A/N: I'm laughing, how the hell are we supposed to survive another 3 months? Here, have some extremely confused Allen mirroring the feelings of the entire DGM fandom. This was supposed to be a short one-shot, but it got out of hand, so I'm splitting it into two parts (I hope…). No pairings.

Allen was the personification of a question mark.

Cross had told him to go to the Campbell's mansion and seek out Katherina Eve Campbell, but… would she still even be alive after all these years? And how would he know where exactly it was, even if he did wake up as himself? Also - if his master wasn't a figment of his imagination, did that mean he was still alive?

He was glad for a destination, a reason to keep moving forward - perhaps a good chance to finally gain some answers as well. However, with Cross being as vague as ever, Allen was, undeniably, pretty much screwed.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

He had to admit, the Fourteenth's dreamscape was much less depressing than his own. Despite that, the fact that he could be spending eternity here didn't seem very pleasing.

The dream version of the mansion was looming over Allen ominously. He thought, at first, that maybe he could go explore it a little, thus took a step forward. Then, without any kind of warning, it disappeared. Allen took a deep breath and looked around some more. The only other concrete thing he was able to see was the tree. Cornelia.

With a shake of his head, he stepped out in its direction and sighed in relief when it didn't vanish suddenly. When he reached it, he looked it over curiously. It was strange, he thought - naming a tree. If Katherina came up with it, Allen wasn't even surprised that her sons turned out to be such weirdos. It ran in the family, he supposed.

For an unknown reason, he expected something to happen when he touched Cornelia. Nothing did though, resulting in him releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding.

Allen felt stupid. Having said that, he was about to feel much stupider.

"C-Cornelia?" he stuttered, embarrassed. He really hoped the Fourteenth couldn't see his useless attempts to find a way out. He'd be having a good laugh at Allen's expense. "Help me… wake up? Please?"

Just use the spell, asshole.

Allen winced at the eerie voice. "Oh, wow," he breathed out, making a mental note: talking to trees could actually turn out to be helpful from time to time. Even if they were a little rude. "What spell?"

Like you're using the Ark. Just imagine your own dreamscape instead of a real place.

Allen narrowed his eyes skeptically. Surely it couldn't be that easy. He did have his manners though, so he said: "Thanks, Cornelia."

The wind carried over something that sounded suspiciously similar to a snort, which he decided to ignore. Instead, he closed his eyes, focused, and-...

Was about to throw up.

He opened his eyes in panic and found himself to be lying on the ground in a familiar dark environment. So, it did work. Except that the Ark didn't open a gate - he just teleported. Maybe it was because he wasn't actually in the real world. Speaking of which… he still had no idea how to wake up, even though getting out of Nea's mindscape was a considerable achievement. It seemed as though trees could be about as vague as a certain master could.

Allen put one hand on his abdomen in hopes of calming the upset stomach and decided to walk to the lake. He was almost entirely convinced that crying Lenalee would be reflected at the bottom of the dark water, but she wasn't. There didn't seem to be anything at all - no Lenalee, no Order ruins, no black moon. He wasn't sure that was a good sign.

After looking around, he kneeled at the edge of the lake and carefully dived his left hand into the water. Like a bad case of déjà vu, somebody grabbed it all of the sudden, and this time, pulled him straight into the lake.

Allen woke up with a start. Which was miraculous and all, but noting the dull headache that only seemed to be starting, he almost wanted to go back to dreaming.

He took a second to resign himself to the fate of walking around like a living corpse for the day and then sat up. He was in an unfamiliar room with a very familiar person behind the small desk in a corner.

"Finally woke up, huh?" Link asked, not looking from the papers he was scribbling on.

Allen was dizzy. Seeing Link alive… he was confused, so very confused, but that did nothing to muffle the sob that came out of his sore throat.

Link turned around with raised eyebrows, which soon shot up even higher in shock. "Walker?"

"You're alive," Allen whispered as he brought his right hand to wipe the tears away. "Thank god."

Link, the poor soul, looked absolutely lost. He nodded mutely and then, after short hesitation, came over to the bed. "How… how are you feeling? You were… out for a while."

"I'm not sure," Allen admitted. "Link, I'm so sorry… for leaving you with Apocryphos. So sorry…"

The other sighed deeply. Leave it to Allen Walker to blame himself for everything.

"How are you alive? Why are you here?" And then; "Where are we?"

