You don't get to the top of a demanding field like journalism without learning to quickly and clearly take in what's going on around you, and Cat Grant has most definitely made it to the top. She's built an entire empire based on her ability to find a good story from the smallest of details, and even after mostly stepping back from the initial stages of the writing process, she's still proud of her skill. It's what allows her to pick exactly the right reporter every time a new story comes up, what allows her to spot the minor hints in seemingly common stories and assign real talent to cover them rather than hand them off to someone who will stumble halfway through when things blow up. It's what allows her to keep CatCo on top, one of the premier news sources in the country, even if she does have to fight the Daily Planet for air time occasionally.

It's not a talent Cat expected to fail her in the most important area of her life.

Eventually she realizes that she'd been so caught up in the moment to recognize small details like she usually does. And that, that is entirely Kara's fault.

Kara, with her soft smiles and bright eyes. Kara, with her still ever present morning lattes despite no longer being Cat's assistant. Kara, who had literally saved the world.

Because how was Cat supposed to pretend she didn't know after everything that had happened with Myriad? She'd been fooled once, much as she hates to admit that fact, but one moment of "proof" can't stand against mountains of evidence forever. Not after facing the end of humanity with the woman.

Her resolve to give Kara space and avoid bringing up the whole situation lasts barely a week after promoting her, which in hindsight was a week longer than Cat should have expected to last. Because Cat had never been one to let opportunities slide past her, and after that week she'd realized just how much of an opportunity she really was missing.

Kara had finally found her an assistant, but hadn't yet decided what exactly she wanted to move on to at CatCo, so was still helping out on occasion while she bounced between departments, giving the new girl a much needed reprieve from the focused demands of Cat Grant. It was a balance that Cat wished she could keep indefinitely, the seeming best of both worlds. She still had Kara when she needed her, and the city still had Supergirl without the need for frequent and transparent excuses. When you don't have a set schedule, it's easy to slip away unnoticed.

But no, Cat had realized in one flash of insight that she couldn't allow the holding pattern to continue. It was selfish of her, and ignored the reasons she'd promoted the younger woman in the first place. Kara deserved more than a rotating schedule and coffee runs, deserved the chance to live her life to the fullest. She'd saved the world, and Cat would do whatever she needed to make sure that the world repaid her for that.

"Kara, I wanted to thank you" Cat had said on that fateful afternoon, sitting at her desk with photo spreads in front of her, spreads of Supergirl over the past few months. She'd decided that the anniversary of Supergirl's appearance would be cause for another magazine and article, this one carefully crafted to thank the woman without stepping too far into gushing praise. An article about growth and lessons learned, about mistakes and reparations, about a young woman who had nearly died to save the city and the world time after time. The only thank you that CatCo could offer.

But while CatCo might be mostly Cat, Cat was not solely CatCo. An article might be enough for a company, but Kara deserved more than that, more from Cat. And so, she'd reached out, breaking the silence that had settled between them on the matter, because Kara deserved to have her actions seen. She might want to hide from the world, and Cat would help her now that she understood, but she still deserved to know she was appreciated, not just as Supergirl, but as Kara. That someone saw her, knew what she'd risked to save them, however she'd done that. Because the world might know that Supergirl had risked her life to save them, but they wouldn't know that she'd risked this life. And yes Kara might have people in her life who knew both sides of her, probably better than Cat did, but that doesn't let the older woman off the hook. Because Kara deserves this.

"What do you mean, Miss Grant?" is all Kara ask, but there was a hesitation that shows she knows the thanks wasn't just about the latest latte or scheduling conflict she'd talked the new girl through fixing.

"Exactly what I said, I want to thank you." Superhero or not, Cat hates repeating herself, but she tries to keep as much snap out of her voice as she can. After all, she's thanking the woman for saving her life, snapping isn't exactly conducive to that goal. "I know we've been pretending I was fooled by whatever that thing you tried to trick me with was, and I suppose that tomorrow I can go back to that ridiculous pretense, but today Kara, today I am saying thank you. Thank you for saving us all."

"I-Miss Grant-I'm not..."

