Note: So you know how I said I wasn't going to write another part and then I later said that even if I did, it wouldn't be for a long time? I lied ._. I found something that was briefly touched on but not properly addressed in the second part and had another piece I wanted to write that would fit into this verse nicely, so I ended up writing this. It's kind of long and it's a little bit of a roller coaster, but I think it wraps up this verse well.

Also, this actually starts in Erza's POV for reasons you'll probably be able to guess pretty quickly, but it switches back to Natsu's POV right away and stays there. This piece requires a little creativity with the timeline, but not a lot. It takes place after Avatar but before FT finds out what happened to Makarov, so it just requires a couple weeks to be inserted between those two points.

"Well, I guess we might as well call it a day," Erza said with a sigh as she looked around at their half-built guild.

After Fairy Tail had been reformed, they had needed a new guild hall since their last one had been destroyed in the fight with Tartaros. The past week had been spent rebuilding, although they still continued sending out tentative feelers in an attempt to find out what had happened to their master and where he might be now. Until Makarov was found Erza was nominally in charge, and she didn't intend to let anyone slack off of the construction. Still, she decided that they should probably just take a half day today since they'd been working so hard recently. Everyone could use a break.

"Already?" Lucy asked in surprise, letting the board she was carrying rest on the ground. "It's still so early. We still have a few hours of daylight left."

"Yes, but with how hard we've all been working, we might as well take a break." Erza's gaze sharpened. "Mind you, we'll be right back to work tomorrow, so enjoy it while it lasts."

"Yes!" Natsu whooped, immediately dropping all the materials he had been holding. Erza winced as they crashed to the ground. "Freedom!"

Everyone else began gratefully abandoning their respective tasks, although thankfully with more care than Natsu had.

"Lu-chan!" Levy said brightly, turning to Lucy with a wide smile. "Let's go sit down and you can tell me more about your time at the Weekly Sorcerer. I read all of your articles!"

Lucy laughed and headed over to sit with Levy, and everyone else began drifting into groups as well, taking this time to continue reconnecting with old friends and to talk about what they had been up to for the past year. Erza smiled as she watched them. It really was nice seeing everyone together again after all this time.

"Hey, ice block! Let's fight!"

Erza whipped around to tell Natsu in no uncertain terms that he would not be starting a fight that would in all likelihood result in the destruction of everything they had managed to rebuild so far, but paused when she saw Gray. The ice mage had been making a teasing comment to Lucy and Levy, his eyes sparkling with mirth, but his amusement faded when Natsu addressed him. The look he gave Natsu wasn't hostile, exactly, but it lacked the warmth he had been showing to the others.

"Not now, Natsu," he said, his voice tinged with cool politeness. "I'm actually planning on heading home."

"But–"

"I'll see you tomorrow, everyone!" Gray said, talking right over Natsu's protest. His easy smile had returned as he waved goodbye to everyone, but his eyes seemed to pass right over Natsu. Then he turned on his heel and began walking away.

"Gray–"

Gray glanced back and briefly met the dragon slayer's gaze. "I'll see you tomorrow, Natsu."

And then he was gone, heading into the street and quickly disappearing from view as he merged into the crowd of pedestrians there. Natsu stared after him forlornly.

"Wow, what did you do to him?" Cana asked, her voice slightly slurred since she had already managed to consume a fair amount of alcohol in the short time since Erza had called for a break. "He doesn't seem happy with you."

Natsu scowled and turned back to face them. "I don't know."

"Oh really?" Gajeel asked, raising an eyebrow. "He seems to be getting along with you better than ever before." He rolled his eyes. "You haven't gotten into a fight big enough to undo all our work on the guild yet, anyway."

"Yeah, that's the problem," Natsu muttered. "He hasn't wanted to fight me in days." He glanced back at where Gray had disappeared a few moments before. "He hasn't called me 'flame brain' since the mess with Avatar," he added mournfully.

Erza almost wanted to laugh because not fighting or being insulted seemed like silly reasons to be worried, but she understood what Natsu meant. She hadn't noticed anything off with how Gray was treating Natsu at first because the changes were subtle, but something was definitely up. The two of them had gotten pretty close before Tartaros—if Erza had to guess, she would say that their relationship had started shifting not too long after Lucy had joined the guild—and although she wasn't privy to the workings of their friendship, she had noticed that they had become more open with each other.

Oh, the fighting and teasing banter was still there, but she could read the change in their eyes, and they had even started going out on missions together, just the two of them. She liked to call it their 'bonding time', although she didn't know the true purpose. And that was what puzzled her about this sudden shift in Gray's attitude, because he and Natsu had been getting along really well until now.

"He seemed a little withdrawn after Avatar," Erza said, "but he was back to normal within a couple days. Except with you, Natsu. I thought that maybe he was just taking a little while to adjust after being stuck with Avatar, because I know that being in a dark guild must have been stressful, but he seems to have recovered quickly from that."

"He can't possibly be that upset that I ruined his cover," Natsu muttered, grimacing again.

"I was there too," Lucy pointed out. "I screwed up his mission as much as you did, but he's still plenty nice to me."

"Yeah, he's being plenty nice to everyone but me," Natsu growled. He paused. "Actually, the problem is that he's being too damn nice to me too. He won't fight me or insult me, and he's just too polite. Just like…really stiff and formal and polite. It's weird. Usually when he's angry at me he has no problem yelling and starting a fight, but now it's like he's pretending that he's not really mad, except that he also isn't trying to hide the fact that he doesn't want anything to do with me. It's like he's talking to a goddamn stranger." His eyes narrowed suddenly. "He's shutting me out again, is what he's doing. I worked too damn hard to get him to open up. There's no way he's going to just shut down on me again after all that."

Erza studied him thoughtfully. She wasn't sure exactly what this 'opening up' consisted of, but then again Gray and Natsu had always had a rather unconventional friendship that was somewhat baffling to outsiders. She did, however, understand exactly what Natsu meant about the rest of it.

Gray had seemed just a little out of it when he had returned from his stint with Avatar, and she imagined that having to interact with a dark guild had been stressful for him. She didn't know exactly what had gone on during that period, because he hadn't given her many extraneous details outside of the information important to the mission. Whenever she had asked if he was okay or needed to abort the mission, he had just said that things were going fine and that was the end of it. So Erza didn't know what he had experienced, but she could understand if it was hard for him to adjust to normal guild life again afterward.

But at the same time, he had quickly regained his normal energy and cheerfulness, and was acting normally towards everyone but Natsu. He had started treating the dragon slayer with something of the over-politeness and formalness usually reserved for strangers or acquaintances, with just a touch of coldness. Gray usually faced his problems head-on and wasn't afraid of bringing up issues or starting conflicts if necessary, especially when Natsu was involved. Those two would fight like cats and dogs but still be best friends at the end of the day. They weren't fighting now, but they were farther apart than they had ever been.

Erza couldn't say for sure what the problem was, but she did agree that Gray was shutting Natsu out. If things kept going like this then the problem would never be solved, because Gray would never bring it up and the two friends would never work things out. If Gray wasn't going to go to Natsu, then Natsu would have to go to Gray.

"Go talk to him," she told the dragon slayer.

She prepared to override the inevitable protest—Gray and Natsu always insisted that they didn't talk to each other, although she thought that was a half-truth at best—but Natsu just nodded slowly.

"Yeah," he said, his voice subdued. "I'd better go see what's up."

Erza blinked at him for a moment, surprised by his easy acquiescence, but then smiled a little. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

Natsu hurried out the door, so focused on the task at hand that he barely spared them another glance. Erza just sighed and fervently hoped that those two would come to some sort of understanding already. Drifting over to where Lucy and Levy were swapping stories about their time outside the guild, she easily joined in the conversation.

They had only been chatting for a few minutes when a panicked man came running in, his eyes darting about frantically. Erza frowned slightly at the strange sight and stood up.

"Is something wrong?" she asked. "Can we help you?"

He focused his agitated gaze on her. "Do you have a fire mage and an ice mage in your guild?"

Erza's frown deepened and she steeled herself for the worst. "Yes," she replied. "What did they do now?"

"They're fighting in the middle of the street," he said anxiously, wringing his hands together. "Everyone's already evacuated the area to avoid getting hit by stray magic, but you should go stop them from killing each other."

