Chapter 1 - "Welcome Home"

So this is the first of many one-shots I have been working on and will be working on centered around Luke and Lorelai. This one is based around the time that Christopher and Lorelai broke up in season 7 and after Liz and TJ stayed at Luke's apartment.

In this story, Lorelai is in New York City on business and runs into an unlikely person who may finally push her back in the right direction. Will this blast from her past be able to help her find her way back to Luke?

Each one-shot will be named after a song title. This one is "Welcome Home" by Radical Face. I will post the lyrics of the songs too. They are some of my favorite songs that often remind me of Luke and Lorelai!

"Welcome Home" By Radical Face

Sleep don't visit, so I choke on sun
And the days blur into one
And the backs of my eyes hum with things I've never done
Sheets are swaying from an old clothesline
Like a row of captured ghosts over old dead grass
Was never much but we made the most
Welcome home
Ships are launching from my chest
Some have names but most do not
If you find one, please let me know what piece I've lost
Heal the scars from off my back
I don't need them anymore
You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars
I've come home
All my nightmares escaped my head
Bar the door, please don't let them in
You were never supposed to leave
Now my head's splitting at the seams
And I don't know if I can
Here, beneath my lungs, I feel your thumbs press into my skin again

Lorelai walked out of her hotel room and out into the hallway. It had been a very long day meeting with investors and partners for the Inn. The whole day she tried to ignore the fact that the last time she was in New York City was with Luke and it had been such a happy time. Now he hated her, and she and Chris had broken up. And nothing in life made much sense.

But it didn't matter...she was Lorelai Gilmore which meant she had to keep pushing forward no matter how much it hurt. She moved on and plastered a smile on her face no matter what life threw at her. It's just what she did.

With a sigh, she walked onto the busy sidewalk of the city and tried to figure out what to do for dinner. Her stomach was growling, but she didn't know much about the area she was in. Her mind was reeling with a thousand thoughts as it so often did, especially these days. She tried to stay focussed on the task at hand but found it difficult to do until she heard someone call her name.

"Lorelai?" They called again, her name wasn't one you heard often so she snapped out of her daze to see that the person standing beside her was none other than Jess Mariano.

Her mouth hung open for a moment before she answered, "Jess?"

He tried to smile, "Fancy meeting you here…"

She glanced around, suddenly remembering where she was. "Oh. Wow. Hi. Um...yeah I'm here on business…"

Jess nodded, "Rory said the Inn was doing well in her last letter."

Her face softened, "You write to each other?"

Jess shrugged, "From time to time...just to keep in touch. Nothing big...she sends me articles from Yale. I send her some of my work."

Lorelai nodded, "She let me read some of your stuff. Very impressive."

Jess blushed, "Yeah well…" He cleared his throat, "So um...you look a little lost."

Lorelai laughed nervously, "Like a fish out of water, huh?" She took a deep breath, "I just finished up a bunch of meetings. I'm starving...but don't know where to go."

Jess stared at her for a moment, they had always had a complicated relationship. And the fact that she was now the ex-fiance of his Uncle only made things more complicated. But something about their chance encounter made him think this was supposed to happen.

"Well...I was just headed out for a bite to eat too. You uh...wanna join me? I know some good spots that I am sure would be Gilmore approved." He said with a smirk, "I assume you still have an iron stomach?"

Lorelai laughed, "I do…"

He shrugged and started to walk down the sidewalk, "Well come on then...the city awaits us."

Lorelai felt a nervous sensation in the pit of her stomach. She had never gotten along well with Jess...they had always butted heads. And these days, anyone and anything that reminded her of Luke was completely off limits. But the idea of being alone in this big city felt terrifying and depressing so her feet began to move to follow him.

Once they reached their destination, Jess waved at the man behind the bar. The place was packed, but somehow they managed to get a table in the corner and drinks were brought over soon after.

Lorelai raised an eyebrow, impressed by the quick service. "Well...you must know someone."

Jess shrugged, "The owner is a buddy of mine. I come in a lot. Burgers are great...pizza is good too. Order whatever you want. It's on me."

Lorelai shook her head, "No way Jess. I can't-"

"I have probably done about 1,000 things to make you hate me...let me do something nice." Jess said with a smirk.

