This was it. What everyone in their year had been waiting for. NEWT DADA with a bonfide Auror. On either side of Etsy an excited boy waited, all but bouncing on the toes. Ernie had been waiting for this ever since Moody had entered the Great Hall, well aware of Moody's pedigree as the greatest Dark Wizard catcher of the last war. Justin had also begun displaying the same hyper excitement when word of how bloody amazing his class was made its way through Hogwarts. Gryffindors had emerged from the classroom all kind s of gloating victorious while the Slytherins had been pale and wan.

"It's going to be amazing, Snape's already pissed off." Ernie crowed jubilantly and Padma, the Ravenclaw who was sitting on the bench next to theirs, sniffed in disdain. Etsy met her stare and rolled her eyes mouthing 'boys' and the witch smirked in commiseration.

Moody made his way into the classroom with the same aplomb he had back at the Welcoming feast. His peg leg clunked dramatically against the stone of the hallways and Etsy wondered if he was doing that on purpose. Surely sneaking up on Dark Wizards would be difficult if his footsteps sounded like the blonde girl in all horror movies that walked slowly in ridiculously high heels before pausing to scream and then being murdered?

"Everyone here? If they aren't, well their loss. You lot haven't had any consistency in the teachers, eh?" His magical eye whizzed around and when it settled on her he looked surprised but shook it off. Etsy figured that if his eye could see all kind s of magical residue then her warding tats and amulets must be a glowing fucking beacon. "Right then, we'll go row wise and everyone's going to tell me a spell or curse they know and its strengths and weaknesses, possible uses and that crock. No repeating anything someone's already said." And the last row started shifting uncomfortably.

Which was all kind s of pathetic. There were only about twenty students in the class, surely they would know at least twenty spells that could be used in battle?

"We haven't had the same teacher for more than a year." Justin said worriedly. "First year was a jumpy guy who stuttered so much we used the previous years' notes for exams. Second year was this fraud Lockhart who was thrown in Azkaban for using memory alteration on minors, Third year, Lupin, was the only good teacher we had but he had to resign when he was outed as a werewolf. Fourth year there was no teacher, all the other professors split the class between themselves. Fifth year the ministry sent this gross toad woman and she offended the centaurs so horribly that they invoked the Ancient Rights of Justice and she hasn't been seen since and sixth year the teacher died on Halloween and Lupin took over as a substitute teacher."

"Oh right, the curse on the DADA position, I forgot about that. Why they don't just rename it Battle Magics and shift the classroom I don't know." They were now halfway through the class and so far it was pretty obvious that if Voldemort attacked Hogwarts the students weren't going to be able to do shit. There were a few Ravenclaws that she thought might be able to do something but on the whole that expectation fell flat, they had good rote knowledge but lacked the inventiveness that duels required.

Ernie stood up next to her rather proudly and announced, "Impedimenta." And began extolling its virtues. It was sweet but really more useful against creatures rather than people and even then mainly against creatures without a magic resistant hide.

Still, it would be her turn soon and she wondered what to say. The way Etsy duelled was a combination of almost constant movement and a fair bit of rune building. Last time she had used her wand to magic out an entrapment rune all around her opponent while moving about, it was just the way her mind worked. Runes were better. Spells and curse were good as distraction but always seemed weak compared to runes which drew their strength from the ambient magic in the earth. Runes were so incredibly beautiful.

But spells and curses were what they were focusing on so she would have to think for that. Maybe an obliviate to have them forget that a duel was going on? A tongue tying curse so they wouldn't be able to spell? But no, there were fair few Death Eaters who were good at non verbals.

A confundus? Yes, a confundus. She knew better spells but they were considered Dark spells in the Wizarding UK and since they were sticking to a more basic level she might as well work with that.

"Confundus charm. Advantages: Affects ability of opponent to cast spells. Disadvantages: If use dona much stronger opponent their natural magic may overcome it quicker than expected and is limited to causing confusion only on one person. If outnumbered and in a fight rather than a one on one duel, the spell is rendered all but useless. Is particularly useful since it also has the ability to affect objects and creatures both of which may be used in guarding things. Has implications for cursed objects since they may be confounded to redirect their effects."

Moody's eyes flicked around before focusing on her. "The one person to survive a Killing Curse thinks a Confundus can do so much damage?"

"Well if someone actually tries to kill me," She noted absently while Justin talked of the jelly legs jinx, "my first response is actually just shooting them in the head or lobbing a Molotov cocktail with a chemical accelerant that doesn't allow for a flame freezing charm to take hold but he said spells so." Yes, that was only if she knew beforehand that there were people trying to kill her but still. Besides, it was fun to watch them all freak out, especially Ernie next to her who was clutching a hand to his chest like a Victorian lady clutching her pearls.

"Shoot them in the head?!" Ernie squeaked and Justin shrugged as Moody moved on to the next row..

"She is American."