"Kara, I am thanking you, not outing you to an entire city. It's just the two of us here, and frankly it's a little insulting that you continue to insist that I'm mistaken. You may not trust me with your secret, but I assure you it is a secret I intend to keep." That last bit was more than Cat had intended to say, but the sight of Kara floundering in front of her was a little overwhelming, and she'd already lowered her emotional walls to offer a heartfelt thanks.

"But you're going to fire me now, aren't you? Free me to save the city and everything else you said I should be doing instead?" There's no more denial in Kara's voice, but there is a bitterness that Cat is completely unused to hearing. And with her walls lowered, that note of hurt is impossible to ignore. Walls be damned, Kara is hurting and that's not okay. It's nearly the same instinctive reaction that she has to Carter and emotional distress, and the details of the difference aren't ones she particularly wants to spend time exploring. There are too many possible consequences of that.

"I know I should, that all of my reasons then are still true, but it's obvious that you love this job and are willing to go to great lengths to keep it. And after you've saved my life so many times, how could I take away something that means so much to you? No, Kara, I'm not firing you. I'm just thanking you."

"So you've said" Kara answers with a small laugh, and if it's not as open and carefree as Cat would like, it's at least genuine. And well, she supposed a superhero is never really carefree. "And Miss Grant, um, thank you as well."

That's the moment Cat realizes she's lost, the moment all the little details she's been pushing away crowd in on her, too present to ignore. That's the moment all her carefully constructed reasons come crashing down, thoughts of age and relative positions fading beneath the sheer undeniable fact that Cat has fallen for the woman in front of her. And it's too much, too sudden to properly deal with, and so Cat doesn't. She does what she does best and pushes it all away. Opening up is too risky anyway, it has always been safer to avoid her emotions, because every time she doesn't she gets hurt. And sometimes it's worth it, but this, this could tear her apart.

So pushing the mess of emotions back in the box they came from, Cat carefully smiles at Kara, determined to avoid pushing her away with those damn feelings. And the smile she gets from Kara tells her that maybe, just maybe she's succeeded.

X

After that day things settle into an easy balance between them, Cat going back to pretending she doesn't know Kara's secret, and Kara settling into her new position. She still doesn't have an official title or job description, but she does have some semblance of a routine and job expectations. It's regular enough that no one will notice that she isn't officially part of any department, she still reports directly to Cat. But it's also loosely defined enough that her absences go equally unnoticed, aided by the lack of windows and slightly out of the way placement of her office.

And it works for them, works because everyone is so used to Kara being Cat's assistant, so used to her rushing about to solve Cat's latest problem, that this seems no different. She has more responsibilities, isn't constantly at Cat's side fixing issues and arranging her day, but for the most part nothing is so different that anyone would notice the change.

And Cat slowly starts to realize that the whole lack of change might be a problem on its own.

She'd promoted Kara because the woman deserved it, because she'd more than earned it over the years. She'd wanted to give her room to grow, to thrive, and to change the world in another way. Kara might not need wings to fly, but Cat wanted her to have the chance to spread them anyway. And she can't do that if nothing has changed.

"Kara, we need to talk about your position here" Cat says one night, walking into Kara's office after everyone else has gone home, knowing the younger woman will have stayed behind to catch up on work after an extended rescue mission earlier in the day.

"Miss Grant, I promise I'm balancing this job and everything you expect from Supergirl." There's a desperation in Kara's voice that almost gives Cat pause, but she needs Kara to understand, needs to give the other woman the push she needs to push herself. She might want to be normal, but she has the capacity to be extraordinary even within those limits.

"Yes, I've seen that. How many stranded campers did you save today? 30? 50? Supergirl was brilliant today, as always. The hero of the city." The praise is genuine, even though the note of habitual disdain that Cat really can't drop. It's a shield, one more layer of protection that keeps her emotions from having free reign. And Kara knows her well enough by now to know it's a deflection, even if she doesn't know what exactly Cat is deflecting attention from. "No, it's your position and performance here that we need to discuss."

