My 2nd attempt at a bit of fan fiction here and since you've read this far I thank you! For the record, this is a One-Shot

Netherfield Park and the Delights of Vexing

"Mr. Bennet! Mr. Bennet! Such news! Netherfield Park is let at last!" Mrs. Bennet burst into the drawing room all in a flutter, her two youngest girls trailing and equally excited.

"Good news indeed, Mrs. Bennet!" replied her husband, "But is it certain?"

"Oh yes, my dear, for I have just had it from Mrs. Long - it has been taken by a young man from the north of England, and he is to take possession by Michaelmas. What a wonderful thing for our girls!"

"To be sure, to be sure, Mrs. Bennet, but do not let yourself be too hasty, do not allow yourself to get your hopes up! Though the chance of it being one of our girls is better than most he may very well not fall to one of them. I would not like to see you disappointed."

"Oh Mr. Bennet, I know, but I cannot help it! I just know he is for one of them, I can feel it."

Mr. Bennet looked fondly at his wife and shook his head, hoping her dreams would not be dashed, "Well, my love, I suppose I should pay a call on Sir William to see to the arrangements."

Standing, he folded his newspaper and laid it aside, then kissed his wife on the cheek before leaving. Let at last! And only three months since Sir William had taken over the management - clearly the Gentlemen's Association should have turned it over to the man years ago.

That evening in the Bennet household no other topic of conversation could hold the attention of the ladies. Netherfield Park was let at last!

Two weeks later...

As Mr. Bennet entered the drawing room six sets of eyes latched onto him, eager to hear what news he might bring. Mr. Bennet smiled enigmatically and proceeded slowly to his seat, making a great show of getting comfortable with many shiftings and sighs as he settled in, seemingly oblivious to the increasing impatience of the ladies of the family. Jane handed him his tea and cake and he indulged himself in a long sip, relishing the ladies' frustration.

"My dear, please!" his wife finally begged him, as he knew she would, "We are all waiting! Oh you take delight in vexing me!" Mrs. Bennet smiled, giving her teasing husband a playful swat.

"Oh no, Mrs. Bennet, it is not the vexing in which I take delight, but the apology for it afterward," he waggled his eyebrows and winked at his wife.

Mrs. Bennet blushed and her daughters all hid their smiles sharing amused glances among themselves. They were used to such scenes.

"Papa, please, what news do you bring," Elizabeth asked to a chorus of similar entreaties from Kitty and Lydia and looks of anticipation from Mary and Jane.

"Well, my dears," Mr. Bennet finally began, "As you know, I went to call on Mr. Bingley this morning."

"Yes, yes?" "Do go on..." "What is he like?" "Is he handsome?" "What is his age?" and "Papa!" were the various responses as he chose that moment to take a large bite of his cake. He chewed slowly, looking around at them all with a twinkle in his eye; it was not often that he got to indulge himself in teasing all six of his ladies at once.

At last he had done sporting with them and they came to learn that Mr. Bingley was a charming gentleman, exceedingly amiable, quite handsome, and just five and twenty.

"He also appears to be well educated and intelligent, which I know will especially appeal to you, Lizzy," he added, "But I must strongly caution you all, girls, and you too Mrs. Bennet! Do not hang your hopes on this young man. You all know the process. You all know the odds. We dine with four and twenty families and all the daughters and sisters of the neighborhood are in the running."

"We know, Papa," Elizabeth replied, "But we cannot help but be excited all the same - and it could be one of us."

"'Hope springs eternal,' Papa," Mary quoted.

"Just so," Jane added, "And even if it is none among us this time, we may yet rejoice and be happy for whichever of our neighbors is so fortunate."

"La! Jane! But that is just like you," Lydia smirked, "I should much rather be happy for us than for any of them!"

Kitty quickly agreed with Lydia and all the ladies fell into a lively discussion concerning the exciting prospects of latest addition to the neighborhood. Mr. Bennet repaired to his study after giving his wife a quick squeeze and a knowing grin. Lost in fond memories of his own stay at Netherfield a scant quarter century before he chuckled at what he knew lay ahead.

One week later...

"Mrs. Bennet, I fear I have some distressing news," Mr. Bennet sighed morosely while hiding a smile as he entered their private sitting room one evening.

"Distressing?" his wife asked, looking up from her novel.

"Yes, my love, but I am afraid of alarming you," he sat beside her taking her hand, concern painting all his features, but a gleam in his eye all the same.