Lorelai laughed, "Uh...okay?"

They glanced at their menus quietly for a few moments before the waiter came to take their orders. They exchanged nervous looks and Lorelai finally found the courage to speak again.

"You know...just for the record I never really hated you." She said honestly.

Jess took a sip of his beer and smirked again, "You sure about that?"

Lorelai sighed and put the menu down, "I uh...I admit that I wasn't always the nicest to you."

"You were fine...just protecting Rory. I get it." He said, "And in the end you were right...I hurt her. One of my biggest regrets…"

Lorelai swallowed hard, "The thing is...you reminded me a lot of myself. That's why I didn't like you…"

Jess narrowed his eyes at her, "What do you mean?"

She shrugged sadly, "Rebellious teen searching for some meaning in life? Dude...I practically wrote the book on that subject."

Jess laughed, "Huh…never looked at it that way."

"I just...I knew myself at that age...I knew that it didn't matter who was in my path. I was angry all the time and sad...and confused...and I did a lot of stupid things that hurt people. And I didn't want Rory to be in that path…" Lorelai said sadly.

Jess nodded slowly, "But she was…"

"My story ended in teen pregnancy and running away from home. As much as I love Rory...I didn't want that for her." Lorelai said sadly.

Jess nodded, "You wanted her to have more."

They sat quietly for a moment, before Lorelai spoke again. "I don't think you are a bad person. I think you were dealt a bad hand at an early age...and you were just searching for something…"

Jess smirked, "You're right...I was searching for something."

"Thought you found it in Rory…" Lorelai said with a smile, "I know you loved her."

Jess looked down at his hands, "I did…"

"You were young. You both were." Lorelai said with a shrug, "Things happen…" The heat rose in her cheeks and she wondered when or if he would bring up his Uncle.

Jess seemed to sense her nervousness and held off pursuing that, for the first time ever they were being civil to one another. "Yeah. I guess. I still regret the way I handled things. She deserved better…"

Lorelai licked her lips, "Well it's nice that you still talk sometimes...it shows that what you had was real."

Jess nodded slowly, "Yeah...I guess it does."

"I know that she is really proud of you. Your Mom is too…" Her face flushed as she glanced down unable to look at him as she spoke, "And Luke…"

Jess stared at her, trying to read her expression, "He calls from time to time. Sends back every check I try and send to him as a thank you."

Lorelai felt the tears burning in her eyes, as she continued to avoid his gaze "Sounds about right…"

"Lorelai…" Jess started to speak but she shook her head in response.

"I am sure you know everything that happened. And if you don't...you probably still hate me." She said with a laugh, "And I don't blame you because I hate myself."

Jess was quiet, trying to think of what to say to her. "I heard you and Rory's Dad didn't work out…"

Lorelai licked her lips, surprised by his statement she shook her head. "No. We didn't."

"There has to be a reason for that…" Jess said as he rubbed his beer bottle between his palms studying her carefully.

Lorelai smiled sadly, "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

Jess raised his beer and shrugged before challenging her, "Doesn't it?"

Lorelai opened her mouth to speak but their food came, she glance down at the large burger in front of her and suddenly didn't feel so hungry anymore. "Even if it did…" She started to whisper but quickly lost her voice.

Jess chewed on a fry for a moment, "So since we are being so honest...you want to know what I think?"

Lorelai grimaced, "I don't really have a choice, do I?"

Jess laughed, "Guess not. I am paying…" She nodded slowly and he shifted in his seat. "I think you and my Uncle are idiots."

Lorelai's eyes widened, "Excuse me?"

He smirked, "I'm serious. From the minute I got sent to Stars Hollow I knew there was something there between you two but you both pretended there wasn't. It was like watching a damn soap opera. And then...I come back for my Mom's wedding and he was a nervous wreck. Trying to figure out what tie to wear and actually caring about his clothes…" He laughed, "I knew he finally found the courage to ask you out…"

Lorelai's face flushed and her heart was pounding in her chest. "Jess…"

"And I saw you guys dancing at the wedding. First time I saw Uncle Luke smile in a long time...hadn't seen that since I was a kid." He reached for his beer again, "And then I heard you were together and I thought...it's about damn time."

