The Chinese Box
By The Seitz
I'm sane now, it's different. Not bad different, just, different. A long time ago I was the Riddler, the master of the conundrum, the all powerful creator of the most elaborate jigsaw puzzled questions in the world. A long time ago I was Edward Nigma.
Not anymore.
I'm Eddie Nashton again. I'm me, with all the problems ironed out. It's nice. Dr. Arkham gave me a certificate and everything. It says I'm don't need to know the answers to life's questions. It says I'm not screaming for people to notice me anymore. It says I'm a fitting member of society.
And I am. I'm my own man, I'm proof that Arkham Asylum isn't just a place where murderous screwballs go to plan their next scheme. Man were the good doctors over there proud of that. Little ol' me was their first patient in a long time to be declared sane. I bet it gave them a big warm fuzzy. I know it restored some of these doctors faith in them selves. I even over heard the doctor assigned to Joker telling some of his colleges that he was going to try extra hard to restore his patient back to health now that it's been proven that it could be done.
Poor sap's got his work cut out for him.
But anyway, I'm better, I'm happy, I've even been granted a full pardon for my last little robbery, so I'm sane and free. And I'm loving it. I'm even giving back to society.
You heard it here people. The Riddler is now a Big Brother.
I joined as soon as they would accept my application. They even took the time and assigned me to be the Big Brother of a little kid named Dwayne. Smart kid, only 11 years old but he's got a brain in him. I can tell. He loves Houdini almost as much as I do. And some of the things this kid thinks of. I can't believe he's only eleven. I tell ya, he's like the son I never had. Or ever will, wait, I'm still young, I shouldn't think like that. I'm sure I can find some one, hell, I know Dwayne's mom is single.
Jean, that's her name, she wasn't entirely thrilled that I was going to be working with her son. But she's lightened up. Not bad looking either, kind of reminds me of Echo with longer hair. She's lightened up a bit, like I said. And maybe if I work at it I can woo her. This love thing can't be that hard, no, not hard at all.
There's no mystery in love.
There's no big question.
There's no riddle.
That's what I have too keep telling myself everyday. I have to remind myself these things so I don't wind up back in the big house.
Life is not a series of questions.
Life is not full of hidden answers.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around. . . Who cares?
What's the sound of one hand clapping? Kind of a weak, airy, slapping noise. I know, I checked.
What came first the chicken or the egg? Doesn't matter. You can eat them both.
Yup. That's the way the new me thinks. No more questions. Now more mad grabs for attention. No more stupid riddles that get me busted.
No more Batman. Oh sure, he stopped by a few times after I got out. The big dark and scary knight, he stopped by and warned me that he was keeping and eye on me. And when I started with Dwayne, he showed up. Made a big scene and warned me not to screw the kid up.
Why would a man dress up like a bat? Cause he's as crazy as I was.
Now it's getting close to Christmas and here I am. I'm sane, I'm buying presents, well only two really. I've already bought Jean a little silver picture frame. She takes a lot of pictures of Dwayne. It's her way of dealing with his dad's death, capturing moments with her son. It beautiful when you think about it. But at the same time it's sad. It reminds me of a time when I would have looked for a question in the situation.
The letters "H" and "E" starts and ends 2 common English words. One painful in love, One painful in everyday matters. Do you know what 2 words they must be? Heartache and Headache.
I wasn't sure what I was supposed to get Dwayne. I thought and thought and agonized over what I could get him to show how much I care. Then I realized what I was doing and I bought him some Yu-gi-oh cards. He said he wanted them. He's a smart kid and that game seems to encourage thinking, strategy.
How do you make the perfect Christmas? You can't it makes itself.
And I know he's gonna love the cards. How do I know? Simple, instead of wrapping them I placed the cards in a special made Chinese box. If Dwayne sits back and thinks real hard about it he'll figure out that there are a series of 14 hidden switches on the box the needs to flip in exact order to open it and get his cards. I have faith in him though, he's a smart kid.
How do you spell failed patient? R.I.D.D.L.E.R.
