He woke to early morning sunlight streaming in through his window. He blinked blearily and brought a hand up to rub his itchy eyes. He had gone upstairs yesterday afternoon to take a nap. He had not been intending to sleep the rest of the day and night away. Why had Sirius not woken him up? He glanced at his clock and groaned when it read 6:23 am. He had slept for over 14 hours and didn't think he was going to be able to sleep any more.

He threw the covers away and trudged his way to the bathroom. Intending to brush his teeth and take a shower, he took his shirt of wincing a bit as his side stretched. Apparently, the bruise balm hadn't healed everything. He glanced at the full-length mirror on the back of the door. His breath caught in his throat as he looked at himself. He had not showered or done any personal hygiene since two days ago so his hair looked greasy and fell limp. There was a faint yellow ring around his right eye and both eyes were swollen and red from how much crying he had done in the last couple days. The bruise on his left side had faded somewhat from the angry purple it had been but was still a deep shade of red that was very tender as he ran his fingers over it, much like Ron had That Night.

Unwanted tears rose in his eyes and he angrily wiped them away.

'No reason to be upset mate' a voice in his head said, 'you made this happen. You let that situation happen. You left him. You don't deserve to be upset.'

He took a deep breath and quickly started the water. He stepped in as steam began to fill the small bathroom. Letting the water stream over his body, he hung his head low, breathing deeply and allowing the heat to soothe his aching body. He didn't know how long he stood like that for, but by the time he came back into his own head, the water was running lukewarm. He quickly washed himself and stepped out, grabbing a towel and wiping off the fogged up mirror. He stared at his reflection, hating what he saw all of a sudden.

He didn't know what to make of everything. On one hand, Sirius was his family and what he thought of Harry meant the world to him. In Harry's mind, Sirius reflected his father. If he didn't like who Harry was, whose to say his father wouldn't have felt the same. Or his mother. Maybe he was just a disgusting freak like the Dursley's had always said he was. But no. Ron loved him. And he loved Ron.

'Right.' That voice said again, 'he LOVED you. Past tense. You ended it, you fool.'

Sirius had though he was disgusting. He could see it in the look on his face That Night. The one thing that he still did not understand is why. Being with Ron had always felt…..right. It always felt like that was the way it was supposed to be. He never questioned it at all until he was living with Sirius and he would start to make comments. No one at school who knew or Ron's family had said anything negative about their relationship. They all seemed rather supportive in fact. This was the first time he was truly questioning what he was doing. He wouldn't be able to have kids, he couldn't have normal sex, he was supposed to marry a girl. It was what was expected of him. Sirius expected it of him, and therefore he had to expect it for himself. He never had a family of his own until Sirius, and he wasn't about to give that up now. He was brought out of his musings by a knock on the door and he jumped.

"Harry! Pup, I have breakfast ready if you want some!" Harry stared at himself a bit longer before quickly replying,

"I'll be right down!" He took a deep breath, took one last glance at himself and steeled himself to his new "straight" life.

The next few days passed in an uncomfortable silence with only a few small attempts on Sirius's part to start a few half-hearted conversations. Most of the days Harry spent in his room working on school work or outside flying in the orchard. He tried to stay out of Sirius's way for the most part. He didn't think that his godfather would be angry with him again, but the lingering pain in his left side kept him very aware of what exactly could happen if Harry didn't live up to Sirius's expectations. It was easier to just not be around him as much as possible. That plan was foiled however when four days after That Night, Sirius came into the Kitchen as Harry was cleaning up his breakfast dishes.

"Hey Harry, I was thinking we could go over to Diagon Alley today. I have some things I wanted to pick up in the Apothecary and bookstore, and then thought we may stop by the Quidditch Supply Store. Take a look at the new brooms perhaps?" Harry finished stacking the plates in the sink before answering.

"Uh sure Sirius. Sounds great." Harry was a bit curious as to why Sirius was acting as though nothing had happened at all. But if he was willing to look past and forget, then so was Harry. It made his job a bit easier at least.

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Walking into Diagon Alley never lost it's novelty to Harry. It was always just as beautiful and wonderous as it had been the first time he had ever stepped foot there with Hagrid. The people, the shops, the pure magic of it would always amaze him.

"Hey Pup, I'm going to go ahead and go to the Bookstore. It's Order Business so I'm gonna have to ask you to wait out here. Why don't you head over to the Quidditch store and take a look around. See if anything catches your fancy. And I'm not just talking about the supplies if you know what I mean." Sirius gave a chuckle and a wink and Harry gave a nervous laugh in response.