"Harriet potter is a British treasure." Ernie hissed and as the rest of the class continued and then finished and they began moving down to the dungeons for potions, they continued discussing her importance without any input from her.

It was weird.

It was also funny.

It was going to get funnier.

"Come on lads," She slung her arms around the boys and marched them forward. "Severus awaits."

And she could feel the shudder that ran through Ernie while Justin gagged. It was great, she'd made her interest in Severus obvious and the entirety of Hufflepuff thought she was doing it to make fun of Severus and retaliate for her detention. They actually thought she was joking. Apparently no student had ever hit on him before which she found hard to believe. He was a bad boy, an authority figure AND he ran detentions. It was the start of every porn movie ever made. He even ran the dungeons, that was the medieval roleplay stuff too. How could nobody have ever flirted with him?

Although it was concerning that the Hufflepuffs thought she was sexually harassing him and were doing nothing to stop her. If it wasn't for the fact that detentions were probably the only time she got to talk to him without an audience she would have strung up the house ages ago.

Unfortunately the last detention she'd gotten, some other kid was there too. That Weasel guy Hermione had warned her about had set off some dungbombs and gotten into trouble. Horrible guy, the first thing he'd said to her was "You're Harriet Potter! Can I see your scar?"

If she was a young eleven year old who'd heard that she would have punched him in the face and found a chair to break over his head which, in her defence, was mostly Dudley's fault for converting her to soccer hooliganism. But as a seventeen year old mature woman she had a different reaction.

She told him to fuck off unless he wanted her to punch him in the face and break a chair over his head. See, growth.

Sadly, he spent some time considering that. Apparently getting beat up by the Girl-Who-Lived would be cool. He only reconsidered when Severus came in and told him that neither of them would be taking him to to the infirmary.

Idiot.

But tonight would be just her and Severus. Well, once she flirted her way into the detention of course.

Fifteen minutes later

"...Detention Ms Potter."

"Now, do we do it now?" Severus watched as Etsy all but bounced on her feet.

"Do what?"

"Pool the information we have to make actual decisions that are rational!"

"What a strange concept, I've never seen that in practice." Severus dead-panned although it was true. The Dark Lord and Dumbledore kept their own council and Lucius preferred to only discuss Draco which was just terrible because his godson could be an incredibly obnoxious idiot some- no, most of the time.

"Fine, do...you want to start or should I?"

"Well I really need to know if you or ole Dumbles have any idea why Voldie went out of his way to kill my parents. I've gone over it a million times in my head and that doesn't seem right, he doesn't seem the proactive type."

And of course it started with the hardest thing of all. The prophecy that he had delivered to the Dark Lord and in effect killed his first friend.

"Dumbledore was interviewing Trelawney for the Divination job. She made a prophecy that-" He stopped there wondering if he should even tell her it was his own actions that had damned her. He could play it off as something else, something Dumbledore told him.

He didn't want her to hate him. She deserved to know it but Severus just didn't want her to hate him. He couldn't remember the last time someone had taken to him of their own volition and not just because Dumbledore vouched for him. He could tell her something else but it would be a lie. He'd already lost one friend decades ago when he'd lied and called her a 'mudblood'. All those years and even though Lily had all but hated him for saying that, he knew well that she didn't really know everything about what it meant. That one of the many reasons 'Blood traitors' hated that term so much was because it reminded them of a time in the ages gone by when Purebloods would, as a sport, turns muggleborns' blood to mud, slowly, torturously and all for fun.

He had lied that day and done more than just that, implied to his friends that he would gladly watch and curse her to a slow and painful death.

And before he knew the words were tumbling out of his mouth.

"I overheard part of it before I was kicked out and I went to the Dark Lord with it.The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…"

"What was the rest of it?"Severus cocked his head. Wasn't she supposed to be angry right now? She must have understood his confusion because she rolled her eyes. "Prophecies are pretty intricate in ways. If you hadn't heard it then he wouldn't have tried to kill me. But if that wasn't the case then there would have been no prophecy whatsoever but that might also mean that he would never have been defeated. It may sound arrogant of me but it's not. Voldemort diverted all his attention to a baby, having that disruption from his plans is what led to the Wizarding World being safe. Until then he was in essence a fascist dictator but when there's a personal opponent, a hero so to speak, he became a much more easily defeated villain. It's all a self sustaining paradox."

Severus prided himself on his intellect. It had fled him now.

"...What?"

"What was meant to happen, happens."

"Albus always says it's the choices we make that define us."

"Sure, but our choices are informed by the environment and the situations that shape the landscape of our mind." She nodded knowingly. "So the prophecy?"

"I don't know the rest of it. Albus knows but he won't tell anyone."

"So we ask Trelawney." She shrugged.

"Sybil doesn't remember any of the prophecies she makes."

"Well, shit. Aunt Petunia always said half knowledge is worse than no knowledge."

"Really?" Tuney said that? That didn't sound like her.