The desperation is back on Kara's face, this time with a touch of panic, and Cat feels her walls soften in response. Not much, she's worked too hard to build them over the years, but she dares anyone to look at Kara in this moment and not be affected. "Miss Grant, please don't take this job away from me. I've told you, I need it."

"I'm still not firing you Kara, I told you I wouldn't, and I mean that. Your overly emotional pleas have softened the heart of ice, and the constant protection from world threatening plots doesn't hurt your case either." Even with the slight bite Cat puts into the words, more emotional defense, she can see Kara relax at her reassurance. "No, I just want you to be honest with me for a moment. Are you giving Supergirl your full attention?"

"I-I'm giving her as much as I can give without overwhelming myself" Kara answers after a moment of thought, and Cat nods to herself, having expected that. "Part of me wants to do more, but I know that I can't, that if I try I'll lose part of who I am, part of what makes Supergirl who she is. I'm Kara Danvers and Supergirl, and I have to have a balance between those identities, because I have to be both."

Well. That one Cat hadn't expected. She'd never really considered that obviously both parts of Kara's identity would be equally important, and she's a little ashamed of that fact. It's obvious in hindsight, and makes her earlier insistence that Kara quit to be Supergirl full-time seem less noble and more like she'd been willing to take a steamroller to the younger woman's life. Which really, was basically what she'd nearly done.

But that's not what she's here to focus on, and as much as Cat hates how shortsighted her earlier reaction had been, she's unwilling to actually admit it in so many words. She holds her emotions close for very good reasons, and this is no time to forget that fact. "And how much are you focusing on Kara Danvers? How much effort have you been putting into the opportunity you have here at CatCo? Have you really made the most of this chance?" Cat doesn't push more just yet, though she has so much more to say to show Kara just what doors could be open to her.

And Kara thinks about the question, Cat can tell. She doesn't just offer an empty justification, a meaningless comment about how she's basically doing two jobs. Because Kara has always done more than just what her job actually is, has always pushed beyond the base expectations.

"No, Miss Grant, I haven't" Kara says almost dejectedly, and Cat wants to take that sense of failure away from the slumped shoulders in front of her. Because Kara might not be reaching, might not be pushing herself to be more here like she does as Supergirl, but that doesn't mean she's failed at anything.

"Good, then we both agree and don't have to waste time arguing that point. Kara, do you know why I gave you this chance, the freedom to define a role for yourself?" Cat knows she's still defaulting back to cutting comments in an attempt to pull her emotions back where she needs them, but at least she manages to keep the bite out of the words this time.

"Because I saved the world?" Kara says hesitantly, more asking than answering.

"No. I would reward Supergirl for that, not Kara Danvers. You may be the same person, and believe me when I say I'm very thankful that you did save the world, but Supergirl does not work for CatCo. What she does for this city, for me even, does not mean that I would reward you with a job or a position that you had not earned here. You, Kara, you earned this position, and the trust that comes with it. You earned this opportunity, and I want to see you take it. I want to see you run with it, to make it the first of many steps forward." And at that moment, Cat had forgotten about her walls, her emotional distance, about any pretense that what she's doing is anything but solely for Kara's benefit.

And the look on Kara's face tells her that the woman sees that, understands that, realizes just how much Cat means what she's saying. Why she means what she's saying, which is almost unsettling, would be unsettling if anything of Cat's walls remained to warn her off. But they're gone, and all Cat can think about is how proud she is of Kara.

"Anything I want, Miss Grant?" This time when Kara asks there's none of the hesitation left from the last time. This time, she's Kara with the confidence of Supergirl, and it makes Cat truly understand that Kara and Supergirl are one and the same.

"Anything." There's no qualification to the statement now, no holding back on Cat's end. She wants Kara to take whatever step forward she needs to take, trusts that it will be the right one.

And then Kara is next to her, looking down at her, and if Cat hadn't watched her cross the room, hadn't felt her breath stop at the look in her eyes, she'd swear that Kara had used her superspeed to move. She'd been frozen in place by the confident walk, the self-assured look on her face, the only holdout a trace of nerves around Kara's eyes. Cat knows what's coming, knows that she wants it. That whatever Kara asks for, Cat can never deny her.

