*Obligatory 'I don't own Naruto so please don't sue me' header*

Of Crimson and Shadows

Chapter 2 - Anathema

NOTE FOR RETURNING READERS! I rewrote the first scene of Chapter 1. Please reread that before reading this chapter. If this is your first time through, disregard this - you've read the corrected version already. ;)

In the first dream, Naruto ran.

He ran and ran and ran, and yet the plain black walls of the world around him refused to budge, his feet drifting over the earth beneath him. His calves would strain, his legs would tense, and he would push himself harder – faster – until the body could no longer supply what the mind demanded.

He would sit, then, in quiet contemplation, eyes searching, scanning, begging for a sign on the horizon – something to focus on, to latch onto. A landmark, a recognizable object…

…anything.

After he strained for an eternity, his eyes stiff and exhausted, Naruto would begin again.

And again.

And again…

Naruto ambled down the village streets, hands stuffed in his pockets, his posture slouched and bored. He lumbered along, eying the shops and stalls that littered the tiny town that he and Jiraiya had arrived at not long before. The two parted ways at the gate: Jiraiya in one direction, Naruto in the other.

His hand clenched around the crumpled sheet of paper in his pocket, a pout stretched across his face.

He was alone.

Sure, he had received instructions from his… habitual sensei. But they were nothing more than a list of simple tips on how to complete the giant Rasengan, and an order to stay out of trouble - each delivered with a toothy grin.

He was alone now, and probably for the foreseeable future.

A bright-painted, cozy looking dango shop drifted past him as he walked, and Naruto paused to give it a cursory glance before continuing onwards, boredom unsatiated.

His mind was itching, begging for stimulation. The crowded streets of a small fishing village near the coast of the Land of Fire left a lot to be desired. Sure, he could train with what he was assigned… but he had a sneaking suspicion that his sensei had scheduled an exorbitant amount of time just for the one jutsu, in the anticipation of being away for quite a while.

'There are more bathhouses here than fishing huts,' Naruto groaned to himself, rolling his eyes. 'He's never gonna want to leave.'

And so he kept walking, pack strapped to his back, the sun high in the sky. A bell rang from across the street, and a swarm of small children surged into the village center, laughing and running and dodging the waves of civilians that kept moving along, not paying any mind to them.

Naruto smiled.

He slipped into a small tea shop on the edge of the market square, shoulders aching, and bought a small cup of some sort of strange, yet pleasant, smelling herbal concoction. After he took one sip, he blanched, paid, and left – the faster the better, seeing as the excited old woman that ran the place was returning from the back room with another cup.

He wandered some more, the village streets crowding and thinning and crowding by the hour. School returned from lunch break, fishermen came back from the pier, businessmen disembarked from the boats that moored to the docks across town, school let out for the day, villagers made their grocery rounds for their evening meals. The village was a clock, and Naruto was but a forgotten cog laid flat at the bottom of the frame.

After his third lap around the village, the sun dipping far past the horizon, the streets began to empty. His only company now was the dim, humming streetlamps that clicked on at the stroke of eight, dotting the village in halos of yellow light.

Naruto blinked when he realized the sun vanished, the cold embrace of night cocooning him as he walked.

One after the other, the shops closed up, their shutters latching shut, signs flickering dark.

Naruto blinked, noticing the cozy warmth of a small building nestled between a bakery and a tea shop spilling out into the night.

One shop remained open.

Naruto jerked upright.

His surroundings came into view like the lens of a camera focusing until all of the lines, all of the color before him sharpened. Reality rumbled back to life - the sounds of the birds in the spring air, the whisper of the winds through the leaves of the trees, the subtle crunch of gravel underneath his sandaled feet as he struggled on.

He was walking through the forest. Again.

Naruto found himself dazing off into the past far more often now, content in the fact that he had nowhere to go, nowhere to be. His body (what was left of it, at least) moved forward on its own, pace slow and methodical as he made his way across the northern stretches of the Land of Fire, and he was bothered less and less the further into the mountains he went.

It wasn't much to go off of, but it was something.

His left thigh, gashed open on the side from a battle he never intended to win, bled jet black as he meandered. The blood trailed down his leg to the ground, staining the earth as he moved, leaving a trail behind him that stretched for miles.

Naruto didn't pay it any attention.

Running from the past will get you nowhere. Is that all you are good for?

He grimaced. 'I'm not running,' he said within his mind.

Semantics are just as frivolous as empty as each of the labored steps you take.

Naruto paused for a moment and looked down at the tattered clothing that hung down his body like shredded rags, watching the way he moved.

