Water Goddess

"Senju Ai is now but a memory. A memory locked away in the mind of Uchiha Ai, youngest sister of Uchiha Madara… What could possibly go wrong?" Continuation of: Broken. WARNINGS: Strong OC, OC-centric, Dark, Gore. Rated M for: Adult situations (limes), language and shinobi business.

Arc 2—Summer—Chapter 18—Open to Interpretation

8-8

No matter how many times I close my eyes, the second they open I'm once again faced with a stranger. She's always there, in the mirror, staring back at me. She's always looking at me like I don't belong; that I shouldn't exist. It's why I hate mirrors.

The same nose as Madara and his stupid father. The same eyes as every two-bit shitstain walking around like they own the place. The same chin as her mother—coincidentally the only thing I like. Her waist-length hair is black as coal, and French braided to keep it out of the way. Her kimono is snow white—undyed, to show she prepares for her the day she 'dons another clan's colours', in keeping with her captors' traditions. Her twin blades and the impressive collection of scars and callouses speak of her dedication to the Shinobi Arts. Her muscles tense and bulge as I regard her.

Uchiha Ai. The bane of my fucking existence. I swear, the gods have a sense of humour I am utterly incapable of grasping.

"Mama?" My eyes instinctively shift to take in my babies. Tanyu and Raiza. I smile warmly, trying my best to shake off the sewage swimming around in my head. "Daddy's waiting outside."

"I'll be right out," I say, turning my attention back to the mirror. There's a knock at the door, but it isn't Tobi I sense waiting just outside. It's Suika, my soon-to-be mother-in-law. "Come in."

The door slides open, revealing the silver-haired beauty I can't say I know much about. Her blood red eyes take me in, studying me. She enters, sliding the door shut behind her. "You've been avoiding me, daughter," she says, no hint of accusation in her tone. She's merely stating what she sees as a fact.

"Why would you think that?" I ask, my tone polite but distant. I don't believe I've been avoiding anyone—not any more or any less than I usually do.

"We've lived under the same roof for years, and you've never taken the time to speak to me." I shrug, conceding her point.

"I'm sorry. It's not something I do on purpose. I'm…not good with people," I say, laying my handheld mirror back in its case, closing it and stowing it. I won't need it for my earrings anyway.

"Is that so," she says, her tone flat yet somehow not hinting at whether she believes me or not. "You don't seem to mind your daughters, or any of my children."

Sigh. "Some things don't make sense, no matter how many times you explain them," I intone, knowing already she'll say something along the lines of 'try me'.

"Why are you convinced of that?" Same thing.

"Once upon a time," I begin, grabbing my little box with my earrings. I fish out two golden studs, setting them aside to stab them into my ears. "There was a kingdom hidden under a leaf. In that kingdom there was a princess whose heart was both fragile and strong, whose love could only follow suit."

I turn to Suika, inviting her with a wave to sit and join me. "Though everyone loved the princess," I continue as she makes herself comfortable in front of me. Her eyes smile as she regards me this time—perhaps she's seeing that I'm always busy. "There were few she truly trusted. She'd been hurt before, you see. Hurt so many times, her heart shattered so often that it never truly healed."

Taking the first earring, I slip off the back piece and stab the rod into the little hole in my earlobe. "Then one day, she met a woman. Though not her mother, the woman loved the princess like no other. She cooked for her, taught her everything she knew, guarded her. The woman would hold her when the princess was scared, especially when the princess didn't want to admit it."

Stupid back piece! Just fit the damn rod into your stupid hole and let me continue with my other fucking ear!

"In time, the princess learned of something bad. An attack on the kingdom under the leaf. She rushed to warn the woman, fearing she would be hurt. All the woman seemed to care about, though, was keeping the princess safe. So even as the princess begged and cried, all the woman could say was that she needed the princess locked away in an ivory tower, so the woman could deal with the invaders herself."

Finally! Stupid piece of shit. That only took forever, and Tobi's already waiting for me.

"The invaders came, and the woman thwarted them all. She stood on the battlefield, victorious, but that isn't what her heart desired. So she rushed to the ivory tower to fetch her princess. Only, she found the princess unconscious. You see, the princess healed an elderly man, and she needed to rest." The second earring slips and is back-pieced quickly, so I figure I should hurry this along.

