cough… Surprise! Still alive! Enjoy the shocking unexpected update!

You never know what life could throw at you. For people like Leon Kennedy and Claire Redfield, this is the understatement of the freaking century. Both had to endure the hell that was Raccoon City while, later, going through their own adventurous nightmares. But...somehow these two grew accustomed to taking these situations in stride, almost as if as soon as the mission's accomplished, the angst doesn't even follow them home. If anything, each of their many encounters with bioweapons has turned into a weird competition between the two, and on this night, they seem to be having another round as they lay sprawled on the couch, legs intertwined.

"It's not even a debate, babe. All of my monsters were way bigger, meaner, and honestly cooler than yours," said the agent as he patted the top of Claire's head with each descriptive word. "I mean come on, freakin' El Gigante! I had to deal with a damn giant who came this close to flattening me!"

Claire seemed to ponder for a moment and decided not to outright dispute Leon's claims. "Hmm, you have a point there, rookie. You definitely had the bigger baddies. But MY situations involved me being WAY too intimate with the enemy. I had to figh-...dodge...a tyrant in the cargo hold of a plane and weaken the bastard enough to send him flyin outta the OPEN airlock. At least most of whatever you fought gave you breathing room, even if they were huge."

At this, Leon smirked, looked her right in the eye, and used what he believed was his ultimate encounter with the enemy yet, when it came to claustrophobic situations.

"You wanna talk about having little breathing room? Try this on for size: TWO Los Gigantes in a Boiler Room with lava beneath the floor."

Claire didn't know whether she wanted to blink profusely or just stare with sheer disbelief, but she made sure to use her words to convey how she felt about that. "Okay, seriously, I'm starting to think you deal with these giant freaks on purpose. You into macrophilia, Kennedy?"

With that, the couple heartily laughed, and Leon shrugged in response. "What can I say? The bigger they come, the better I look beating them."

In a random show of affection, the redhead gave him a chaste kiss to drive her final point home. "Well, it's a good thing I'm the one foe who can make the great Leon Kennedy weak in the knees, with little effort."

"...you know what...I'm gonna let you have that one, Sweetheart. For now, anyway." He leaned in closer to whisper in her ear. "I'll be sure to respond in kind, once we're in bed."

Suddenly, Claire shoots up from the couch and does the most long-drawn-out yawn possible, stretching her arms over her head for dramatic effect. "OhmanImtiredletsgotobed!" Leon was promptly yanked off the couch.

...FIN!