(A/N: Heya, heya, heya! This chapter was a request from South Down! Speaking of which, I have received my final request, so the rest of the chapters are mmmostly planned out! Those last 2 are gonna be somethin'. But in the now, y'all have this...yay! And thanks for 50,000+ views on this story!)

Ch. 55: Tak VS Gaz

Summary: After accidentally slighting Gaz, Tak is challenged to a fight.

BRI-RI-I-ING!

"I swear, I hate this place more with each passing week." Tak shut her locker. "How does Ms. Bitters expect us to read that entire 'Watership Down' story in 3 days?"

"AND summarize it! Does she think we don't have LIVES?!" Zim began marching beside her. "We won't have any time left to test that silent, uh...pellet thingy!"

"It's called the 'quiet caplet', AKA the 'quilet'," Tak replied tiredly. "Well, we could always listen to the audiobook...or, one of us could read aloud while the other—AGHH!"

Unfortunately, as the Irken pair was rounding a corner by the Skool exit, they happened to cross paths with the Membrane siblings; Zim bumped into Dib, Tak bumped into Gaz, and all four of them fell on their behinds before locking eyes.

"ZIM!" growled Dib. "Y'know, on Earth, we have this thing called 'watching where you're going'!"

"DIB!" barked Zim. "Trying to interfere with our latest plan again!"

"I wasn't trying to interfere with anything! I've practically ignored you all day!"

"LIAR! I saw you earlier, when you snuck into my classroom, thinking I wouldn't notice!"

"We're in the same class! If anything, YOU snuck into MINE!"

"MORE LIES!"

"Really, Zim? I—"

"NOOOOOO!" Gaz bellowed out of nowhere, rattling the entire building. All eyes fell upon her as she shakily picked up her Game Slave; she'd dropped it when she collided with Tak, causing the screens to go blank. She tried switching it back on, but nothing happened. "YOU!"

Tak blinked. "Me?"

"That was the final cutscene!" fumed Gaz. "The ending to the entire Cyborg Cyclone series! Do you realize what you've deprived me of?!"

"Meh, it isn't totally broken," Tak stood nonchalantly. "Just pay someone to fix it."

"You broke it, YOU pay!"

"Are you nutty?" scoffed Tak. "It's not my fault your keep your eyes on that thing 24/7."

The two exchanged an intense glare and, sensing the rise in tension, more students gathered around them. The air became filled with bloodthirsty energy.

"On second thought, maybe we should go," Zim tapped Tak's shoulder. "You're kinda making a scene..."

"Calm down, I'll pay for it," Dib offered hesitantly. "It's not a big deal!"

"YES, IT IS!" snapped Gaz, stepping forward. "After everything I put into that game! Sneaking it into class, skipping meals, limiting myself to 40 minutes of sleep every night! Not to mention constantly dodging spoilers! I shouldn't have to wait this long to see the ending!"

Tak crossed her arms. "Not my problem."

"OHHHHH!" the Skool kids chorused like that was the sickest burn.

"It is now!" Gaz shot back. "Either pay up, or prepare to really wish you had!"

"OHHHHH!" the kids repeated. "SNAP!"

"F-Forget it, Gaz!" Dib cut in again. "Let's just leave before she starts taking you seriously...!"

"Yeah, listen to your brother," Tak insisted.

"YOU DARE SUGGEST..." Gaz had been shaking in anger, but stopped suddenly. She'd reached that scarily calm state. "Let's fight."

"YEAHHHH!" the crowd went into hysterics as Zim and Dib went pale. "CATFIGHT, CATFIGHT, CATFIGHT! WOOOO!"

"Oh, cripes," Tak rolled her eyes. "You want to fight me?"

Gaz gave a quick nod. "8 o' clock tonight."

"9 works better for me, actually."

"9 o' clock tonight. In the old seaside Chicky Licky warehouse. Totally unarmed. I win, and you have to pay for my Game Slave's repair. Assuming you survive, that is."

Zim gulped and mouthed "heck no" to Tak. He was ignored.