"Just tell me, my dear," Mrs. Bennet whispered fearfully, "Has it something to do with one of the girls?"

"It may," he replied, solemnly, "It may."

"Oh! Mr. Bennet! Tell me at once, what has happened!"

"The Ladies meeting tomorrow has been canceled, my dear. I'm sorry to be the bearer of such tidings, but I have just come from Sir William, and it is so."

"Oh Mr. Bennet!" wailed his wife, "Why? Has Mr. Bingley left the country? Has he been injured? Has he... oh Lord forbid! Has he died?" her voice trembled away in a hushed whisper, her eyes widened and began to fill with tears.

Seeing his beloved wife on the verge of tears, Mr. Bennet knew he had carried his jest too far and was quick to reassure her.

"No no, Mrs. Bennet, calm yourself - I was teasing you - though the meeting is indeed canceled, it is the best of news!"

"The best? How can that be? Oh the girls will be so disappointed, they have so been looking forward to it," Mrs. Bennet sniffled and wiped her eyes on her husband's proffered handkerchief.

"Will they still be disappointed when they know their chances have been doubled by waiting only another three days?" Mr. Bennet asked with a sly grin.

Mrs. Bennet looked at her husband in astonishment, mutely begging for more information.

Mr. Bennet laughed and hugged his wife, "Mr. Bingley has a friend arriving tomorrow, my dear. Another young man to stay at Netherfield. Another single young man. The meeting is only postponed to make the necessary arrangements for two, when we had only been prepared for one!"

"Two! Oh my dear Mr. Bennet, just in time for the assembly next week! And you led me to believe..."

Drawing her close he murmured in her ear, "Are you vexed, my love?"

"Oh, I am vexed," she laughed, pushing him away, "Your apology will not be accepted quickly, I fear."

"That is just what I hoped," he grinned roguishly.

Three days later...

Fifty-seven young ladies met in the Meryton assembly hall - all exited, some trepidatious - as Lady Lucas called the meeting to order.

"You all know why we are here, and you should all know what to expect and how to behave," here she cast a warning glare upon the giggling and whispering youngest girls in the front row, who quickly sat up straight and quieted.

"No one is to look until all have resumed their places and I give the word, and school your features now, girls! No one is to reveal what they find, for good or ill, until after this meeting is adjourned. I will have no celebration, no gloating! and likewise no pouting, crying or histrionics. Is that clear?" her voice cracked like a whip.

A susurration of quiet assent filled the hall and Lady Lucas nodded sharply in satisfaction.

"Line up then, girls, come forward and take an envelope from the table."

Fifty-seven young ladies looked at one another, struggling to maintain indifferent expressions. Few were successful in maintaining that air of reserve the occasion called for.

Fifty-seven envelopes were laid out in rows, and fifty-seven eligible young ladies filed forward to each take one and return to their seats.

The air in the hall held a breathless tension as Lady Lucas then intoned, "Remember your instructions girls, you may open your envelopes."

The hall was filled with the sound of fifty-seven seals being cracked, the rustling of paper as fifty-seven envelopes were peeked into, and then the wails and cries of the few silly young ladies who failed to heed instruction and breached decorum to make their disappointment known. Lady Lucas carefully made note of the offenders: Penelope Harrington, Lydia Bennet, Catherine Bennet, Daphne Norris, Geraldine Goulding, Rebecca Thornapple and, to Lady Lucas's shame, her own Maria Lucas.

Those seven girls would not be allowed to participate in the next Ladies' meeting, whenever that might happen, nor would they attend any assemblies, balls or parties for the next year - their behavior had been disgraceful and they were, as a result, no longer 'out.'

Jane, Elizabeth and Mary walked slowly home to Longbourn following the Ladies meeting, accompanied by Charlotte Lucas. Mrs. Bennet had taken Kitty and Lydia home with her in the carriage, scolding them the entire way for their unseemly displays, and Lady Lucas had done likewise with Maria.

Elizabeth and Charlotte soon lagged behind Jane and Mary for some private conversation, each wishing to broach the subject of the outcome of the meeting, but neither quite knowing how.

Elizabeth finally ventured, "I did not really know what to expect, despite Mama's descriptions of what was to happen. I was not eligible for the last meeting - it was six years ago! Jane would tell me nothing about it. Neither would you," she sourly accused her best friend.