Link shoved a glass of water into Allen's hands which he appreciated. "Zu Mei Chang saved me, and Inspector Lvellie arranged it so that the Order would presume I'm dead. I have been asked to find you. I helped you and Johnny Gill escape the Earl - Gill is somewhere safe, don't worry. Also, your golem… is nowhere to be found."

Finishing the glass of water, Allen frowned. Besides Timcanpy disappearing, one particular thing bugged him about what the other just said. "You've been asked to find me? By Lvellie…?" A realization settled over him. He turned to stare at Link, hoping he wouldn't confirm the gnawing suspicion that-...

"I'm supposed to help the Fourteenth."

He was about to start crying again for an entirely different reason.

"I'm not your enemy!" Link continued with haste. "But, Cross Marian is on Nea's side and Malcolm Lvellie is on Cross's side and I… wasn't really told all that much."

"Nea?" Allen hissed uncharacteristically, which made the other wince. "How long was I out? Did you and Nea bond well?"

Link answered the former question; "Six days, I think."

Allen was thinking, hard. So his master was still fighting for the Fourteenth, after all. But why had he said those things to him before? Why had he looked so glad when Allen had told him he wouldn't give up? For the third time, Allen had doubts. If he knew who the mysterious Fourteenth was, would something change? None of that made Link's blind obedience to Lvellie hurt any less, but he couldn't be mad at him for long. Not after being so happy he turned out to be alive and well, at least. Allen wasn't on the Fourteenth side (didn't think he'd even be able to, after everything) but, perhaps, it was time to stop fighting him so hard and, instead, try to understand. As long as the process of understanding didn't require him getting swallowed by the parasite's memories, of course.

Allen looked at Link, who was waiting patiently, with newfound determination. "We need to get to the old Campbell mansion," he said. "Any idea where it might be?"

The other shook his head, obviously relieved by Allen's relatively calm acceptance of the situation, but confused at the sudden topic change.

"Okay, then," he continued. "I might have a way of finding it."

Allen really had thought it would be as easy as sneaking into the Fourteenth's piano room, poking around a little bit and hoping for a door leading to the mansion to open. Turned out, that was just wishful thinking.

Link, who was standing next to him, smacked his lips in displeasure, which made Allen cringe slightly. Fortunately, he seemed to have some empathy, seeing as he didn't say anything further. They both felt like this was a waste of time and, on top of that, a useless risk to take. Maybe the Order didn't have access to this particular room, but that didn't mean it wasn't dangerous; boarding the Ark, that is.

Allen was about to apologize dejectedly, when suddenly, a movement on his right caught his eye. He froze. In the mirror, instead of his reflection, there stood a familiar shadow.

"Walker?" Link asked.

"Do you see him?" Allen said with a quiet voice.

The other shook his head with a frown.

"Let… let me lead… you there… Allen," the Fourteenth murmured with obvious strain and gestured to the white piano. A pleasant chord echoed over the room, and a door opened.

"How did you do that?" Link said, surprised.

The host looked at him with mild irritation. "It was the Noah," he answered. Glancing back over his shoulder, he noted the shadow had disappeared already. "He says it leads to the mansion… I think."

Link shrugged and headed for the door. Allen was startled at the blatant trust the other put into the Fourteenth. If it was him, he would most certainly not enter the door his parasite opened. Lvellie's subordinate, however, seemed to have different priorities. Allen went after him with a sigh; after all, it wasn't like their situation could get any worse.

After several hours of wandering around the Ark's secret rooms, doors opening at random and the two breathing heavily, exhausted from endless walking, they finally arrived to the Campbell mansion. It was anticlimactic, of sorts.

They stood in front of a big, once beautiful, but now visibly neglected building.

Allen braced himself and knocked on the ancient door.

He didn't know what he was expecting, but a cute little girl in a pretty dress with round glasses covering her big eyes wasn't it. She smiled at him sweetly.

"Um, I'm-... Hello," Allen stuttered.

The girl didn't respond to him, instead turned around and cried out: "Teacher Joe! He's here!"

Link stepped closer to him and whispered: "Are we expected?"

Allen shrugged helplessly. If his master did turn out to be alive after all, he'd punch him right in his stupid face.

"Come inside," the girl told them and turned around.

Not even knowing where to start asking questions, the two stayed silent during the short walk through the old building. Allen tried to ignore the strange feeling of nostalgia this place gave him. He'd never been here before, so it must have been the Fourteenth's memories that made him so content...