"Sure. And..." She looked around thoughtfully before her gaze fell on Dib, who flinched. "If I win..."
Leaning over, Tak whispered in Gaz's ear as everyone intently tried to listen; she spoke for about a minute before Gaz nodded once more.

"Sounds fair to me," she finally said.

Of course, everyone was annoyed by this secrecy and broke out into jabbering about how cheap and unfair it was that they didn't get to hear.

"Patience, people. You'll appreciate the surprise once you get it," Tak declared.

"I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were them. See you at 9." With that, Gaz stormed out of the building.

"Hey, wait!" Dib hurried after her. "You remember she's an alien, right...?!"

Their bloodlust piqued, the children made their exits as well, chattering about the upcoming battle and placing bets. In mere seconds, Zim and Tak were the only ones left in Skool.

The female Irken shook her head. "Madness must run in their family, huh, Zim? Come on, let's go play Monopoly or something; got about 5 hours till showtime."

"SO, you're really going to fight that squinty-eyed, skirt-wearing demon?! I thought you were just playing up the drama of the moment...! As Dib and I tend to do."

"Uh, no. None of that. I'm really going to fight her."

Zim frowned. "Please tell me she's not allowed to aim for your vital organs, joints, or face."

"I'm definitely going to aim for hers, so...why do you ask? You don't think she's going to hurt me, do you?"

"I, uhhh, i-it's not so much about my thoughts!" stammered Zim. "It's about the risks that come with an opponent of the Mephistophelian variety...!"

"She is rather Mephistophelian," Tak admitted. "But that aside, she's challenging someone with extensive combat training on her resumé when she's just a human."

"Is she?" he shuddered. "Perhaps you could assure your victory by wearing expertly concealed armor, or bringing microscopic w—!"

"My victory is already assured, Zim! Haven't you been listening? Besides, she's the one who called for a fight, so whatever happens, blame her!"

"Mmyeah," muttered Zim, put off by her stubborn demeanor.

"Trust me, the end result will be worth it..."

Despite Tak's reasoning, Zim kept up his apprehensive questions the entire way home.
Meanwhile, much further down the sidewalk, Dib had finally managed to catch up to his sister.

"Y-You're...you're really fast...!" he panted.

"Or you're just really slow," mumbled Gaz.

Dib spent a few seconds catching his breath. "What were you thinking?! You can't fight Tak!"

"Well, I'm gonna. I'd be playing the epilogue by now if it weren't for her. Just stay out of it."

"I can't 'stay out of it', and you know it! I saw that look Tak gave me; she had that same bloodlust in her eyes as everyone else! What were her demands for when she wins, HUH? I bet she wants me stabbed, or vaporized, or boiled in oil!"

"I'm not at liberty to say," Gaz replied. "And while those are excellent ideas, they don't matter. She won't win."

"Of course she will! She doesn't care that you're just a kid, she's not gonna fight fair!" blustered Dib. "She'll do ANYTHING to win!"

"So will I. Besides, aren't you always whining about me helping you 'fight off the alien threat'? Now I'm gonna fight an alien and you're still whining. You just can't be appeased."

"I...! YOU...!" Dib failed to think up an argument Gaz wouldn't throw back at him. A sigh escaped him. "Why do you always have to twist my words around?"

"You make it too easy."

XXXXXXXTHATNIGHTXXXXXXX

At 9 o' clock on the dot, the Irken duo arrived at the old warehouse. It'd drizzled earlier, so the pier was foggy and strewn with puddles. They stepped carefully around them to the entrance.

"Well, here we are. The...Chicken Lickin'." Tak approached the huge steel doors. "I can hear the humans in there. Heh, gross."

"Really, Tak, we don't have to go in, I thought of everything! Tomorrow, we can just tell everyone you suffered temporary blueberry muffin rash from the Skool lunch! There's plenty of other, better stuff we could be doing," Zim held his copy of Watership Down out to her. "Look, I brought the stupid beaver fairy book...!"

"First of all, you can't get muffin rash from muffins, even Skool muffins. Second, NO! We've already walked all the way here, and I'm NOT passing up the opportunity to beat up a child!"

