LAMAR AS GOKU:

Fits, cause Lamar isn't the brightest light in the sky..

SCENE 1:

Unnamed man: It took me a while to get here, but I finally found you Lamar.

Lamer: ... What?

Unamed Man: And I'm here to kill you.

Lamar: ... What?

Unamed Man: For what you did to me.

Lamar: ... What?

Unamed man: Yooouuu... Hit your head as a child, didn't you?

(flashback of Lamer banging his head as a baby)

Lamar: ... What?

SCENE 2:

Lamar: (getting beat up) Oooh! Ow! Spine! (stomped on) Ow! Ribs! Definitely ribs! I think you broke my... Mmmmmm ribs.

SCENE 3:

Lamar: (holding D in full nelson) I got him! Ready Stretch!

Stretch: (holding sniper) Ready!

Lamar: Good! Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! I'm right behind him!

Stretch: Oh sure; I'll give you a signal. It'll be the last signal you'll ever get!

(scene shifts to Lamar as Stretch laughs evilly offscreen)

Lamar: (not catching on to Stretch's evil intention) Well, okay. As long as we're clear on that.

SCENE 4:

Lamar: (in his thoughts) This is going to be the longest, toughest journey I've ever made! But I have to keep running! For the sake of the Earth, humanity, and my fam—

(Camera cuts to a sleeping Lamar)

SCENE 5:

Carly: How you feeling Lamar?

Lamar: (laying in a hospital bed) Well, the doctor say I should be in here for a couple of months, what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs, and the brain damage. And the brain damage. And the brain damage... Oh, hey Carly. When did you get here?

SCENE 6:

Lamar: (walking around in a ship) This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?

Ship owner: There is no button like that. I never even considered that.

Lamar: Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake up in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great... Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge

Ship owner: Dammit, there is no muffin button!

Lamar: Darn. So, is it ready to take off then, Dr. Briefs?

Dr Briefs: Goodness no! I still have to install the cappuccino machine!

Lamar: But... But I don't even drink coffee!

Dr Briefs: It's not coffee, Lamar, it's cappuccino. Now stay here; I need to grab the parts from my shop. Make sure not to touch anything, like the gravity controls. (points firmly at start button) Or the Start button... The Start button... Don't touch (Lamar has a blank face as the man is saying this)... the Start button... Now I'll be right back. (leaves the ship)

Lamar: Okey Dokey... (once the man leaves) I wonder if THIS is is the muffin button. (pushes the Start button, causing the ship to takeoff into space).

SCENE 7:

Dr Briefs: Mr Davis, You've blasted off into space! You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates fo... (notices Lamar holding a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?

Lamar: Muffin button.

DR. BRIEFS: But... I... never installed a muffin button...

Lamar: ... Then where did I get this muffin?

DR. BRIEFS: Listen very close, Lamar. Whatever you do, don't fool with the gravity controls. It goes up to one hundred times Earth's normal gravity.

Lamar: So what you're saying is... if I turn up the gravity, then I can get stronger!

DR. BRIEFS: No! What I'm saying is it will crush your bones! The detrimental effects could be catastrophic! You may never walk again!

Lamar: Bored now. Gotta train. Bye-bye!

DR. BRIEFS: Lamar wai-!

(Lamar pushes a button to turn off the TV)

Lamar: ... I like his mustache.

SCENE 8:

Lamar: Are you okay in there?

Trevor: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm fan-fucking-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.

Lamar: (delighted) Oh, really? Can I come in too?

Trevor: (after a short pause) ...I'm surrounded by idiots.

Lamar: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream?

Trevor: (screams with rage as he destroys everything around) I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! I WILL NOT BE HUMILATED BY A LOW CLASS RENCH!

Lamar: Aww, looks like someone has a ice cream head ache.

Trevor: THAT'S IT, EVERYONE DIES!

SCENE 9:

Ivory: Alright, you bastard. Prepare to feel the wrath o- (Lamar punches Ivory in the face) Argh! Gah! You goddamn wanker! You punched me in the- (Lamar punches Ivoor again) Argh! Gah! Ya did it again! (Lamar punches Ivory again) Daah! Stop it! Stop it! (Lamar punches Ivory again) Ah! Piss! (thinking) Oh, what did the cap'n tell us to do in this situation?

(shows a flashback with the unnamed Captain's face)

CAPTAIN: Ivory, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to-

(Lamar punches Ivory again, ending the flashback)

Ivory: Gahhh! Ow! He cut off the cap'n!

Lamar: So, aren't you gonna dodge any of these?

Ivory: Oh, that's what the cap'n- (Lamar punches Ivory again) Ahh! God, I think he broke something that time!

SCENE 10:

Carly: Lamar, how did you get so strong!?

Lamar: Well, I did train at 100x normal gravity.

Johnny: (jealous) FUU********** (continues to leave a long bleep sound in the background)

Carly: Wow, no wonder you killed them so easily.

SCENE 11:

Franklin: Isn't that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty?

Lamar: Nope. That's rabies.

Franklin: Actually Lamar, you contract rabies when you're bitten by an animal with the disease.

Lamar: Silly Franklin. Animals don't eat people. People eat animals. Silly Franklin.

Franklin: ... I can't believe I'm stuck with you.

SCENE 12:

Ivory: Unfortunately, Carly and I were having a disagreement. She wanted herself to live, and, well... I didn't.

Lamar: Why do you want to die?

Ivory: What-? No, I... I-I mea- I meant I want her to die.

SCENE 13:

Carly: N-No. That was a rhetorical question.

Lamar: And I gave you a rhetorical answer.

SCENE 14:

Ivory: Want to play a game?

Lamar: ... Yes

Ivory: It's called.. Die.

Lamar: Oh wow, sounds fun.

Ivory: Yes, I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.

Lamar: (horrified) What? Why would you drown puppies?

Ivory: Because they're cute and cuddly.

Lamar: Are... You coming on to me?

Ivory: ... Are you real!? Is this really happening!?

Lamar: Yes. I'm real.

Ivory: Grr! (starts to drown Lamar)

Ivory: So how did you like that game, monkey?

Lamar: (comes out, unharmed somehow) Meh, it was alright.

Ivory: Wha...? You...?

Lamar: It's not Donkey Kong, though. That has a pie level.

Ivory: (gives off a wide-eyed stare and then leans forward, making a creaking sound)