A pleasant, strangely familiar laughter. A reluctant smile. His hands gripping theirs. Two pairs of identical golden eyes looking at him with amusement. Familiar feelings, familiar smells, familiar voices.

"Walker?"

Allen realized he stopped in his tracks all of the sudden. The girl and Link were staring at him questioningly. "Are you alright?"

He murmured an unidentifiable sound of agreement and shakily threw his hair over his shoulder. Except he didn't. He frowned. Wasn't his hair a little too short?

The girl started moving again without a word. The other two followed, Allen still a little out of it. What was that…? he thought. Am I being swallowed by his memories, even now?

A moment later, they arrived to somewhere that looked like a dining room. On the chairs surrounding a big round table sat an old woman. She was robust, and had smile wrinkles around her eyes. Her skin looked thin as paper. She was wearing a strange expression, a mix between anticipation, anxiety and worry.

"Nea, is that… you?" she spoke with a fragile voice. "Or is it Allen? Which… which is it?"

"Good evening, I'm Allen Walker," Allen answered after clearing his throat awkwardly. "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Campbell… right?"

"It's Mrs Joe now." Katherina's expression turned sad. "So you really don't remember…"

Without any warning, more swift than a lady that old should be able to, she sprang from her seat and headed for Allen. She put her wrinkled arms around him in a warm embrace. Allen was so shocked he couldn't move a muscle.

"Even if you don't remember," Katherina said quietly. "Let me say this: welcome home, Allen."

A pleasant, strangely familiar laughter. A reluctant smile. His hands gripping theirs. Two pairs of identical eyes looking at him with amusement. Familiar feelings, familiar smells, familiar voices.

"What have you two dragged Allen into this time? Geez, I swear, I should be getting paid for being a parent to you two…"

Allen was vaguely aware of the tears rolling freely from his eyes, but he didn't care. For some reason, he gripped onto Katherina even tighter. "W-who am I?" he whispered with a hoarse voice. "Who am I? What's happening to me?"

"I think it's time to take him to Bookman," the little girl said suddenly.

Allen quickly got out of the embrace and wiped his tears away. "Bookman?! He's here?"

Link appeared next to him. "Take us to him," he said resolutely.

"I'm sorry, my dear," Katherina replied with a shake of her head. "For now, Allen must go alone."

Allen looked at Link, trying to pull off a reassuring smile. Judging by the other's rare look of concern, he didn't exactly succeed. Crying and getting hugged by random stranger probably does that to you.

Speaking of random strangers, Katherina walked out of the room and gestured for Allen to follow. Through a seemingly endless maze of halls, she took him to the upper floor. Allen wanted to ask questions, he really did, but recent events' emotional rollercoaster exhausted him more than he was willing to admit, so he couldn't muster up the strength to both ask questions and try to memorize the path they were walking.

After a few moments that, to Allen, seemed like an eternity, they stopped. Katherina opened one of the doors without saying anything and turned around to walk back.

Allen shrugged, once again thinking he had nothing to loose, and entered the door.

There, in one corner of the room, stood an old bed. He swallowed. Was it really Bookman? Was Lavi with him? Weren't they supposed to be captured by the Noah? A thought dawned on him. What proof did he have that he just didn't enter the Noah's hideout? He trusted Cross's projection so much, but both Road and Wisely could mess with people's minds, couldn't they? He decided to take back the previous statement. He definitely had things to loose.

He drew a blank as soon as he heard a wheezy voice carry across the room. "Allen… Walker? Is that you?"

He tried very hard to fight the primal urge to express himself in a fashion similar to; "What the fuck, Bookman?" Instead, he took a few deep breaths and forced his voice steady. "Are you alright?"

Bookman snorted with amusement. "Come here," he said, "and tell me if I look alright."

No need to be sarcastic, Allen thought with a roll of his eyes as he went to stand beside the bed. "I thought you were with the Noah. I'm glad you're…" he trailed off, looking at the other's fragile body, worried. "Alive."

The Bookman coughed harshly. "Yes, well," he rasped. "I managed to get some help from past allies. I suppose you've already met Katherina and Lucia."

Allen figured that Lucia must have been the young girl who let him and Link in. How a couple of regular humans could have helped somebody to escape from the Noah, he had no idea, but he decided not to act on his suspicion that Bookman wasn't telling him everything. Instead, he shifted his weight excitedly. There was somebody he wanted to see more than anyone at that moment. Somebody who wasn't a part of the whole Campbell mess. Somebody he could depend on. "Where's Lavi?"