Zim was practically blocking the entrance. "As much as this vengeful side of you is growing on me, I think—"

"Oh, enough thinking outta you!" Tak nudged him aside. "Give it a rest before you hurt yourself."

After rolling up her sleeves, she slid the doors open.
There was a sizable crowd of children on either end of the dim warehouse, and on the long sides were mountains of cardboard boxes reaching up to the wires and ropes by the ceiling. Inside, it was noticeably cold, probably for chicken-preserving purposes. Lastly, a large spotlight shone down in the center, where Gaz stood with that crazed, game-deprived look in her eyes.

"Right on time."

"Crap, she's here. Gaz, don't do this! It's gonna end horribly for both of us!" Dib pled. "Just let me fight Tak for y—OW!"

Enraged, Zim had thrown his book at him, and would've jumped him without Tak holding his collar. "SHUSH, YOU! GRRR! If Dib is doing battle with anyone, it must be ME! ZIM! RRRR, let me fight him in your place, Tak!"

"No one is taking anyone's place," she asserted. "We're fighting and that's that!"

To prevent interference, some of the children took the initiative and restrained the two disgruntled rivals. (None too gently, either)

"That's better," Gaz turned her back on Dib. "Let's begin."

"No, Gaz, NO! You're playing right into her evil hands!" he cried.

"Finally." Tak blew a kiss back to Zim. "Enjoy the show!"

"I WON'T!" he tried to break free, but those kids must've been working out lately because he was stuck good.
In that moment, Zim and Dib accepted that they'd just have to spectate.

The kids' cheers grew to roars as the combatants neared each other, performing warm-up motions.

Dib shut his eyes and clasped his hands together. "Universe, please let Gaz win so I'm not subjected to whatever horrific punishment Tak has undoubtedly planned for me. Also don't let Tak kill her. Amen."

Zim copied him and prayed as well. "Whatever great forces lie beyond my Tallest, please let Tak emerge from this unscathed...uncrippled?...undead, at least give me undead. I said 'please'! Um...shalom."

"You killed my game. Prepare to die," snarled Gaz.

She swung to uppercut Tak, only for her to dodge it.

"Aimed right for the face...!" Zim winced.

Tak tried to knee her, but Gaz blocked it with an arm.

Wearing the same look of focused fury, the two circled each other for a bit before Gaz's next punch; this time, Tak sidestepped and grabbed her arm. A second later, she'd whirled Gaz around and flung her towards a heap of boxes, which she balanced herself on top of.

Tak hastily struck the base of the pile, and Gaz was brought tumbling to the floor along with it. Now surrounded by scattered boxes, the two collided and exchanged blows. They only did real damage by grappling and shoving each other into the boxes. A somewhat silly tactic, but they made it look menacing. They continued fighting more ferociously, and forming more bruises.

"Punch her, Gaz, punch her! Eugh, don't bite her!" Dib was shouting. "Duck! Agh, she got you again! Her elbow! Yes, yes! Now you've got her...!"

"No! No! YES! You're winning! NO, now you're losing!" Zim was yelling. "Now you're...not losing?! Sssss, that looked like it hurt! Oh, never mind! Go for the throat! The throat, Tak!"

As for the rest of the audience, they were about as fickle as possible; since the Skool kids weren't very fond of either fighter, they just cheered for whoever landed the last hit.

Tak managed to trip Gaz and rushed in for another strike, but Gaz thought quickly and yanked a huge stuffed Chicky Licky doll out of a box to shield herself. She then pushed herself back onto her feet whilst Tak stumbled back.

The Irken braced herself for a strong kick from Gaz as she felt herself nearing a corner. She had the idea to grab something of her own from a nearby box; another Chicky Licky toy, but this one was tiny, rubber, and useless-looking.
Still evading, Tak sent it whizzing harmlessly past Gaz. OR SO IT SEEMED, for that happened to be a discontinued Chicky Licky with razorblade beak action! Behind Gaz, the toy chicken slashed through a rope that'd been suspending an also discontinued Chick Supreme.

