This is the fourth of Maria Comes to Hogwarts, not to be mistaken with
Minerva Flames Albus or Snape Dies in Horror or Maria Scares Gryffindors.
My disclaimer... is probably somewhere. Maybe I forgot it. ;)
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Maria saw the Granger girl walking towards her in the entranceway to the great hall and stopped to let the girl talk to her without having to deal with her Slythrin housemates. She had expected that she would get a response to the little gift- if from no one else, from her new Head-of- House. She shook her head. That would take some getting used to.
"Hello. I'm Hermione. Can I talk to you?"
"Yeah, I saw you. I'm Maria- good morning." Inwardly she winced. With that phrase's history in her family, she should never say that to a member of her own sex or the universe might get ideas. Firmly, she shoved it out of her mind. "The book, right?" She saw the Weasley boy (couldn't remember his name, ah well, he'll probably introduce himself.) get up and start towards them.
He arrived. "You're a Slythrin. What're you trying to pull?"
Maria raised one eyebrow and smiled softly. "Do you have a name? I'm Maria."
Harry caught up. *Ah, yes, the scar. Brilliant of him, really- he'll never get a decent girlfriend so he won't have to get one killed in the battle. Glad someone thought of that.*
With a bit of tardy British politeness, Ron introduced both himself and his friend. Harry held out his hand. "Pleased to meet you, I'm Harry."
*Oy.* "Yes, I caught that." The Hall was still mostly empty, given the insane earliness of the hour on the night after the House parties.
She looked around. She really couldn't afford to be seen by her fellow ...Slythrins... *God, I'll never get used to that* seeing her friendly with Gryffindors. On the other hand, these _were_ the three most interesting people in the school, excepting the teachers. Hermione solved her problem for her. "Well, Maria, I was just wondering why you gave Harry here "
*-I can see him, you undersexed idiot-*
"-a present, and how you got it into his room..."
The boys both started. They hadn't thought of that, obviously.
"What?" Ron raked his hand through his hair. "You were in our room?"
Harry was itching for an excuse to curse someone -a Slythrin being nice was just too freaky- and he still wasn't completely over the whole Voldemort-is- chasing-me thing. His hand inched towards his wand. "You were where?"
Maria was tempted to just tell them that they were amazingly immature and to go get lives, but then she'd have to explain why curses bounced off of magical shields, and Dumbledore would yell at her, and she would get notes from her parents. "You _do_ know that your room is connected to the floo system...?" Dumbledore might yell at her for this one, but it was all right. They couldn't get in too much trouble, right? "I tossed it through."
Hermione mouthed wordlessly for a second, then started burrowing in her bag for her reference copy of "Hogwarts, A History," tossing books into the air. They floated.
Ron looked at her in suspicion. "But why be nice to Gryffindors?"
*Do not strangle. Do not strangle.* "Why be polite to anyone?"
Harry actually picked up on it. "Polite?"
*Thank you.* "I had no need for it, you very likely do, and I don't hate you."
Amazed look from Ron.
"Yet."
Hermione waved a bookmark at her. "Why can't you not do that??!!!!"
Maria sighed. And she had hoped to get some breakfast.
~*~
The headmaster looked behind him once, warily, just in time to be on the receiving end of a death-glare from his favorite Deputy Headmistress. Snape took the opportunity to stalk to the breakfast table, intent on intimidating some pancakes. Unfortunately for the dominance of the non- chaotic theory of universe, he ran into his newest student on his way there.
~*~
"Albus, you are insufferable and exasperating."
He smiled. "I'm glad to see that you have your appetite back." He handed her a rather squashed but still steaming pastry from an inner pocket. She glared at him. Glared at the pastry. Then she gave up the ghost and started eating before she drooled on her robes.
Eventually she finished. Once more seated at the High Table, she raised one eyebrow at the man, her graying hair accenting her cheekbones. "Albus, really. I expect such things from the students, but for the _Headmaster..._ well, I can only say... harrumph."
He looked at her benignly over the owl that was preening his left eyebrow. "I have absolutely no idea what you must mean, Minerva..." the owl moved on, stretching it's neck to nibble at a strand of hair that had escaped his embroidered and glittering headwear. He tapped it lightly on the beak. "Now, there, Fawkes will be jealous, you know." The bird snorted and hopped up to perch on his hat, denting it into an absurdly amusing angle. He sighed and reached for the letter it had left behind on the table.
Dumbledore had known that this letter would be coming, and roughly what it would say, but the profoundly irritating language the message was phrased in always amazed him. He read aloud for Minerva's benefit. "Dear Headmaster. I, Ralph Barem, the maternal grandfather of Maria Marilliti Barem, wish to point out that a purely magical education will assist no girl in finding a respectable marriage, or even a disrespectable (but by now expected) one, and that I strongly desire her to take only classes teaching sanity-involved skills like sewing, which I know for a fact she has long longed for, and cooking. Cooking is a required skill for a woman even in the Muggle world. I utter barbarians understand the importance of a man having timely, edible meals, I desire to know why a man that evidentially someone in the distant past before the onset of obvious senility deemed intelligent enough to run a school cannot. Are you gay, sir? I use the term in the traditional use of homosexual, not of "unreasoningly happy." Although I believe that ingesting poppy does have that side effect."