Bookman took a weary breath and looked at him with eyes full of regret. "They still have him."

Allen made a pained noise as he allowed his knees to give out and slowly sat himself into a nearby chair. "Is he alive?"

"Yes, but the situation isn't… ideal."

"Can I save him?" he asked desperately.

"You cannot," Bookman said, "but perhaps the Fourteenth can."

Allen was confused. That was a strange thing to say, not to mention the way the other was looking at him, almost as if… "Oh, good god. You're on his side too."

Bookman's following silence was more than enough to confirm Allen's suspicion. He put his head in hands. And after all the fuss the Bookmen made over staying neutral at all times and never taking sides. This was getting ridiculous. Maybe knowing this should have made him want to know everything about Nea D. Campbell, but it just made him angry.

"If you knew what I know," Bookman said quietly, halting his thought process, "you would be on his side too."

Allen laughed with a slightly hysterical edge and shook his head. "So tell me! Tell me what you know, share your wordly knowledge!"

"I'm afraid I can't," the other replied. "Not with Demon Eye Wisely running around. You don't have any mind barriers up, as I do. I'm sorry."

Allen wasn't surprised. Not even a little bit. After all, when was the last time anybody gave him an actual answer to something?

"I'm tired now. I must rest. Good luck, Allen Walker… talk to Nea when you get the chance. He knows spells to brace your mind. Let him speak," - a small pause - "You might have to wait a while, if he hasn't changed."

Allen looked at him suspiciously, not knowing what he meant by that.

With a gently murmured; "Feel better soon," Allen left the room and tried to recall the direction he came here from. After a while, he remembered some paintings he passed by earlier that day, and took off downstairs, where, unknown by him, was another disaster waiting to blow up. Or rather, two disasters.

Cross Marian and Road Kamelot were looking at him with amused smiles. Allen kept staring.

Hey, he knew he'd done some fucked up things (killing his father and such), but karma had to stop being a bitch at some point of his life, right? Right?

He thought very carefully about what he'd do. He did promise to punch Cross the moment he turned out not to be dead, but the feeling of intense relief (and shock, especially shock) made that seem unfavorable. He thought about what to say and once again almost slapped himself for thinking; "Okay, honestly, what the actual fuck?" He thought about saying that a lot lately. It would probably make for a kick-ass tombstone epitaph. Or his last words. Or both.

"Uh, idiot apprentice?" Cross asked, his smirk falling a little. "You okay?"

"I have strongly mixed feelings," Allen noted. He shifted his gaze from his master, to Road standing next to him, to Link hanging back in the shadows with an expression of a lost puppy, to Katherina and Lucia, who were watching the entire exchange with a morbid interest.

"Shit happens, yeah," Cross said with a shrug and lit a cigarette.

"Cross Marian, how many times do I-..." Katherina cried. "You do not smoke in this house, are we clear?! Not thirty-five years ago, not now!"

The former exorcist rolled his eyes. "Geez, woman, I almost forgot how downright annoying you've always been. 'Cross, don't give Nea cigarettes. Cross, don't encourage Mana to steal. Cross, mind your language.'"

"See? I always told them if they were friends with you, something would go wrong," Katherina replied. "And look at where we are now! Both of my sons dead, yet one of them trying to destroy the world and the other one… I don't even know what on earth Nea is trying to do here."

"Ah, yes," Cross said and inhaled an unnecessary amount of the smoke, "that's all my fault, of course. Such a bad influence. Get over it."

Allen was looking at the developing conversation with his mouth slightly open. After blinking the shock away, he cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but?"

Katherina turned to him with a sweet smile, contrasting the deep frown she had been gracing his master with. "Sorry, sweetheart. How is Bookman doing?" she asked.

"He's fine," Allen replied distractedly. He had no idea what to ask first. In the end he came up with; "Master, how are you still alive?"

"I'm alive because this little devil here," he said, gesturing to Road, "decided she wanted to join forces. Anyway, kid, there's a lot of things you should know, and it's late, just go to sleep for now."

"If I go to sleep, the Fourteenth might take over."

"Yes, that is my point. Nea, come on, at least greet your mother if not me."

Allen was able to be confused for approximately two seconds before he felt like being shoved into a bag. An unsettlingly familiar sensation, he immediately knew what triggered it. The Fourteenth.

When he opened my eyes, he was surprised to find himself not chained to a throne in his dreamscape, but still seeing Cross right before his eyes. He tried to blink, but he couldn't.