There's another knock on the door. It's Madara and Hashi this time. I roll my eyes. "It's rude to bother a lady when she's getting ready," I snipe. One of them starts talking something about something that has nothing to do with anything I care about. "If I have to tell the Uzumaki twins about this, I promise it'll include the pair of you sneaking a peek."

Suddenly there are no chakra signatures outside my door, only the residue of who once stood there. "Amateurs." I shake my head and roll my eyes, wondering when those two will ever learn.

"We'll have to continue our little story another time. It is a long tale," I say, turning back to my little table and pulling a drawer open. I take out the scroll within, stuffing it into my sleeve for safekeeping.

"What was the princess's name?" Suika asks, still sitting down and seeming to refuse that this is over. There's a begging in her eyes—something I had no reason to expect.

"What does it matter?" I ask, closing the drawer and standing up. "It's but a story."

"It matters a great deal. Every story has characters, and those characters have a name. It's the way of the world," she argues, tears welling up in her eyes. Fine, you nutjob. "So what would you name the princess? This princess whose heart is so strong and fragile."

"I call her a corpse. It is how the story ends, after all," I intone. With a motion of my hand, I beckon my daughters to follow, and we leave Suika just where she sits. "Not all stories have a happily ever after."

8-8

I open the portal, walking through ahead of our group. The Uchiha compound. The everything looks dilapidated, unkept over the years as they were. I stick my hand back through the portal, beckoning for the others to follow.

Tobi comes through, wrapping his arms around me just because he can. Hashi and Madara come through, each with a redhead for arm candy. Then come my babies. Raiza and Tanyu come out, looking every bit like the sisters they are. Itama, Kawarama, and Touka are quick to follow. Then comes Suika, for some fucking reason.

We're all dressed in our armours, all armed to the teeth. Other than Suika. She's wearing the same battle dress as before, the blue one with furred ruffles.

I cast my senses about me, wondering where the fools are that I know will be following us soon enough. There's nothing I can yet sense, so I give the all-clear, and walk…try to walk ahead. Tobi's being a bit clingy, and he seems intent on not doing much of anything just yet.

Sigh. I close the portal and stow my fan. "Well, Tobirama. We're out here. What did you have in mind?" If he says anything about making love, I'm teleporting the pair of us somewhere far, far away.

"I'm hungry," he says instead. Killjoy. "I say we get something cooking, and we make camp."

Why do I love him again? –Rika. We're here. No sign of trouble.– I update her via my seal. She only gives an amused wave of emotion as a response.

"I'll hunt," Madara offers, already body flickering out of the compound and into the wilds around us.

"Ooh! We'll go gather fruits!" Touka jumps up, grabbing her two brothers just to annoy them. Or did she happen to grab them, and they happen to be annoyed with her for volunteering them? Well, at least they aren't fighting.

"I'll go check the soup garden!" Tanyu offers. I narrow my eyes, seeing a pattern here. Turning to Tobi, I glare daggers at him, warning him that he's going to be in deep shit the second I get him away from his mother.

"Good idea, sis!" Raiza enthuses, linking arms with her just before they body flicker together.

Uh huh. So our five babies are now out of my sight, and Tobi's still holding me by my waist to prevent me from stopping them.

"You know what?" What, Hashirama? Did you remember your lines too late and now need to make a hasty exit? "I think I'll give Madara a hand. Ladies?" He offers an elbow to each of the twins, and they loop an arm around it.

"Be good, little sister," Mito says, her eyes smiling.

"Don't kill anyone while we're out," Miho says, her whole face lit up. They disappear not a second later. That leaves Suika, Tobirama, and myself. And I'm still quite literally being held in place.

"Tobi. Explain. Now." My tone comes out icy and dark. I'm in no mood for bullshit, whether I can sense my babies or not.

"It's alright, love. When's the last time we had some time to just unwind?"

"I. Said. Now."

Suika laughs, covering her mouth with her eyes closed. I glare at her, wondering what it is about her that Tobi seems so hellbent on getting us alone.