Just as Gaz was winding up a punch that surely would've put a hole in the wall (or Tak's head; wherever it managed to land), the massive, frozen hoagie plunged straight down towards her head.

CONK!

The warehouse fell silent as she dropped to the floor.

"She's...she's out..." wheezed Tak.

"THE EVIL IS DEFEATED!" Zim rejoiced. "VICTORY FOR TAK!"

"HURRAYYY!" Everyone rushed towards her for her celebratory tosses in the air.

Dismayed, Dib knelt beside his sister's limp form. "The Universe...FAILED ME! Gaz, if you'd just listened to me, you'd still be alive! But I promise, I will avenge yo—"

"I'm not dead, stupid."

"OH! Thank goodness!" To his surprise, she casually sat up on her own. "And...you seem fine?"

"Mmgh," Gaz stretched. "Finer than I made it look, anyway."

"Wait, you mean...you threw the fight?"

"Pretty much. See, I really did want to gut Tak like a fish, but she made me an offer I couldn't refuse. She told me her plan for both of us to save face, by having me lose just barely."

"Huh?" Dib glanced at everyone still showering her with praise. "What could possibly make you want Tak to win?"

"Let's just say she's a good negotiator."

"Oh...then, you pretended to be unconscious?"

"No, that part was legit." Gaz rubbed her head. "Now it's time for me to hold up my end of the bargain, hehehe..."

"So yeah, I had no doubt about this outcome from the very start," Zim was bragging to the crowd. "Tak was super nervous about it, but I was like 'don't sell yourself short!' and that was really all i—"

"Hey, Tak!" Gaz interjected. "While we're all here, don't you wanna claim your reward?"

Tak mirrored her smirk. "Good idea. OH, DIB! Come here, please!"

"Yeah, a deal's a deal!" Gaz grabbed the end of Dib's coat before he slunk away, dragging him towards Tak.

"AGHH! Cut it out, Gaz!" He tried to swat her off. "Haven't I been through enough today?!"

"I'll be the judge of that!" Tak dug around in her backpack and pulled out a tiny, pill-like object.

Zim gasped. "That's the—!"

"Shh! Here, Dib, all you have to do is eat this."

"HECK NO! It's gonna be deathly sour, or turn me into a worm, or give me explosive diarr—"

"Just eat it!" Tak shoved it into his hand.

"EAT IT, EAT IT, EAT IT!" the children chanted eagerly.

Groaning, Dib flicked that little lozenge-looking thing into his mouth. He noticed Zim wore a wide grin, which wasn't a good sign. Still, he swallowed it just to get it over with.

"So?" Tak snickered. "How was it?"

The scythe-haired boy inhaled, about to say it wasn't bad, but no sound came out. His lips were moving and he gestured frantically, resulting in mere silence.

"Probably wondering what the heck it was, huh?" Tak smugly went on. "That was the 'quiet caplet', AKA the 'quilet'. If it turned out right, you're not going to be speaking for quite a while."

"And if you try too hard, you'll feel a sharp pain in your ears!" Zim added with pride.

Dib would've asked "for how long?!", but instead doubled over, clutching the back of his pants.

"Oh, sharp pain in your REAR," Zim amended. "My mistake."

Again, Dib had some choice words for him, but that sting kicked in. He stomped, shook his fists, pulled his hair in frustration.

"So cool," Gaz remarked contently. "What will science think of next?"

The Skool kids burst out laughing at Dib's misfortune and needled him with obnoxious requests.

"Hey, Dib! Talk if you're not crazy!"
"Say something if you have a normal-sized head!"
"Dib, talk if Zim is an alien!"
"If dubs are better than subs, don't say anything!"
"Don't talk if the Earth is flat!"

Everyone had a grand old time in the Chicky Licky warehouse that night. Well, Dib didn't, but he wasn't vocal about it.

(A/N: Writing action of any kind worries me, but hopefully it was ok. Also, it wasn't direct inspiration, but while writing I was reminded of "Spongebob, Sandy & the Worm". Might've been subconscious...but again, I hope it was fine. Thanks as always for your patience! Please review, fave, follow, point out mistakes and check out my profile for more. See y'all next time!)