"So you really took your first life, huh?"

Boruto looked up at his teammate, who didn't seem as pissed anymore. He grinned and flashed her a 'V' for Victory sign.

"Yup! A seriously powerful one, too! Bet it took dad years to kill his first powerful opponent. He was the Dead Last of his class, dattebasa."

Sarada sweatdropped as he brought that up. Wouldn't he be surprised…?

"Actually…" Sarada trailed off, bent down, and whispered into his ear. In moments, Boruto was twitching and jumping to his feet.

"WHAAAAAAAAT?!" He bellowed and stomped away, intent on finding his father. Sarada, meanwhile, just giggled.

Even if, in his own little way, Boruto really admired his dad, there were certain things about him that genuinely pissed Boruto off. Missing Himawari's birthday was one thing. Not spending enough time with his family was another. Not killing a single opponent because his teammates basically held him back or did all the killing for him?

… Yeah. There were just some things that you just didn't do. Boruto thought his dad was cocky and nauseating before. But inadvertently or not, his dad kept his hands squeaky clean while his poor teammates had to stain theirs crimson red… They were going to have a talk, no matter how much of a power gap there was between the two of them!

"You know, idiot, it's kind of sad when you're a Z-Class shinobi and your own son got his first kill before you ever did." Sasuke smirked as Naruto downed another beer. 'Z-Class' wasn't an official Rank… But really. They needed something better than S-Rank in order to give the other hard-earned S-Rankers a break when they had people like Hashirama, Madara, Kaguya, Hagoromo, Hamura, Sasuke, and Naruto to live up to. If they didn't… the highest rank of threat an ordinary shinobi could live up to was A-Rank.

There were just some people so far removed from the rest of shinobi kind. That's just how the crummy system operated. To a degree, the 'new generation passing the old one' just did not work in some cases. If it did… they would simply have an unmanageable system, because they'd all be friggin' gods.

"Shaddup, Sasuke, I don' wanna talk about it…" Naruto hiccupped and slammed his bottle on the counter thrice. The bartender had come to understand that was Naruto's way of saying he wanted another. And who was he to deny the Hokage?

Naruto would have gone out for ramen after saving the world yet again, but Sasuke just wouldn't let the issue die. So… he needed to get drunk. Very, very drunk. And because of damn Kurama, that meant he needed to drink like seventy bottles or something… He was already on bottle twenty three.

"You know this wouldn't be so much of an issue if you had just killed that one guy a few years back," Sasuke 'kindly' pointed out. Naruto growled in frustration.

"I told you to shaddup. Wasn't gonna kill a guy if we could save 'im…" Naruto muttered between sips. "Y'know that guy dropped off the radar? You should, 'cause Sakura's been bitching to me 'bout it…"

Sasuke snorted.

"Because village intelligence suggests he slipped out of the village and went to the Hidden Sand." Sasuke commented dryly. "Do you want to know how long he lasted? Half an hour. Dumbass move, going to the one Great Hidden Village where the Kage can control the very environment itself without batting an eye."

"… Oh." Naruto said. What else was there to say? He'd tried to rehabilitate the guy. Really. "Poor guy."

Sasuke twitched but did not bother trying to argue. Only Naruto would feel pity for a guy that wasn't merely a serial killer but a serial rapist as well. Only him…

"If I were to, say… go rogue again right now… Would you be willing to make me your first kill?" Sasuke asked in that typical flat tone of his. He kinda knew the answer already…

"Nooo way." Naruto hiccupped again, signaling for another bottle. He leaned over to Sasuke and affectionately, if a bit vigorously, patted him on the shoulder. "Yer my bestest friend in the whole world, Sasuke…"

Sasuke just stared at Naruto in his slightly inebriated state. This guy…

"I tried to kill you. Multiple times. The first time I put a Chidori through your chest and left a gaping hole! How can you possibly call me your best friend after all that…"

Naruto let out a throaty laugh and hiccupped again.

"We're shinobi, so we're all a little crazy… And violence is kinda the par for the course, wouldn't ya say?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"Some would say that killing is par for the course with us… But you would be the dumbest exception ever."

Even though Naruto had only downed, like, thirty eight bottles, he still let out a drunken laugh and clapped like a walrus. A drunk walrus.

"Funny story about that! Lemme tell you something that Kurama apparently did a while back… It's funny."

By the end of it, Sasuke wasn't laughing. In fact, he was introducing his head to a wall.

- Years ago, Gaara Rescue Mission… -

Kakashi stared at the body that hadn't really been Itachi Uchiha. He stared, and stared, and stared. Here Naruto had finally gotten his first kill. Here he could finally get that little talk about First Kills out of the way with the blond… and the boy wasn't in control of his body.

"Don't worry, fleshbag, you can thank me later… Heeheehee…" With that, the red eyes and foxy features on Naruto's face receded, and the boy blinked confusedly up at Kakashi.

"Huh? Kaka-sensei? What's goin' on?"

Kakashi twitched for a moment before stomping over to a nearby tree and introducing his head to hit. Harshly. And several times. It took a scowling Sakura to pull him away before he did serious damage, but Kakashi was still twitching by the end of it.

"I'm… going to need a Yamanaka for this…" Kakashi said somewhat dazedly.

Best to just repress this whole experience. Not even Tsunade with all her might as Hokage would be able to protect Naruto from the viciously paranoid Council… Danzo in particular. They couldn't afford it getting out that the Nine-Tails had possessed Naruto, even if it was only briefly. And Kakashi didn't want to know why or how that had happened. It just did.

Because even though Naruto had finally gotten his first kill… In the end, the Nine-Tails was protecting the boy from knowingly shedding blood. Damn furball.

Author's Note: Just so we're all clear, yes, Naruto had killed somebody in canon… A minor kill that I glossed over in my research. I just think it's more amusing if Naruto wasn't aware of it. But aside from that one instance, the guy canonically has no kills that we know of. We can say that he came close in some instances, but 'close' only counts in horseshoes, don't it? XD

As for the Mizuki postulation… I will say I'm not entirely sure about canon about him. But I do know he showed up in a filler arc… I'd have to watch that again. But even so, fillers are about on the same level as movies in most instances. Like the Tsunade Dream Arc… that was not what it was in the manga. :P