"It's simple, love," he soothes, holding me a little tighter—just my middle, so I can smack him if he misbehaves. "I want you to get used to being out in the world again. We're strong enough to protect our babies, and we can both sense that they are nearby and that they aren't being targeted. So I figure we can sit down, relax, and get used to being here."

Sigh. "You're an ass. You know that?"

"Did you notice the gentle breeze?"

"I fucking hated being here when I lived here. What the fuck do you think?"

"Did you notice the midday sun?"

"Keep it up. I dare you."

"Did—"

WHAP!

Tobi's pale cheek now has the perfect imprint of my hand. "Senju. Tobirama. Cut that shit out. You know I hate this fucking place. So don't expect me to be all roses and sunshine in a damned bottle for being here."

"Why would you hate being in—"

WHAP!

"That's two." I shove him back to boot, glaring holes into him. "You know what. I think it's time I fucking showed you just how much I like this place."

I grab him by the ear and drag his ass along. Right into the main house, right up to the third floor, and down the hall to our old stomping grounds. The markings for 'Senju Ai' are barely visible anymore, but I can still make it out all the same. Suika runs her finger over the marking, in the same pace and style I wrote it—I don't know why the hell she followed us, though.

Sliding the door open, I shove Tobi ahead. It's all just as we left it. The low table, the tatami mats, the footprints of Raiza and Tanyu in the centre beam when they turned five. "Welcome to my world, Tobirama. This room. This is it. This is where I spent almost every waking minute of my life while I lived here."

Tobi runs his finger over the footprints, his eyes looking around the somewhat spacious room. "The bathroom we used is two doors down, and it's cramped as all fuck—barely big enough for two occupants. But this room. This is where we trained. Where our children played. Where we slept. Where we spent our free time. Every time we left this room, we needed a damn good reason, and it always led to an interview with his high-strungness."

"I'm sorry," Suika murmurs, tears in her eyes. "You were prisoners, almost."

"Yes." I nod, crossing my arms—and checking on my babies to make sure they're still safe. No distress, no chakra usage, nothing but amusement from Tanyu, so I know Rai is up to no good again. And Touka seems to have a shorter fuse than usual—just what are her brothers doing to her this time? "Now let's get the fuck out of here. Makes my skin crawl."

"Your killing intent," Suika says, distracting me just as I was turning. "You've used it in these halls. Quite often, if I'm not mistaken. And these are your mother's seals. One of which is to block all emotions from spilling out into the rest of the house."

The soft tone, the hurt undertone, the way she aches for what I must have gone through. I find myself unable to stay upset about my past, for some reason. "Yes. Father always was an insufferable ass. It's only when I grew strong enough to tear through most of the clan that he started giving a shit about what I had to say. So I lost my temper more often than not. Often with him, though that cunt Izuna still has first place with pissing me off."

"Why is that?" she asks, curious and unassuming.

"With father?" I snort, shaking my head in disgust. "I met the piece of shit the day I unlocked my Sharingan. He only respects power. And he's utterly fucking clueless how to give a rat's ass about any of his daughters, least of all me. I'm nothing but a means to an end. A nest egg for when someone finally slits his throat is his sleep, so I can aid his heir."

"And your brother?"

"That thing is not my brother," I grind out, fuming at the notion of sharing DNA with that…

Sigh. Calm down, Ai. Just calm down. She doesn't know, she can't know. That's all there is to it.

"Fuck that piss stain," I mutter, shaking off the last of my anger.

"I'm sorry. This must all be too much for you," Suika says, looking away. She holds her hand to her heart, her fist clenched to show how my pain hurts her. "You know. I had a dream once, when I was just a little girl."

I blink, wondering why she's suddenly bringing this up, why she's suddenly blushing.

A scream. Fuck whatever Suika's on about.

I cast my senses around me, scanning for my babies. Raiza and Tanyu! There's someone with them!

8-8

I'm unsucked through the portal I made in my eye, popping into existence between the unknown and my babies. Rai and Yu's relief wash over me from behind, no doubt glad I'm here to keep them safe.

Before me stands a man in his late teens, with long silver hair kept in a low ponytail. He rights is big circular glasses, studying me for a moment. "Uchiha Ai, I presume. Youngest daughter to the clan head, Tajima."