"Huh, yeah. Sure. See you in a bit then." He headed over to the store and was just looking through the window display when a shadow was cast over him. Looking closely at the reflection in the window, his heart stuttered a bit. Ron was standing behind him, staring. Harry jumped, startled and turned around quickly.

"Ron! W-what are you doing here?" Harry glanced around nervously. Ron's eyes looked sad even though he was trying to hide the hurt he was feeling.

"Mum heard the Order talking about guarding you guys today on a trip so she wanted to come and make sure you were okay. That you were really okay." Ron seemed to be looking him over to take inventory of anything wrong. All the while Harry was still sending anxious glances over to the bookstore. Ron seemed to notice this and sighed. He grabbed Harry by the elbow and marched him inside the Quidditch store and didn't stop until they were all the way to back, hidden from the front doors.

"There. Now we can talk for a second without you getting caught with me. Heaven forbid he see you talking to your best mate." Ron always got a tone to his voice and shuffle in his feet when he was feeling insecure about something, both of which he was sporting now. It made Harry's heart pang to know that it was his fault.

"Look you know it's not like that. We aren't just best friends anymore Ron. Or at least…..we weren't when Sirius found us. I'm sorry okay?" He had to let Ron know how sorry he was.

"How could you leave with him? He kicked you out! He hurt you! He left you scared and terrified and I had to pick up the pieces. Me and Mum and Dad. And then you just left! How could you do that to me. To yourself…..to us?" Harry hung his head. Ron reached his hand out to grab Harry's, but it was snatched quickly away as Harry took a step back.

"You don't get it Ron. You have a family who loves and accepts you no matter what. They don't care your gay. They don't care you were with me. They love you no matter what. And as great as your family is to me and has been to me, they're your family. Sirius is the only one I have that's just mine. He's the only family I have. I can't just turn away from him. I know he has old fashion views, but he just wants what's best for me, and-"

"What's best for you? So, hitting you and trying to make you into something you're not is best for you?! Harry, family is supposed to love and support you no matter what. It's not a conditional thing. I know he was your dad's friend and all, but he doesn't understand you. He's only going to hurt you again. Maybe not physically, but…" Harry's brow furrowed and he lifted his head to look Ron in the eyes.

"He would never do that again. He was in shock, of course he was going to react badly. Look Ron, I miss you, and I miss us, but I owe it to him to make him happy. He's all I have left and I need him. Please. Try to understand. I have to do this. I'll owl and maybe I can even convince him that there's nothing going on between us so you can come over, but we can't keep doing what we were doing. It's wrong." Ron shook his head, still looking at him with sadness. Harry almost thought sadness was worse then him being angry.

"I know you don't believe that mate." He stepped closer to Harry, trapping him against the wall so he couldn't step away again. He reached up and brushed a lock of hair away from Harry's eyes. Harry's breath caught and he froze. "You know how right we are together. You know how good it felt to be together. And I know you'll realize one day how much he's already hurting you. And when you realize that I'll be here, kay?" Harry's breath hitched and he gave a quick side step to get away. He backed up while still watching Ron with wary eyes, shaking his head in denial.

"You're wrong. He won't hurt me. I'll owl you okay? Just don't follow me." And with that he turned on the spot and fled. He nearly ran into Sirius as he bolted through the door.

"Ooof! Sorry Sirius! I didn't realize you were there!" Sirius gave a confused look and glanced over Harry's shoulder to see what had made him leave so fast.

"You alright Har? You seem quite flustered?" Harry walked down the sidewalk to get away from the shop. He didn't want to give any hints as to who he had been talking to so he blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"It's nothing! Just saw Cho in there. You know that girl I was telling you about? Knocked over some supplies and made a fool of myself. Wanted to get out of there." He gave a nervous chuckle and then glanced over Sirius's shoulder to see that Ron was leaving and listening to what he said. There was hurt in his eyes and then he turned and left, glancing back once before getting lost in the crowd. Harry heaved a sigh and allowed Sirius to sling an arm around his shoulders.

"Ah don't even worry about that! Birds think nervous blokes are endearing! Just send her an owl tonight. Start up some good conversation. She'll be yours in no time! Just you wait and see. I'll make you a ladies man just like your dad. C'mon, let's get home." A wave of sadness rolled over Harry. He felt like a fake and a phony, and he couldn't help but think that his whole future happiness had just left down the Diagon Alley street.