Then Allen heard his own voice say: "Damn, and I thought I was so stealthy."

Allen made an attempt to shout out something along the lines of; "Get out of my body, bastard!" The body didn't seem to cooperate though, so he was forced to watch his master's mouth form into a grin and feel himself (the Fourteenth) roll his eyes.

"Welcome to the land of the living, you dick," Cross said.

"Yeah, yeah," the Noah replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Surprisingly warm welcome, considering what a traitor you are."

"I am a what?"

A soft sob echoed through the room. Allen (the Fourteenth) looked at Katerina, who was shaking badly and hiding her face in hands.

"Hey, mom," the Fourteenth muttered sheepishly. The old woman didn't wait for anything else and Allen's body was embraced by her for the second time that day.

"Nea, you stupid, stupid child," she whispered into the crook of his neck.

"Uhuh, mom, listen," Nea said, visibly torn between leaning into the hug or getting out of it. "I've got some scores to settle here, so can this wait… like… ten minutes?"

"What's more important than your mother?!" Katherina cried and let him go.

"Oh, I don't know," he said, turning around, "waiting for an explanation of this asshole's betrayal?"

Cross leisurely threw his cigarette butt on the ground. "You're gonna have to elaborate, man."

"Elaborate?" Nea repeated with a voice that was still Allen's, but noticeably an octave higher. "You literally helped Allen suppress me only a few hours, I saw that! 'Nea, be careful, he's dangerous!' No shit! But no, of course, he's more important than your best friend, and, you know, saving the world."

"For fuck's sake, Nea!" Cross cursed loudly. "You're like one big abandonment issue! Nobody is betraying you here, I'm not ever letting you die again. I'm with you on this. Christ, stop being melodramatic."

"So how do you explain… this?" the Noah gestured to his body.

"Is it really so impossible to comprehend that maybe I don't want either of you to die? By the way, you too have some explanations to do. Why on earth did you think it would be a good idea to pick an accommodator to be your host? Under ten years old no less?"

Nea narrowed his eyes at him. "What are you talking about? That's what I want to know. What the hell happened to Allen?"

They took a few seconds to stare at each other, baffled, until Road (who the Fourteenth seemed not to have noticed yet) cut in. "Guys, I know what's going on here, and I'll tell you later and all, but what about Allen?"

"What are you doing here?" Nea asked with displeasure. And, Allen noted, perhaps a little bit of fear.

"You were right," Road said, uncharacteristically serious. "You were right about everything, okay? I don't agree with what you want to do exactly, but for now, I'm on your side."

Cross nodded, pleased, and then agreed with Road: "The little devil's right. You need to talk to Allen."

"You do realize the reason I've let him come here is because I hoped you could have that conversation with him?"

Allen would have gasped if he could. That Noah let him come in here?

"Yep. And I still stand by what I said. Talk."

"I have the most info here," Road said, "and I think you definitely need to talk. Try to explain your plans without… you know… taking a week or so."

The Fourteenth winced. "I'm not that chatty, am I?"

Both Road and Cross laughed. Even Katherina chuckled into her hand. "That's really not what she meant," Cross said.

"Can't this wait for a while?" Nea whined. "I want to get plastered tonight. Who's with me?"

Allen was shocked to see his master shake his head resolutely. Cross Marian refusing a night of endless drinking? That must have meant something serious was going on. Allen's mind was scattered everywhere after hearing the others talk. He didn't even bother forming questions anymore. To be honest, at this point, he actually did want to meet Nea and let him explain things. He might hate the guy, but hey, he'd be glad to get some answers before punching him.

From the angle in which Nea was glaring at Cross, Allen could see Link leaning on the wall with a resigned face. Lucia was trying to imitate both his pose and his serious expression. There was a story there, and Allen would definitely have to ask about it later.

"Fine!" the Fourteenth said at last with a sigh. "I'll be going then. Let's discuss everything properly tomorrow. Goodnight."

Cross and Road waved their hands and Katherina whispered a soft; "Sweet dreams."

As Nea navigated himself in the familiar mansion and sought out the nearest room with a bed, he muttered under his breath; "This is gonna be a long night."

A few days later, when Allen recalled that, he couldn't help but laugh hysterically.

A/N: I have a theory that the "Bookman" waiting in the Campbell mansion is actually Lavi and that Bookman Bookman is dead, but since that's what I predict will happen in following chapters, I decided to go with both of them being alive… so my heart doesn't hurt as much. But it does. Oh, it does.