365 Drabbles: #'s 21-26

#21: What I want

I wanted many things.. And I've always gotten what I wanted..

I hated you. I hated you because you were perfect. Always smiling. Always shining. Always happy. And those eyes…those damn, happy, naïve eyes… I hated you.

I just wanted to crush those illusions of yours. Accepting you without second thought, and then ruining it on a whim.

I wanted you to experience true pain. I wanted you to know the agonizing suffering that I had dealt with all my life. I wanted you to hate ME. I wanted you to despise my very being. I wanted you to WANT to try to rip me piece by piece, tearing whatever my family hadn't already torn.

You were too perfect. You were too happy. You were to engrossed in your feelings for me, that you blindly loved me without hesitation.

So I formulated a deceiving plot to rip you to shreds.

But as fate crossed my path, I had begun to beg silently for your attention. I wanted you to be by only myside. I wanted you to only see me and only me. My plans were failing. Completely and utterly destroyed by your unconditional love and comfort. And all the moments spent with you, were perfect. They were moments that I secretly succumbed to when I was alone.

But then those moments ended. And I had gotten want I wanted- I had crushed your illusions.

After you disappeared without a single trace, I had wanted to move on. I had wanted to forget you. I had wanted to erase your very existence from my mind- But most of all, I wanted to hate you.

And now, a decade later, that I know how badly I have selfishly wanted things. And still, I want too many things. Now, I want you to love me- to love me like you loved me…when you didn't want to hide. When your eyes were soft and loving. When you didn't hate me. And now, I want you to know that I love you, and will wait and fight for you, because I always get what I want.

Always.

#22: Smoke, Fog, and Haze

The steam from the shower rose to the ceiling, trapping Ritsu inside a room of haze. The mirror and window were foggy, only making the bathroom hotter and more suffocating.

He didn't know why he was in there, clothes and all. He just let the water pour onto his brown hair, rolling down off his chin and onto his shoulders. He knew why he felt so empty and alone. But a part of him didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe how cruel and fake his Senpai really was.

It's been a week since then. And still, he can't help but wonder 'what did I do wrong?' But he didn't know what he did wrong. He didn't know why he wasn't good enough. And now,

He couldn't see anything ahead of him.

Everything was just like steam and fog on the mirror. Everything in his life was blurry, steamy and hazy. He had no idea what lie ahead of him now, because all he dreamed of for the past three years was his Senpai.

Always Senpai. And never a future without him.

At the same time, wasn't it better to believe that this was for the best? That maybe he'd finally give up and learn that you can't always get what you want?

Everyday since his Senpai's mocking snort at his question, he can't even look at himself in the mirror. Because he's too busy crying on his knees, and hugging his body in anger and pain.

And now, he's subconsciously standing in the shower, just feeling the burning water drop onto his skin. But what the haze and fog didn't show, was that his Senpai was doing the same exact thing..

#23: Sugar Sweet

Takano stared up at the sky, admiring the shining of the stars and the light from the moon. The sight made him smile, especially since Ritsu was beginning to resist him less and less each passing day. It was almost as if he was walking in a dream, just waiting to wake up and realize that it was ONLY just a dream.

But every time he woke up since Ritsu moved to Markuwa, he knew for sure, after a decade of pain and suffering, it wasn't just a dream anymore. Ritsu was here. Physically here. And he wasn't about to let him go.

Takano took the brunette's hand in his, holding it tightly before and if there was any protest from the younger male. Ritsu pouted, but nonetheless allowed his hand to be held. They walked silently together down the street, where few people walked passed.

Takano glanced down at the brunette, stopping them in their tracks. "Onodera," He tugged him into an unnoticeable alley way, in which Ritsu had never been down before. "I wanna show you something." Ritsu prayed and PRAYED vigorously that it was NOT something sexual. He took the risk anyways, allowing himself to be lead behind Takano.

After going down the alley for a moment, Ritsu stopped in awe at the sight. He glanced at Takano, who had a small smile forming on his lips. Ritsu looked at he workers passing each other the sugar bags from the back of the vehicle. Sugar lingered in the air from the movement and different packaging the workers did to put the sugar into a bag. Takano did not let go of Ritsu's hand, but he turned to him, giving him a soft gaze.

"It's-! It's a sugar storm!" Ritsu smiled at the sight, amazed by how beautiful and simple it was. Takano squeezed Ritsu's hand gently, catching his attention from the storm.

"I have to kiss you now." Takano watched as Ritsu turned a bright pink, glancing around the area. He placed his hand onto the smaller male's waist, pulling him closer to his body. Ritsu stared at Takano wide-eyed, nervous and internally touched at the raven's bringing him here.

"D-do you..?" Ritsu stuttered, trying to keep himself from being swept away in the open. He glanced at the busy workers behind Takano, feeling anxious to not be seen. Takano let go of his hand, placing two fingers on the smaller male's lips. He gazed, completely mesmerized by those green orbs, then ran the tips of his fingers on the softness of the sugar covered lips. Then he leaned down, kissing the sugar off of them.