She swallowed hard, "I don't know how it all got so screwed up."

Jess smiled, "Well my family has never been great at talking...we can yell at each other about anything...but talking about real issues...not our forte."

Lorelai laughed, "Not the Gilmore way either…"

Jess nodded, "You still love him?" He asked as hit casually bit into another fry.

Her face flushed again, "Jess...I don't know if we should be talking about this."

Jess smiled, "Just humor me. You were always pushing me when it came to Rory…" He shrugged, "Luke is my Uncle so I want to know...do you still love him?"

She let out a ragged breath, "Very much so. But he hates me...and he should. I made sure he would so that it would be over."

"Total destruction of the self…" He smirked, "You and I have that down...guess we are more alike than I realized."

Lorelai snorted and rolled her eyes, "Sadly we are."

Jess was quiet as he bit into his burger, "You gonna eat?"

Lorelai glanced down at the plate in front of her, "I…"

"I know you. You love food. Eat." Jess said with a laugh, "But doesn't mean I'm gonna stop asking questions."

Lorelai laughed and picked up her burger, she took a bite, "Hm...even New York City can't beat a Luke's Burger."

"But only if Luke cooks them. Cesar always overcooked them...too dry." Jess said through a mouthful of food.

Lorelai nodded, "I totally agree. And his pancakes weren't as fluffy."

Jess smiled and decided to push her again, "I bet the quality of the food has gone down in the last few months…"

Lorelai sighed and put her burger down again, "Jess...I just...what difference does it make if we talk about this? It's not going to change anything…"

Jess was quiet, "My Mom sent me a picture of Luke and Doula...he looked good holding a baby. I haven't gotten over the fact that my Mom gave my only sibling such a terrible name...but I'm hoping Luke's influence can help her out."

Lorelai's eyes burned with tears, "I'm sure he's great with her. He's great with April and he was always amazing with Rory."

"April…" Jess nodded slowly and reached for his beer, "Interesting kid. Hard to believe she's Luke's sometimes. But the few times I have seen them together...they seem comfortable."

Lorelai raised an eyebrow as she picked at a french fry, "I wouldn't really know. I never saw them together much…"

Jess put a hand up and the waiter came over, "Can we have another round of drinks? I think we're gonna need them…"

Lorelai grimaced, "I think maybe I should go…"

Jess put his hand up, "You need to eat."

Lorelai sighed and looked down at her hands in her lap, "Jess...I appreciate what you are trying to do but…" She swallowed hard and looked up, "What is it that you want me to say? I told you that I loved Luke. I will always love him. But...I don't think we can ever get past everything. We both made stupid mistakes and it's too much…"

The silence between them lasted a few moments until a new round of beers was placed in front of them. Jess watched her take a long, regretful gulp of her beer and he saw the tears brimming in her eyes.

"You said we were alike...rebellious teens who were looking for something." He lifted his own beer in his hands, "Did you ever find it?"

Lorelai smiled sadly, "I thought I did…" She took a deep breath, "With Luke…"

Jess nodded, "Well let me give you a bit of advice." He leaned his elbows against the table, "Don't do what I did...don't walk away from the thing that you were searching for...fight for it. You might be surprised to learn that he may actually let you in this time…"

"Jess…" Lorelai whispered in an emotional voice, "How could he forgive me?"

"Because I'm pretty damn sure he still loves you too." Jess said leaning back in his seat again he said in a clear voice.

Lorelai shook her head, "I don't think he does...how could he?"

Jess smiled and reached into his jacket pocket, "Got a letter this week...Rory isn't the only one I write too." He took out a piece of paper and handed it to her, "I think you'll find it to be pretty interesting."

Lorelai's hands shook as she reached up to take the paper, "I don't know…"

Jess shook his head, "Finish your dinner. You can read it later."

Lorelai's hands continued to shake as she placed the letter in her bag. She looked over at Jess who was digging into his dinner once again. Her heart was doing flip flops in her chest but she tried to remain calm. If anyone would have told her that she would be sitting here with Jess Mariano talking about Luke Danes...she would have thought they were crazy. And yet in the continuing roller coaster that was her life...here she was.