Erza cursed under her breath, and behind her, a few other guild members had some choice words to say as well. She had told Natsu to talk to Gray, not pick a fight. She wanted to believe that it was a good thing since it was a step back towards normalcy, but given how things had been going recently, this didn't seem like one of their normal fights.

"We'll go take care of it right now," Erza assured the man. "We're very sorry for the trouble they've caused."

She quickly headed for the door, pausing briefly to ascertain where the two troublemakers must be—which wasn't as difficult as might be expected, since she could quite clearly see some stray flames leaping into the sky a few streets away—and started running down the street towards the conflict. Lucy quickly caught up and ran by her side, and she was vaguely aware that at least a few other guild members were following as well. Apparently she wasn't the only one who was concerned about the way things were going with Natsu and Gray.

And with that, Fairy Tail went on a mission to ensure the friendship and well-being of two of its most important members.

Natsu picked up Gray's scent without much trouble, despite the other pedestrians' scents mingling with it. Following his nose, he hurried down the street, eager to catch up to his friend. He didn't know what was up with Gray, but it was high time that they figured this out already.

He had been so excited to see Gray after a year of being apart, but after they had wrapped up the mess with Avatar, the ice mage had withdrawn and shown none of the same enthusiasm at seeing Natsu again. Natsu didn't get it. The two of them had always been great friends, and after Galuna they had been closer than ever. Gray had finally opened up to Natsu and they had reached a mutual understanding. They had even continued going on jobs together from time to time, just the two of them. They could usually tell when the other was upset, and one or the other would suggest another road trip. They didn't always talk as much as they had in the wake of Galuna and Gray's birthday, but they had always been there for each other.

And suddenly that had all changed.

Gray wasn't being hostile, wasn't being rude or disrespectful or angry, but he was so cold. With everyone else he was the same Gray as before, but with Natsu he had become distant. It wasn't so much that he had cut off their friendship, but more like he had taken a step back. A huge step back. What had happened after Galuna Island had shifted the boundaries of their friendship and brought them closer together. Now Gray was firmly retracting that progress, returning the boundaries to where they had been before. Actually, Natsu thought that the boundaries were even more restrictive than they had been.

What bothered him was that Gray wasn't necessarily trying to cut him out entirely or be overly unfriendly, but was just restricting their friendship to a pale reflection of what it had once been. It was like Gray was saying that they could still be acquaintances but not best friends anymore, and Natsu didn't want that. He had gotten too damn close to Gray to back out now.

The other thing that worried Natsu was that Gray hadn't actually come out and said anything about any of this. His behavior was anything but normal, but he had given no direct acknowledgment that anything had changed. Even before the two of them had gotten close enough to share their inner feelings, neither of them had had a problem pointing out when there was an issue. If Gray was mad at Natsu then he would just yell and pick a fight, and they'd work things out that way. He had never before been so mad that he had completely ignored the problem and pretended like nothing was wrong, even as he pushed Natsu out of his life. That suggested that either he was seriously angry or something had happened to make him withdraw. Or both.

Natsu didn't know what the problem was, but he wanted his friend back right now. At this point he thought that he would do almost anything to make that happen, because he couldn't stand this terrible feeling of loss anymore. He didn't know what he had done wrong, but he'd do whatever it took to fix it.

He turned a corner and spotted Gray walking slowly down the street, his hands jammed in his pockets as he stared moodily at the ground. When Gray walked like that, it usually meant that something was bothering him.

"Hey! Ice princess!"

Gray's head snapped up and he watched warily as Natsu bounded over. After annoyance and something unreadable briefly flashed across his face, he smoothed out his expression and looked at Natsu with polite indifference.

"What is it, Natsu?"

Natsu winced. Was it too much to ask for Gray to just call him 'flame brain' or 'squinty eyes', even once more?

"We need to talk," he said firmly.

Gray arched an eyebrow. Then he shrugged, turned, and started walking leisurely down the street again.

"Talk?" he asked with a faintly derisive air. "We don't talk."

Natsu scowled and took a few quick steps forward to catch up with Gray, before slowing down to match his friend's pace. "That's a lie and you know it."

Maybe they didn't always talk a lot about their feelings and such, but they would talk to each other if something important enough came up. Galuna Island and Gray's birthdays were proof enough of that.

"Maybe in the past that would be true," Gray said with a sigh. His voice was still indifferent, but for a split second Natsu thought that he could detect a faint undercurrent of wistfulness. "But now? Now we don't talk."

And that was Natsu's fault how, exactly? Gray was the one who was shutting down the lines of communication. The dragon slayer growled in frustration.

"But why?" he demanded. "What did I do that was so bad?"

"Nothing, Natsu," Gray said tiredly. "You did nothing."

Which seemed like an odd way of saying it, but if Natsu hadn't done anything wrong then why was Gray shutting down on him?

"Why are you so mad at me then?" he asked, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"Who said anything about being mad?"

"Well certainly not you!" Natsu burst out, grabbing Gray's arm and forcing him to a stop. The ice mage looked briefly startled, before his face closed off again. "You keep acting like everything is okay, like nothing has changed, but something is definitely wrong. Why won't you just tell me what's wrong?"

The two mages stared at each other, Gray impassive and Natsu trying to keep his raw desperation out of his face. Then Gray skillfully twisted away from Natsu and shook off his hand. Returning his own hands to his pockets, he turned away and began walking down the street again.

"Why would anything be wrong?"

Natsu stared after him, hands hanging uselessly at his sides. Gray had just dismissed him like it with nothing. He didn't want to talk, didn't want to work things out. But Natsu did. He did.

"Don't walk away from me!" he called after his friend, half angry and half desperate. He couldn't help but feel that if he let Gray walk away now, the ice mage would never really come back. Natsu wasn't ready to lose his best friend.

But Gray didn't even pause. "Why not?" he questioned softly, his voice almost lost in the everyday noise of the streets. "You walked away first."

Natsu didn't know what that meant, didn't know what to make of the undercurrent of bitterness in Gray's voice, but he couldn't just accept this. He had to stop Gray, figure out how to work things out, but Gray just kept right on walking. Natsu needed a way to make him turn back around.

A flaming fist to the face should do quite nicely.

Gray sensed the attack a moment before Natsu's fist connected with his head, instinctively turning and twisting out of the way.

"What the hell?" he griped.

Natsu swung again and Gray simply swayed to the side to avoid his fist once more. And again and again, Gray just dodged the attacks, backing up slowly and watching Natsu with a guarded expression. The dragon slayer growled. Usually Gray would be fighting back and they would have a brawl. Now he wouldn't even deign to play along.

"When you're mad at me, you fight," Natsu snarled, narrowly missing Gray's face as he swung wildly with a flame-covered fist. "You don't walk away. You don't just stand there like I'm not worth the effort. You fight."

Gray's eyes darkened and the anger he had been hiding flashed to the surface.

"Fight?" he asked, grabbing Natsu's fist as it hurtled towards his face. He twisted it sharply, making the dragon slayer hiss in pain and hurriedly shake him off. "You want me to fight? Fine then, let's fight."

Gray's magic flared up in response to his anger and he swung at Natsu viciously. Natsu wanted to think that this was a good thing, that it was better now that Gray wasn't trying to pretend that everything was normal, but he also wasn't sure if this had been his smartest idea.

He backed away from Gray's ferocious hail of attacks, wondering if maybe he should find a way to defuse the situation now. But then Gray's fist connected with his nose and all bets were off. Natsu growled in pain and anger and began fighting back. Soon the fight had escalated from a mostly straight-up fistfight to an all-out magical attack, with flames and ice flying everywhere. Natsu was vaguely aware of bystanders' panicked cries as they hurried to flee the scene, but he was too focused on Gray to care.

"Why won't you just tell me what's wrong?" he hissed, dodging a blast of ice and responding with a burst of fire that Gray neatly avoided.

Gray's eyes narrowed further and he sent more ice at Natsu. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Yeah, I got that, thanks," Natsu retorted sarcastically. "But how am I supposed to fix things if I don't even know what I did wrong?"

"Maybe this doesn't need to be fixed," Gray snarled.

That gave Natsu pause and he nearly got an icy fist to his face for his trouble. He quickly dodged and gave Gray a hurt look. "You don't mean that."

Gray hesitated for a split second, something indecipherable flashing across his face. For a moment, the fight seemed to drain out of him. "I don't know what I mean right now," he said quietly.

But the moment passed quickly because Natsu's fire was already on its way and Gray had to dance out of the way. When he looked back at the dragon slayer, his face was set and cold again.