"I am sorry, Eliza, but you know the rules. Participants are not to impart information of any kind to non-initiates. Doing so means disqualification. I'm certain it is meant to preserve secrecy. In any case, you know now, and was it really so different from what your mother told you to expect?"

"No. Yes. Oh, I don't know!" Elizabeth cried, throwing her hands in the air, "I never expected the anticipation, the tension, the dread, the breathlessness - it felt as though the very air would smother me before it was over. The facts my mother presented were all borne out but they utterly failed to convey the feeling of it all."

Charlotte nodded and looked at the ground before her feet for several paces before again addressing her friend

"It exceeds the bounds of friendship I know, Eliza - I don't expect you to answer me - I hope you are not offended but I must ask, what did you find in your envelope?"

"Charlotte! You know you are more sister to me than friend, and more dear to me than any of my sisters, save Jane. I am not offended," Elizabeth attempted to laugh in her normal carefree manner, but the effort was stilted, then her voice lowered to a whisper, "My envelope contained naught but a blank sheet."

Charlotte's eyes brightened as she stopped and turned to her friend exclaiming, "Trade with me! Oh, please trade!" She snatched the envelope from Elizabeth's hand and replaced it with her own.

"Charlotte!" Elizabeth could only gape in astonishment.

"Oh please, Eliza!" Charlotte pleaded, "You know I have never been romantic, but you are! All I have ever wanted is a comfortable home, and I have that! My brother is to marry Miss King next month, and they both assure me I am not only welcome in their home but wanted, dare I say, needed! The last thing I want is the uncertain future in that envelope when the future I desire is already in my grasp! Please Eliza!"

The tears that coursed down Charlotte's cheeks through this declaration convinced Elizabeth; Charlotte was completely in earnest, desperate for a reprieve, and Elizabeth found herself not only in the happy position to grant that reprieve to her dearest friend but, in so doing, to satisfy the greatest wish of her own heart.

"Dear Charlotte, yes! Oh, thank you, yes! I will never be able to repay you! You have given me Jane's happiness, my dearest sister's happiness," Elizabeth burst into tears, hugging Charlotte, and they both spent their tears on each other's shoulders as they unwound from the stress of the day.

When Elizabeth entered the house all was quiet. It seemed everyone had withdrawn to sulk, meditate or otherwise seek peace in their own separate ways. She sought Jane and found her gazing out the window of the room they had shared since they were children. She quietly went to Jane's side and took her hand, silently joining her in contemplation of the orchards.

"Do you remember, Lizzy," Jane asked, "When we both dreamed we would marry princes and be carried off to exotic lands?"

"Yes, Jane," Lizzy laughed softly, "Your prince never seemed to encounter the dragon, as I recall. You would be up in the castle, or apple tree, as it were, and whenever I would call out that he approached the dragon you would cry, so I had to invent other, less menacing, obstacles in his path."

"Oh Lizzy, your prince had to become king first, do you remember? And then he had to face the dragon again and again - no encounter I invented was ever heroic enough, and finally you would descend the tree in exasperation and be the dragon yourself! It was all so easy then," Jane smiled a sad little smile and turned her gaze back to the orchard.

"I hate to see you so sad, Jane,"

"I'm not sad, Lizzy."

"You may call it pensive then, if you like, but I know you are sad. Is it the envelope?"

"Oh Lizzy, how can I be sad over something the entire neighborhood is thrilled about? And yet I am."

"Not the entire neighborhood, not since today's meeting - one quarter of the neighborhood is still thrilled, maybe.

Jane attempted a small laugh that ended more as a sob.

"Trade envelopes with me then, Jane. If what you see in the orchard makes you so unhappy trade with me. You know I will not be sad. I will face that paper dragon's-lair."

"Do you mean it, Lizzy?" Jane asked, "You would take my place in the castle?"

"With all my heart," Elizabeth held out her envelope to Jane. Jane hesitated then held out her own. They traded then both heaved a sigh.

Some minutes passed with each sister waiting for the other to look in the envelope, taking it in turns to eye each other surreptitiously.

"Jane, will you..." and "Lizzy, are you..." they spoke at the same moment.

"I thought you..." "But you said..."

Jane and Elizabeth stared at the other.

"Your card was not blank, was it, Jane?"

Jane shook her head, "Nor was your's?" she asked though she already knew the answer.

"Then why were you sad, Jane? I thought you wanted... that's why I traded with you, so you could have..." Elizabeth's voice trailed away.