"So...maybe you can help me come up with a nickname for Doula. It's gotta be something cool. Cuz I refuse to call her that…" Jess said with a smile hoping to pull her out of her daze.

Lorelai cleared her throat and nodded, "Oh I agree. She has to keep up with her brother's reputation."

Jess smirked, "I fully plan on buying her a leather jacket for her first birthday."

Lorelai laughed, "I bet she'll look adorable."

Jess lifted his beer, "And baddass."

Lorelai laughed again and shook her head as they fell into a comfortable conversation. They talked about Stars Hollow and all it's memorable residents. They talked about the Inn, Rory graduating from Yale and even Jess's recent accomplishments. They slowly realized they were a lot more alike than they had ever realized before.

Later that night, the tab was paid by Jess much to Lorelai's displeasure. And then he walked her back to her hotel. They stood awkwardly for a few moments unsure of what to say next.

Jess smiled, "So...do me a favor and make sure that Andrew has my novel stocked, would ya?" He teased.

Lorelai laughed, "I'm pretty sure Rory bought every copy he did have. You might need to send him some more."

He smirked, "I'll try and remember that."

Lorelai stared at him for a moment, "So...why did you do this? Take me out to dinner...make me talk about Luke? I thought you didn't like me either…"

Jess laughed and looked around, "It wasn't that I didn't like you. I was afraid of you. You saw through me...and I didn't like that."

Lorelai nodded, "I can understand that…"

He shrugged, "And...Luke has done a hell of a lot for me. And I worry about him...I want him to be happy. And you seem to make him happy."

She sighed sadly, "Not anymore…"

"Maybe not now. But I think you could...if you both just got your heads out of your asses." Jess said with a smart smile.

Lorelai's eyes widened, "I forgot how bold you can be."

"But you can take it." Jess said with a laugh, "You were never one to back down to me."

"And I never will be." She said with a slow nod before looking out at the busy city, "So...you really think that we could...that he would-"

Jess nodded towards her bag, "Read the letter...and decide for yourself." He shrugged and reached into his pocket again, "But do me one favor?"

She nodded, "Sure. What is it?"

He handed her a check, "When you get back to Stars Hollow...go into the Diner." She opened her mouth to protest but he pushed on, "And give Luke this check. Tell him if he doesn't deposit it this time I will pay him in cash at some point."

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Jess…"

He smiled, "Remember what I said...don't walk away from the thing you were searching for. Fight for it."

She watched him start to walk away, "Jess…"

"Goodnight Miss Gilmore…" He said turning to give her a slight wave as he walked down the sidewalk.

Lorelai sighed and glanced down at the check in her hands. She looked up again but by that time Jess was nowhere in sight. She turned, walked back into the hotel and made her way to the 10th floor to her room. She threw her bag on the bed and pretended that her head wasn't swimming with the thought of the letter there or that her heart wasn't doing flip flops.

She distracted herself by taking a quick shower, brushing her teeth and dressing for bed. She crawled into bed, flipped on the TV and tried to pretend she was interested in whatever reality TV show was playing on the screen. But finally she couldn't take it anymore and she flipped off the TV, grabbed her bag and quickly extracted the letter.

She stared at the folded piece of paper for a few moments trying to will herself to breath. With a sigh, she unfolded it and felt her heart jump when she saw his familiar writing. It made her think of quick notes on order pads that he would often slide to her during the lunch and breakfast rush. Sometimes silly, sometimes making plans for their date that night. She had kept some of those notes, at least until they broke up. Then they were packed away with everything else and given to Rory to throw away. Now she was regretting that…

Finally she calmed herself enough to begin to read his familiar writing.

Jess
You have to stop sending me that damn check. I won't deposit it. Use it on something useful. I don't need it. If you send it back...I'll just rip it up this time.

Your Mom said you sent a big box of toys for Doula. She was pretty excited about that, couldn't stop smiling. She hopes you will visit soon...and so do I. They had to stay at the apartment for a few nights...something about moths in their house. It was interesting...Doula and your Mom were fine. TJ was...well he was TJ.

And it seems like you and your Mom have more in common than you think. How many times did you bring up Lorelai in your last letter? You should just like Liz. She brings her up at every chance she can get. The other night I heard her and TJ talking about how they thought we could make it work if we found the right wormhole...whatever that means.

