"Zero?" I called out hesitantly to the silver haired hunter who had his gun aimed for me, his face made of stone.

Kill him now! You're a Pureblood, dodge the bullet and tear him apart! Feast, eat, kill! KILL!

My heart skipped a beat. I was going to say it.

"I love you."

MANA! KI-

My heart leapt as I heard the gunshot loud and clear, scaring away the birds in the trees and shaking me to my very core. I was trembling on the spot as I waited for death. But I realised that I hadn't been hit. I must be going mad, not that an uncle trying to control me telepathically was helping. I wanted to clench my fists but my fingers were shaking too much. I felt weak as I began to sway with the light breeze, slowly cracking my eyes open. I saw the smoke from Bloody Rose first. The gun was aimed in the air, Zero's finger still around the trigger. There was a hand gripping his wrist. I turned my head to follow its arm and saw a second person. Kaname. The two vampires were staring at one another in the eye. Zero's expression seemed neutral, I couldn't tell if he was angry or annoyed or relieved. Kaname, I couldn't see it clearly, but either way he could mask his emotions better.

I couldn't take much more of it. My legs collapsed beneath me and I hunched over, gripping my head. I couldn't make out Rido's words anymore, it was just this huge cluster of shouting, crooning and demanding. My whole body was shaking as the fact of me almost dying hit me. Zero had pointed that gun at me and pulled the trigger with the intention to kill me. I felt my eyes burn with tears. Was I upset that he was happy to kill me? Or should I be happy that he would have killed me at my request? I don't even know anymore, I just want things to go back to normal!

"Mana."

A pair of hands were on top of mine and I tensed up. The buzz in my head grew louder.

Kill him!

"Mana, come here."

I was being shuffled forward, prodded up so I didn't have to get up but I was kneeling and looking up at Kaname. He pressed his lips to my forehead and I flinched back as the buzzing was cut off. Next thing I knew, he had me in his arms and I tried to look for Zero, only to catch his back disappearing into the woods, in the direction where we had come from. Kaname began carrying me off in the opposite direction and I began reacting violently.

"Zero!" I called as I tried to jump out of Kaname's arms.

He didn't look back as I reached out for him over Kaname's shoulder.

"Zero!"

"Ssh."

Kaname covered my eyes and the last thing I remember that day is darkness as I was forced into a sleep.

I woke to the sound of wheels clacking on rails. I felt groggy and awful, despite waking up on some surprisingly comfy seats. I felt ill, everything around me was moving and it didn't feel right to lie down like this, all alone. I missed Zero, I miss leaning on his shoulder and having his arm around me. I felt protected and safe whenever he did that. Even though it was most likely him being an older brother, I cherished it. I propped myself up, blinking the sleep out of my eyes, and pushed myself back against the wall.

"Good morning."

That voice chilled me to the bone. I didn't want to look across the room, not yet anyway. I sat there quietly, still recovering from the sleep that the other occupant had forced me into. I looked at my lap, spying the black coat that was sprawled out on my legs. I rubbed out the rest of the sleep from my eyes before looking across to see Kaname sitting there, a calm look on his face. It nerved me slightly but it didn't seem like there was a storm on the horizon. I didn't say anything, I just sat properly on the seat, awkwardly holding the coat out to him.

"Keep it, it'll get colder soon."

I hesitated before placing the coat over my knees. I glanced out of the window, watching the countryside fly by. Was this still Japan?

"We'll be arriving shortly, can you walk?"

I nodded sharply, I didn't want to be carried by him again. I wetted my lips before ducking my head.

"Where?"

It was all that I could manage. I felt weak, my knees are wobbling underneath the coat. When had I begun to feel so feeble? I felt pathetic.

"Somewhere safe, somewhere where you won't be found."

I didn't like that answer. I glanced up at him, he was still wearing that calm mask of his. I felt…objectified. Like I was some treasure about to be hauled off to be buried. Be safe, be somewhere where I wouldn't be found. Silence fell between us again and I didn't like it. It was awkward, tense and very uncomfortable. I parted my lips but couldn't think of what I could say. I sat there, probably looking like an idiot, staring at Kaname blankly, as if he had the answer to the secret of the universe. I closed them, nibbling my lip as I tried to work my voice.

"Yuki."

It tumbled out and Kaname blinked once before responding.

"She's very worried but she's safe," he reassured me then glanced out of the window "We're arriving at our stop."

He stood and I shot up to my feet rather hastily. My knees objected and I was falling over. Kaname grabbed my shoulders and steadied me. I flinched and he offered a small smile.

"Easy now."

