He had meant to call, he really had. He hadn't meant to leave without a word for four months. It had only taken him and Gina five days to realize why they had gotten a divorce, and it had only taken a month to finish his manuscript. The rest of the summer had been spent with Alexis doing normal father-daughter-summer activities. As much fun as he had had with his daughter, he had sorely missed the 12th. He hadn't meant to let his leave of absence last this long, but the truth was he was a coward.

He wasn't sure how he had left things with Beckett. Those last few days had been filled with more than a few awkward pauses and not a lot of police cruiser conversation. The boys had kept things light, but there had definitely been tension underneath. He knew he was falling in love with her. Had already fallen in love with her. But she was with Demming and he had to respect that. She was way too good for him anyhow.

So, yes, he had meant to call. Especially when he discovered Maya Santori, but the boys had burst in before he could. He tried to explain that to them in his interrogation, but they were not having any of it.

"Alright Castle, Cap says we have to cut you loose." Espo said as he swung the door open, effectively ending Castle's inner struggle. "Don't think this means you're off the hook though."

"Still shoulda called," Ryan mumbled under his breath from his spot on the other side of the door.

"Look, you guys, I was going to call you. I really, was, but you burst in before I could." He reasoned.

"Yeah, yeah, we heard it the first time Castle. Let's go." They all walked out, Castle behind the boys as they made their way to the elevator.

"No, wait, guys. I want in. On the case. You can't just kick me out now! I haven't even seen Beckett yet. Wait." He said looking around, brow furrowed, for his favorite dark-haired detective. "Where is Beckett?"

"Not here." Ryan answered.

"What do you mean, 'not here'? Where else would she be? It is the middle of the afternoon!" The boys looked at one another and Espo punched the down button for the elevator. "Is something wrong with her? Guys, you would tell me if something was wrong right?"

"Castle, calm down. She just took some time off, okay?" Ryan said it with such nonchalance, but red flags were standing at attention in Castle's mind. Kate Beckett did not take time off. Ever. Only when Montgomery ordered her home, aside from that she was the first to arrive and the last to leave everyday.

Before he could finish processing the mystery time off, the elevator arrived and the doors opened. Castle turned his back to the elevator and faced the boys not ready to drop the conversation.

"Well, its been great Castle." Ryan said taking a step towards him and the elevator.

"Thanks for contaminating the crime scene." Another step.

"We'll tell Beckett you stopped by." Step and a shove. Before he knew it he was watching the elevator doors close as the boys waved from the other side.

His mind was still reeling when he made it back out onto the street. He couldn't imagine a reason that she would take time off, well nothing that was good. Had she been suspended? Had she been hurt? Did she run off into the sunset with Demming? No, that was ridiculous. She would never do that.

The possibilities turned over and over in his mind as he made his way back to the loft.

KBKBKBKBKBB

You know for a mystery writer, he really hated mysteries. It took him exactly one hour to go completely insane in his loft thinking of all the awful scenarios that went along with 'time off'. He tried to convince himself that people took time off all the time. It was normal for people to go on vacation, alone or with their significant others. The problem was that Kate Beckett was not 'people', she was Kate Beckett. She was 'The extraordinary KB' and she did not take time off.

He tried calling her first. It wasn't exactly ideal, but it was what he should have done three months ago. She didn't answer. Nor did she answer the next five times he called. That worried him even more. She always had her phone with her, day and night, and she never turned it off. She woke to murder calls at three in the morning for Christ sake, this was not like her at all.

He thought about going to Lanie, but considering the less than warm welcome he received from the boys he wasn't so sure that would go over well. So, he decided on a full on invasion.

The ride to her apartment was spent going over what he was going to say to her. It had been almost four months since he had seen her. And after spending every single day with her for two years, four months was a lifetime. He had missed her terribly. Wow, he was going soft.

After Gina left, he had found himself with a lot of time to think. Most of his thoughts had drifted to a certain gorgeous detective. He thought about how he felt when he was with her and all the ways he worked to make her smile. He thought about her laugh and how she didn't let it out nearly enough. He thought about the two weeks she had spent in his loft and how well she fit with his family. How they would come home and she would help Alexis with her school work or they would all cuddle up on the couch for a movie night. She just fit. In his life, in his home, in his family, and especially in his heart.

He was sure of his feelings now, more sure than he had been when he left. But somehow he doesn't think that showing up at her door and professing his love is the way to go. Yeah, probably not. They weren't ready for that yet.

He just needed time with her, time to make her see how well they fit together. They could be good for each other, he could work to deserve her and love her the way she deserved to be loved. He was certain that he could make her see, if only she would give him a chance.

When he arrived at her apartment he hastily paid the cabbie and jumped out. It was now or never. He wrote books for a living, surely he would be able to come up with something to say to her, some reasonable thing to say that wasn't anywhere near 'I love you'. He really needed to get a handle on his emotions if he wanted to get back to working with her everyday, that is, if she was planning on working everyday.

He was halfway through her buildings very tiny lobby when he heard the doorman calling his name.

"Mr. Castle!" He exclaimed. Castle halted and turned around. He was impressed. He had only been to her apartment a couple of times, and only been in the lobby or further when he helped her move in. He hadn't expected to be recognized, he didn't even know her doorman was on duty this early. "You are here for Ms. Beckett, no?"

"Yeah, yes. Is she not here?"

"No, she is out. You will wait here?" Castle liked the kind foreign man. He seemed a little too casual about giving out information, but at least he knew who Castle was and maybe he could use this to his favor.

"Do you know where she went?" At this the man paused and looked Castle up and down. Rick huffed impatiently and pulled out a ten.

"The park down the street. Left not long ago."

"Thank you." He replied as he placed the money in the doorman's hands, hoping that the doorman was not so easily bought by strangers. He would have to talk to Beckett about it later.

The park wasn't far from her apartment, he remembered passing it on the way here in the cab. It was more of a playground than a park. His interest was piqued. But he was also relieved to know that she hadn't completely disappeared off the face of the earth.

He rounded the corner of the last block and stopped in his tracks. His eyes were immediately drawn to her. He expected to see her running or taking a leisurely walk or simply sitting on a bench reading a book. But Kate Beckett was nothing if not a mystery. No, she wasn't doing the normal adult park activities, she was the on the swings.

Her hair was hanging in loose waves around her shoulders, longer than he remembered and even more beautiful. Her eyes were covered with dark sunglasses, and he found himself wishing she would take them off so he could see the mesmerizing way her eyes caught the sunlight. Her normally starched and pressed business attire had been replaced with a much more casual and bright flowing ensemble. The most notable difference was not her hair or the clothes, but the beaming smile on her face.

She was practically glowing with it. It was wide and open and free. Three words that he would have never used to describe the reserved and slightly hidden smiles he was used to seeing. She looked happy. Truly happy. He had never seen her like this, and it made his smile widen at the sight.

He started moving faster, wanting to be near her and share what had made her smile so freely. But what he saw when he came around the brick wall and the scattering of small trees cleared paralyzed him where he stood. He had no words, the breath left his lungs, and he simply stared, completely slack jawed. As if Kate Beckett sitting in a children's swing with a huge smile on her face wasn't enough to make his heart skip a beat, she was cradling a tiny little girl against her chest.

TBC.

I have been thinking about this story for a while now, and I am so glad to finally be putting it down on paper. I hope you enjoy and I would love to hear from you!