"No, I lied. Read it in a book of quotations. I suppose you can't just pick it out of Dumbledore's head with Legilimency?"

"How did you know I'm a Legilimens?"

"Voldie was annoyed by Bellatrix always asking about your loyalty. Crucio'd the fuck out of her when she got too repetitive and told her she was pretty useless whereas you were in Dumbledore's court and could pick things out of Longbottom's head. The bitch annoys everyone. Don't know why he was thinking of Longbottom specifically though."

"His parents defied him thrice and he was born late June, as the seventh month dies. He assumed that Longbottom was Dumbledore's back up plan."

"Hard to believe that there were just the two of us though. And Voldy's pretty old there could be a bajillion people born to people who've thrice defied him, it could even be someone from an older generation. I wonder if we could find some sort of access to birth records in the past ninety years?" She tapped a finger to her chin thoughtfully before shaking her head as if to rid herself of the thought. "Anyway,s o the rest of the prophecy can't be found."

"Except in the Hall of Prophecy. There's a copy of every prophecy ever made there."

"So we get it from there."

"No, no! The Hall of Prophecies is in the Department of Mysteries!"

"You people have some weird departments here."

"It's in the Ministry of Magic, the Department of Mysteries is where the Unspeaka-"

Severus stopped there and took a deep breath. Then he proceeded to explain every single thing about the Department of mysteries and why it was afucking big problem if she just rushed in there.

"I get what you're saying Severus, really I do. It's like the CIA. Or the Fight Club but see I'm not planning to break in there."

Severus paused. "You're not?"

"No. I just figured that one of those government monkeys who'll come here for the tournament wouldn't turn down the PR opportunity of being photographed with the Girl-Who-Lived at the Ministry of Magic and once there I could just file the paperwork to see the prophecy."

"The Unspeakables might not agree to that. They'll want to know what the prophecy is."

Which might not be good. If it leaked in any shape or form that Etsy was predestined to defeat the Dark Lord, people would go mental over her. She was already squirming just at the thought of the tiny act of using her fame for this, how much worse could it get?

"Well, then I won't agree it until they sign a magically binding confidentiality agreement that stipulates that if they dare divulge any part of the prophecy without my explicit consent given under no influence from any outside person, potion, spell or coercion/pressure from any form of authority. It's not like they can pick up the prophecy right? Well, not unless they get Voldie to do it."

"That...might just work. You'll still have to be careful though."

"I had wards tattooed onto my body, check every meal for poison, have a backup wand on me right now and enough vials of potions to successfully make a self igniting molotov cocktail in under three seconds, you really think you need to tell me to be careful?"

Well, when put like that…

"Still, you are taking this remarkably well."

"You don't seriously think this is the first time shit has gone down in my life, do you?"

Severus didn't respond.

"Holy shit you do! You don't know runes do you?" She pointed at her forehead. "Sowilo, basically just one of the most positive rune ever. It means wholeness, light, revelation, all those wonderful things. And when there's a magically activated rune it becomes true, it has life to it."

Well, that made sense. Absently Severus wondered if James Potter had this rune as well, certainly explained all the things he was able to get away with. But she was still talking and the cheerful grin on her face had dropped hard.

"-Unfortunately the magic used to make this rune was a killing curse and a soul fragment attached itself to it. Everything about its creation and the magic it held was the antithesis of what the rune really embodies. And ambient magic is relatively sentient, it can sense when things are out of place and it responds. Usually by trying to destroy the anomaly aka me. The amount of shit I have gotten into cannot be expressed in words. This shit," She jangled her wrists in front of him so he could all her warding charms, "-is not fucking paranoia because it's all true. I have the combination of the worst luck in the world, because somehow crazy, life threatening things happen to me, and the best luck because somehow I fucking survive them!

And now I'm seventeen, the blood protection is gone, my family could be in danger just because they're my family so I had to leave my home to come to this fucking backwater to destroy a fucking Dark Lord just so that I can actually go to my cousin's fucking graduation without people trying to kill everyone!"

And then she burst into tears. Merlin, he could barely deal with crying children, now he had acrying woman on his hands?

It was worse than when the Dark Lord Cruico'd him.

He'd much rather she started flirting with him outrageously again.

A/N: Look, I updated! I was inspired by all of you really nice people and your kind words.

Hoping to keep to this length now that things are actually happening especially because next up: Beauxbatons and Durmstrang are coming to Hogwarts and the Triwizard tournament is starting.

It's quite exciting merging the Goblet of Fire events with a seventh year. Goblet of Fire is my my favourite book in the series to re-read, my ultimate favourite is Prisoner of Azkaban because Sirius but I've read Goblet of Fire far too many I first read it I was in such a daze because it was so amazing that I can't remember the week after. I distinctly remember thinking 'Where am I, what's my name, why is this not Hogwarts?' during roll call and got very annoyed looks from the teacher.

What's your favourite Harry Potter book?