I felt like an invalid. I was being treated like a glass figurine. A pretty glass figurine that has only one purpose. Stay in one place and look pretty. He didn't pick me up but his hand never left my back, pushing me in the direction that he wanted me to go. I want to be with Zero.

This bed is too big. I sat at the edge of the bed where Kaname had left me, staring at the door. This is my room. This cold, spacious room, is where I'll be sleeping. I shivered and brought my knees to my chest to hug my legs. Kaname's coat lay beside me as I stared at the white carpet. This place is nothing like home. Home, where I could stack my bed with pillows, stolen from around the house. Where I could cover the floor with crappy sketches on those days when I can't decide what to do. Where I could pester Zero. I leant my forehead on my knees.

Mana…

Panic filled me.

Mana…

"Leave me alone," I whispered "Please…"

Mana…

I brought my hands over my ears.

I can make everything better. Just tell me where to go to come and get you. Open up to me, my sweet, little niece.

"Go away…"

"Mana?"

I am never going to get a moment of serenity, am I? I glanced up to see Kaname in front of me, a glass of red liquid in his hand. He offered it to me.

"You need to keep your bloodlust at bay."

I stared at the glass warily before accepting it.

No, don't drink it, Mana!

I shook off the buzz and pressed my lips to the glass.

Drink his blood, Mana! Don't you dare drink that pathetic 'replacement'!

I tipped my head back to drink. It was a mistake, my whole body did not like that decision. The taste had me cringe but my arm jerked and threw the glass aside, spilling the mixture on my clothes, on the bed and on the carpet. Kaname backed off as I gagged, hunching over and hurling the mouthful out. I coughed as I tried to lick my lips, see if I could actually get any into my system.

No, Mana! Don't try to submit! You need real blood, you are a Pureblood! You deserve nothing less!

"Just leave me alone!" I screamed out.

Hands grabbed my face and I was pulled into Kaname. His lips brushed my head and the buzz faded away. He brought me forward, rocking me back and forth.

"We'll find a way, Mana," he said as he rubbed the back of my head "We'll find a way."

I wanted nothing more than to have Zero here instead of him.

I want to draw. I sat in the armchair within the empty living room, staring at the walls. There were no windows. It felt like a prison. I stared at the blank walls, picturing them with different pictures. I was picturing the outside world, fantasy worlds where I could lose myself. Babbling brooks, colourful skies, wide fields that I could just run across. I could spend hours picturing the outside world, being just an arm's reach away from freedom. Until I saw my name written in blood. My throat burned and I pushed myself up to my feet.

Don't bother with those pills, Mana.

"It would help if you stopped whatever it is you're doing to stop me from taking them."

I'm not doing anything, Mana. It is all you. You don't want those pills, you want real blood.

"No, it's all been explained to me, remember?"

Yes, yes, my dear nephew 'explained it all', didn't he? But how do you know who which it is that is acting? Am I provoking you to reject those…supplements? Or are you rejecting them because you know your body needs blood and nothing else?

I covered my ears and shook my head, denying every word. I don't even know how many I killed to drink their blood. But it was difficult to swallow those pills and Rido was so not helping. I needed them to survive, damn it!

You need real blood!

"Shut up," I whispered and shook my head, pacing around the room "Shut up. No, shut up."

I stuck to that mantra whilst trying to block out his voice. I only stopped when I realised I wasn't alone. Dropping my hands, I turned and saw Zero in the doorway, watching me. When he realised I had spotted him, he turned his back and began walking away.

"Zero?!"

I ran after him, the buzz in my mind fading. He marched down the hallway as I chased after him, ready to pounce on his back and hug him tightly. I stopped myself in time, settling for grabbing his arm instead. I dug my heels into the carpet, slowing him to a stop.

"Zero…"

Why did you leave me, was what I wanted to ask. Where have you been? Why have you decided to come now instead of sooner? Are you here to take me away from here? Please say yes to that, I want to leave here. It was silent between us and I moved closer to Zero. I hugged his arm, leaning my head on his bicep and smiling for the first time in a long while.

"I'm here to see Kuran."

I hesitated. Zero made no move to push me away but he wasn't emitting a welcoming aura. Actually, he's always been like that, so that doesn't really matter.

"About?"

"Rido."

I winced as the buzz started in my head.

"Oh."

"Where is he?"

"…Most likely the library."

Normally, my big brother would be around me, observing me and being overall creepy. I gave up conversing with him, just focusing on reading until my creative side began screaming at me to draw something. I never asked Kaname for anything, I didn't want anything from him. Zero pulled his arm out of my grip and pressed a couple of pills into my hand. I looked up at him in alarm as he put his tin away. He then left me, walking off down the corridor and leaving me alone. I felt the tears when they dropped off my chin.