It was a soft and gentle kiss. Romantic in every possible way; It made Ritsu weak at the knees, and his heart race furiously. He shut his eyes, but for once, it was a gentle close. He wasn't forcing them shut or keeping them wide open in shock. He closed them, savoring all the sweet and loving sensations he received from the only person who could give them to him.

Takano wasn't always romantic. But when it was, Ritsu now knew, it tasted like sugar.

#24: I don't make faces

[Bada-didi-di-do-do, di-da-didi-do] *ringtone*

Ritsu reluctantly outstretched his arm towards the nightstand near his bed. 'who could be calling at this hour?' He sleepily answered the call without bothering to check the caller ID, though it didn't really matter, presuming it would none other than his own personal neighbor/stalker/boss/ex lover.

"Hello?" Ritsu muffled out a greeting, rubbing one eye with his free hand and slowly trying to become comfortable once again.

[Onodera, I have something to tell you.] Of course, it was his stalker/neighbor/boss/whatever the hell else he was.

"And what could that possibly be at this hour?" Ritsu groaned, closing both his eyes into a nice, peaceful darkness. The line was silent for moments after, leaving Ritsu to peek one eye open, slightly nervous. "Takano-san?"

[I love you.] Ritsu stiffened, his expression turning into a pout, and immediately blushing at the confession.

"Stupid Takano-san. That's what you called to tell me!? It's 2am in the morning! Get a hobby!" Ritsu was ready to slam his phone into oblivion, when he heard a light chuckle on the other end.

[Ah, Ritsu, I just wanted to tell you that. That's all.] Takano sounded so gentle and content. If it were any possible, Ritsu's blush turned darker and darker in shade. [Are you doing that face?] Takano asked, somewhat playfully and somewhat as gentle as before. Ritsu shook his head, puffing his cheeks out and frowning at his phone.

"Wh-what f-face?"

[That pout you always have. You know, where you're all cute and squishy.]

"…."

[…]

"…I don't make faces like that…"

[Ah, you're doing it aren't you?]

"…I'm not.." Ritsu felt his face for a moment, eyebrows knitting together in denial. "I most definitely am not."

[heh, okay. But if you're not making that face, then what kinda face are you making?] Ritsu thought about it for a moment, before quickly jumping out of bed and racing into the bathroom to see his expression.

"…"

[….]

"…I t-told you Takano-san.. I don't make faces."

[That so?]

Ritsu stared at his expression in the mirror. There was nothing out of the ordinary, right? He was normal. He frowned, he occasionally smiled and laughed. He wore poker faces when it was necessary. But how come every time he thought about Takano, there was this face that he couldn't recognize? It was almost as if.. as if he was 15 again, admiring Senpai from afar.

Even after ten years, he still had no idea what his expression towards the raven was.

[Onodera.]

"…hmm?" Ritsu turned his back to the mirror, letting it rest against the cool counter.

[I really do love you.] Thudump. Thudump. Thudump.

Ritsu quickly turned back to face the mirror. He had to see! He had to see! But even though he looked at himself, all he saw was a blushing mess.

"W-Will you ever g-give up?" Ritsu asked, still analyzing his features in the mirror. Thudump. Thudump. Thudump.

[Never.] If Ritsu thought he was going crazy, which he didn't doubt, he could almost hear Takano smile..

No wait. He was just crazy.

"Goodnight." Ritsu took one last look at himself, before turning away from the unfamiliar expression for good.

[Goodnight, Ritsu.] The call ended, leaving Ritsu a blushing mess in the doorway between his room and the bathroom. He stood there, holding his phone in his hand, and making that unfamiliar expression at the ground. His phone did a light notification sound, snapping him out of his thoughts to open the message.

'Don't be late for work Baka.' Ritsu quickly swallowed a scream that formed in his throat, tossing his phone across the room. He threw himself on his bed, hugging his pillow over his face and letting out the scream he tried to suppress, and kicking his feet on his bed. It was then that he decided,

He would never make that face again.

#25: Meant to be

Takano felt the warmth of a familiar male's breath on his chest. He held him tightly, memorizing each movement and feeling as time had passed them by.

The rain began to trickle down upon them, lightly at first and then increasingly harder after a few minutes. But neither moved from their position. They just stood there on the side walk, like to love-struck teenagers, holding the other closer than all the other times before.

Takano lifted Ritsu's chin to face him, closing the gap between their faces. "Ritsu," He whispered, both of them closing their eyes to the predictable action that awaited them. "Ritsu.. I love you."

The brunette closed his eyes completely, giving a small smile and a large blush. He kept his eyes shut, feeling both the pouring of the rain and the breath on his lips. "I love you too, Masamune."