I'm sure you have heard, either through Rory or your Mom that Lorelai isn't with him anymore. I don't know any of the details and quite frankly...I'm not sure I want to know. I won't pretend I wasn't happy when I heard the news. Selfishly I wanted to go punch him again but I won't. I don't know what it means, but lately we have been friendlier. It's still awkward and uncomfortable but not as bad as it was.

Who knows...maybe your Mom is right. Maybe we need to find the right wormhole to make it work. I don't know how that works...or if she even wants that. But I guess I can't pretend I haven't hoped that there was a chance for us again. Maybe someday...but for now I just want her to be happy. Whatever it means for her to be happy is what she deserves and I hope that she finds it.

Anyway...next time April is in town maybe we will head up to New York to visit if you are up for it. I'll give you a call sometime next week. Remember what I said...don't send the check back. And take care of yourself.

Luke

Lorelai didn't try to fight the tears that burned in her eyes. They fell freely and she let herself fully feel the pain she had been trying to suppress for almost a year. He wanted her to be happy. Once upon a time he had been the one to make her happy...and she wanted to believe that he could make her happy again. She curled into a ball, slid under the covers and let herself cry all the tears she had been holding in for far too long.

She just wondered if that wormhole Luke mentioned was getting any closer to them. She really hoped it was.

The following day, Lorelai began her journey back to Connecticut. She took the train back to New Haven going over and over in her mind everything that had gone wrong in her relationship with Luke. Every single detail made her head spin, but she had to face it if she was ever going to find that happiness again. When she got in her Jeep and started the journey back to Stars Hollow the day was coming to a close and her nervous energy was taking over her body.

It was a Wednesday night which meant the town was pretty quiet. She was thankful for that as she pulled her car into the Alley behind the Diner. She let herself glance in the window and noticed that currently the only customer was Kirk. She smiled to herself thinking it was only natural that he would be there to witness this. Whether Luke told her to leave or maybe showed some sign of forgiveness, Kirk should be the one to witness it.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and heard the familiar jingle above her head. Her heart rate sped up as he looked up from behind the Counter and she saw him swallow hard when he saw her.

"Oh...hey…" He said awkwardly looking around, "Um...I was just closing up. But...I think there's more coffee in the pot if you-"

"No. I'm okay…" She said trying to keep her hands from shaking, she turned towards Kirk and smiled nervously, "Hi Kirk."

Kirk studied her for a moment, "Hello Lorelai."

"How are you?" She asked Kirk, still unable to look back at Luke.

"Can't complain. I get the best seats in the house now that you aren't around." Kirk said quickly.

"Geez Kirk…" Luke said with an eyeroll, "Eat your sandwich and get out."

"But I wanted desert." Kirk said with a frown, "You said you'd make me mudpie!"

Luke groaned, "Kirk…"

Lorelai couldn't help but smile, "You should make him mud pie...I don't want to interrupt. He is a paying customer after all."

Luke stared at her for a moment, "Um...okay?" He glanced at the coffee pot again, "You sure you don't want a cup?"

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Well one cup wouldn't hurt would it?" She asked as she walked on shaking legs to the counter and sat down in her usual spot.

Luke couldn't help but smirk, "Depends on how many cups you've had today."

Lorelai put a hand on her chin and pretended to think, "Only about 50. Maybe 51." She said with a little laugh.

Luke pretended to roll his eyes as he poured the cup, "How has it not rotted your insides?"

Lorelai smiled, "Iron stomach…" She responded, thinking of Jess's words from the night before.

Luke nodded slowly and placed the cup in front of her, "They should do studies on you. Write a movie...people would be fascinated."

Lorelai laughed as she lifted the cup to her lips, "I highly doubt it." She took a sip and sighed happily, "Man that's good…"

Luke studied her for a moment, "So…"

She quickly snapped out of her daze, it felt so wonderful to feel comfortable with him again. They seemed to fall back into old habits and she wished it would be as easy as that. But she knew better...and suddenly the nerves were back in full force.

"Oh. Um...I have something for you." She reached into her bag and pulled out the check, "I was told to give this to you. And if you don't take it he said he'll just deliver it in cash."