"I did want it. I do," Jane replied, "Papa's description of Mr. Bingley, everything we have heard about him, would have answered my fondest wishes. I fully expected my card to be blank and I was prepared for that, but to open it and find... I am heartily ashamed of myself Lizzy. I was given the greatest of blessings and could only feel grief that it was not the blessing I desired, when so many others went home today sorely disappointed.

"But everything we have heard of Mr. Bingley's friend frightened me. The reports of his reserved demeanor, his large estate, his family's ties to the peerage. How could I ever fit into that world? And now I have even more reason to feel shame: while you selflessly gave me my greatest desire, I handed back to you a fate I could not face.

"I will trade back with you, Lizzy. You do not have to suffer for my selfishness. You do not have to take my place in the castle."

Elizabeth pulled Jane into a fierce embrace, "Suffer? You know that is not how Netherfield works - just look at Mama and Papa! Oh Jane, don't you see? This is perfect! I heard all the same reports you did! Mr. Bingley sounds like a wonderful man, but I have been beyond intrigued by what we have heard of his friend. That man sounds like a challenge to me, the adventure I have been craving! Not to mention that Aunt Philips says he is even more handsome than your Mr. Bingley," Elizabeth gave Jane a sly look, "No Jane, you will have your prince, and I will gladly take the king, and the castle!"

Finally the girls bent to look into their envelopes, each knowing what the other would find.

Jane's held a reddish-blonde curl and a card bearing the name "Charles H. Bingley."

Elizabeth's card read "Fitzwilliam T. Darcy" and the silky lock was black as soot.

"Now one question remains," Elizabeth said, "Do we tell our parents our good fortune, or do we quietly make our charms and leave them to be surprised at the assembly with all the rest of Meryton?"

"Let's just tell Papa," Jane giggled, "He will keep our secrets, and it would not do to deprive him of such an excellent opportunity to vex Mama."

Five days later...

A hush fell over the assembly as the party from Netherfield entered the hall. All of Meryton was eager to learn which lucky ladies the new gentlemen were intended for. As the Netherfield party, assisted by Sir William, made the rounds of introduction it was quickly apparent that Mr. Bingley was now the rightful property of Jane Bennet - from the moment he laid eyes on her it was clear he was completely in thrall, and many sighed contentedly and smiled at the sight.

But what of his friend? That man remained distant and aloof, his austere countenance betraying no inclination toward any of the assembled ladies.

As the evening progressed tension in the ballroom thickened as the assembled citizens covertly maintained watch. The matrons and daughters whispered among themselves, speculating, and the Meryton gentlemen quietly made bets. It was apparent that the gentleman in question felt the scrutiny for he seemed, impossibly, to become even more withdrawn.

Finally, Mr. Bingley took notice of his friend's ill ease and tore himself away from Jane long enough to try to alleviate his misery.

"Come, Darcy,'' he said, "I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.''

"I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. There is not a woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.''

"I would not be so fastidious,'' cried Bingley, "for a kingdom! Upon my honour I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life; and there are several of them uncommonly pretty.''

"You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,'' said Mr. Darcy.

"Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.''

"Which do you mean?'' turning around he caught Elizabeth's eye and the cold phrase he had begun to utter suddenly altered, "She is tolerab...ly enchanting," he finished with a grin.

Striding forward Darcy called over his shoulder, "Never mind, Bingley, I'll introduce myself!"

Across the room Mr. Bennet chuckled as the scene played out and he lifted his glass in a silent toast to Netherfield Park.

Moving to stand behind his wife he leaned forward and spoke in her ear, "How about that, Mrs. Bennet?"

"Oh! Mr. Bennet! Both of them! Who could have imagined it?" she turned to him, eyes shining, and he gave her a knowing, self-satisfied smirk.

Her eyes narrowed, "You knew! How could you not tell me!"

"What? And spoil the surprise? Mrs. Bennet, I would never do that to you."

Mrs. Bennet scowled at her husband, arms crossed and foot tapping.

"I hope, my dear," Mr. Bennet said, feigning chagrin, "That you are not too very vexed with me."

"Oh, I am well past vexed, Mr. Bennet," she replied with a grin as she grabbed his hand to drag him from the ballroom, "I am most seriously displeased!"

Hoping you all enjoyed my little bit of nonsense - happy reading!

-AliasKelly