The Masters Return

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Ezra:

I sit a room away from everyone meditating. Kanan had suggested I do it after we got back. He thinks it will help me cope with everything. Right now I can see everything everyone is doing. Hera's in the cockpit, Sabine's painting, Zeb is going into our cabin to take a nap. To them everything is normal. Kanan is about to climb a ladder to the top of the ghost, he's keeping an eye on me through the force.

It's all my fault. Why did I ever trust that demon. Ahsoka and Depa are both dead because of me. Depa died because I trusted Maul. Ahsoka died because I couldn't fight Vader myself. My lightsaber is gone. All I have now is this stupid Sith Holocron I can't even open. Maybe I can. What all did Maul say about it. To open it you had to be a Sith or think like one.

How does a Sith think? Kanan said a Sith use their emotions to fuel them. That they use them to command the force like it's their slave. Maul said to use my anger, fear, and pain to strengthen my connection to the force. Those are pretty strong and dark emotions. Ones I've known a lot about in the past. When have I used the dark side before. One when the Grand Inquisitor had me up against a cliff. Kanan was knocked out cold. The Inquisitor was going to kill both of us. I was scared I was going to lose him. Not for my own death but for his. The second time was when I was with Maul. We where on Malacore. I had been separated from everyone else that I was there with. The ground keep clasping beneath my feet. I felt cold and I was scared my friends would run into trouble. I used fear both times.

Fear, anger, pain, suffering. Those were the four emotions Maul wanted me to focus on when we entered the Sith temple. He was completely set on getting revenge. It seemed to drive him. He told me his past and had me focus on the past. On what I had lost and how I felt about it. His motivated him. He helped me only because it benefited him.

A Sith must focus on their emotions. They must look back and focus on every bad thing that happened to them in the past. They dwell on their fear, anger, & pain. They must suffer a lot focusing on those emotions. Dwell on everything they lost and always seeking revenge. Sith are selfish.I can do that.

The Empire took away my parents. Then they killed them. I lost my parents, my family, my home, my childhood, my friends, everything because of the empire. Sure I eventually met the Ghost crew and they became my family. The other rebels became my friends. I fear losing them too. I'm mad at myself for letting two more die, and trusting Maul. He tried to hurt Kanan and killed Depa. Part of me wants to destroy the empire to get back at them for everything it took from me. I also want to kill Maul and Vader for trying to hurt my friends and family. Especially Vader because of everything he did to the Jedi and he's an imperial. Maul isn't, plus he could teach me more about the dark side. Not that I would ever trust him again but I know he'll be back. I'll have to decide then what I really want. Right now I just want to open this stupid thing to see if it was worth everything it coast me. I selfishly want the life I should have had.

The Sith Holocron opens and I open my eyes to look at it. It opens when you think just the opposite of Kanan's that's interesting to know. It's red glow reflects off my eyes as I bring my head up. A sly smile forming on my face like I just got away with stealing something that is worth a lot. I actually did it.

Kanan turns his head in my direction. He can senses what I just did. He knows I opened it. He didn't know I still have it. This isn't why he sent me to mediate. He wanted me to relax and stop focusing on how I feel. Not to focus on them. He was scared this would happen. He's not happy about this. If I wasn't in trouble already I am now. Opening a Sith Holocron is definitely high up there on the list of things Jedi aren't supposed to do. I know that and I choose to do it anyways. Sure I ca explain why I did it but Kanan isn't going to take any of this. I don't know how he's going to punish me but it's going to be big.

Worst punishment I can think of is washing the ghost with him and Rex. Those two will constantly be fighting worst then Zeb, Chopper, and I do. Kanan still doesn't trust him. I finally understand why. Rex is a clone. Kanan and Depa fought alongside the clones. They trusted them and the clones betrayed them after everything they did together. After everything they accomplished together they betrayed them. Rex and all other clones lost the respect and trust of every Jedi that survived after that. I had just done the same thing with Maul. I had trusted him. I talked the others into trusting him. I helped him and he helped me. Then he turned on all of us. He sent me to face Vader on my own. He tried to hurt Kanan. He killed Depa. He tried to take me away from my friends and family, from my master.

Maul said he was ripped out of his mothers arms as a child by the Sith. That they killed his family. They stripped him of his name and gave him a new one with a title in front of it. He didn't even remember his real name anymore. They took everything from him so he could be one of them. He was going to do the same thing to me. I already lost everything because of the empire and after I work hard to get it all back. Once I find a new family and friends that actually care for me and he wants to take it all away from me again.

Ahsoka said that to defeat ones enemy you must first understand them. Maul said the same thing but to the point of practicing their beliefs. Kanan might not agree with it. I understand how the Sith think now. Now that I can do that we might actually be able to figure out how to defeat them. I need to learn more about the Sith first still but once I do I will be able to look at things their way see what they would do. Then we can plan around that and stay one step ahead of them. I don't want revenge. I want to end the empire so everyone can be free and no one will have to go through what I went through.

I close the Holocron. For now I learn enough information from it. Kanan is on his way to find me. He might already know what I've done but if he catches me with it still open I'll be in bigger trouble. I then proceed to put it away.

"Hand it over Padawan." Kanan says.

"Hand what over?" I ask. "I'm not sure what your talking about."

"Don't act innocent. I know you opened it. You know I sensed it. Now hand it over."

"I had to see if it was worth everything it cost us."

"Trust me it wasn't."

"Ahsoka said that we were there to gain forbidden knowledge on the Sith. That to defeat your enemy you must understand them. What better way to do it then to open this thing."

"But not at the risk of losing yourself in the process Ezra. If you lose sight of what you're fighting for then what's the point of fighting. If you don't keep to your morals then how are you any better than the Sith."