Luke looked at her curiously as he took the check from her, realization and then confusion registered on his face. "This damn check. You saw Jess?"

Lorelai nodded and glanced down at her cup again, "I was in the city for some meetings. Last night I was heading out to get dinner and somehow he noticed me in the midst of all that city chaos."

Luke snorted as he looked at the check, "Of course he noticed you. You are pretty noticeable even in large grounds."

She swallowed hard, not sure what he meant. "Um...anyway." She glanced at him slowly and then back down at her hands holding her cup, "He took me to dinner actually. It was nice. He's grown up a lot."

Luke stared at her, mouth open as he registered what she was saying. "You had dinner? With Jess? You and Jess had dinner?"

Lorelai laughed at his shock, "I know...an unlikely pair. We weren't the best of friends."

Luke snorted, "That's putting it mildly."

Lorelai grimaced, "Yeah well...we came to the conclusion that we had a lot more in common than we ever realized."

Luke narrowed his eyes at her, "What do you mean?"

Lorelai sighed and put her coffee down, "I never hated Jess, Luke. I was terrified of him. He reminded me of myself...young and angry. Desperately searching for something...anything to hold on to. When I was his age I was hell bent on destruction...and it didn't matter who was in my path. I was afraid Rory would be in the way...so I was defensive when it came to him. I was to harsh...and I'm sorry for that."

Luke swallowed hard, "I guess I never thought of it that way…"

She nodded slowly and couldn't help but laugh, "But I guess my desire for self destruction didn't disappear after my teen years. I seem to still be lighting fires wherever I go and no matter who is in the way."

She only dared to meet his eyes for a moment but saw sorrow and regret reflected in his own. She blew out a shaky breath and shook her head as she tried to find her bearings. Jess had told her to fight...to not walk away from the thing that had made her happy. Luke had made her happy. Yes he had hurt her too...but she wanted to believe that somehow...someway they could find their way back to where they once were. They just had to find the right wormhole…

So she pushed on despite the fear in her heart, "Jess is a good kid. He's made a life for himself...and he did that on his own…" She shrugged, "And with your help. Again...like me."

Luke looked down at the counter, "Lorelai…"

"I want you to know that I am sorry Luke. I am so sorry for hurting you...and not just recently...but for every stupid thing I ever did to hurt you. Our fight after Jess and Rory got into that accident...or when I was rude to you about Nicole. I could go on and on and saying sorry will never make up for any of it." She paused and felt the tears welling up in her eyes, "You deserved better...and I'm sorry. You will never know how sorry I am."

Luke sighed, "Lorelai…

She shook her head and reached into her bag and took out the letter that Jess had given her, "He showed me this…" Luke's eyes widened when he saw his familiar writing, "You want me to be happy…" He stared at her as if to challenge her and she went on, "You made me happy Luke. At one time...you made me so happy. And then...then it all started falling apart. And I know that I never should have given you an ultimatum...but I was so scared and I just snapped. And I pushed you to hard...and then I…" Her voice cracked and she turned away, "I'm sorry. I just...I'm so sorry."

She looked up again and saw that his face was hard and unreadable. And suddenly she was back to that night begging him to marry her, to love her, to finally choose her. And now the rejection hit her full force and her fear took hold and won the battle again.

She sighed, "I'm sorry. I should go. Kirk needs his pie." She turned and briefly glanced at Kirk who looked glued to their conversation.

She thought her heart was going to burst out of her chest as she made her way to the door, she turned the knob and heard the bells jingle before she heard him. "Don't go."

Her body froze and for a moment she thought she was only imagining things. She waited patiently for a sign that what she had heard was real. It took a moment but then she heard him shuffling around the counter, she heard a chair scraping on the floor.

"Luke! What about my mud pie?" Kirk yelled as he pushed him towards the door.

"I'll make you two tomorrow Kirk." Luke grumbled as he shoved Kirk out the crack of the door that Lorelai had opened.

She watched him lock the door, flip to the closed sign and pull the shades down before turning back to her. "Lorelai…"

She sighed and let the dam break, "Why didn't you want me around April? Did you not think I was good enough to be around her? Did you not trust me? What did I do wrong?"