'Do you have any better ideas, then?' he bit out, continuing. 'I don't see you suggesting where I should go or what I should do.'

Only you can make that choice, Nine-Tails.

Naruto froze, his body seizing up from the overexertion. 'I told you already to stop calling me that!'

Running from the truth is just as dangerous as running from the past.

Naruto grumbled to himself and sighed, setting off again. 'I am not the Kyuubi. I don't care what you say. I will never be that… thing.'

We are all 'things', in a manner of speaking.

'Yeah?' Naruto said. 'And what does that make you?'

I am reason. I am faith. I am the past, the present, and every future.

Naruto harrumphed. 'You sure know how to say a bunch of words that don't make any sense.'

The voice smiled inside his head. I am you.

Somehow, that didn't surprise Naruto as much as he was expecting.

You do not doubt me.

'Don't you mean "do not doubt myself"?' Naruto said in a mocking manner.

The voice was silent.

Naruto continued walking, opting not to antagonize it. The trees blurring together into one mass as time stretched forward, the world shifting out of focus once more. The day turned to night turned to day, and still Naruto walked - battered sandals dripping blood across the winding, narrow roads of northern Fire Country.

He found himself slowing… stopping, much to his own surprise. He turned, curiosity getting the better of him, and stared off towards the horizon, tracing the thin line of black that dotted the gravel pathway.

Do you remember how you earned that wound?

Naruto blinked, looking down at his gaping leg. '...Yeah.'

The world spun again, and he felt his mind dipping back into the past.

"Naruto? NARUTO?!"

He could hear the man coming from miles away – at least, so it seemed. Every sound, every feeling, every sensation; it was like a hammer on his senses, his body standing shock-still to try and cope. The air brushing past his skin felt like fire, the setting evening sun burning holes into his scorched eyes.

He felt it, and yet did not.

Nothing made sense anymore.

He tried to focus his eyes, instead watching from his peripheral vision when that didn't work.

Jiraiya.

The man came sprinting down the gravel path, eyes wide and terrified. His lumbering frame click-clacked with each frantic step, until he skid to a halt in front of the tree Naruto had found himself leaning against when he had woken up.

He'd tried to move long before then, but it was like someone cut the cord – his mind and body lay compartmentalized. He was vaguely aware of the world around him, but it was as if he was viewing it through a foggy window, the aperture cracked and ragged.

"Brat? Brat, are you in there?"

A pause. Jiraiya seemed to be expecting an answer, and Naruto yearned to give him one.

But his mouth didn't - couldn't move.

The hope in Jiraiya's eyes was extinguished like the dying embers of a bonfire.

"I thought I had lost you, Naruto," he said, his voice quiet and forlorn. "I'm sorry…" he froze up, let out a sharp breath, continued. "I'm sorry I left you alone. I won't do that again. I promise. Not until we get home, and you're…"

It was at that moment that Jiraiya seemed to realize he was speaking to himself, and he coughed once, shaking his head of whatever troubling thoughts resided underneath his white mop of a hairdo. He smiled.

"Come on, Naruto. Let's get you… get you home, okay? One last time."

Naruto frowned internally, confused. What did he mean, one last time?

A cold terror shot through him.

Was he dead?

The world spun.

He knew that his body was moving, careening in an unnatural manner, almost of its own volition - but it felt like a dream sequence; a forgotten memory. He watched his legs propel him forward, his arms lurching out, striking.

He saw the look of shock on his sensei's face as a fire-red fist burst through Jiraiya's chest.

And then, Jiraiya vanished – replaced by a smoldering log.

Naruto swiveled on his feet, dodging the kick aimed for his lungs.

"Nice one, brat, but you're going to have to be quicker than that next time!" He felt the fist connect with his shoulder blade before he saw it, and Naruto went careening into a tree a moment later, the wind in his sails deflated.

He coughed and stood up again, smirking. "Yeah? Let's see how you handle this!"

Half a dozen clones came to life with one vibrant puff of chakra, and each one fanned out across the clearing in a zigzag pattern. Two more clones appeared in front of him, guarding him, and one stepped in front of the other.

Jiraiya smirked, and the next moment all but the clones closest to Naruto exploded as a series of shuriken pierced their fragile skin.

Naruto just stuck his hand out to his side, a confident smile gracing his lips.

A Rasengan formed in his hand the next instant, the clone he used to summon it bursting into a plume of smug satisfaction. Naruto charged forward, roaring, aiming for Jiraiya's bemused face—

BAM!