"I haven't lost sight of why I'm fighting."

"Ezra, we all ready lost two friends to get that Holocron. I almost lost my sight and you as well. Isn't that a high enough price to pay for it. Don't let it cost me your life too. It definitely not worth that."

"'We have all faced losses and we're sure to lose more before this is over. You have to know when to make that sacrifice for the good of others.'" I quote him. Throwing his own words back at him. I still remember that conversation. That night we hacked the communication tower and broadcasted our message of freedom and hope to the galaxy. Kanan sacrificed himself to allow the rest of us to get away. We all thought we lost him for good. We almost did. I almost lost my life rescuing him. The entire crew would have died if Chopper hadn't called Ahsoka for help and gotten the help of the other rebels. I had kept that in mind when I surrender to the two inquisitors to save Sabine and Zeb. Sure they captured Sabine anyways. Thank goodness Zeb and Chopper saved us.

"Don't you dare use my own words to argue with me. I said that because anyone of us could be captured or die at anytime on any given mission." He argues back.

"How is this any different than what you did then?"

"Ezra, losing you in battle is one thing. Sacrificing yourself for others is another. I can accept losing you ether way. However losing you to the dark side is something totally different. That's worst then death. That Holocron isn't worth that. Nothing is worth that. If you're willing to do that then your no better than Vader. If that's the case then kill me now. I won't fight you." He says.

"Kanan, I could never kill you." I say.

"You say that now, but what about when your engulfed in the dark like my master is?" Ahsoka says. She is standing between Kanan and I. She looks like a holoimage, blue and I can see through her. "Anakin once promised me he never let anyone hurt me. He became Vader. He killed the woman he cared for the must. He turned against the Jedi. Fought his own master that was like a father to him. Then he fought and killed me. He broke his promise to me. Who's to say that you wouldn't do the same. Ezra the two of you are a lot alike. Don't make the same mistake he did. Promise me that."

"I promise." I say handing Kanan the Holocron.

"Good." Both Kanan and Ahsoka say simultaneously.

"I'm going to get rid of this thing. You will not go searching for it no matter what. If I ever catch you with it again I will send you a suede mission. Do you understand me Padawan?" Kanan says.

"I understand master." I say. It won't necessarily stop me. I'm still a little thief. Seven years of living on the streets and you get pretty good at getting things from people without them ever knowing about it. Sometimes I even dumpster dived for stuff I could use to survive. This wouldn't be the first time I got something back someone took away from me and then throw it away. It probably won't be the last time ether. I'll just have to be more careful once I get it back. If I really want it back that is. Kanan was right about one thing. That thing cost us too much.

"Ezra don't think like that. No one died for that Holocron. Master Billaba died to make sure Kanan got to see everyone he cared for again and so Maul wouldn't be able to take you away from him. I fought Vader to save you. I distracted him so you could get away and keep that Holocron out of his hands. I could have gone with you. I choose to stay because I couldn't leave my master again. I had to try and save him from himself. I died trying to bring someone back from the dark side. If you fall as well then master Billaba and I died in vain. Don't let that happen Ezra." Ahsoka says.

"I can't make that promise Ahsoka. I'll try my best but if that's the only way to win this war then I'll do what I have to." I tell her.

"There is no try here Ezra. You can't do what you think you can. You can't embrace the dark side and stay true to yourself. You won't be yourself. That's why Maul doesn't remember his real name. He hasn't been that guy for so long he doesn't even remember him. Vader remembers Anakin Skywalker but he's not the man he used to be. The Anakin I knew would never do those things he's done. The Ezra I know would never hurt his friends by stooping that low. He is to kind to hurt or kill others unless they were hurting others. Stay that way Ezra." She says. "Stay the kind young man I know and care for."

"I'll keep that in mind but even if I do get it back I'm not choosing the dark side. I plan on using it to stay one step ahead of the empire. Nothing more than that." I tell her.

"Then I guess I'm going to have to make sure you can't get to it. If you won't even listen to Ahsoka on this then you don't leave me with any other choice. You are not to leave this ship without at least one other crew members with you at all times. You can only leave the base for missions. Off base you will not leave my sight unless I tell you to get back on the ship. If you're going to act like a spoiled child that isn't getting their way then I'll treat you like one. I might not be able to always protect you. Especially from yourself but I can protect you from that Holocron."

"I don't need protecting. I don't need you treating me like a child Kanan. I haven't been a child in years. Maybe I am in age but not in reality. I lived on my own for years only caring for myself. No ones babied me in eight years and I don't need anyone to do it now." I say.

"Like hell you don't. You lived seven years without any discipline at all. Then you meet me and became my Padawan. I realize that was a big change for you to go from not having any rules to following one of the strictest and most disciplined codes in the galaxy. I tried to make it easier for your by being more lenient with you. I see now that was a mistake. You need the discipline after all. If you want to be a Jedi and continue your training your going to have to make the same oath I did when I started training under my master. Only instead of it being to the republic it will be to the rebellion and this crew." Kanan says. I've never seen him this mad. I've never even seen him looking at Rex that way. I'm never going to get away with anything ever again. I've completely lost his trust and it's going to take a lot to earn it back. This is exactly what I deserve yet it still catches me completely by surprise. I never expected him to do this.

• Well this is it. The epilogue to The Masters Return. I have now set the stage for Ghost of the Past. Good bye Depa. We'll miss you dearly. I'm kinda sad this is ending. The last few chapters were hard for me to write. I kinda got in a writing mood over the past few days and had to finish this off. Keep an eye out for my next story and any of my other stories. Please review this. As always and for the last time in this story

• may the force be with you always.

• Cass