Luke sighed and shook his head, "Lorelai…"

"I tried...I tried to tell you that I was unhappy in Martha's Vineyard. I thought you heard me. But then we came back and it went right back to what it was before. And I tried so hard to hold on for both of us Luke but I was losing the battle everyday. And after our first break up...I was worried that if I kept bringing things up you'd leave me again. And then that night...I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to know if you loved me or not...I needed to know if you wanted to marry me. Because I didn't think you did." She said shaking her head, "And then you said no…"

"I didn't say no." Luke said shaking his head quickly, "I never said that."

"You said nothing. I mean you said you needed time but Jesus Luke...how much time did you need?" Lorelai said feeling anger bubble up inside her.

Luke groaned and gestured towards his head angrily, "I needed to sort it all out in my head."

"You were doing that for months!" Lorelai yelled, "Nothing was changing. We weren't making plans. You were pulling away while I was holding on for dear life. I felt like some worthless object in your life that you had just cast away on a whim without a second thought."

He shook his head again, "It wasn't like that…"

"But it's what it felt like." Lorelai said sadly, "I remember one night...it had been so long since we spent any real time together. And you surprised me by coming over after work...and I was so happy. And we...we slept together and I kept telling myself that it was getting better. And then you just...when it was over...when we were done…" She wiped at her eyes, "You rolled over, kissed my cheek and said you were heading back to the Diner because you had to get up so early. And I was sitting there thinking...is this how it will be when we are married? Will he still live there? I felt so used...and I just lay there all night trying to wrap my head around it all. And I couldn't…"

Luke grimaced, "Loreali...I'm so sorry. I didn't...God I'm an idiot. I got so wrapped up in my own head. It was all too much for me to handle…"

"But I wanted to help you." Lorelai said with a sad smile, "I wanted to help you figure it all out. We were supposed to spend our life together Luke. People who are married deal with things together...they find a way to fix problems together. But you wouldn't let me...and it tore us apart. I know I made mistakes...but we were broken way before that."

Luke sighed and turned to drop into Kirk's now empty chair, "I think I knew that. Deep down I could see it...but I didn't want to believe it. I had wanted us for so long...and so I told myself that it was fine. I told myself that I was doing the right thing but I knew I wasn't. And then that night...when you walked away…" He sighed and looked up at her with a defeated look on his face, "I didn't think it was forever…"

She sighed and sat across from him, "When you didn't come after me...I needed it to be forever because I was hurting so damn much."

"So you went to him…" Luke said through gritted teeth, "Because you knew that would kill me."

She bowed her head sadly and shook her head, "I honestly had no intention of…" She sighed, "I didn't go there for that...I just needed to talk to someone who knew me."

"So you couldn't talk to Rory? Sookie? Pretty sure they would have been better choices than him." He said angrily.

She nodded, "You're right...I don't know why I did it. I just needed...I had to get out of here. I couldn't go back to the house knowing that we were done."

"I didn't know we were done." Luke said pointing his finger at his chest. "It wasn't over for me."

She sighed, "I needed it to be over. I couldn't take anymore Luke...I made a selfish decision and I have lived with that since then but…" She shook her head, "I am sorry. Whether you believe that or not...I am."

Luke took a deep breath, "Why did you marry him?"

She sighed and leaned against the table, "Because I couldn't have you. And...he was there. He wanted me...he wasn't afraid to tell me how he felt like you were. And I needed that...but I didn't love him. And I am a jackass because I not only hurt you but hurt him too."

"He should have known that you weren't in any condition to be jumping into a relationship...let alone a marriage." Luke said with raised eyebrows, "That's on him."

She shrugged, "Yeah. You're right...and he did know. He probably saw it as the perfect opportunity to make a move because I was vulnerable. But he probably thought at some point I would get over you…"

He paused and let her words sink in, "But...you didn't?"

Lorelai looked up at him, and took a deep breath before answering honestly. "Of course not. And I don't think I ever will."

When he didn't say anything her heart began to sink to her stomach again and she wanted to scream. She wanted to fight like Jess had told her too, and she felt like she had been since she had walked into the Diner. But now he wasn't speaking again, and it felt like he was pushing her away. She couldn't take it, she could take him yelling and accusing her of things...but she couldn't take the crushing silence.