The softness of Ritsu's lips met his. Sending shivers and sweet intoxicating sensations through his body. His arms wrapped around Ritsu's smaller body, holding one on his waist and one on the back of his head. Ritsu slid his arms around the taller male's neck, deepening the kiss and smiling into it.

This moment.. it was one of those moments where they didn't care if they were seen. And they didn't care if they caught a cold. This was one of those moments, where Takano truly believed that there was a god, and that god had finally taken pity on him; giving him someone so much more deserving than he.

And for Ritsu, it was these moments that he believed there was such thing as the devil; There had to be. Because the devil is what severed them those ten years, forcing him to believe that he was worthless to his precious Senpai.

But neither of them really knew why or how. They only knew one thing.

And that was that it was, and always would be set in stone, that they were just simply meant to be.

#26: Fear

"Onodera, watch this movie with me." Takano held up a DVD, slightly shaking it so that the disk hit both ends of where it was placed. Ritsu gave his boss a strange look. "It's an order from your boss." First off, why? Second off, WHY!? Ritsu felt his eye give a slight twitch, both angry and annoyed at his annoyingly pestering boss.

"How is this even work-related!? I thought you said that you had something for me to do!" Takano turned on the DVD player and television, completely ignoring the brunette's pointless defiance.

The screen turned on, immediately going through copyright information and then commercials which Takano hated to watch. "Onodera, just sit down. This is gonna be good. I just know it." Takano sounded somewhat enthusiastic, which made Ritsu all the more eager to leave. But reluctantly, he found the will to take a seat at the very edge of the couch, far enough distance from Takano not to try anything funny.

"Fine, but only for a little while."

*45 minutes later*

"Run you bastard! Run! No-what are you doing you dumbfuc-NO! Why! Why is this happening!?" Ritsu shook Takano's arm, which he somehow had scooted closer to the raven within close proximity. His eyes were firmly set on the screen, not even noticing how strongly he clutched onto the couch pillow and Takano's arm. Takano watched in amusement, seeing how Ritsu panicked and occasionally, probably subconsciously, fed him popcorn.

Ritsu held his breath, holding both his hands over his mouth. Takano stared at the screen, figuring this was one of those scenes where someone pops out or something. Ritsu bit his bottom lip furiously, turning to Takano and whispering things like 'holy shit their gonna die' Or 'They're so stupid! Who does that!?'

And within seconds, as Takano had predicted, a common jump-scare scene happened, making Ritsu slightly scream and wiggle in his seat. "Takano-san! look! Look!" Ritsu whispered anxiously, cuddling a couch pillow and stuffing his face with some more popcorn. Takano smirked to himself, trying to keep his sarcastic remarks to himself. Might as well enjoy this moment. Maybe Ritsu will even wanna sleep with him tonight.

"Why are you going in there? Why are you going in there!? Are you mental!?" Ritsu continuously whispered angrily towards the woman in the movie, suddenly shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth and chewing nervously.

Takano stared at the screen, seriously trying to hold in the built up laughter from the reactions the brunette had. This definitely topped the romantic comedy he was gonna put on. He stole a glance towards the brunette, who's eyes were wide and focused on the scene, as he chewed off his nails. He mumbled faint 'oh no' or 'fuck, fuck, shit, hell, fuck.'

"Ritsu," Takano tried to get the brunette's attention, now irritated that it had been too long since it was focused on him. Ritsu put a hand in the air, not saying anything, but holding it there so that he could hear the scene.

"…." Ritsu stared intently at the screen, listening for whatever sounds he could hear in the background. For a brief second, both Ritsu and Takano held their breath, as the scene played out. The movie was in pure silence, all but the breathing of the main character.

Ritsu bit down firmly on his lip, scared-crying at the scene. Takano glanced at Ritsu, who honest to god look terrified. He pulled him into his arms, still allowing him to see the screen. Ritsu covered his eyes, "I can't watch!" Then peeking through the spaces between his fingers.

Takano observed the scene closely, waiting for something to happen. And suddenly, something popped out at the screen, screaming ghastly and startling him. Ritsu screamed and buried his head into Takano's chest.

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!"

…

…

…

"Well, that was fun." Takano turned off the TV and DVD, putting everything back in its place. Ritsu nodded, and swallowed a dry gulp. He glanced towards the exit, noticing the darkness between the hallway and from where he sat.

The raven lifted an eyebrow, feeling the need to tease. "Oi, are you scared?" Ritsu darted his eyes at Takano, who was smirking and held a hand on his hip. Ritsu stood from the couch, tossing Mr. Pillow away and striding towards the darkness of the hallway.

"Um…A-Ano, Takano-san…?"

"Hmm?"

"…will you come to the bathroom with me…?"

Gomen! XC I'm sorry! I'm lagging on everything right now. Lol. I really had so much fun writing these. I hope you liked them. -J.J.