Title: Brotherly Concern

Summary: Emmett and Jasper decided to gather some blackmail material on their seemingly perfect brother but are surprised to overhear a shocking conversation!

It was early in the morning in the Cullen household and Isabella Swan was rudely awaken by a loud crash downstairs. She jolted awake and sat up, her heart thudding in her chest, eyes wide open and looking around the room in astonishment.

"Sorry, Bella," Alice said apologetically, appearing at the door.

"That's okay. I was intending to wake up early today anyway. What happened?" Bella yawned, getting out of bed and reaching for a change of clothes.

Alice shrugged. "Emmett and Jasper were just teasing Edward a bit and you know how the boys get."

Bella chuckled knowingly before heading to the bathroom.

Downstairs, Emmett and Jasper were howling with laughter as their pissed off brother glared at them. A few feet away, a damaged flat screen was smashed against the wall.

"Aww, Eddie-boy, don't be so mad," Emmett choked out between guffaws.

"We can't blame him, Em. He's just uptight since he's not getting laid. Oh wait, he's still a virgin!"

The pair burst out laughing once more.

If Edward was human, he would be absolutely red with angry but his expression was murderous as he grabbed Emmett's Xbox and hurled it at his infuriating brother.

"I would appreciate it if the two of you would refrain from making those crude comments!" he snapped.

"Emmett! Jasper! Stop disturbing your brother!" Esme chastised as she walked into the living room with her husband, who was also looking at the pair disapprovingly.

"Aww, we were just having some fun," the bulky vampire whined.

Rosalie appeared, looking as gorgeous as ever, and sighed at her husband's antics. "Emmett, Jasper, don't go stating the obvious. Edward doesn't like hearing the truth," she said, sending a sly look his way.

Edward bristled.

"Woo, way to go and rub the sand in the wound, babe! And you look beautiful today as always!" Emmett cheered.

"It's 'rubbing salt into the wound'! Not sand!" Edward growled irritably. "And you sure didn't think Rosalie was so beautiful yesterday when we were in town and there was an 'cute-looking blonde' girl in the bookstore."

Rosalie's eyes narrowed. "What?!"

Emmett gulped. "Wait, babe, it's not like that – "

The blonde snarled and stalked out.

"Edward!" Emmett wailed.

The man in speaking ignored his brother's distress.

"You shouldn't tease Edward if you don't want to be tattled on," Alice chided as she too appeared, kissing her husband's cheek.

"Hello, Alice," Japer murmured and reached out to pull her into an embrace but the small vampire danced away and gave him a mock-glare.

"You've been really mean to Edward just now, Jazz. I'm not going to touch you for the rest of the day as punishment," she declared and winked at her favourite brother before heading out, presumingly going after Rosalie.

Jasper stared in her direction in disbelief.

"Well, you two can stay here and repent," Esme said firmly.

"Where are you two going?" Emmett demanded.

"The hospital is holding a charity function this afternoon. Esme and I are going to town to Seattle to pick up some things before heading over," Carlisle said.

"Have fun," Edward called as the two got their jackets.

Esme pecked his cheek. "We will. And the two of you, be nice to Edward."

"Perfect Edward," Emmett muttered.

His mother glared at him. "You could do well to learn from Edward! And Jasper! I saw that! Don't roll your eyes at me!"

Jasper held his hands up, eyes wide in false innocence.

"Let's go, darling. Emmett, Jasper, do behave yourselves," Carlisle reproached.

The bulky man huffed but the former soldier sighed and nodded.

Feeling reassured, Carlisle and Esme left.

Edward returned to his piano and tried to remember the melody that was just forming before his brothers decided to make fun of him.

"Hey, Eddie! Why'd you say that to Rose just now?! You and I both know that wasn't what happened!" Emmett said angrily.

Edward rolled his eyes and ignored his brother. The truth was that the day before, Edward had wanted to head to the bookstore to see if there was anything new he would like to get for Bella who would come over in the evening. Emmett had insisted on coming along and while Edward was browsing, Emmett spotted a cute five-year-old reaching for a book high on the shelves. He got it for her and she thanked him happily before skipping off to her father. The big man had smiled and told Edward that she had a cute smile.

"Yeah, that was rather unfair of you. Now, Alice is mad at me too. And for no reason," Jasper frowned.

Edward continued to ignore them and tested out some keys he thought would fit but somehow, they didn't sound right.

"Hey Edward!" Emmett snapped, annoyed that the pianist was ignoring him.

Exasperated, the bronze-haired man slammed his hands down on the piano keys before whirling around to lash out at his brothers but a sound from upstairs made him freeze.

Bella, who had just finished showering, began to hum to herself while she got dressed.

"You know, I always thought you'd lightened up after getting your girl but you're even worse than before!" Emmett muttered. "You should ask your girl to relieve you of some of that tension!"

Edward balled his fists in anger. "I've had enough of your nonsense, Emmett!" he snarled and stormed upstairs to his room and the door slammed.

"He's so sensitive," Jasper sighed.

"Well, I'm pissed too! Let's go and hunt!" the bulky vampire glowered, stuffing his hands into his pockets and heading out. His blonde brother glanced upstairs but followed.

Meanwhile, Bella sat on the bed in Edward's room, toweling her hair, dressed in jeans and a simple t-shirt. She blinked in confusion when Edward came in, looking extremely frustrated.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

The man sighed and sank down on the bed beside her. "It's nothing. Just my brothers up to their usual tricks."