"Why are you so mad?" Natsu demanded again, his desperate frustration shining through.

"Who the hell cares?" Gray shot back, dodging another attack.

"I care!" Natsu burst out in frustration. "Why don't you see that I care?"

"Well you picked a great time to start caring again now."

"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? I've always cared!"

"Oh really? You really have some way of showing it."

Something inside Natsu snapped. "Why the hell are you so mad?" he yelled.

Fury flared in Gray's eyes and Natsu could see the exact moment that something snapped inside him as well, the exact moment when Gray finally lost control and couldn't stop the words from pouring out.

"Because I needed you!" he shouted back. Natsu's eyes widened slightly, and he was caught off guard when Gray's fist slammed into his stomach and sent him flying backwards. "I needed you and you weren't here!"

"Gray…" Natsu breathed, still shocked by the sudden outburst.

He looked up from where he was sprawled on the ground. Gray was advancing on him, eyes blazing and fists clenched, but his magic had died away and he didn't move to hit Natsu again. Instead, he stopped a couple feet in front of the dragon slayer and looked down at him with furious eyes.

"I know you had your own issues to deal with, but a lot of stupid shit happened to me too, you know," he hissed, staring Natsu down. "You promised not to leave. I fucking begged you not to leave. But you left and Fairy Tail disbanded and I had to deal with it all on my own. The aftereffects of Memento Mori, everything with Avatar, my father…"

He trailed off and averted his gaze, his fists slowly unclenching to hang limply by his sides. A sudden fear twisted at Natsu's insides.

"What?" he demanded anxiously. "Did something happen with Memento Mori?" Gray had taken that curse. Gray had taken the curse to save Natsu, but he had seemed alright afterwards. Had Natsu missed something? "And what about your father? Your father is…" …dead.

Gray closed his eyes for a moment and let out a slow breath. He didn't much look like he wanted to fight anymore. He just looked drained and empty, and a hint of sadness lingered in his eyes when he opened them again.

"It's not important," he said wearily. "It doesn't matter anymore."

He turned away and Natsu hurriedly scrambled to his feet and grabbed his arm again, because there was no way in hell he was going to let Gray just walk away after making a statement like that. Gray let out an irritated sigh and shook him off, but he turned back to face Natsu anyway.

"It's obviously important to you," Natsu countered, "and it definitely matters to me. Don't lie to me, Gray. I don't think you're okay."

Gray laughed harshly. "Oh really?" he asked sarcastically, bitterness creeping back into his voice. "What gave it away?"

Natsu swallowed hard and looked away. "Look, you're right. I wasn't here and I obviously should have been. I'm sorry, okay? I really am. And you have a right to be angry, but please…" His voice wavered slightly and he looked up at Gray with damp eyes. "Please don't shut me out again. You're hurting yourself by pretending that you're okay. Tell me, Gray. We have a lot of catching up to do. Tell me what happened."

He was almost begging at this point, desperate to get Gray to confide in him once more and acknowledge the importance of their friendship, but he tried to keep the pleading note out of his voice. Gray evidently picked up on it anyway, because his bitter irritation drained away and he just looked tired again. Even now, even when he was angry, he couldn't take pleasure in the sight of one of his friends hurting.

"It was over a year ago. I've had time to adjust. It's not such a big deal anymore."

But apparently he was still angry enough to not want to open up and be honest, because that was a goddamn lie if ever there was one.

"Deliora killed your parents and Ur over ten years ago and it's still a big deal," Natsu said. "It's okay to still be upset over something that happened a long time ago."

Pain twisted Gray's features at that, and Natsu recognized it. Looking at Gray's face, he could see all the old pain written there, but there was a new pain as well. Natsu didn't know what that new pain might be, but he'd be damned if he didn't figure it out.

Gray opened his mouth, but no reply was forthcoming. He just stared at Natsu for a moment and then slowly closed his mouth, shaking his head helplessly. Natsu suddenly realized that despite whatever was holding him back, Gray wanted to talk. He wanted to let Natsu back in and regain the closeness they had once had. But he also didn't seem to know exactly how to go about it, and Natsu had the sinking feeling that he knew why.

They had talked of fear once or twice, and Natsu knew a thing or two about Gray's fears. Gray had once told him that one of the reasons he had originally tried to distance himself from Fairy Tail's members was because he had been scared that if he cared about them too much, he would end up getting hurt again.

And wasn't that exactly what Gray was doing now? He had come to rely on Natsu, but Natsu had left when Gray needed him the most. And that would have hurt. So Gray had blocked him out again so that the next time something happened, he wouldn't need his help and wouldn't run the risk of being let down again. Then again, Natsu could already tell that it wasn't working so well, because Gray hadn't been lying when he said that he wasn't any good at not caring.

"I screwed up," Natsu said quietly. "I left when I should have stayed. But I'm here now, okay? I'm here. You're still my best friend. I still want to help. Please, Gray. Please let me help."

Gray wavered for a few moments longer, but then he met Natsu's eyes and whatever he saw there seemed to convince him to give in.

"I don't–I don't even know where to start," he said miserably.

That didn't sound like an encouraging way to begin, and Natsu was getting the feeling that a lot of stuff had happened to Gray since Tartaros, stuff that Natsu didn't know about.

"Well, what did you mean about Memento Mori?" he asked, recalling the things Gray had listed off earlier. "I didn't think that it really did much after you first collapsed. Did it…?"

"I suppose it's as good a place to start as any," Gray muttered, sighing. "Might as well get the little things out of the way first." Which also did not sound encouraging. His lips pressed together in a thin line for a moment and his voice was quiet when he spoke again. "Natsu, do you remember what 'memento mori' means? It means 'memory of death'. And I died, didn't I?"

Natsu let out his breath in a hiss, eyes widening. That was a rather ominous way to introduce the topic. It took him a second to figure out what Gray was referencing, but he quickly remembered the mess after the Grand Magic Games. After the issue with the Eclipse Gate had been resolved, Natsu had noticed that something was up with Gray. The ice mage had been quiet and unhappy until Juvia had told him that he shouldn't look so down when all of Magnolia had turned out to cheer them on for their win at the Games. After that point Gray had hidden his unhappiness better, but Natsu had had a lot of practice in reading his moods by that point and could tell that he was still upset over something.

Natsu had bided his time and waited for Gray to come to him because he didn't want to push his friend—Gray would come when he was ready. A couple of weeks had passed and Natsu had started to wonder if he was going to have to track Gray down and start prying details out of him after all, but then the ice mage had finally shown up at Natsu's doorstep one morning with a handful of job requests. Halfway through the trip, he had told Natsu about how he had been killed by the dragonlings and how Ultear had sacrificed herself to turn back time for a single minute, which had saved his life.

That had been a hard conversation for both of them. It had worried Natsu because he hadn't seen Gray that upset in a long time, and he knew that his friend was blaming himself for what had happened to Ultear. And although Gray didn't come out and say it, Natsu knew that some part of him wished that Ultear hadn't cast the spell.

That frightened Natsu more than a little because he remembered the things they had talked about on Gray's birthday, and he knew that there were still times when Gray would rather be dead if it meant that the people who had sacrificed themselves for him were still alive and well. Natsu also worried that the experience had made Gray devalue his life even more, because for each person who sacrificed themselves for him, for each time he believed he should have died but had been saved instead, he died a little more on the inside.

The other thing that had struck Natsu was how close he had come to losing Gray for good this time. Yes, Gray—and all the rest of them—had come very close to dying on many occasions, but this revelation had been more real. This time Gray actually had died. Close calls were common enough, but to know that Gray had actually died, that Natsu had been one minute away from losing him forever… That was terrifying.

"Oh God," Natsu breathed fearfully, "what did it do to you?"

Gray's mouth twisted in a faint grimace and he glanced off to the side. "It didn't–it didn't really do anything, but…it kind of messed with my head. When it hit me, part of what it did was make me relive my death. And really, that wasn't so bad and I thought it was over after that. But then the nightmares started. I was okay when they were just about my death because that didn't bother me so much except for the reminder of Ultear…"

He trailed off for a moment and swallowed hard before continuing. Natsu just watched him silently, his eyes growing wider and wider with every word.

"But then I started getting nightmares about everyone I cared about who died: my parents, Ur, my father, even Ultear, though she's not technically dead," he continued in a low voice. Natsu's brow briefly crinkled in puzzlement over the double mention of Gray's father, but he didn't comment. He was still more worried about Memento Mori.