And I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight either.

Tell me where you are so I can come and get you!

"No windows, I can't even begin to describe where I could possibly be…"

Then find a way out! Run away, Mana!

That was a tempting thought.

I'll take care of everything, just find your way out!

"I just want peace," I mumbled.

And you'll get it! Just come back to me!

"I'll just be snatched up again and again," I whispered "I want nothing to do with this family."

Mana…

I opened my eyes at this point and hopped out of bed. I wandered to my private bathroom and stared in the mirror, eyeing the bags that were forming under my eyes. There were two reasons why I couldn't get any sleep. The first one, well, Rido certainly loved to try and probe my tired mind to get me to tell him where I was. The second… I yawned loudly, combing my fingers through my hair. A few nights ago, I sensed someone in my room. I don't know if he noticed that I noticed, but Kaname was watching me sleep. I'm sure of it. Maybe he was observing Rido trying to break me whilst I was asleep? Not that it mattered, it was beyond creepy.

I eyed my reflection wearily, remembering what had happened earlier this morning. I got a papercut and it startled me that the blood stream lashed out and hit the nearby bookcase. Kaname didn't seem surprised but at the time but I was full on panicking that Rido had control over my body now and I was going to be dragged over to him like some puppet. That's when I was reassured that I had inherited the blood whip. Well gee, that information could have been helpful when I was running with Zero.

Mana, find a way out. Come back to me. I'll teach you everything that you could do with your powers.

Alternatively, I could ask Senri for lessons. Rido chuckled dryly in my head.

You deserve a much better teacher.

I am getting sick and tired of this. I glared at my reflection, as if Rido was somewhere in my face. Wait… I blinked in realisation. Somewhere in my face… I raised my hand to my right eye.

Mana, what are you doing?

That reaction made me sure that I was on the right track.

Mana!

I jumped as my left hand grabbed my right wrist, pulling it away from my eye.

Mana, what good are you going to do if you damage yourself?

"I won't have to listen to you anymore," I murmured.

Mana, you're tired. Get some rest, sleep and we can talk in the morning.

Oh, so now he's going to let me get some sleep. Well somehow, I doubt that.

Mana?

I began struggling with the side of my body that wasn't cooperating with me. It made sense now. Putting a part of him in my body so it could manipulate my mind and brain. Well, only one side of my brain. I struggled with myself, staring at the hand that had gripped my wrist so tightly, the blood circulation was starting to cut off. Wait, blood!

Mana!

My claws grew out at my will and I cut my four fingertips with the thumb claw. Four blood whips shot out and one went straight for my eye.

MANA!

Pain blinded me as everything to the right of me disappeared. I screamed as my blood whip ripped the eye out and blood was everywhere. I remembered the pain and agony that night when Rido had done it before and I shrieked even louder as I held my eye socket, the blood whips disappearing. The door opened and hands grabbed my shoulder. I could just about register Kaname asking what happened, if I was alright, et cetera. But I didn't care. Suddenly everything was so quiet. And I passed out from the pain.

I woke up feeling serene. I looked to the right and grimaced when I realised that I had really pulled my eye out.

"Mana?"

I had to turn my head fully to the right to perceive Kaname. He looked upset, reaching out and cupping my cheek.

"Are you alright?"

I didn't answer. I just turned my blind eye to him and buried myself in the covers. I couldn't have felt better. Everything was so peaceful. Like a calm lake on a sunny day. I sensed Kaname leaning over me, pressing his lips to the side of my head.

"Mana?"

I buried my face into the pillows. I didn't want to talk to him. He had other ideas. I heard him move to the other side of the bed, the left side, and leaned over to shake me by the shoulder.

"Mana, could you tell me what happened last night?"

"I took my eye out," I answered simply.

"Why?"

"It wasn't mine to begin with."

His thumb ran circles around my shoulder as there was a pause.

"Mana, tell me more."

I opened my eye to look up at his inquisitive look.

"I had my eye ripped out before by him. I didn't remember until I was turned back but he stuck his own eye into my socket. He was controlling me from it."

"And now?"

I closed my eye and nuzzled the pillows.

"I can't hear him anymore."

There was another pause and I drifted back to sleep.

The rest of the time I spent at that place I used to read and picture different landscapes. Until Kaname approached me one day and announced Rido's death. We could leave this godforsaken place. I felt ecstatic to finally leave but downtrodden to realise Zero wouldn't be travelling with us. I was pushed along again, Kaname's hand firmly on my back as we left that house and made our way to the train station. Reality crashed down on me was we rode off down the tracks.