Bella smiled. "I think it's nice that you fight with your brothers."

Edward blinked. "What?"

"I always wanted a brother to argue with," she confessed, grinning sheepishly.

With that, Edward's anger towards his brothers dissipated and the corner of his mouth lifted. "Well, I suppose I'm lucky to have such annoying brothers."

Emmett growled and muttered under his breath.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "You're not really that angry at Edward anymore so why are you forcing yourself to be?"

The bear-like man glared at him. "Do you realise just how much groveling I'll have to do to get back in Rosalie's good looks?!"

"You mean books."

"Edward's so annoying sometimes," Emmett grumbled on. Then he suddenly perked up and Jasper looked at him warily, sensing his abrupt change in mood.

"What are you up to, Emmett?"

Emmett grinned at him. "Hey, do you happen to have any good dirt on him lately?"

Jasper frowned suspiciously but answered anyway. "No, Edward's always cautious around everyone. Well, everyone except Bella, that is."

The blonde jumped back when a big index finger jabbed his chest hard.

"That's just it! He only lets down his guard around Bella! That means he'll tell her all his weaknesses and other things that would make great blackmail material! We can probably hold it against me for years!" Emmett said eagerly.

"I promised Carlisle and Esme I'd behave though… Not to mention Alice would be really angry," Jasper said hesitatingly.

"C'mon, man, we're just gonna be eavesdropping! No harm done! Not immediately at least."

"Well… If you put it that way…"

"Yes! C'mon, let's go!" the bulky vampire cheered.

The two ran back towards the house.

"Remember to keep your mind blank," Jasper said as they neared their destination.

"I know, I know," Emmett muttered.

They could hear soft voices coming from inside as they jumped from tree to tree, trying to be as stealthy as possible as they neared Edward's room, keeping their minds as blank as possible so that Edward wouldn't pick up on anything.

"Edward's feeling overly affectionate right now. He might be too occupied with Bella to hear us, so I think it'll be safe for us to get really close to hear them clearly now," Jasper whispered.

Emmett gave him a thumbs up and the two crept closer between trees and the closer they got, the clearer the voices became.

"Ah! Isn't it too big?" came Bella's voice. She sounded slightly breathless and dismayed.

"It just looks big but this is actually quite normal," Edward was telling her.

Emmett's jaw dropped.

'What?!' he mouthed to his blonde brother who looked just as stunned.

"I don't think it's going to fit though…" Bella said hesitatingly.

"It'll be fine. Trust me, I've done this before," Edward reassured.

Jasper jumped backwards and hissed, "What's going on?!"

Emmett looked just as bewildered. "I don't know! Wasn't Eddie a virgin? What does he mean he's done it before? That rascal!"

"Aaahhh! It's going to spill! Edwaaarrrddd!"

Both boys jumped a foot in the air at Bella's loud wail of fear and looked at one another before sprinting off into the forest in alarm, their minds wild with confusion.

"Could it be that he was pressuring Bella to do the deed?!" Emmett gasped, once they had stopped a safe distance from the house.

"But- But our brother is not that kind of man!" Jasper insisted, though his voice lacked of conviction.

"You sure about that? After we teased him this morning about being a virgin, I bet he's trying to get some now!" Emmett said in horror.

"Oh no! What have we done?!"

"We've got to stop him!"

The two turned around and started running back to the house, now on the way to save their future sister-in-law.

Alice giggled quietly to herself.

Rosalie frowned at her. "What is it?"

"I'll tell you later," the small girl replied mysteriously.

Bella licked her hand cautiously the way a cat would. "I told you it would spill! Now it's all over my hands!" she sighed.

Edward laughed. "Go and wash it off, I'll clean the rest."

"And it's sticky. I didn't think it'd be this sticky," Bella mumbled to herself, ambling towards the door.

Her fiancé rolled his eyes, reaching for a spare t-shirt to clean the mess when he heard an oncoming stampede of footsteps that was headed their way in an alarmingly rapid pace. Immediately he grabbed the brunette protectively in his arms just as his two brute brothers crashed through the wall into the room.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, BROTHER!"

"DO YOU NOT FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF?!"

Bella and Edward blinked confusedly as they were surrounded by crushed bits of what used to be the wall and Emmett and Jasper were roaring hysterically at them.

"GUYS! What's wrong with you?!" Bella hollered.

The men stopped short and looked at the pair properly for the first time since they made their entrance into the room.

"Bella?"

"You're… alright?"

The brothers looked so confused that Bella had to smile. "Yes, of course I'm okay. Why?"

Edward let out a growl. "You two…"

Emmett instantly put up his hands in surrender. "We had good intentions!" he protested.

"Don't be angry, Edward. We were concerned," Jasper said soothingly.

"I don't get it," Bella sighed.

Edward glared at them, clearly having read their assumptions from their minds.

"We were transferring Bella's tea from her cup to the thermos flask, you idiots!"

For those who are confused, Edward bought Bella a new thermos flask so she had made tea in a cup and was intending to transfer it into the flask. She was worried that the flask might be too big to fit into her bag but Edward assured her that he had bought the standard size and the amount of tea was going to fill it nicely. However, clumsy Bella of course managed to spill it.

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