Disclaimer: I own nothing. Author Note:
SUITABLE ARRANGEMENTS
Susan made her decision while watching Edmund say goodbye to Caspian. Aslan had been clear – if Peter and Susan left now, they would never again return to Narnia. So, Susan had suggested that instead they stay in Narnia, until the time came for them to see Aslan's Country. It was the only way. After being in Narnia once more, thoughts of England mostly brought up grey images, so many sparse and distant things and people compared to what Susan had lived through in Narnia, and their expectations, such a jarring painful change for a Queen who had bow calluses on her hands and who wore the finest embroidered silks with good riding boots. Susan could not live through that feeling again, she wouldn't.
Here, she could see fields and sea, here she could aim her bow true, here she was truly listened to and her actions, her words, made a great deal of difference. It was a heavy mantle to bear but it was one that Susan had missed and would miss again should she leave. The thought of leaving made her stomach roll and her back straighten.
Peter, she knew, felt the same way. He had never looked half as alive at home as he had on a Narnian battlefield. He had jumped at Susan's suggestion, though had been loathe to leave all explanations in England to Edmund and Lucy, even though they had been assured that explanations would not be necessary. Susan would miss her younger siblings so very much but Aslan had already said that they would return to Narnia.
Was it worth it? Leaving her family, the things she did love about England, for this? Susan breathed in the Narnian air and tried to put aside her great pain of anticipated loss. It would hurt so much, she knew it would. But she could not be parted from this wonderful place again, nor from who she was with her bow at her back and a crown on her head. Narnia needed her (and she needed Narnia, a soft murmur within reminded her) and she was gladly answering its call.
She resolved not to think of her parents, of how mystified they had been by the change in their children following their time spent living with Professor Digory. Susan had heard them talking about it; they hadn't known what to think, how insular their children were now, so dependant on one another, so full of strange words and customs, how bright their smiles were sometimes, how odd their expressions. They would be better off with only two strange half-lit children to attempt to comprehend. It would be better this way, for everybody. Truly.
Now Susan watched her brother, hidden from the view of most by a patch of trees, standing close to Narnia's crown prince. Caspian would rule beside Peter and Susan, he would be taught how to rule Narnia in a way that he hadn't before. He had been grateful for the suggestion. He looked sad now though as Edmund clasped his hand and gazed at him. Their hands lingered together and Edmund was the one who leaned closer, Caspian pressing his lips to Edmund's. A chaste kiss, entirely befitting two royals.
By now, Susan had been expecting something like that but her stomach still jumped. She had perhaps entertained thoughts of herself and Caspian. Whatever pain Susan might have been feeling was mixed in with the loss she could already feel leeching through her. She also felt a tickle of an idea. An extraordinary one but weren't these extraordinary times? In an extraordinary place?
It was later - after Lucy had grabbed Susan for a last hug, looking at her with an intensity that said she was trying her hardest to drink in her sister's features in order to truly remember her which made Susan's throat tighten, though Lucy had never once acted crestfallen at Susan's decision – that Susan sat down with Caspian to discuss what was to happen next. They were talking in Peter's tent, well-guarded on the outside but entirely private inside.
The mood was quiet and sombre, the three royals picking at the food that'd been provided. Caspian looked particularly despondent, it was little wonder, when would Edmund next arrive in Narnia? How far into Narnia's future would he appear? Susan put her knife down decidedly.
"This won't do," she announced, gaining both Peter and Caspian's attention. "It won't do at all."
"Su?"
Peter was giving her a look, Susan favoured him with a disparaging one in return and turned to a mystified Caspian.
"I meant to give you some time before I raised the subject but I see it's best that I say something now," she told him. "I think you and I should become betrothed."
Peter spluttered, "Su, this isn't-."
Susan kept her expression fixed on Caspian who was looking at her with wide surprised eyes, "It would reassure subjects who worry about our combined rule and make any who have any plans to use one side against the other think very carefully."
Caspian looked like he didn't know what to say so Susan continued, "I know that you and Edmund have become close and that you may not see each other for many Narnian years. All of us expect to marry with certain expectations and priorities. I'd much rather marry someone I already know and can call a friend."
It was perfectly logical and Susan could see that Peter had recognised that too. He still didn't look entirely happy and she knew that they were going to have a long conversation later. It wasn't as though he'd realised Edmund and Caspian's quandary – how did one stay faithful to a loved one, when they were worlds and years apart? Susan could do her part, for family and for Narnia.
Aslan trusted them to make their own decisions and choices. He couldn't be there every minute of every day. Susan understood that, though his absence caused a constant ache inside of her, accompanied by a fragment of resentment. It was something else she was resolving not to think about. There was many moments that called for courage, like this one.
Caspian cleared his throat and spoke haltingly, "It is a great offer, Susan. But what of you? You deserve a husband whose heart is yours."
Susan smiled, it was a kind thought from a good man and she said so adding, "Any man who claims to love me will have many mountains to climb."
She could remember balls when she had first grown up in Narnia, how many men had looked at her with desire in her eyes and had asked for dances with her. It had been an exciting thrilling time and Susan could think about it now with a strange sense of wonder and anticipation. She was looking forward to dancing like that again, to feeling those glances. As for what might happen should a man ask for more than a dance, well, Susan would have time to plan for that. She certainly had no intention of making things overly complicated or difficult.
Peter laughed quietly and had almost cleaned his plate already, "It's likely that betrothal offers will soon start piling up. We're both old and new propositions."
He was smiling, probably remembering how many betrothal offers he'd once received and how close he'd come to marrying Princess Millicent. She had been a fine choice – sensible with a ready smile and the loveliest green eyes. Now though...well, it didn't do to dwell on such things. It was best to look forward, not back. There would be plenty of lovely eligible young women keen to marry High King Peter. It was just a case of finding the most suitable choice for Narnia
Susan was quite sure she remembered being a suitable choice for many young princes, dukes and lords. There were several she'd been very taken with, something else it was best not to think about. Anyway, Caspian was surely the best choice of all. Even if Edmund and Lucy didn't see them for many Narnian years, Caspian would still be within reach for Edmund.
Caspian's expression remained disbelieving and he didn't give an answer. Peter shifted slightly, clearly wanting to break the silence.
"We'll need to start work on restoring Cair Paravel. It's going to take a great deal of planning."
Susan nodded, but there were plenty of Narnian subjects who'd be willing to help. There was a lot of planning to do, planning and talking, they had to cover the possibility and perhaps future necessity of children, how to integrate the Narnians and Telmarines, how to begin to construct a council that could speak for everyone and be entirely trusted and how to truly restore Old Narnia. Susan was going to focus on that, not on things she couldn't change, such as when she would next see Edmund and Lucy and how she would miss certain aspects of England. Peter was going to wish to talk to her quite urgently at some point, Susan wasn't concerned about that. She knew that Peter had already seen a little of what she was aiming to achieve. He would understand.
Caspian would too, especially once the betrothal suggestions began to arrive. They would learn to see it her way. Someone had to think wildly while Aslan was abroad. Pushing aside any encroaching pain and loss, Susan focused on the animals and humans talking just beyond the confines of the tent, on the thought of Narnia and Aslan's country and how a crown would feel upon her brow with calluses from her bow upon her hands amid first offers to dance once more.
-the end