A/N: My imagination thrives on non-canon and what could have been. So what.
They don't notice me very often. But that doesn't mean I don't notice them. Why? My kikaichu know everything. They see everything. And because they do, I do, too.
And I know there is a lot of hidden sadness and secrets in Konoha, and I wonder why it isn't called village Hidden in Sadness instead.
I see the way Ino's fingertips linger on Shikadai's head, the way they smooth his hair and brush through the top of his small, pineapple ponytail, just like his father has. I see the pain and surprise pass quickly in her blue eyes when she hears him say, "Troublesome," before she hugs him to her chest a little tighter and scolds him like she had scolded Shikamaru.
I see the way Sai notices that Ino's eyes follow the hokage's advisor. How he keeps quiet because there's nothing he can do, since they had known each other since before she knew he even existed. He knows that Ino loves him in her own way, and loves Inojin even more, but he knows there are some things that his wife, who is the leader of the clan with the greatest mind techniques, will never let him know. I see the way he looks up over the top of his ink drawings, over the top of the books that help nothing, and I see the furrowing of his brows when he looks at her because he knows there's a wall where she had blocked him from her mind. I see how he looks at the calendar when her birthday approaches and how that expressionless mask slips a little because it's the head of the Nara clan's birthday, too, and another reminder how they were probably meant for each other.
I see the way Shikamaru has to blink twice when his wife from the sand shows up, as if her dark blonde hair and pale teal eyes were platinum and blue in his vision. I see the way he has to check again to see if his son's teal eyes aren't light blue like the woman he used to love. I see those double takes and the guilt that follows after because he knows he shouldn't be imagining even subconsciously what it would have been like if Shikadai were Ino's son, too.
I hear how much louder Naruto's laughter becomes when he's around Sakura. When he notices that she's feeling a little lonely because her husband is not around. I see how he tries to cheer her up with those silly antics he had used so many years ago, tries to make her laugh, too. I see how he winces when all she talks about is Sasuke even though Sasuke's gone and he's here with her, right now. I see how restless he is when he's at home with his wife and his kids because he's itching to be out, itching to see what life could have been if it wasn't like what it was right now, if he hadn't been hokage. If he had gone with Sasuke, or if he had told Sakura he had loved her, and that's probably why he spends more time with Sarada than he does Boruto.
I see that hawk circling the sky and I know that Sasuke is talking to Naruto. I see it land near the Hokage's office and I see Naruto's bandaged hand stick out, inviting the hawk to land. I see this exchange and I know Naruto will be gone again for some time. I know that Sasuke is somewhere close by. I feel the extra electricity running through the ground from his chakra, yet I know he won't step foot in the village that had wiped his family away from the earth. I know that the only thing calling him back to this village is Naruto, even if he has a wife and daughter. I see the way he lingers on the outskirts of the village, hiding himself away from any other shinobi's notice as he acknowledges my kikaichu and avoids stepping on one, waiting for Naruto. I see him there and I know he will not likely return anytime soon - that he doesn't want to return anytime soon - and yet he welcomes Naruto and his son into his presence time and time again.
I see the way Sakura curls around herself when she sees Ino with Inojin and Sai or Hinata with Boruto and Naruto. I see the way she holds Sarada closer and her green eyes turn towards the entrance of Konoha as if a certain someone will walk through its gates at any moment. And when it's been a while and he doesn't show up, she sags a little like she has done so many times before. I see her lips moving as she curses herself for putting herself in this mess, pining after a man who had never loved her like she loved him. But when her daughter turns her eyes towards her, I see that fake smile Sai had accused her of wearing so many years ago. I see the way her daughter does not recognize it, and I see that Sakura feels like she is alone as she has ever been.
I see the twinge of sadness in Hinata's eyes because she knows that the bond that Sasuke and Sakura have with Naruto is something that she can never have. I see the darkness underneath them from nights she stays up late waiting for Naruto to come home because he is stuck in his office or off meeting with Sasuke outside the village or stopping by Sakura's house to make sure she is taken care of. I see that faraway look in the whites of her eyes as she gazes away from the conversation and I know she's convincing herself that it's okay.
"Shino-sensei," a little voice calls to me.
I turn to a short, choppy head of purple. My former teammate's daughter.
"Shino-sensei," Himawari continues, with a brilliant smile to match her brilliant blue eyes. "What do you see behind your sunglasses?"
And there's nothing else for me to say.
I say, "Everything," even though I wish I didn't.