Minerva snorted. "Poppy Pomfrey, Albus? Are you trying to tell me something?"
A silver eyebrow raised. "Never, my dear. I am too firmly in thrall to wander."
She frowned and blushed. Reprovingly, "Albus."
He gave a long-suffering sigh. "There is, obviously, " he indicated the rest of the two-meter scroll, "more on the subject. Finally, I understand the origin of her mother's... unique... personality. What sane woman wouldn't take a few chances after having parents like those?"
~*~
In the Headmaster's office, Severus Snape, Potions master and incidentally a professor at Hogwarts, shook his head at the large cauldron currently making his life even more miserably unbearable than usual. A traditional Lifting Charm barely moved it; he was tremendously surprised that it had not (yet) dented the underlying rock of the Headmaster's floor. As it was, the carpets had been considerately moved away before the unwieldy object had been deposited, or t was entirely likely that there would now be neat, cauldron-bottom-shaped cuts in them. *"The cruelest cut of all/ being one in a friends/ Name; I renounce thee, boy." -S. Indigo* He determined to try a bit of Shrinking. He forgot that the said object kept all of its weight, and by some strange side effect of magic, gained twice it's mass. *Bloody...* Now there _was_ a dent in the floor. He hurriedly removed it to its former size.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, well, I think that's enough of an apology for the moment. I _am_ sorry about the wait; but it's called high school and finals, and I don't particularly think that any of you are going to argue too hard. Ah, well. Have a nice day. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And, for a bonus... well, authors sometimes write things that directly conflict with keeping alive any semblance of plot... so here is some of what I had to get rid of. For posterity.
Outtakes- not in the order they appeared, though.
Minerva interrupted. "Albus, aren't her parents named Date and Hurrok?"
Hermione stared at Maria in shock. "So, you're half elf? How...? I mean...? ...Different reproductive systems..."
Minerva chose that moment to glare suspiciously at the "new" DADA teacher. It wasn't as if he had any reason to be at the staff table- after all, do ghosts eat? No. Unfortunately, do ghosts change their personalities (or lack of ones)? No. Professor Binns smiled benignly at the bagels.
"No, dear, Tuvok and Kate. However, this is not from her parents, but her grandparents. On her mother's side, actually."
Maria stared back. "Half _elf?_??? Ah, well..." She could think of no way to explain her life history with less than a ninety-foot essay and an interview with a rather enthusiastic 80-foot intelligent dragon from another universe, so she used her heritage and raised an eyebrow. "You could probably put it that way."
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Ok, _now_ please review.
Best wishes,
-quail
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maria saw the Granger girl walking towards her in the entranceway to the great hall and stopped to let the girl talk to her without having to deal with her Slythrin housemates. She had expected that she would get a response to the little gift- if from no one else, from her new Head-of- House. She shook her head. That would take some getting used to.
"Hello. I'm Hermione. Can I talk to you?"
"Yeah, I saw you. I'm Maria- good morning." Inwardly she winced. With that phrase's history in her family, she should never say that to a member of her own sex or the universe might get ideas. Firmly, she shoved it out of her mind. "The book, right?" She saw the Weasley boy (couldn't remember his name, ah well, he'll probably introduce himself.) get up and start towards them.
He arrived. "You're a Slythrin. What're you trying to pull?"
Maria raised one eyebrow and smiled softly. "Do you have a name? I'm Maria."
Harry caught up. *Ah, yes, the scar. Brilliant of him, really- he'll never get a decent girlfriend so he won't have to get one killed in the battle. Glad someone thought of that.*
With a bit of tardy British politeness, Ron introduced both himself and his friend. Harry held out his hand. "Pleased to meet you, I'm Harry."
*Oy.* "Yes, I caught that." The Hall was still mostly empty, given the insane earliness of the hour on the night after the House parties.
She looked around. She really couldn't afford to be seen by her fellow ...Slythrins... *God, I'll never get used to that* seeing her friendly with Gryffindors. On the other hand, these _were_ the three most interesting people in the school, excepting the teachers. Hermione solved her problem for her. "Well, Maria, I was just wondering why you gave Harry here "
*-I can see him, you undersexed idiot-*
"-a present, and how you got it into his room..."
The boys both started. They hadn't thought of that, obviously.
"What?" Ron raked his hand through his hair. "You were in our room?"
Harry was itching for an excuse to curse someone -a Slythrin being nice was just too freaky- and he still wasn't completely over the whole Voldemort-is- chasing-me thing. His hand inched towards his wand. "You were where?"
Maria was tempted to just tell them that they were amazingly immature and to go get lives, but then she'd have to explain why curses bounced off of magical shields, and Dumbledore would yell at her, and she would get notes from her parents. "You _do_ know that your room is connected to the floo system...?" Dumbledore might yell at her for this one, but it was all right. They couldn't get in too much trouble, right? "I tossed it through."
Hermione mouthed wordlessly for a second, then started burrowing in her bag for her reference copy of "Hogwarts, A History," tossing books into the air. They floated.