"Would you prefer a spring or summer wedding?"

I had been admiring the wintery scenery that flowed past us when Kaname asked the question. It took a while to absorb it and I stared at him in alarm. I had completely forgotten that I decided to accept Kaname's proposal to marry him instead of Yuki. Silence stretched out between us as I stared at my fiancé with initial surprise before focusing my eye back to the window.

"I don't mind," I mumbled.

"Spring weddings are nice, I find. Should we consider March?"

I shrugged slowly, looking at the frosted meadows.

"…What is the date today?" I asked softly.

"Second of February."

I glanced at him sharply. He wanted to get married that soon?! Maybe I'm mistaken.

"When you say March…"

"Is it too soon? Would you prefer April?"

He actually meant that he was arranging the wedding to happen within a couple of months. I shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to look at him.

"We hardly know each other…"

"That can change."

I felt the seat move and I realised Kaname had moved to sit next to me. He turned my head towards him and gave me a soft smile.

"It's alright to have cold feet," he said "A lot has happened. There must be a lot that is on your mind."

"You sure you don't want to stick with marrying Yuki? I mean, she has both eyes."

"You saw how close she was with Zero."

And another stab in the heart, expertly done by Mr Douche over here. I flinched away and Kaname brought me closer to him. He placed a hand over my eyepatch.

"It looks adorable," he said and I looked up at him as if he was insane "You wear it better than that vampire hunter."

Yagari? I snorted slightly. Kaname kissed my forehead and drew me into an embrace. I awkwardly shifted in his arms, just focusing on anything else other than him.

"Mana!"

I flinched when I heard my older sister cry out happily and watched as she ran down the stairs to greet us. She froze, arms in the air that were ready to crush me in a hug. She was staring at my eyepatch. We stood there in silence, looking at one another. I felt guilt crush me, the last time I saw her I attacked her. I had shouted abuse at her, declared that I didn't want to be her sister anymore. She couldn't take her eyes off the eyepatch and I huffed, coming up with only one thing to say.

"I know," I sighed exaggeratedly, brushing my hair back to rub my head "It's such a pain. But on the plus side, no-one is going to mistake one of us for the other."

She looked surprised at this and I felt very embarrassed. Acting cool now after what happened seemed inappropriate but before I could feel any more embarrassed, she giggled. She smiled at me then hugged me tightly.

"I'm so glad that you're alright," she murmured as I stood there awkwardly "I missed you, Mana."

I reached around and patted her back.

"Yeah…me too."

I stared at the cup of tea in front of me as Yuki chatted away excitedly. She was talking about the tutoring she was receiving and other things that I didn't exactly process. I just felt out of place in this pretty greenhouse, surrounded by plants and having a view of the garden. I felt even more out of place as I looked at the pretty looking cakes and other sweet things on the platter in front of me, and with a tea set that probably belonged in an oversized doll house! Yuki fitted in perfectly, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I hadn't changed out of my travel clothes yet and not to mention, I had an eyepatch. I probably looked like some odd assassin who couldn't bother to blend in.

"So I think it would be best to have a summer wedding."

I am starting to really hate that word now. Wait, what? I glanced at my sister, comprehending her words for the first time as she leaned on the table with a dreamy sigh.

"Kaname-nii-sama is probably too busy to think about managing our wedding," she said with a shy smile "So I think it would be better to have the wedding in the summer, so he can sort things out now that you're safe."

I looked at her with a rather dumbfounded look. She tilted her head curiously.

"Something wrong, Mana?"

"Uh, no, I just forgot that you two were engaged…"

Hadn't he told her? That the reason this whole shebang happened was because I accepted his proposition to switch places with her? So she could be with Zero and Zero could be happy, at least that was why I decided to go through with it. Yuki giggled.

"It's alright, you must have been thinking of more important things," Yuki gave me a reassuring smile and she suddenly straightened up "Oh, I almost forgot! Wait here!"

She bustled away and left me to feel very confused and conflicted. I should have a word with Kaname. At that thought, Seiren walked in with a tray to replenish the platter, Yuki had eaten quite a few cakes.

"Kaname-sama wishes to see you tonight," she murmured.

She left briskly and I clenched my fists.

"Here we are!"

I looked up and blinked as Yuki ran back in with Marigold. She plopped the teddy bear on my lap and she grinned.

"Zero said you really liked her when he won her for you."

I looked up at Yuki sharply.

"When did you see him?" I asked and Yuki sat back down.

"It was a while ago, after Christmas perhaps?"