She shook her head and let the small sob escape her hips before she lifted herself up off the chair. She opened the door quickly but heard it slam shut again, she jumped and turned to see him standing behind her.

"You read the letter?" He asked quietly as he looked directly at her with such intensity she felt the heat rise from her toes to the top of her head.

She nodded slowly and wiped at her tears to try and make her vision more clear, "Yes...I read the letter."

Luke nodded slowly, "Liz says we need to find the right wormhole...I don't really know what it means. I think maybe...she means we need to get on the same page at the same time. Because when I think about it...we never really were. Even after we got engaged...Rory was gone and you were upset and I was trying to plan the wedding for us...and then April showed up and you were ready and I wasn't...so I pushed you away."

She sniffled, "Yeah...I guess you are right."

"I want to be on the same page. I want to find our wormhole." Luke said quickly, "I'm sorry. Yes you hurt me...but I pushed you to your breaking point and I'm sorry for that. I never wanted to be the guy that hurt you...and I realize that I hurt you a lot more than I wanted to admit. You deserved better. I could have done better and I didn't. And I'm just...I'm so sorry Lorelai."

Her heart was racing, her head was spinning and she felt like her knees would give out at any moment, "Luke…"

He seemed to sense her body and mind were failing her, so he grabbed her hands to steady her. "I don't know how...but I want to fix this. I want to try...because I've regretted letting you walk way for a year now. And I don't want to have anymore regrets Lorelai…"

She licked her lips and she glanced from their joined hands to his face, "I don't either."

Luke nodded slowly and tried to smile, "So...we both want the same thing...at least I think. We want...to try and fix this?"

Lorelai lifted her head slowly, "Yes. But how-

He shook his head, "Don't ask how yet...just tell me if you want this or not…that's all I need to know right now."

She let out a shaky breath, and nodded enthusiastically. "God yes. Yes of course I want this Luke. I want us...I love you."

He nodded slowly and stepped closer to her, "Well good...because I love you too." He cracked a smile, "Looks like we may have found our wormhole…"

"Luke…" She mumbled before his lips crashed to hers, her knees buckled underneath her and she fell against him.

But he caught her, he held her in his strong arms and pulled her up against him. She gasped slightly as she pulled away, only enough to catch her breath before he pulled her in again. When he finally lessened his grip and allowed her to step back, he watched as her eyes fluttered open slowly and she steadied herself by holding his forearms.

"Lorelai?" He whispered trying to read her expression.

Her lips slowly curved into a small smile, "You definitely have to send that check back to Jess. And if he refuses it...I'll write one for him. He deserves all the money in the world right now."

Luke chuckled, "Yeah. I'll have to thank him in person next time I see him."

Lorelai nodded in response and then lifted her hand to her lips as her smile faltered slightly, "Luke...I'm scared."

He nodded slowly and stepped closer to her, "So am I. But...we'll figure it out. We have too. I'm not a fan of life without you…"

She stepped closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist, "Feeling is mutual." She breathed him in and then her eyes fluttered open and she couldn't help but laugh, "I think Kirk is stuck to your window…"

Luke looked over the top of her head and groaned, "I'll peel him off in the morning…"

"In the morning?" She whispered as she pulled away hopefully.

Luke smiled and flipped the flights, "You really think I'm letting you out of my sight? Give you a chance to change your mind? No way...you're staying here Gilmore."

She smiled as he pulled her towards the staircase, "I can promise that I won't change my mind." She said soberly.

Luke nodded and grabbed the pot of coffee off the counter, "I'll take this to lock in that answer. I figure as long as I hold this...you'll follow me anywhere."

She smirked, "Even without it I would...but that is good insurance for you." She said with a wink as she tip toed up the stairs behind him.

Luke only chuckled and led her back to the apartment and back into his life. Things weren't perfect. They had work to do. But at least they both knew what they wanted. They were finally on the same page and were willing to fight for it. They found their wormhole and there was no going back...they were finally home.

The chapters to follow will all be one-shots based around different times in the series. It won't go in order. It will just be posted when I finish a new one-shot. Some will follow an episode from the show and others will just be random ideas I got from listening to certain songs. Hope you enjoy!