"You have one chance to keep your head. Use it wisely," I drone, my Mangekyou boring into him. "State your name, and your purpose for being on these lands."

"I am Kabuto, My Lady. And I've come looking for you, of course."

I nod, unsheathing my twin blades. He holds his hands up, palms facing me to show he's unarmed. I smirk, clicking one of my blades into snake form and letting the entire blade disappear from my touch to a portal I open just over his left shoulder. The blade wraps around him before he has a chance to react, the edges biting into his flesh.

"You've found me. Now what?" I tilt my head to one side, wondering if I should just kill him and be done with it. Tobi and Suika body flicker behind me—Madara, Hashi, and the twins are staying behind a tree to offer backup if it becomes needed. My other babies, however…they are agitated, their signatures rushing our way. "Tobi."

My love disappears, instantly at our other three babies' sides. Their agitation turns to concern, then quickly to relief.

"I assure you, My Lady, my only purpose is to converse."

"I'm listening." I pull the cord tighter, letting the pieces slice into his skin.

"My Lord Hagoromo, head of the Hagoromo clan, wishes to meet with…" he trails off as his arms drop to the ground, detached from his shoulders. Funny how the wrong words can hurt you. He disappears in a poof—Shadow Clone, huh.

"Tobi?" I ask the second he comes back. I check my babies, finding they're in good health and not a scratch is on them.

"He's in hearing distance," comes the most entertaining news I've heard all day.

I sharpen my senses, focusing on the flow of air through the trees and the rushing of liquids. There's a person nearby—their chakra is undetectable, but they still need to breathe and their heart still needs to pump.

Reeling my blade back in through the portal, I make another one, at this one's ankles. He's once again in my snake's writhing embrace, the blades already slicing deep into him to ensure this is the original.

"You listen to me," Madara's voice carries, even through the trees. There's the distinctive sound of bones snapping, but no scream comes. "I will never agree to my little sister meeting with anyone allied with your clan." Another sound comes—a muted splashing squishy sound—and this Kabuto's pain tears through the area, soundless though he tries to make it. "Ai. Release him."

I shrug, seeing nothing wrong with letting him have his way—this time. A little tug, closing the portal, and sheathing my blade later, and I'm back to being on standby. My girls come crashing into me, tears pouring down their cheeks—fuck that ass twat, my babies need me.

Taking them into my arms, I kiss them over and over again, making little soothing noises to help them calm down. "There, there. Mama's not going to let anyone hurt you, okay? Ever. Never ever. It's okay, baby, mama's here."

8-8

The sun is almost set, the sky set aflame just for the occasion. There's another flame, a very different one before me. A camp fire. A proper one. Not the sneaky, stealthy ones I was taught to make. This is a fire that tells the world: we are here, and we aren't afraid of you.

It's metres tall, and metres in diameter, and it's so bright. So warm. So cosy. We huddle around it, telling stories by fire's light. There are spikes of deer and rabbit and, I think that's wild boar. More importantly, there are rice balls and tofu rolls and carrot stew and enough salad to set my mind at ease.

Suika passes around skins with water, enough so everyone has their own. Hashi, meanwhile, is telling Mito the story about his last mission, the one where he, Tobi, and I had to infiltrate the Shimura compound. I find it a boring tale—I wasn't allowed to kill anyone—but Mito seems spellbound. I think she just likes to hear him talking.

Miho on the other hand is pretty focused on giving Madara an earful—I'm not sure what he did but she looks pissed, and he's so busy trying to calm her down that he doesn't even realise that her eyes are smiling. She's too amused to be upset with him, so why doesn't he realise that? Whatever.

Tanyu is still a bit shaken up, so she's curled up in my lap. I take my time feeding the both of us, and Rai keeps bringing us and Tobi another helping. She's too wired to sit still—I'd better make sure she and Tanyu sleep in my futon tonight, they're probably going to be having nightmares for the foreseeable future. Luckily, Touka is staying close to Rai, and sying anything she can to tease a smile out of her sister.