"And then I got nightmares about different kinds of ways everyone could die, kind of like after Galuna but not as focused on Deliora. And they weren't…they weren't normal nightmares. I don't know what that curse did, but it really screwed with my brain. But the effects kind of faded over time. They were only bad for the first few months. It's not so bad now."

Natsu stared at Gray, a nauseous feeling curling in his stomach. "Like Galuna? You were a mess after Galuna."

Gray pursed his lips and his eyes narrowed slightly as he stared at the ground. "Yeah, well. I figured it out."

That was neither reassuring nor made Natsu feel any better. "You said this went on for months?"

Gray shrugged dismissively. "On and off. The first couple weeks were the worst. It started gradually getting better after that."

"I saw how upset you were after Galuna. This was worse than you're letting on, wasn't it?"

Because Gray had a tendency to downplay things sometimes. Natsu wasn't sure if it was because of his stubborn pride and anger this time, or if it was because he didn't want the dragon slayer to feel any guiltier than he already did. Given the current situation, the first option should seem more likely, but Natsu had the feeling that the second was playing a pretty big part.

"Maybe a little," Gray admitted, his voice subdued.

Which spoke volumes, really, because Natsu could tell that even that statement was watered down, which meant that things had been a lot worse than Gray was saying.

"Damn, I should have been here. I should have… Shit, I'm sorry. I was really freaked out when the curse hit you, but I thought that you were alright. You took Memento Mori to protect me and I didn't even double-check to make sure that you were okay after. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

But even though it was stupid for Natsu to blame himself for something that in truth really wasn't his fault, he still felt bad that this had happened because Gray had protected him. Plus, it kind of was his fault that Gray had had to deal with the aftereffects by himself.

Gray could obviously read the guilt and regret in his eyes, because he sighed heavily. "Don't look at me like that. You know better than to blame yourself for stupid crap that isn't your fault. That's my job." Natsu grimaced slightly because that really was something Gray was prone to do, but his friend kept on talking. "It's not like there was anything else you could have done—if the curse had hit you then you would be dead. And honestly, you don't have to hold my hand every time I have a nightmare. I can handle nightmares."

"But you shouldn't have to handle them on your own anymore," Natsu disagreed. He had had his reasons for leaving after Tartaros and he felt like those reasons were justified, but in running off to deal with his grief he had abandoned Gray to his own problems, and he hadn't meant for that to happen. "I was here for you last time and I should have been here again."

He half expected some sign of agreement or another acerbic comment about how he had left despite his promise, but Gray just shrugged, apparently unwilling to pursue that topic again.

"It doesn't matter. That was the least of my problems, really, and everything with Avatar helped distract me anyway."

"Least of your…? You know what, tell me about Avatar first."

Gray's lips flattened and something cold entered his eyes, but his sudden shift in attitude didn't seem to be directed at Natsu this time.

"There's not much to tell."

Or maybe it was.

"Don't do this again," Natsu pleaded "I know I screwed up by leaving, but don't shut down on me again."

Gray just sighed and shook his head. "This isn't about me being mad at you. I'm just not ready to talk about Avatar yet. It was a dark guild, Natsu—they weren't nice people. In order to get in with them, I had to get them to trust me. I had to do things that I…normally wouldn't do, and they did things to me that I don't really want to think about right now."

He swallowed hard and looked at the ground, shame and misery flickering in his eyes. Natsu opened his mouth to demand more details because he definitely didn't like that look, but Gray talked over him.

"And being in a dark guild is just really toxic," the ice mage continued, his tone conversational and no-nonsense once more as he shrugged off whatever it was that still haunted him about the experience. "It was stressful and uncomfortable and, quite frankly, pretty damn terrifying at times since I saw what they did to suspected traitors. But it was also important work and I don't regret taking that mission. It gave me more opportunities to learn how to control my new magic and gave me something more important than my other problems to focus on."

Natsu just stared at him wordlessly for a moment, his mind churning. Gray had tried playing off the experience as something that was worth doing, but Natsu was more concerned about what he had said before. He didn't know what Avatar had done to Gray or what it had made Gray do, but the fact that he was refusing to give any details was worrisome.

A sudden fear stabbed at him. "They didn't, like, make you kill anyone or anything like that, did they?"

"What?" Gray's eyes widened and he recoiled a half-step. "No. I was committed to the mission, but not that committed." He shook his head fitfully, a horrified look on his face. "God, Natsu. Don't I already have enough blood on my hands?"

That last sentence made Natsu's heart twist painfully, especially when he noticed Gray involuntarily make that dry-washing motion with his hands again. Natsu was about to tell him to stop, but Gray caught himself and stuffed his hands in his pockets. The two mages stared at each other for a few seconds.

Natsu wanted to badger Gray until his friend told him everything that happened, but he also knew that if Gray wasn't ready to talk, he wasn't going to talk. The ice mage did that sometimes, where he wouldn't want to talk immediately after something had happened but would seek Natsu out a few days or weeks later, like after the Games. But Natsu also knew that their friendship was on the rocks right now, so he wasn't sure that Gray actually would come to him if he needed help. Natsu felt that he should at least try one more time, because he wasn't sure if this was his last chance to get him to talk.

"Gray–"

"Not right now, Natsu," Gray said, shaking his head firmly. "I don't want to talk about it. Besides, it's not the main problem here."

Natsu sighed in defeat, but was also apprehensive because Gray was obviously already torn up about the nightmares and Avatar. What could possibly be worse?

"Then…What was it that you were saying about your father?"

Pain flashed across Gray's face and Natsu immediately knew that something was very, very wrong. He didn't know what it could be since Gray's father had been dead for years, but something had definitely happened.

"Natsu, one of the Demon Gates…" Gray trailed off as his voice wavered dangerously, and he took a deep breath in preparation to try again. "One of the Demon Gates was a necromancer."

Natsu didn't make the connection at first, but there was something about the way Gray had said it, had injected so much meaning into that statement, that made him examine it more closely. Yeah, he did vaguely recall something about a necromancer. Keyes, was it? That creepy guy Juvia had taken out. He still didn't know what that had to do with someone who had been dead for–

His eyes widened. "There's no way," he said, stunned. "That's impossible. Tell me that you aren't saying what I think you're saying."

He searched Gray's face for any sign that this wasn't as bad as he thought it was, but Gray just stared back sorrowfully, his dark eyes clouded with unshed tears.

"You remember…you remember when you told me that one of them smelled like me? That was–that was–"

"No," Natsu whispered.

He remembered that man, the one who had smelled like Gray, the one who had shown him and Lisanna the barest of kindnesses when the other demons had treated them like trash. He remembered how Gray had mentioned his father when he had shown up to help fight Mard Geer. Natsu had noticed all that and had thought it might be important. He had meant to ask Gray about it, but then Igneel had…Igneel had died, and Natsu had been too caught up in his own grief to really worry about his friend.

"You aren't the only one who lost your father again," Gray said brokenly.

"Your father…was one of the Demon Gates?" Natsu asked stupidly, still trying to process that.

Gray swiped the back of his hand across his eyes and stared vacantly at a point somewhere off to Natsu's left.

"Yeah," he whispered. "But he wasn't a demon. I mean, he pretended to be, at first." He let out a choked laugh. "He told me–he told me he was Deliora, actually. But I've faced that demon before and I watched it die, and I knew it wasn't true. I knew he was my father, but he was still–still an enemy, so I fought him anyway."

Gray looked back at Natsu with haunted eyes and his tears finally spilled over. For a moment Natsu was caught up in that heartbroken gaze, unable to look away, but a slight movement caught his attention. He glanced down to see that Gray was rubbing his hands together again, furiously this time, so hard that Natsu almost expected to see him rub the skin off.

"And I killed him."

Natsu's head jerked up and he met Gray's eyes once more. Gray's entire body was shaking and his eyes were filled with so much raw pain that it hurt to look at.

"No," Natsu breathed. Gray would never ever forgive himself for that.

"I didn't kill the necromancer, but it didn't matter," Gray continued, his words as sharp and jagged as knives. "My magic didn't work, but I–I threw a metal ball through his chest. When he asked me to just finish him off, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it, but it didn't matter because I killed him all the same.

"And that was bad enough. God, it was terrible to think that I had to take out my father because he was our enemy, because the person I loved had somehow become evil enough to work with demons." Gray let out a strangled sob and finally tore his hands apart long enough to cover his face. "But it was so much worse than that."

