Fast Forward

(92 Days after Terminus)

It was funny, how a simple split second decision could change the course of everything. Sometimes, it worked in your favor and let you succeed in the face of the opposition. Or, other times it was like a wrecking ball to a building; and piece by piece everything crumbled before you.

Beth guessed this was a wrecking ball decision as she laid there, in a pool of crimson; scared and full of regret. She hated not knowing who or what was going to come next. Or if who or what was ever going to come at all. She thought maybe it was meant to be this way. Maybe, after everything she'd done, this was her hell.

She wasn't even sure how it all happened. It was like everything was moving at hyper speed. One second, her feet were below her, strong and sturdy, and the next second...her breathe was becoming shallower and shallower. It was pretty obvious that the gaping hole in her abdomen was to thank for that; and it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.

But still, she did not pass out.

There would have been nothing more she would have liked to do than rest, to not feel the daunting pain. But, she was refusing to give in. That was the selfish way out and if she had learned one thing, it was that her selfishness got people hurt. That's why they were there, that's why he was there with her. That's why he was now a motionless silhouette across from her.

She'd never meant for it to be that way. She'd never meant to hurt those who meant the most to her. But, there he was slumped up against a wall, covered in shadows and blood. It looked like tar from where she was; dark and thick, slowly creeping toward her. It was like it was taunting her for being able to reach her, but her not being able to reach him.

She'd given up a long time ago on trying to hold pressure on her wound and kept reaching for him. She tried to inch her finger tips a little closer to his; but every second she thought she'd feel his skin again hers...there was always just a little more. Her body was too weak to reach him. How long had she spent trying? It felt like hours, but it could have been minutes, for all Beth knew. If it was hours, there was still hope the blood was clotting for him. But if it were minutes – he'd already lost too much blood and so had she.

It was apparent that he wasn't too sure either, but he'd tried to act as though he wasn't frightened. He kept his upper lip as stiff as possible, like he couldn't feel his life draining from him, at whatever speed it was. But, when he spoke to her, she could tell. It was her gift and her curse, to always know; and to always feel so deeply.

She'd tried to keep him focused on her. Beth knew he was a fighter and that he was just as determined as her to make it out alive. Time and time again, she'd seen how stubborn he could be. But help was taking too long, and his eye lids had begun fluttering.

In a strained voice, she'd screamed at him; she'd told him she'd never forgive him if he left her with nothing but the quiet. He'd grunted, mumbled a familiar joke about there never being a moment of quiet when she was around then, he closed his eyes completely.

Now, there no rising or falling of his chest that she could see or hear. There was just her, with a lingering hope that their people would get to them...or their bodies...before the Walkers did.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Beth whispered what was more of an apology to the world than anything else, before she reached out one more time and arm fell hard on the ground yet again.

In her heart, she could feel she wasn't going to be able to pick it up again. She could feel the darkness taking over again. Maybe she hasn't learned anything. But why shouldn't she cave to what she wanted, what she needed. She needed and wanted to rest. She needed and wanted to forget and feel empty. Before she was dead and had to atone for all her sins.

God, how had they gotten there? How had everything gone so wrong?