Itama and Kawarama, however, are PISSED. Not a little, not sort of, not pretending to be. They refuse to eat, one standing guard behind me, the other staying close to their other sisters. They're probably beating themselves up that they didn't keep a closer eye on them. That is, until Suika offers them their water skin. She smiles that little smile of hers, and their defences simply melt. Raiza decides they look hungry and fixes them a plate—they're sitting beside Tobi and me not a moment later, though still glaring at every shadow that moves.

"It's alright, baby," I murmur once again, trying to coax Yu to have a little more stew. "Come on, you know you love it." She takes another little nibble, mostly to make me happy. I kiss her brow, murmuring how happy I am now that she's eating better—though, really, there's no difference between now and five minutes ago.

"You know, daughter," Suika begins, sitting down on the other side of the fire from Tobi and I. "I'm most interested in hearing the rest of that tale. About the princess from the kingdom under the leaf?"

Sigh. I really don't feel like opening that can of worms, but at least the next part is something the kids would enjoy hearing. "Alright. When we last left off, the princess had passed out after healing an old man during the invasion." Everyone settles down, Hashi, Madara, and the Uzumaki twins especially. They no doubt remember that day, and how pissed mama was with me—I don't think I've ever heard her cursing quite that much before.

"Everyone in the kingdom under the leaf pitched in to help rebuild. Everyone but the princess, of course. She was too busy going to school, learning the ways of the shinobi, though she hated it. She always thought of herself as more of a medic than anything, but the woman that foun…" I trail off, wondering at the odd look in Suika's eyes.

"Why not give them names? It makes it so much easier to follow," Suika suggests.

Sigh. "Fine. Princess Corpse wanted to be a medic, just like Lady Slug, the woman that claimed her as her own. Lady Slug, however, was determined to teach Princess Corpse to be a true kunoichi. And she had other little devious plans up her sleeve. You see, Lady Slug was the prime minister of the kingdom under the leaf. And she was determined to help Princess Corpse find someone worthy of her heart. So, when the Kingdom among the Clouds contacted Lady Slug, she arranged for a boy of their kingdom to come to the Leaf."

The kids are spellbound, listening to my tale. Even Yu is calming down as she listens.

"So, one day, a nervous little prince shows up in Princess Corpse's class. He kept fidgeting and felt out of place, as if he didn't belong there." I look to Tobi, giving him a teasing smile. "Princess Corpse thought he was the cutest boy in the whole kingdom, but she wasn't used to dealing with boys. So, she did what she always did with boys. She asked him to train with her and her team."

"Who was her team?" Yu asks, suspicion in her eyes as she regards me.

"She had two boys on her team. An armadillo and a crane." Yu's eyes widen in recognition. "Now please listen." Yu nods, laying her head on my shoulder to get comfortable.

"So Prince Fidgety," Tobi subtly elbows me for the stupid name, "joined Princess Corpse and her team for the day. They trained long and hard, and Princess corpse found herself enjoying her time with him. But like all things, the day came to an end.

"So Princess Corpse goes out with a few of her friends, to their family's store, a shinobi outfitter. The grandfather happened to be the old man she saved, and to thank her he made a dozen practice weapons and asked his granddaughter to train Princess Corpse. But our princess, she wasn't used to people thanking her, not like that. She was grateful for the weapons and the free classes, but she was also overwhelmed.

"Little did she know, once she left the store, she ran into Prince Fidgety. Not that she even remembered it, but she was used to forgetting things. Over the coming days, she had a lot of pretty messed up things happen. She had a meeting with the old ambassador, Lord Monkey, she had met with a friend, Mister Fox, and she just felt so lost.

"She was walking through the kingdom, on her way to Lady Slug, when Prince Fidgety found her. He seemed to notice how lost Princess Corpse felt, so he invited her to get a bite to eat. I'm hungry, he said, I can feed you too."

I laugh, remember how confident he seemed, even with the world's worst pick-up line.

"Princess Corpse wasn't impressed. She shook her head, thinking how the prince was so clueless. But, she was hungry. And he seemed nice enough. So she agreed anyway."

"Before or after her tummy grumbled?" Tobi asks, getting swatted to shut him up.