Natsu couldn't imagine any way things could possibly be worse than that, and he wasn't sure that if such a way existed, he wanted to hear about it. He had been enough of a mess watching Igneel die, but at least he hadn't had to fight his father. He hadn't had to feel like he was killing him.

"Because he wasn't!" Gray wailed.

He swayed slightly as if his knees might give out, and Natsu hurriedly stepped forward to wrap his arms around him. Gray leaned on him heavily and dropped his head so that he could hide his face on Natsu's shoulder. The dragon slayer could already feel his tears seeping through the fabric.

"He wasn't evil, he hadn't been turned into a demon, he hadn't wanted to work with Tartaros. He hated Tartaros. That goddamn necromancer found his body after Deliora–after Deliora… And he just used his damned magic to raise him up. And my father ended up learning devil slayer magic. Do you know why, Natsu?"

Natsu shook his head soundlessly, even though Gray couldn't see him. He tightened his grip on his friend even further, as if he could protect Gray from the world if only he could hold him close enough. Resting his chin on Gray's bowed head, he closed his eyes and tried to ignore his own tears.

"Because he hated demons so damn much," Gray whispered. "Because he knew my mother had been killed by one and because he thought–he thought that I had been too. He thought I died that night, and he didn't know any different until he saw me at the Games. He learned devil slayer magic so that he could kill demons in revenge for what they did to me and my mother, but I wasn't even dead. I wasn't even–

"All this time…Over ten years—even more than that, actually, because of Tenrou…All this time he thought I was dead, and he was miserable and he hunted demons because that's all he could do and I didn't know! I didn't know," he sobbed. "I was so messed up after Deliora, and this whole time he was the same way. I don't want to think that he hurt as much as I did, Natsu. I don't want to think that. I don't want to think that anyone else could hurt that much."

Natsu held on to Gray and cried silently. The whole story was bad, it was terrible to hear, but those last few lines truly broke his heart because there was so much painful truth there. Although he didn't really think that Gray's father had hurt half as much as his son, because Gray carried around more pain in his heart than anyone else Natsu knew.

"And in the end we just waited for the necromancer to die because I couldn't–I couldn't make myself give the killing blow," Gray added in a low, tear-choked voice. "But I couldn't think of a single thing to say. There was so much I could have told him, so much I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't make myself say any of it. And then he gave me his magic and he was gone. He was just…gone. Again."

Natsu shuddered slightly, because that sounded much too similar to his own experience with Igneel's death. He had just found his father again after so many years of searching and there had been so much he had wanted to say, but instead Igneel had died right in front of him, and there was nothing Natsu could do about it. Natsu didn't have the time to tell Igneel any of the things he wanted to. That had hurt, and he didn't like to think that Gray had undergone something similar.

"But he was already dead, really," Gray choked out. "He died when Deliora ripped my home apart. And God, I mourned for him then. I already mourned for everyone I lost back then, and now I have to mourn all over again. Just when I finally thought I was getting better…

"I was finally getting better, Natsu. I still hurt, I was still sad, but I had Fairy Tail and I had you, and you were helping me finally start letting go. But then you left and Fairy Tail disbanded and everything came back to haunt me again and I couldn't–I couldn't handle it."

Gray jerked back suddenly, startling Natsu into letting him go. The ice mage stared at him with anguished eyes.

"It never ends, does it?" he whispered brokenly.

Natsu didn't like the sound of that. "What?" he asked thickly.

Gray waved his hands in the air in a vague gesture. "Any of it. I know I've screwed up, I know I'm not always a great person, but why won't it stop?" he asked, his voice wavering as fresh tears sprang to his eyes. "Every time I think I'm getting better, something else always happens. I told you that I can't keep losing people, and I just keep losing more and more. Some of them I've even managed to lose more than once. And even though you weren't dead, it still felt like I lost you and Fairy Tail too, and it was just like before, when Deliora took everything from me. It felt like it did then, when everyone I loved was gone and I had nothing left."

That was the moment when it struck Natsu what it really was that he had done to Gray by leaving. Now he understood why Gray was so upset. He could still remember when they had talked on Gray's first birthday after Galuna, could still remember his friend's words: 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But everyone I loved was dead and I had nothing left and I had no reason to live, and I wanted to die…I don't always want to die anymore, but I don't always want to live either.'

Natsu let out his breath with a hiss and stared at Gray, horrified. He hadn't known. God, he hadn't known. If he had known this had happened, if he had known that this was how Gray would feel, he would never have left, no matter how broken up he was about Igneel. He suddenly felt sick, wondering how close he had come to pushing Gray over that edge again. How close had he come to killing his best friend? Part of Natsu needed to know, but he was terrified to find out. Which was probably just as well, because no matter how betrayed Gray might feel, he would never tell Natsu if he had done that much damage. Natsu would never know.

He needed to say something to make this right, but when he opened his mouth, a different thought automatically sprang to his lips. "God, your birthday must have been so bad last year."

Gray's gaze slid away from his face. "Yeah," he said quietly.

"As bad as after Galuna?"

"Worse. Much worse."

Which would make sense to think about since Gray would have just lost his father again, which would double the pain of that anniversary. But Natsu also couldn't imagine how much worse it could have gotten.

"I'm sorry," he said brokenly, heedless of his own tears. "I didn't know. If I'd known then I wouldn't have left. I'm so, so sorry."

"Don't cry, Natsu," Gray whispered. "What did I tell you about the crying?"

"Not to do it," Natsu responded automatically.

He rubbed at his eyes and tried to force the tears to stop because he knew that Gray didn't want to see him cry. He had already hurt Gray enough, so he should at least be able to do this one simple thing for his friend. That didn't mean it was easy though. He tried to pull himself together, but although he managed to stop the tears, he knew that Gray could still read the regret and guilt in his eyes.

"It's okay, Natsu," Gray said tiredly. "Erza came to see me about infiltrating Avatar shortly afterwards, and it gave me something to focus on other than…all that." He pursed his lips and some of his earlier bitterness returned to tinge his next words. "And really, after everything I did, it almost felt like I belonged in Avatar anyway."

Natsu tried to puzzle out that last piece. Gray was hardly evil and had nothing in common with dark guild mages. The only reason he might feel as if he belonged in Avatar—deserved to be in Avatar—was if…

Natsu's mouth twisted in a pained grimace. "You're nothing like them," he said harshly. "And you sure as hell didn't deserve to be stuck with them, no matter what you may have had to do in the past. And you especially don't deserve it because of what happened with your father. You're better than that. And whatever they did to you…Don't you dare think that you deserved it."

Gray just stared at him expressionlessly, as if his earlier outburst had left him drained of emotion. He shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. If nothing else, Avatar took my mind off things for a while. And then you showed up and now everyone's back together and everything's okay again," he said wearily.

"That's not true and you know it."

He didn't like seeing Gray so drained and empty. This whole conversation had continually veered from drained to overly emotional and back again, and Natsu just wanted Gray to find some middle ground. He wanted Gray to be happy.

Gray shrugged. "Well, it's going to have to be."

"You're not okay, Gray. I know it and you know it too. Things aren't going to magically get better now. And I know that part of it is my fault, but… God, why didn't you just tell me? If you told me then I wouldn't have left."

Gray suddenly drew himself up to his full height and glared at him with flashing eyes. Natsu was almost glad that he was angry again because at least it meant that he wasn't so flat or sad anymore, but he also wasn't sure exactly what to make of the sudden mood swing.

"Why didn't I tell you?" Gray repeated, scowling at the dragon slayer. "When did I have time to tell you? First we were fighting a goddamn demon, which isn't exactly a great time to be like, 'hey, by the way, I just killed my already-dead father. Just thought you should know'. And then we were doing all the cleanup and taking care of the aftermath. And then you just left without saying anything. Tell me, Natsu, when could we have had that conversation?"

Natsu wilted a little, still feeling bad about the whole situation. "Okay, you're right. That's my fault. But couldn't you have at least told someone else so that you weren't dealing with it all alone? I'm sure you could have talked to someone before everyone went their separate ways after the disbandment. And weren't you with Juvia for a while? Why didn't you just talk to her?"

Gray was already shaking his head. "Juvia was the one who killed the necromancer, which is what…released my father. She already felt terrible about that. There was no way in hell I was going to have another breakdown about my father on her and make her feel even worse. And besides," he added, his anger flaring up again, "I didn't need Juvia. I needed you.

