhat comfortable.

Her eyebrows furrow as she sniffs rather loudly. She thinks to herself that she is in desperate need of a tissue but ignores it for now and pulls back the duvet to reveal an empty bed, but she knows. She knows, she knows, she knows.

The bed is empty and suddenly the room isn't as warm and comforting as it had been when she'd first arrived.

Utau chews on her bottom lip and her eyes make contact with the photo in a frame sitting on his desk.

It's of her and of him and she can feel her eyes tearing up because this is just so wrong. So, so very wrong because Kukai is sunshine and cheesy jokes. He's cultivated but is somehow always dishevelled and he's hugs and kisses and ice cream in the winter and warm.

He's warm

But it's one forty nine in the morning and she's left him alone on a hospital bed two miles south because she's stubborn and scared and alone.

And he honestly doesn't deserve this because she's the brat. She's the bitch who takes everything for granted. She's rude and arrogant and is the one to always start the fights. Her shoulders are now shaking because how could the world possibly be so unfair?

With a strangled sob her knees give out and she collapses onto the ground, bringing her hands up to cover her face.

She can't face him because she is weak and a coward but she knew. The logical part of her brain knew but even so she can't stop reality and she's not even trying to stop the waterworks because she'd brought it upon herself in the first place.

She laughed bitterly, pulling out her smartphone from her jacket pocket after feeling the vibrations and just breaks down.

It's cold, and wet and Utau just wants to go home.

To Hoshina Utau

From Souma Kukai

Sorry. Guess I can't make it for ramen tomorrow after all, eh idol?

:::::

(Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna' reset)