"Anyway. So he took her to a ramen stand. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was delicious and he was so charming. He kept telling her crazy little stories to get her to laugh, and when Mister Fox happened along, Prince Fidgety included him in the fun without a fuss. He was still a bit of a nerd, and she thought he was still pretty weird, but she couldn't deny he was such a charmer. So she decided it wouldn't be such a bad thing to spend some more time with him.

"It didn't seem like much at the time," I murmur, thinking back. "But that was the beginning of something beautiful. Over the coming years, Princess Corpse spent a lot of time with Prince Fidgety. He was growing into quite the gentlemen, but she was so super careful with him."

"How come?" Yu asks.

"Well, like any princess, Princess Corpse had a lot of suitors. She hated them all, and they made her so careful, even with Prince Fidgety. Despite that, she really enjoyed being with him."

"What about Princess Sourpuss?" Tobi asks, nudging me with his elbow. I roll my eyes, knowing he's just looking for an ego boost.

"Princess Sourpuss?" Rai asks, raising an eyebrow.

"That's a lot later, but yes. Princess Corpse went out on a mission to rescue another princess. Princess Sourpuss. Princess Corpse rescued her from a civil war that was brewing in Princess Sourpuss's home country, and brought her back to the kingdom under the leaf."

I continue telling the tale, about how Tobi pointed out the differences between us, about how I wanted to go see that new movie—though I call it a 'play' in a 'theatre'. "Prince Fidgety said something in that theatre. Something that Princess Corpse had only heard from Lady Slug and Miss Sunshine before. He said those three words that changed them both forever.

"I love you, he told her, sitting between all their friends. In that moment, he stopped being Prince Fidgety, at least to her. He'd become Prince Charming, and she finally admitted that she felt the same."

"Aww," the kids gush—even Itama and Kawarama, though they mostly grin.

"So why do you call her Princess Corpse?" Suika asks, seemingly unassuming.

"A tale for another day."

"And Lady Slug?" Suika presses.

I look around, studying the faces of my audience—my babies' especially. They wear their broken hearts on their sleeves, but it's most striking how they worry for my heart more than their own. Sigh. I had hoped to buoy their spirits with the tale. "Everyone in the tale dies in the end. Is that not how life works?"

Suika nods, her gaze zoned in on me—it's kind of eerie, really. "May I ask how they die?"

"What does it matter. All tales have an ending. Sometimes it's a happy ending. Most often, it isn't."

"Princess Corpse, then. You imply hers is a tragic tale. What is her ending?"

I stare into the fire, hyper aware of the worry slamming into me from all sides. "She kills herself." The words come out cold, freezing Suika, who obviously wasn't expecting that.

"Why?" I peer up at the fearful eyes gazing at me. "Why would she do something like that?"

Tsunade. Jei. Raiza. Tanyu. Nisshou. Kawarama. Itama. Naruto. Hinata. Sakura and Mikoto. Our guards and their families. My Hatsuhana. My Usagi. Given to me out of the blue and stolen just the same, just like the twins that would never be born. "Life broke her. Over. And over. And over again." I loved too deeply, too completely, and I lost it all…lost them all. I refused to live on with the weight of every corpse I'd ever loved on my heart.

"I…I don't…don't understand," Suika says, shaking her head as if running from something horrifying.

"What's there to understand?" I ask, standing. Unsurprisingly, my babies make to stand as well. I raise a hand, wordlessly telling them to stop. I need to be alone right now. "The deeper you love, the dee—"

"That's enough," Tobi cuts me off. I shrug, walking off into the growing darkness. "Let her go, Tanyu."

"No can do, daddy," Rai says, all three of my daughters' signatures following me.

8-8

"Go away," I growl, keeping my voice down as best I can. I didn't fight my babies when they followed me, I didn't turn them away, knowing that I would only hurt them more if I did. Suika isn't my child. So I just want to lay here, in pool I dug and filled with steaming hot water.

Laying here, on my back, gazing up at the stars now out in full force. Water kissing every bit of me. It…it hurts less. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that it's easier to feel nothing.

"Mom, please," Touka begs, standing between the intruder and me. She holds her hands out to act as a barrier, and the determination in her chakra tells me she'd never stand down. "I know you want to help, but there's nothing you can do."