She shrugged and smiled.

"He wanted you to have her."

"But where did he go? Where is he?"

I clutched Marigold tighter as Yuki shook her head.

"I'm not sure but he'll visit soon," she said "He should, you two were always close."

Yeah sure, we're practically joined at the hip if he refuses to make eye contact and pulls away from me. Yuki looked at the garden, commenting on the weather whilst I gave her a disdainful look. It was she Zero loved and I only ever saw him once after I confessed to him. I hugged Marigold tight to my chest and fought back the tears.

It was quiet in the dimly lit office. I sat opposite Kaname as he filed through paperwork. It was awkward again and Kaname didn't look at me until he finished the pile he was working through, pushing it to the side and placing his hands on the empty space.

"I know some places where you can go shopping," he said and I felt my eyebrow twitch.

"Kaname, Yuki is under the assumption that she's the one going to get married," I said before he could say anything else.

He blinked once as silence stretched between us again. I tilted my head.

"I mean…you…"

"I suppose it slipped my mind," he said as he sat back "It all happened rather quickly, I didn't once consider Yuki. I'll correct it as soon as possible."

"I don't think this is a good idea," I said as I slumped my shoulders.

"Mana…"

"You can say all you want that Yuki and Zero seemed so close but how long ago was that?"

Kaname was quiet as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt.

"Yuki truly loves you," I said "And I don't want to see her unhappy if it means taking away the one man whom she has loved all her life."

Kaname leaned forward, looking me in the eye with a serious look.

"Mana, I truly and unconditionally love you."

My heart stopped as I stared at him in disbelief.

"No you don't."

"I do, Mana. You wanted to stay behind and I wanted to come and get you. I saw how much it hurt you to see Zero with Yuki."

He stood up and walked around the desk to kneel at my side.

"Mana, I want to make you happy. I know it's a selfish request and you have feelings for Zero, but won't you give it a chance?"

"You're practically ushering me to get married to you," I shifted slightly away from him "You're talking about dates next month."

"If you want a later date then just tell me. If we're going to get married, we need to be open to each other."

"Yes but you're not exactly one to talk."

I glared at him.

"All those years you hid away the truth and pulled Yuki around by the nose," I felt my blood boiling "I don't approve of her marrying you but I accept that she loves you. I don't want to pull the carpet out from under her like that!"

"Can't you accept that Zero loves Yuki?"

I flinched again.

"Stop saying that!"

"You want me to hide the truth again, Mana?"

I got up from the chair to get some distance between me and him. He didn't move any closer as I let the tears fall.

"Yuki never rejected Zero," he kept speaking "She has feelings for him. She just doesn't know them yet."

I want him to shut up. My heart can't take any more.

"And you've never told Zero of your feelings which is why he never returned them."

I felt my heart leap. I did tell Zero of my feelings. But Kaname didn't need to know that.

"Mana, it will take time, but let me mend your broken heart."

He was behind me now and I froze up as he embraced me.

"I can't bear to see you hurting."

I hate his manipulation. I hate him.

"…Can I…can I think about it?"

"Of course. Think long and hard."

He kissed the top of my head.

"You'll find the right answer, I'm sure."

He's still watching me sleep. I lay still in the bed, sensing Kaname in the room and listening to his slightly erratic pulse. Was this how the body reacted to love? I certainly didn't watch Zero when he slept. I feel very uncomfortable but I'm too afraid to let him know that I knew he was here. The bed dipped after a while and he kissed my forehead. I felt his hand brush my cheek, just under my eyepatch.

"My Mana…sweet dreams."

The bed bounced slightly when he got up and left the room, the door shutting quietly.

…

…

…

THAT'S IT! I'M OUT OF HERE! I threw the covers off the bed and stormed over to the drawers. Honestly, I will not be treated like a prized possession! Stupid bloodsucker… I began changing into some simple travel clothes and rushed around, tying my hair up and packing my tin of blood pills into my pocket. I peeked my head out of my bedroom door and checked the corridor before sneaking over to Yuki's room. She was sound asleep as I crept over to her vanity and found some money, just enough to get me a train ticket.

"Sorry, sis," I muttered as I tucked that into my other pocket "Desperate times."

I'll pay her back; not like she'll notice. I glanced at her briefly, wondering what had happened to drive us apart. I felt awful, letting something trivial like a guy get in between us. I then returned to my room, it would be too much of a hassle to sneak out through the front doors, and opened one of my windows. It was time to see if Purebloods were really as powerful as they said. I pulled my jacket closer before climbing down the gutter to the ground. I took a deep breath as I turned to face the world. I ran.