Helpless. That's how Detective Javier Esposito feels at this exact moment. He hates feeling this way. But which moment exactly?

When Kevin was unbuttoning his shirt to check for broken ribs? Or when he was shoving him against the wall pressing their lips together before vanishing in the sea of approaching medics?

Or was it rather recently? When the flashbang went off and he couldn't stop his partner's head from hitting the step as Kevin pushed him down? When they woke up on their knees next to each other wrists bound behind them, a vat of water of ice water awaiting one of them. When a professional killer began threatening them with torture if they didn't cooperate and assured death for them and their loved ones if they did? Was it when the rope began biting into his neck as he struggled to get to his innocent brother as they dunked him again and again into that freezing water?

"STOP!" He'd had enough.

Kevin is yanked from the water forcefully, nails digging into his hair and scalp.

Gasping for air, he coughs then shivers audibly with a shuddering groan. "Don't tell these jackholes anything," comes out as a wheeze.

"I'm sorry, bro, I can't watch this," Javier turns to Lockwood and says reluctantly, "The cops already know about...me and your mom."

Kevin can't help himself and even though it hurts, he chuckles weakly. Exchanging a grin with Javier.

Calmly Lockwood glances at Ryan. "Shoot out one of his kneecaps."

His humor vanishes in an instant.

A heartbeat later his back slams into the concrete, his head and bound wrists bouncing painfully off the hard, wet surface.

"NO!" Javier's strangled cry breaks Kevin's heart.

Determined to make this as painless for his partner as possible, he bites down on his lip, closes his eyes and sends up a quick prayer.

Javier struggles as much as he can; this can't be happening.

A finger tightens on the trigger at the same time a door bangs open across the room.

BABANG!

Two shots. Almost in unison. One just a little too late.

Then a scream of pure agony rips its way out of Kevin's body. The goon standing over him collapses to the ground and everyone else scatters.

With nobody holding him back, Javier immediately throws himself at his partner, knees landing in a steadily growing puddle of crimson.

With his hands still bound behind him all he can do is slump on his knees next to Kevin. He prays and sobs, his tears showering Kevin and mixing with the blood.

Kevin's eyes are closed and Javier prays he passed out from pain.

He doesn't hear the firefight around him, doesn't see the bad guys go down, the stray bullets flying. All he sees is the man in front of him.

Kevin is pale, too pale. His chest barely rises and falls, the only sign of life. Blood pours from his knee. Tears sprinkle his face as well as droplets of water and tiny chips of ice.

Javier sits besides him, watching his chest struggling to rise and fall, the blood that pours out with every shallow beat of Kevin's heart.

Eventually he's aware of Beckett and Castle besides him but he knows they're already too late. He knows they're the only one's there. Nobody called in the cavalry ahead of time. Javier is a veteran of war and he knows the terrible truth. Once a puddle of blood reaches a certain size there is no coming back, not unless help is seconds away.

He lays his head down on Kevin's soaked chest. He listens to Kevin's increasingly struggling heartbeat. He feels the slight rise and fall of Kevin's weak chest.

Helpless. That's how Detective Javier Esposito feels at this exact moment. He hates feeling this way.

Time grows between both heartbeat and breath. Strength decreases as well. Kevin Ryan is fighting a losing battle for his life. The worst part is Javier feels responsible.

That and Kevin's not awake to do the fighting. Isn't aware of his tears. Isn't aware of his presence. They're both completely alone and together at the same time.

Kevin's heart stops beating in Javier's ear. His chest stills under Javier's head. The blood no longer gushes with each beat. Death has won the battle. Kevin is gone. Javier's heart is broken.