HAT: Been a while since I've done a good ol' fashioned humor, but lets see if my funny bone's still strong (even though my very being wants to turn this into angst right out the gate).

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls, just this plot.

Somehow Mabel convinced him to look up his own name on Google- she said it'd be fun.

He didn't expect to find a long list of crime that he allegedly committed. He's both surprised and unsurprised at seeing so many petty crimes- they seem to outweigh anything major, it seems.

He decides he's gonna have a chat with his brother about it and even prints off ten pages (why were there so many pages?!) to show his brother.

It was almost as if he sensed Stanford was going to confront him about something because Stanley was no where to be found. He would keep missing his twin just by a few minutes. Needless to say it was infuriating. He had hoped Stan's strange ability to avoid him when Ford almost desperately wants to find him would fade away over the past forty years. It did not.

"Stanley!" Ford shouts when he finally catches sight of him exiting the bathroom.

"Oh, 'sup, Ford," Stan says with a wave. "What's up?"

"Would you care to explain this?" Ford asks, shoving the papers in his face.

Stan looks at it and skims through the ten pages. "This is a list of crimes. All of them minor. There, explained. Y'know for a smart guy, you're slow sometimes."

Ford face palms and growls a little to himself. "I found these on the internet under my name."

"Uh-huh," Stan grunts dismissively as he walks past him.

Ford follows after him and shakes the papers in his hands. "This isn't even a quarter of what you've done, apparently."

"Yup, I did a lot," Stan nods while grabbing two mugs from the cabinet in the kitchen and starting the process of making hot chocolate.

"What haven't you done under my name?"

"Uhhhhh…."

"Does it really take that much thought?" Ford asks with his shoulders slumping.

"Gimme a minute, Sixer, there's a lot of things outlawed in a lot of places," Stan grumbles.

Ford sighs and places the papers to the side, sitting when his brother does as well. It takes him a moment to realize he's sitting and having hot cocoa with his brother as he tries to think of something he hasn't done under the name "Stanford Pines."

It takes a good ten minutes of nursing their hot chocolate before the silence is broken.

"Stan."

"Hm?"

"You can have my name back."

HAT: Alright, now, before any of you tumblr users go accusing me of thievery, I want to let you know, that this is my story. I've just been keeping my fanfiction account and tumblr account separate until now. Some stories on here will go on there and some stories on there will come here, but only if they fit the vibes I have for the profile. Now just because you see me "active" on there, doesn't mean I'm actually active... the app is both a blessing and a curse to pass the time. Alright, y'all get that?

Dipper: *nods* Okay... so you're gonna update stories on here?

HAT: Of course!~ It's just that at the moment, the stories are slow going because I'm everywhere at once when I am on the internet and when I'm off, I'm all over creation.

Dipper: Ooookay.

HAT: Now that that's out the way... Dipper?

Dipper: Please review!~