"You were the one who snapped me out of it on Galuna. You were the one who hunted me down afterwards and wouldn't leave me alone until I told you what was wrong. You were the one who agreed to go on a stupid road trip with me and who always suggested we go on another if you knew I was upset. You were the one who tracked me down on my birthday to figure out what was wrong with me. You were the one who I told all this stuff to, the only one who knew.

"The others don't even know that I'm so screwed up, Natsu. That's my fault because I never told them, because I didn't want them to know. But don't you see? You were the only one who knew. You were the only one who understood. Don't you see why it had to be you?"

Natsu opened his mouth, needing to say something to defuse the situation, but Gray kept right on talking, his voice rising in volume.

"But you just left. God, at least Lucy got a note, not that that's much better. She was pretty damn upset over it and you owe her an apology. But at least she got something. You didn't even bother telling me that you were leaving, note or otherwise. You didn't even say anything to me. I thought we were friends!"

Natsu's eyes widened and he took a half-step backwards. "Of course we're friends," he said, hurt that that would even be called into question. He grimaced slightly and let his gaze fall to the ground so that he didn't have to see Gray's angry expression anymore. "I left Lucy a note because I wasn't sure that she would get it. I didn't leave you one because I thought…I thought you'd understand without it."

There was a pause, and for a few seconds Gray didn't speak. Natsu stared at his feet and tried to figure out how he had misjudged the situation so terribly, how he had managed to screw everything up.

"I did," Gray said finally, his voice quiet. Natsu looked up quickly. All of Gray's anger had disappeared, and now he just looked tired and sad again. "At first I was shocked and upset, but when I thought about it, I wasn't even that surprised anymore. And I do understand. I know how upset you were over what happened to Igneel, and I'm not surprised that you needed some time off and did your training thing again."

He tilted his head downward so that his hair shadowed his face. "That's why I didn't want to fight you. That's why I didn't tell you I was upset. Because I felt bad that I was mad at you for something that wasn't really your fault, and I knew that it wasn't fair to you. I thought that it would go away on its own eventually, that I'd get over it without ever having to have this conversation with you. I know that you were hurting too, that you had your own problems to deal with. I'm just being selfish."

Natsu sighed softly. He didn't want Gray to think that it was selfish of him to want help or companionship. He didn't want Gray to think that he didn't have the right to come to Natsu when he was unhappy or confront him when he was upset.

"Maybe. But maybe I was being selfish too, running off without saying a word to anyone. I know I left and ended up breaking my promise, but I was always going to come back, Gray. I was never going to leave you for good."

"I know," Gray said quietly. "I know." He glanced up again, a melancholy look on his face as he met Natsu's gaze. "I really was happy to see you again," he added in a small voice. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Natsu replied wistfully. He hesitated a moment. "Gray?" The ice mage arched an eyebrow in question, so Natsu pressed on uncertainly. "You didn't–you didn't really mean it earlier, did you? When you said that we didn't need to fix things?"

Gray frowned thoughtfully and didn't reply immediately. The silence made Natsu nervous because after all of this, he didn't think he could bear it if Gray really thought that their friendship wasn't worth saving.

"Remember when you told me that you used to think some things were too broken to fix?" Natsu asked, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice. "And then you said that you didn't really think that anymore? Can't we fix this?"

Gray sighed and studied him tiredly. "I said that because it was what you needed to hear," he replied quietly. "And maybe because it was what I needed to hear too."

Natsu felt like the air got knocked out of him all at once, and he clenched his fists uselessly. "Gray, you don't really think–"

Gray shook his head sharply, and Natsu broke off.

"I think that it's very possible that some things are just too broken to fix. I might be one of them, but I don't think that our friendship is."

That made Natsu partly relieved and partly worried. He was relieved because Gray was saying that he wanted to give their friendship another try because he still cared about Natsu and thought that what they had was worth saving. But he was also worried and sad because he didn't want Gray to give up on himself.

"You're not," he disagreed. "Give me a chance. I was doing a pretty good job up until the whole Tartaros thing. I can do this."

Gray hesitated a moment, debating whether or not to say something, but then sighed. "Well, if we're going to fix things then that needs to be the first thing we correct."

Natsu frowned in confusion, not understanding. "What?"

"Look," Gray started, considering his words carefully. "It's true that I was upset that you left, but that's not the only reason. It's not even the main reason, really. I mean, you didn't even know about all the stuff that happened to me, so I could only be so mad, you know?"

"Oh God, what else did I do?" Natsu asked apprehensively, his mind racing to find any other possible reason that Gray might be mad at him.

But Gray didn't look angry right now. He just looked sad.

"I needed you, Natsu, but why didn't you need me?"

Natsu froze, his mind grinding to a halt. "What?" he asked stupidly.

Gray slouched down a little and his gaze dropped to the ground. "I saw what happened to Igneel," he said quietly. "And I've been watching out for you every year around his disappearance, and any other time I've noticed that you're lonely because he's gone. I've done it for years, since even before Galuna, and you know it. You think I didn't know that you were devastated? You think that I wasn't devastated? I even went with you on some of your quests to look for him, and God, I wanted you to find him. And when you finally did find him after all those years, he died right in front of you.

"If I stood by you through all that, why did you think that I wouldn't want to be there for you through this too?"

Natsu stared at him, stunned, and his eyes slowly filled with tears that he hurriedly tried to blink away. Even after he had left, even after he had abandoned Gray to deal with the loss of his father and all his other issues alone, Gray was still more worried about Natsu than about himself.

"I needed you too," Natsu admitted finally, his unshed tears obscuring his view of his friend. "I guess I just didn't…I don't even know."

Gray shrugged slightly. "I guess maybe I'm being presumptuous. I was pretty torn up at that point too, so maybe I wouldn't have been that much help. I guess I just thought that maybe it would be better if we did it together instead of trying to handle everything by ourselves."

The indirect reminder of what had happened to Gray's father snapped Natsu out of his daze, and he quickly forced back the tears at the corners of his eyes and smoothed out his expression. This really wasn't the time or place to mourn for Igneel again. Gray was still upset too and he needed Natsu. Natsu had screwed up and left him behind before, and right now he owed it to his friend to be there for him.

"It's okay, I–"

"Natsu," Gray interrupted. The dragon slayer immediately broke off and regarded his friend apprehensively. "It's okay to be sad."

"Well yeah, but right now we're talking about you and–"

"You still don't get it," Gray broke in, giving Natsu a weary, melancholy look. "Look, you know how you just started talking about fixing me again? That's what you've been trying to do ever since Galuna. Once you found out how messed up I was, you started this…mission to fix me. And I appreciate it, really, and maybe I need that.

"But Natsu, what good does it do if you don't let me return the favor?"

Natsu stared at him blankly. "I don't understand."

Gray smiled faintly. "I know you don't, but if you want to fix things between us then this is something you're going to have to understand. You know how when we talked on my birthday you said that you felt like a terrible friend? How am I not supposed to feel that way too in this situation?"

Natsu opened his mouth to protest—after all, he had been the one who had broken his promise and run off—but Gray's eyes flared with sudden irritation, and he subsided. He thought that maybe he should just hear his friend out and then make comments at the end. Gray's irritation melted away, leaving his eyes sad again.

"You've been trying so hard to fix me that you sometimes forget that I was looking out for you first. I've been 'fixing' you since before you even knew that there was anything wrong with me. You're always so careful to look for signs when I'm getting unhappy again and you're stubborn as hell until I tell you what's wrong. Since Galuna, I've come to you about everything major that goes on, or you come to me."

Gray sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "And yeah, we still go on jobs and things around the anniversary of Igneel's disappearance or when I can tell that you're missing him, but when something major finally happened you ran away, Natsu. It's like I'm allowed to help you when anything minor is going on, but all bets are off when it's actually important.

"And I get it, to an extent," he continued, his mouth twisting bitterly. "I know that I scared you half to death with what I almost did on Galuna and that I freaked you out with some of the things I said afterwards. God knows if you said even half of that stuff to me, I would put you on an around-the-clock suicide watch." He snorted, but Natsu could tell that he was only half joking. "But it's not necessary, really. You seem to think that I'm going to break again if you so much as breathe on me wrong. I'm pretty screwed up, there are times when almost anything can send me over the edge, but I'm not usually as fragile as you think I am.