And then Kara is kissing her, softly pressing their lips together with a quiet sigh, and Cat isn't frozen any longer. She makes no move to deepen the kiss, but she pulls Kara closer to her, eliminating most of the space between them. Because Kara wants this, and Cat wants her too.

"I meant something a little more professionally oriented, you know" Cat says softly when the kiss ends, leaning forward into Kara's embrace, just letting herself feel the strength and security of the arms around her. She knows that if she gives herself any space, she'll hesitate, perhaps even regret the kiss, and she doesn't want that.

"Then you should have specified, instead of telling me 'anything' when I asked" Kara says with a small laugh, holding Cat just a little tighter. It's as if she knows this could be the only moment she has, and is as reluctant to let it go as Cat is. As well as she knows the older woman by now, it's entirely possible that she knows exactly how close Cat is to pulling back, how hard being this open is for her. How much she's fighting to stay present rather than let her insecurities take over.

"Well, I suppose you do have something of a point" Cat concedes, pulling back just enough to place a kiss of her own on Kara's lips. It's impulsive and risky and as much of an adrenaline rush as anything she's ever done, but she can't help it. With her doubts pushed back, she wants to savor this moment as long as it lasts. "But I did mean what I said about reaching your full potential at CatCo, about taking this chance and making it yours."

"I know" Kara says with a sigh, moving to step back, and after a moment of hesitation Cat lets her. As much as she wants to continue their moment, this is still their workplace, and Cat does still need to make this point. "I just don't know what to do, Miss Grant." Her tone is back to professional, and as much as Cat knows they should stick to that, it feels like another step away from the closeness they'd just shared. Another step towards the looming doubts and potential regrets.

"Well, it's obviously not that you lack the ability to take initiative" Cat says, hoping her smirk and the reminder of the kiss she's sure neither have forgotten will be enough to keep the moment close. "So what then, Kara? Too many options to choose from?"

"Partly" Kara admits, and Cat can tell how hard it is for her, talking about what she wants like this. "But it's also the fact that I am Supergirl, that in order to be her, I have to have a position where I can leave without too many people noticing. And nothing seems to balance that need with what you want from me here." There's an unspoken note of fear in Kara's voice that Cat can read as clear as any article, a note that says Kara is afraid that if she puts herself in a position that demands too much of her time, Cat will make her leave.

"So then we make a new job position, I've done it before when circumstances called for it, and I think this is obviously one of those times. That way the world gets Supergirl when she's needed, and CatCo gets Kara Danvers." Cat may not be willing to open herself up enough to admit that this is as much for Kara as it is for CatCo, but she hopes the implied compliment is enough for Kara to pick up on that. If the smile she gets from the woman is any indication, she does, but Kara thankfully doesn't push the issue. Walls down or not, with the distance they've put between them to discuss this, too much too fast will only push Cat away.

So rather than push, they spend an hour discussing Kara's strengths and needs, gradually working through any potential obstacles to build a job for Kara that fits for everyone. It's not perfect, Cat still half thinks Kara should be out on the streets more and wishes an opportunity at CatCo didn't demand so much time, and Kara is mildly uncomfortable with the small amount of authority Cat insists on giving her. It's really not much more than Kara had as Cat's assistant, but that authority had technically all been Cat's through Kara, this is all hers. And it's precisely that bit of authority, along with the spread of responsibility, that will keep anyone from questioning Kara's absences. Everyone knows how seriously Kara takes her job, her years as Cat's assistant proved that much. So with her responsibilities spreading into as many areas as Cat has decided on, combined with the fact that Kara will be an outside source of authority that makes her harder to question, no one should notice or feel the need to comment on her absences.

It's not until they finalize the specifics and prepare to leave that Cat realizes that leaving this room might mean leaving the bubble they've been in since the kiss. They haven't mentioned it, haven't talked about what it meant, but every look between them has been full of those unspoken words, no promises but also no regrets. And Cat doesn't want to let any potential regrets have a single inch of space in her life. It's complicated, and messy, and god she knows she shouldn't be considering anything but stepping away, but she wants this. She wants to be selfish, wants to let Kara be selfish. She wants the risks and the dangers, because the possibilities could be so much more than worth it. And here in this moment, with Kara looking at her with soft eyes, with her walls down, in this moment Cat can let herself imagine that it will work.