The clearing erupted into a smattering of logs and trees and debris, and Naruto's limp body smashed over a smattering of rocks like a ragdoll. The dust cleared, and Naruto watched as Jiraiya's bloodied face stumbled into his field of view again.

"What… what the hell are you?" Jiraiya said, as if the words were glass. He held himself across the stomach, his face set in cold rage. "What did you do to Naruto?"

"I'm here!" Naruto wanted to yell, to scream.

"You dare desecrate the dead?" Jiraiya yelled, the sound echoing off the trees.

Naruto felt his heart (but was it really?) lurch in his chest (but was it really?). Time slid into a staccato rhythm.

His body leapt forward again. Jiraiya moved just as fast. The ground beneath their feet plumed into the air with each violent footstep forward, setting sun casting shadows of dust and debris across the valley of trees.

Naruto blinked. The world blurred.

"Try this on for size!" Naruto yelled with a triumphant roar, the clone to his side taking its leave. The Rasengan in his hand, warm and pleasant like a midsummer's sun, fluxed in anticipation.

Jiraiya watched and waited, a cocky smile egging him on.

With a splitting grin, Naruto pumped energy into his palm, growing the sphere more and more and more and-

Blink.

A ruby-red Rasengan, dark and heavy and cold, sat between his outstretched fingers.

Jiraiya was beneath him, battered and shaken, skin singed, eyes wide, breaths heaving in and out of his chest in frantic pants.

Blink.

"Hey, kiddo, c'mere for a second."

Naruto frowned, throwing his arms behind his head and strolling across the lakeside with a huff. "Lemme guess... need more 'inspiration'," Naruto gesticulated with his fingers, "for your 'research'?"

"Pshh," Jiraiya snorted, waving him off. "Just come here. Or do you want me to toss this popsicle in the lake?"

Naruto jolted, watching as the man procured a pair of red treats from behind his back. "Wait, what? When did you go to the village to buy those?"

"Haven't you ever heard of Shadow Clones?" Jiraiya said.

Naruto watched as a trail of red - juice from the popsicle, no doubt - dripped down, down, down past Jiraiya's fingertips...

Drip.

Naruto stared at the blot of blood that trailed down his own skin, falling onto Jiraiya's stunned face with a sound that could shatter steel.

"What are you," Jiraiya whispered.

You are his maker. His arbiter. His passer of judgment.

The sky turned black, the world twisting into a bizarre negative of its former self.

He felt it.

The pain, the fear... the anger.

So much anger. Blood boiling, heart stopping, earth-shattering anger - and it was directed at him.

All of it.

Naruto blinked, eyes wide, as he turned back down to face the man he had defeated in battle through some miracle of hallucination.

Jiraiya.

Yes, you feel it now.

Before, it was a trickle - an itch that refused to be scratched. Now, it felt like the torrent of a waterfall, slamming across him, around him, into him.

It twisted through his veins, blurring his vision, distorting reality even further.

You were never his focus. Never his light, never his muse.

No.

Always a backdrop to his story, never the main character.

No.

You know it now - can feel it now.

He felt his body shake, shivering teeth marred in indecision. The Rasengan twitched and hissed, growing darker and darker, whirling like a far-stretching hurricane.

Even before. You always knew before.

'Shut up,' Naruto hissed inside of his mind.

The doubt, the worry - all true. All vetted by your subconscious. All foreseen.

'SHUT UP!'

Naruto roared, and the world went white.

Author's Note(s): Wow! Yeah, so this took me a lot longer than I anticipated. It's important to note that this chapter did NOT, in fact, take me 4 months to write - rather, it just took me about 3 months and 3 weeks to get the inspiration needed to finish it. That'll tend to happen, considering this story is secondary to Blonding at the moment. But as that one draws to a close, this one will be moved up to priority number 1 - and I should be able to finish it in a relatively reasonable timeframe!

But until such time, I can only apologize, and ask that you bear with me!

REGARDLESS, we're on to chapter 2! I think it's important to stress now that this fic relies heavily on flashbacks and jumping around the timeline a lot - which is intentional. Unfortunately, due to the serialized nature of fanfiction, you early birds (read: the readers that see this as I write it, not in its completed form) are gonna have to suffer just a bit more than otherwise. This story was planned and written with it being completed in mind, so please consider that when you say that this is confusing. Because it's going to be at first glance.

So again... just bare with me. I know this is unorthodox for a fanfiction, but this is an unorthodox story. And I hope it turns out half as good as I've planned it to be.

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you soon - hopefully much sooner than four months this time!
-Endo

Uploaded on: 18 Sept 2016
Official beta for this chapter: Infamous Storm
Final word count: 2,798 words