"You're right that I have a lot more problems than you do. I'm a lot more broken, a lot more scared, a lot more depressed at times. But Natsu, that doesn't mean that you need to try hiding all of your own problems so that you can take care of mine. Remember, I handled watching out for you long before you started this mission of yours, and I did fine.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me, but don't you understand yet? It's not supposed to be about fixing me, Natsu. This is supposed to be about both of us. Not letting me do my part only makes me feel worse about everything. And things were okay before because I could still tell when you were upset and we could go take care of it together, but… You left this time, Natsu. I was supposed to be there for you when something that devastating happened, but you left. Why? Why didn't you trust me to help you like you helped me?"

He fell silent and stared at Natsu forlornly, and the dragon slayer's eyes widened as all the pieces finally started falling into place.

"Oh," he said.

He had been concerned because it had seemed like Gray was resetting the boundaries of their relationship, putting that closeness they had shared off-limits, but now he could see that in Gray's eyes, Natsu was the one who had restricted the boundaries. Natsu was the one who had left as soon as something major had happened, effectively saying that it wasn't Gray's place to help.

Friendships were two-way streets. Natsu had harassed Gray until he had finally opened up and let him in, and Gray had expected a measure of the same from him. For a time it had been alright because Natsu had been there for Gray all the times he'd fallen into depressive phases and Gray had been there for Natsu any time the dragon slayer was feeling particularly upset about Igneel or anything else. There had been a balance of sorts. Sure, Gray was usually the one who needed more comforting, but that was because he had a lot more problems, a lot more insecurities and guilt, and his past had come back to haunt him more than once.

For the most part, nothing too major had happened to Natsu, but Gray would have expected to be there for him if it did. And then something major had happened and instead of going to Gray like he should have, Natsu had left instead. If Gray didn't think that Natsu trusted him when it counted, then no wonder he hadn't wanted to tell him anything important once he had finally come back. Gray would have felt that if he didn't have the right to comfort Natsu when the dragon slayer most needed him, then he didn't have the right to expect any comfort from Natsu either.

Gray might have ended up restricting the boundaries even more afterwards, but he wasn't the one who had reduced their bond into a mere acquaintanceship—Natsu was. He hadn't realized that he'd been doing it, he hadn't meant to do it, but the damage had been done all the same.

"I think I understand," he said quietly. "Gray, I'm sorry."

Gray hesitated for a moment, before sighing and dropping his eyes to the ground. "I'm sorry too, flame brain."

Natsu started and blinked at him uncomprehendingly for a second, then felt a smile work its way across his face. "Been a long time since I've heard that."

Gray looked up and offered him a half-smile in return. It was still a little sad, still a little hurt, but it was there.

"There must be stranger things to miss, but I can't think of many," he commented wryly.

"Ha, you'd miss it too if I stopped calling you by nicknames," Natsu shot back.

Gray's eyes dimmed. "Sorry."

Natsu bit his lip. He didn't want to make Gray feel bad again.

"It's okay. Hey, maybe we should go on a job after this?" he suggested uncertainly, not sure how the offer would be taken now that things were different.

"We're too busy now," Gray said, frowning and shaking his head. "We still need to rebuild the guild and find Jii-chan."

"We could make it a short job," Natsu wheedled.

Gray snorted and rolled his eyes. "Try explaining that to Erza."

"Erza can be reasonable," Natsu said. Gray arched an eyebrow. "Well, okay, she might not be too happy about having us run off for no apparent reason, but–"

Natsu paused, took a couple steps to the left so that Gray wasn't blocking his view anymore, and narrowed his eyes at the sight before him. He had been vaguely aware that all the bystanders had fled pretty quickly when he and Gray had started fighting, but he had been so distracted that he hadn't even realized that anyone else had shown up.

"Hey, you know how I told you that one day you were gonna have to tell everyone else about all the stuff that's been going on with you?"

Gray's eyes narrowed warily. "Why?"

Natsu nodded his head at a point behind Gray. The ice mage blinked at him for a second and then spun around.

"Oh hell," he said. "How long have they been there?"

Natsu didn't know how he had missed half of Fairy Tail standing on the sidewalk nearby, watching them. Erza was in the front, a slightly shell-shocked look on her face. Lucy was hugging Happy tightly to her chest, and Levy had latched on to one of her arms. All of them were teary-eyed. Even Loke had materialized and was standing on Lucy's other side, his eyes hidden by his tinted glasses. Juvia looked like she had been bawling silently, and Cana had even abandoned her booze to watch Gray with a distraught expression. Wendy was clutching Charle and looked like she had been crying as well, and Mira was standing nearby with her eyes filled with tears and her hands pressed over her mouth as Lisanna hovered by her side. Even Gajeel, Laxus, and the Raijinshuu were there, all with varying degrees of horror and uneasiness written on their faces.

"I…don't know," Natsu admitted. Although judging by all the tears, he suspected that they had probably been here for at least part of Gray's story about his father.

Gray gave him a disbelieving look. Natsu thought that he might be starting to regret his flippant comment about the suicide watch right about now.

"How in the world did you not see them?" he demanded.

"You didn't see them either," Natsu protested sulkily.

"I was facing the opposite direction. You were looking right at them."

"Sorry, I guess I was a little bit distracted," he said sheepishly.

Gray just shook his head. "I don't know why you couldn't just ambush me at my apartment like usual instead of accosting me in the middle of the street." Then he sighed. "Some things never change. Good to know that you're still an oblivious idiot at heart."

Natsu smirked. "Maybe, but you love me anyway."

He had thought that the teasing would be acceptable now that they were no longer overtly upset with each other, but Gray's face immediately fell and Natsu's heart sank. Maybe they weren't as close to fixing things as he had thought. He immediately wanted to smack himself in the face when he saw his friend's eyes slowly fill with tears.

"Yeah," Gray said finally, his voice wavering slightly.

Natsu froze for a second and then almost wanted to start bawling. Instead, he let his eyes drift back towards the rest of Fairy Tail. "And you love them too," he said past the lump in his throat.

"Yeah," Gray said again in a small voice.

"I know this is all going to lead back to how you don't want to see them hurting because of you, but we knew this was going to have to happen eventually," Natsu pressed gently. "It's the same thing you were just talking about with me—you've spent so long trying to help them, but you never let them have the same opportunity. That's not very fair, is it?"

Gray shook his head reluctantly, but still didn't look pleased at this turn of events.

"You did help them, didn't you?" Natsu asked softly, making sure that Gray could acknowledge what he had done for them.

The ice mage hesitated and glanced back at them, biting his lip.

"Come on, Gray," Natsu insisted. "You already told me this. What was all that about how you didn't want to make friends when you first came to the guild but you ended up gravitating towards the people you realized were hurting? You've been looking out for them ever since you joined Fairy Tail. You took care of them instead of taking care of yourself. Isn't that what you said? That needs to change."

Gray still looked torn, but the others were finally shaking off their stunned stupor.

"Well, he was my first real friend at the guild," Cana said. "And goodness knows he's stuck by me a long time. He's sat with me more than once when I was upset, and he's always getting me out of trouble when I get drunk." She eyed him sadly. "I didn't know," she added quietly.

Gray winced and looked away.

"Funny, but he ended up looking out for me too," Loke commented steadily. "Even though I was older—a lot older, honestly—and he didn't know anything about what I was or what I had done. I don't know how he could tell how guilty I felt or how he always seemed to know when I was the unhappiest, but he did." He set his lips in a thin line. "And I didn't know much of anything either."

Gray hunched his shoulders.

"He was always making sure that I was okay after Lisanna…after we thought that Lisanna was dead," Mira said tearfully, grabbing onto her younger sister and holding her tightly. "And I had no idea."

Gray swallowed hard and clenched his hands into fists so that his fingernails were digging into the palms of his hands.

"He was one of my first friends in the guild other than Natsu and Happy," Lucy whispered, swiping at her eyes with one hand and keeping Happy held tightly with the other. "He always made me feel welcome and made sure that I was doing alright. And even though I saw some of what happened on Galuna Island, I didn't know it was this bad."

Gray shifted uncomfortably and shuffled a half-step back.

"Gray-sama made Juvia's rain stop," Juvia added, her voice almost a wail. "She knew that Gray-sama was upset about his father but she did not realize that he was even more upset than she knew and was trying to hide it to protect her!" She buried her face in her hands, tears leaking out from between her fingers.

Gray grimaced and tilted his head so that his hair obscured his face from view.