But beyond the door is the real world, and Cat knows she won't let herself be this honestly vulnerable there. The walls will come back up, the careful calculations will start again, and this moment will pass. And so if Cat is going to do anything to keep this chance going, she has to do it now. Because Cat is very good at going after what she wants, but she isn't always the best at letting herself want what she wants.

"If you're going to tell me it shouldn't have happened, that it was a mistake, or that you-you regret it, please don't. Just walk out that door, and I'll understand, but I don't know if I can take hearing you say it." A note of fear similar to the one in Kara's voice when she'd been afraid Cat was sending her away catches the older woman's attention, and if she'd had no idea what to say before, now she's completely lost.

"I don't regret it" is the first thing Cat manages to say, knowing that much. But she needs to explain, to make Kara understand. Whatever happens after this, they both need to understand each other. "Right now, here in this room, this moment, I don't regret it. And I don't want to regret it. I don't want to walk through that door and face the realities of a world that will tell me that I should step back, that I should call it a mistake, that you and I will never work. That I'm older than you, that I'm your boss, that I have a horrible track record with emotional intimacy. That there are so many reasons this could be a very bad idea. I don't want to care about any of that." The words are hard to get out, hard to force past the usual reluctance Cat feels at revealing any weakness, at opening up and showing what she feels. And if it wasn't Kara, if it wasn't for the understanding gaze and supportive smile, Cat would never be able to do this. But she wants Kara to know that no matter what happens after this, the kiss was not a mistake.

"You told me once that the world should not have the power to dictate our actions" Kara says after a moment of thought, and Cat honestly can't remember if she'd told that to Kara her assistant or Kara the superhero, and can't decide if it matters. "I could never regret kissing you, and I couldn't care less what the world says we should feel about it. I only care about what we feel, whatever that may be. I care about having the chance to find out, if you want to find out with me."

"The world can be a sharp critic" Cat says, not wanting to talk Kara out of anything, but needing her to realize what might come of this. "I can't control every story, much as I'd like to claim that ability, and this could blow up on us."

"I've been called a monster, I've been flinched away from while saving a cat from a tree, and I've had people cower behind bank robbers because they trusted them more than me. Nothing they say about this could be worse than that." The honesty in Kara's voice is what ends up convincing Cat, the set of her shoulders that says she obviously remembers the pain of those accusations even as the look on her face says she'd long since moved past them. Because Kara has a point, whatever the world will say if and when they find out, if there ends up being anything to find out, won't be the worst either woman has ever heard. And if they're happy, then words won't be able to touch them.

"If I start to push you away, I need you to call me on it" Cat says after a long moment of thought, doubts starting to set in as she lets herself truly consider the possibility of being with Kara. "I know I'm not the easiest person to be around, and you've managed to stick with me anyway, but this will be different. And that scares me, and traditionally I don't do well when scared, as I think we've covered before."

"I'll never let you push me away" Kara says, and it sounds so much like a promise that they can't give yet that Cat feels a small pulse of fear. She's already so far gone, so far lost in everything that is Kara, that it's overwhelming. And even as part of her wants to flee, she knows that this is the moment that will decide them, and Cat refuses to let fear be the emotion that wins out.

So rather than fleeing, Cat steps forward into Kara's arms to hold her tightly, just letting herself feel the strength in the arms that surround her. That protect her. And if Kara notices her trembling, thankfully she says nothing. It's as intimate as any kiss could be, as much of a declaration as Cat can give right now. It's Cat willingly opening up to a strength outside herself, trusting Kara to be there for her, trusting herself to let her be.

And when Cat lifts her head from Kara's shoulder and their lips meet once more there's a promise there as well, unspoken words and emotions passing between them in silent understanding. Cat thinks that no matter what ends up being thrown at them, no matter what stupid mistakes either of them make, they might just have a chance. They might just be able to make this work.