Ron looked at her in suspicion. "But why be nice to Gryffindors?"
*Do not strangle. Do not strangle.* "Why be polite to anyone?"
Harry actually picked up on it. "Polite?"
*Thank you.* "I had no need for it, you very likely do, and I don't hate you."
Amazed look from Ron.
"Yet."
Hermione waved a bookmark at her. "Why can't you not do that??!!!!"
Maria sighed. And she had hoped to get some breakfast.
~*~
The headmaster looked behind him once, warily, just in time to be on the receiving end of a death-glare from his favorite Deputy Headmistress. Snape took the opportunity to stalk to the breakfast table, intent on intimidating some pancakes. Unfortunately for the dominance of the non- chaotic theory of universe, he ran into his newest student on his way there.
~*~
"Albus, you are insufferable and exasperating."
He smiled. "I'm glad to see that you have your appetite back." He handed her a rather squashed but still steaming pastry from an inner pocket. She glared at him. Glared at the pastry. Then she gave up the ghost and started eating before she drooled on her robes.
Eventually she finished. Once more seated at the High Table, she raised one eyebrow at the man, her graying hair accenting her cheekbones. "Albus, really. I expect such things from the students, but for the _Headmaster..._ well, I can only say... harrumph."
He looked at her benignly over the owl that was preening his left eyebrow. "I have absolutely no idea what you must mean, Minerva..." the owl moved on, stretching it's neck to nibble at a strand of hair that had escaped his embroidered and glittering headwear. He tapped it lightly on the beak. "Now, there, Fawkes will be jealous, you know." The bird snorted and hopped up to perch on his hat, denting it into an absurdly amusing angle. He sighed and reached for the letter it had left behind on the table.
Dumbledore had known that this letter would be coming, and roughly what it would say, but the profoundly irritating language the message was phrased in always amazed him. He read aloud for Minerva's benefit. "Dear Headmaster. I, Ralph Barem, the maternal grandfather of Maria Marilliti Barem, wish to point out that a purely magical education will assist no girl in finding a respectable marriage, or even a disrespectable (but by now expected) one, and that I strongly desire her to take only classes teaching sanity-involved skills like sewing, which I know for a fact she has long longed for, and cooking. Cooking is a required skill for a woman even in the Muggle world. I utter barbarians understand the importance of a man having timely, edible meals, I desire to know why a man that evidentially someone in the distant past before the onset of obvious senility deemed intelligent enough to run a school cannot. Are you gay, sir? I use the term in the traditional use of homosexual, not of "unreasoningly happy." Although I believe that ingesting poppy does have that side effect."
Minerva snorted. "Poppy Pomfrey, Albus? Are you trying to tell me something?"
A silver eyebrow raised. "Never, my dear. I am too firmly in thrall to wander."
She frowned and blushed. Reprovingly, "Albus."
He gave a long-suffering sigh. "There is, obviously, " he indicated the rest of the two-meter scroll, "more on the subject. Finally, I understand the origin of her mother's... unique... personality. What sane woman wouldn't take a few chances after having parents like those?"
~*~
In the Headmaster's office, Severus Snape, Potions master and incidentally a professor at Hogwarts, shook his head at the large cauldron currently making his life even more miserably unbearable than usual. A traditional Lifting Charm barely moved it; he was tremendously surprised that it had not (yet) dented the underlying rock of the Headmaster's floor. As it was, the carpets had been considerately moved away before the unwieldy object had been deposited, or t was entirely likely that there would now be neat, cauldron-bottom-shaped cuts in them. *"The cruelest cut of all/ being one in a friends/ Name; I renounce thee, boy." -S. Indigo* He determined to try a bit of Shrinking. He forgot that the said object kept all of its weight, and by some strange side effect of magic, gained twice it's mass. *Bloody...* Now there _was_ a dent in the floor. He hurriedly removed it to its former size.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, well, I think that's enough of an apology for the moment. I _am_ sorry about the wait; but it's called high school and finals, and I don't particularly think that any of you are going to argue too hard. Ah, well. Have a nice day. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And, for a bonus... well, authors sometimes write things that directly conflict with keeping alive any semblance of plot... so here is some of what I had to get rid of. For posterity.
Outtakes- not in the order they appeared, though.
Minerva interrupted. "Albus, aren't her parents named Date and Hurrok?"
Hermione stared at Maria in shock. "So, you're half elf? How...? I mean...? ...Different reproductive systems..."
Minerva chose that moment to glare suspiciously at the "new" DADA teacher. It wasn't as if he had any reason to be at the staff table- after all, do ghosts eat? No. Unfortunately, do ghosts change their personalities (or lack of ones)? No. Professor Binns smiled benignly at the bagels.
"No, dear, Tuvok and Kate. However, this is not from her parents, but her grandparents. On her mother's side, actually."
Maria stared back. "Half _elf?_??? Ah, well..." She could think of no way to explain her life history with less than a ninety-foot essay and an interview with a rather enthusiastic 80-foot intelligent dragon from another universe, so she used her heritage and raised an eyebrow. "You could probably put it that way."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, _now_ please review.
Best wishes,
-quail