"He was my first friend at Fairy Tail too," Erza said finally, her voice soft. She narrowed her eyes and glanced away in a bid to stop the tears from escaping. "He was so annoying at first, but then he found me crying down by the river and sat with me so that I didn't have to be alone. And maybe I could tell that something was bothering him from time to time, but not like this. I never knew this."

Gray flinched back and wrung his hands helplessly.

"He sure was annoying when I first met him," Natsu said quietly, watching him sadly. "But he always seemed to know when I was down and lonely, and he'd always do what he could. And he was the best friend I ever had. I knew a lot more than everyone else, but there's a lot that I didn't know until today."

Gray made a strangled sound in the back of his throat and covered his face with his hands.

Natsu hadn't heard most of these stories until today, but he couldn't say that he was surprised. Gray hadn't been kidding when he had said that he always ended up looking after other people instead of taking care of himself. He just needed to learn that it was okay to let other people return the favor.

"I told you, we want to be there for you in the good times and the bad. I know that you don't want to see us upset, but surely by now you must realize that this is what friends are for. You celebrated with us when we were happy and comforted us when we were sad. Let us do the same for you."

Gray finally dropped his hands away from his face and looked up. His pale face was streaked with tears, and he stared at them helplessly.

"I–I don't–" He broke off and shook his head.

"You can take some time to go on jobs if that's what you need," Erza told him quietly. "But first…Won't you let us help you? You've done so much, Gray. It's our turn, but we won't know what to do unless you tell us what's wrong."

Gray looked at her for a moment and then switched his gaze back to Natsu, as if asking him for help.

"You were wrong earlier, you know, when you said that you were being selfish," Natsu said. "You might be one of the least selfish people I've ever met. You're always giving to other people, aren't you? Usually I'd say that you need to stop giving so much and start worrying about yourself instead, but this is important. Give them what they need, Gray."

The ice mage stared at him miserably. "I wouldn't even know where to start."

"You don't have to tell them all the details of everything." Natsu was sure that there were things Gray had said, things about life and death, for example, that he wasn't ready to share with the others yet. And that was okay, because this was just a start. "But they need to know the basics. Tell them about how you weren't doing so well for the past several years. Tell them about what happened on Galuna and about the aftermath."

He paused and frowned. "I'm going to assume that you didn't tell them about everything with your death?"

Gray shook his head and averted his eyes. "Juvia knows some of it since she was there, but I never told her about Ultear."

"Well then tell them about your death and about what happened to Ultear. And for God's sake, Gray, tell them about your birthday."

Gray's eyes snapped back to his face, and Natsu could read the reluctance there.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," he said. "You didn't take it very well."

"Of course I didn't take it well," Natsu replied grimly. "I don't think there is a way to take it well. But they deserve to know, don't they?"

Gray hesitated, and Natsu could tell that he was wavering on the brink, half inclined to walk away and half inclined to stay and share.

"Tell them," he urged gently.

Gray stared at him, clearly torn, and Natsu waited nervously. This was the moment of truth, so to speak. Either he would speak up now or the moment would be lost. And it concerned Natsu for more selfish reasons as well, because he thought that Gray's choice might reflect something of the state of their friendship right now. If a scene like this had played out a year ago, he thought that he could have convinced Gray to tell the others what was going on, because his friend had listened to him. Natsu wasn't sure if Gray was quite ready to go back to that kind of relationship yet.

"It's okay," he said softly, seeing the indecision and fear reflected in his friend's eyes. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"Sometimes promises are made to broken," Gray replied. He didn't sound angry or accusatory, just sad and apprehensive.

Natsu bit his lip, knowing that he didn't have the best track record here.

"You said that you knew I always meant to come back even though I left?" he asked, recalling something from their previous conversation. Gray nodded wordlessly. "That's a promise. I didn't come out and say it, but you knew it anyway. Who knows? Maybe there will be times when I have to leave, so maybe that's not a promise I can keep. But I can promise that even if I have to leave, I'll always come back for you."

Gray swallowed and looked away, blinking back tears.

"I'm here right now. I know it's scary, I know it's something that you've dreaded for a long time. But I'm here, okay? You're not gonna have to do it alone. And that is one of the things you're scared of, isn't it? You've lost so many people, felt lonely too long, that you don't really want to be alone again, no matter what you've tried to tell yourself. But look at them, Gray. Look at them."

Natsu nudged Gray to get him to look back at the gathering of his friends, all watching him with concern. "What happened after Tartaros is a fluke. I'll be damned if we all split up like that again. You're not going to be alone. We're still a family, and family comes with promises built in."

Natsu held his breath as Gray stared at him. He needed Gray to understand, needed Gray to let him back in so that they could figure things out together this time. What he really needed was just some sign that Gray was going to forgive him.

Gray seemed frozen in place as well, but then he slowly took a couple hesitant steps towards Natsu, edging in closer to the dragon slayer in a gesture reminiscent of someone seeking comfort. His body was tensed up and he had an uncertain, vulnerable look on his face, as if he still wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask Natsu for help again.

Natsu wrapped an arm around him and tugged him a little closer. Noticing that Gray's hands were trembling, he grasped one of them in his own free hand to make it stop. Gray stared wordlessly at their joined hands, and Natsu waited to see whether the effort would be accepted or rejected. Then Gray let out his breath in a shuddering sigh and the tension drained out of his body.

He leaned against Natsu and tightened his grip on the dragon slayer's hand, hanging on to it as tightly as if it was a lifeline. He glanced up and their eyes met. Natsu could tell that he was still hurting, still sad, still frightened at the prospect of facing the others. But then he inclined his head slightly in the barest hint of a nod, and Natsu knew that things were going to be alright. Gray looked back over at where the rest of Fairy Tail was waiting with sad and worried faces.

And, taking a deep breath and clinging to Natsu for support, he finally told them his story.

Note: As much as I like to focus on Gray and Natsu here, I thought it was important that everyone else eventually find out about everything that was going on too. You can use your imagination to figure out when exactly the rest of FT showed up and how they managed to stay quiet enough that no one noticed them. As for Memento Mori, I know I expanded on it a little, but I was always a little miffed that the connection was never made that the person who got hit by the curse had actually died before. And before anyone asks, no, I'm not planning on writing another part about whatever happened with Avatar. Sorry, but you're going to have to use your imagination there too.

Speaking of which, I really do think that this is actually the end this time. I found this part to be super emotional and a great way to end everything, and I don't think I'm going to come up with anything better for this. Thank you to everyone who stuck with this project to the end : )

EDIT: It was mentioned that Gray kind of comes off as selfish at the beginning. This is true. Yes, Gray seemed a little selfish, just like Natsu seemed a little selfish by running off without telling anyone. But at the same time, it's not about who is being more selfish or who is more to blame, but about two people trying to make the best of a bad situation. It's also implied that part of Gray's anger towards Natsu just stems from his grief and stress about everything that was going on. You know all those major mood swings he was having? That's a clear sign that he was under a lot of pressure and wasn't coping well. Grief can very easily get translated into anger, even when the grieving person realizes that it might be unreasonable. In other words, Gray was an unstable mess and he wasn't coping well, so even though he knew that Natsu wasn't entirely to blame, he just wasn't able to handle things well and he snapped. I don't think that either Gray or Natsu is being really selfish here. Natsu did what he had to do to cope and then he came back. Gray didn't figure out a way to cope and he eventually had a meltdown. Neither of them handled things that well, but neither of them did anything really wrong either. They were both hurting and they set about trying to cope in ways that conflicted with each other's needs. Yes, in case you couldn't tell, I'm a psych major ._.

((emmahoshi: Yeah, you're right that this idea was originally listed on my profile as a future standalone project, but then I decided to tack it on to this verse instead. I'm also glad that you appreciated the shifting plot dynamics. Wish I could take full credit for that, but the truth is that I kept changing my mind about where this story was going while I was writing it. Every time Natsu has an epiphany and then later has to revise it when he learns something else...Yeah, those were all times that I came up with a new direction to take the piece xD Your comments are, as always, appreciated. In answer to your inquiry, no, I didn't take a class to learn how to write. I'm hardly an expert so I don't know if I'm really qualified to give advice here, but if you really are looking to improve your writing then I suggest that you practice a lot and read a lot. Pick something you care about to write, and play around with the words, dialogue and descriptions. Anyway, good luck with your writing, thanks again for all the reviews, and have a nice day : ) ))