By The Seitz
I'm sane now, it's different. Not bad different, just, different. A long time ago I was the Riddler, the master of the conundrum, the all powerful creator of the most elaborate jigsaw puzzled questions in the world. A long time ago I was Edward Nigma.
Not anymore.
I'm Eddie Nashton again. I'm me, with all the problems ironed out. It's nice. Dr. Arkham gave me a certificate and everything. It says I'm don't need to know the answers to life's questions. It says I'm not screaming for people to notice me anymore. It says I'm a fitting member of society.
And I am. I'm my own man, I'm proof that Arkham Asylum isn't just a place where murderous screwballs go to plan their next scheme. Man were the good doctors over there proud of that. Little ol' me was their first patient in a long time to be declared sane. I bet it gave them a big warm fuzzy. I know it restored some of these doctors faith in them selves. I even over heard the doctor assigned to Joker telling some of his colleges that he was going to try extra hard to restore his patient back to health now that it's been proven that it could be done.
Poor sap's got his work cut out for him.
But anyway, I'm better, I'm happy, I've even been granted a full pardon for my last little robbery, so I'm sane and free. And I'm loving it. I'm even giving back to society.
You heard it here people. The Riddler is now a Big Brother.
I joined as soon as they would accept my application. They even took the time and assigned me to be the Big Brother of a little kid named Dwayne. Smart kid, only 11 years old but he's got a brain in him. I can tell. He loves Houdini almost as much as I do. And some of the things this kid thinks of. I can't believe he's only eleven. I tell ya, he's like the son I never had. Or ever will, wait, I'm still young, I shouldn't think like that. I'm sure I can find some one, hell, I know Dwayne's mom is single.
Jean, that's her name, she wasn't entirely thrilled that I was going to be working with her son. But she's lightened up. Not bad looking either, kind of reminds me of Echo with longer hair. She's lightened up a bit, like I said. And maybe if I work at it I can woo her. This love thing can't be that hard, no, not hard at all.
There's no mystery in love.
There's no big question.
There's no riddle.
That's what I have too keep telling myself everyday. I have to remind myself these things so I don't wind up back in the big house.
Life is not a series of questions.
Life is not full of hidden answers.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around. . . Who cares?
What's the sound of one hand clapping? Kind of a weak, airy, slapping noise. I know, I checked.
What came first the chicken or the egg? Doesn't matter. You can eat them both.
Yup. That's the way the new me thinks. No more questions. Now more mad grabs for attention. No more stupid riddles that get me busted.
No more Batman. Oh sure, he stopped by a few times after I got out. The big dark and scary knight, he stopped by and warned me that he was keeping and eye on me. And when I started with Dwayne, he showed up. Made a big scene and warned me not to screw the kid up.
Why would a man dress up like a bat? Cause he's as crazy as I was.
Now it's getting close to Christmas and here I am. I'm sane, I'm buying presents, well only two really. I've already bought Jean a little silver picture frame. She takes a lot of pictures of Dwayne. It's her way of dealing with his dad's death, capturing moments with her son. It beautiful when you think about it. But at the same time it's sad. It reminds me of a time when I would have looked for a question in the situation.
The letters "H" and "E" starts and ends 2 common English words. One painful in love, One painful in everyday matters. Do you know what 2 words they must be? Heartache and Headache.
I wasn't sure what I was supposed to get Dwayne. I thought and thought and agonized over what I could get him to show how much I care. Then I realized what I was doing and I bought him some Yu-gi-oh cards. He said he wanted them. He's a smart kid and that game seems to encourage thinking, strategy.
How do you make the perfect Christmas? You can't it makes itself.
And I know he's gonna love the cards. How do I know? Simple, instead of wrapping them I placed the cards in a special made Chinese box. If Dwayne sits back and thinks real hard about it he'll figure out that there are a series of 14 hidden switches on the box the needs to flip in exact order to open it and get his cards. I have faith in him though, he's a smart kid.
How do you spell failed patient? R.I.D.D.L.E.R.