"I won't know if I don't try," Suika says, tears streaming down her cheeks. She keeps coming all the same, her red eyes focused on me. "Please, sweetie, she needs someone to help her. Her past weighs on her more than even you could know."

"Mom. I love you with all my heart. But you couldn't be more wrong."

"Ai, sweetie. I need to know. What happened to you? What could drive you to killing yourself?" I don't look, I don't move. I just don't care. Whatever she thinks she understands, she never truly could. "Senju Ai! Don't you go ignoring me, young lady! When I ask you something, I expect you to answer me!"

I blink. That almost…? No. It can't be. If she were my mama, she'd never wait four years to make a move. Stop getting your hopes up, you basket case. The only mother you have left is Hirako—and she loves you to pieces. It isn't perfect, but it's better than… "Have you ever had a dream? One you felt was so real you could get lost in it?"

"It was Jei."

…

"Your prince charming, Kaminari Jei. From Cloud."

"What has Tobi been telling you?" I ask, my tone so neutral she'd never know what's on my mind.

"You hate thunder storms." Tears fall. No one knows that. "Not because they scare you, but because all you want to do is cuddle up in your mother's bed. And your pride refuses to let you tell her that."

It's because she's a sensor. She just wants to get passed my defences. That's all. Nothing more.

"So you know."

"You forget your birthday every year. Not because it isn't important to you, but because you keep yourself too busy to care about the date. You love hanging out with your friends, but few ever make the cut. Like Hanabi did, once. Like Sakura did. Like Hinata did."

"Party tricks aren't my thing," I drone, letting the water roil up and set me down onto my feet on the pool's edge. "You have a point. Get to it."

"Hirako. She's Jiraiya, or was, once. Tobi's your Jei. Hashi is Naruto. Madara is Sasuke, though that does little to explain his protectiveness of you. And Izuna…I'd bet the Senju fortunes that he's the one who did it. The one that cut you so deep."

I cock an eyebrow.

"What happened, Ai? The day you died. What drove you over the edge?"

I cross my arms, tapping my finger against my bicep.

"I know you're scared," she murmurs, walking towards me. "I know losing me that day cut you deeper than everything else." When I get my hands on you, Tobi, I'm going to break both your fucking legs! Putting your mother up to this shit?!

"So. Your claim is that you were Senju Tsunade in your last life?"

"We almost never bathed together." Colour drains from my face. "I would bathe with Shizune before waking you up, so we could have some private time. You knew, of course, but you never brought it up."

…

"You hate makeup, no matter how good you think you look. And even though you're quite the lady, you are just as comfortable training in the mud and breaking people's arms. The only time you truly dress up is when Jei would pick you up for your 'non-dates'." She does the air-quotes, letting me know that she doesn't buy it, even now.

Tears well up, falling all too soon.

"You are always the one to offer comfort, even when you're hurting so bad you can't see straight. Not because you don't want to be comforted, but because you will only ever let a handful of people that close. And I know for a fact I am at the top of that list."

"M…" I try to say it, to call for her. But my throat is swollen shut from the conflicting emotions blazing in me.

"It's alright," she says, her hands held wide for me. "I'm here, sweetie."

–Ai , what the hell is up with you? You're making a thunderstorm up here!–

I take a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. "Whatever." –I'm fine, Rika.–

–Bullshit. Talk to me or I'm coming to you.–

"Ai?" Tobi comes out of the shadows, his eyes shining with concern.

"Look. Everyone back the fuck up," I grind out through gritted teeth, even as I back up, hitting a tree behind me. A tree I know for a fact wasn't there a moment ago. I'm not in anyways surprised when the branches wrap around me and hold me captive.

I reinforce my arms and chest, ripping the branches off me with a single motion, only to double over and puke up my dinner. The bile and chewed bits swim over my hands and the tip of my braid that thought it was cute to take a dip.

"Shhh shh shh shhh shh shhh." The soft, soothing sound seeps into me, soon followed by the steady beating of a heart. The scent of spring flowers filled my lungs, tinged with light perspiration. "It's alright, baby. Mama's here. Mama's right here."

8-8

End Chapter 18

8-8

A/N: 26/03/2020 update