Um... hi?
I haven't posted anything in awhile, if anyone noticed, so I'm sorry. At least I'm back now, right? Anyway, to the story...
This is inspired by the song "Like I'm Gonna Lose You" by Meghan Trainor. The song has been stuck in my head for the past few days, and I've been having writer's block, so I wrote this.
I hope you enjoy!
~Very~
Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan. Nor do I own any of the songs by Meghan Trainor, including but not limited to "Like I'm Gonna Lose You".
It started off as they usually do. Dark at first, and then slowly getting lighter, the bright beams reaching your eyes gradually. You squint slightly into the light, and when you move, it's hazy, and slow, like trying to walk through mud or water.
You wonder what's going on. Everything has a light tint to it, and so many things are hazy or blurry. It throws you off. You've always had perfect eyesight, even with your dyslexia. You've always been able to spot things quickly and easily. The silver and golden rays shining and dancing everywhere distract you, but you try to focus.
Your mind grabs at small little thoughts, trying to piece together where you are. The moon is shining, so it's obviously nighttime, but where could you be? Nothing looks familiar…
As you blink, the scenery changes. The moon and lights disappear, leaving you in a dark and barren landscape. There's a red tint in the air. Your breathing becomes labored. The air tastes toxic and poisonous, and tears prick the corners of your eyes from the putrid smell.
And then it hits you. Tartarus. You're back in Tartarus. You start breathing more quickly as you back up. There's no escape, something whispers grimly, and your terrified self isn't sure if it's your brain or some other force talking. Everything becoming increasingly sharper and sharper into focus, instead of the blurry haze of before. This time, it's too much, and you glance everywhere frantically, looking for an exit, or safe place, or something. Oh, gods, you curse as you begin to hyperventilate and tears prick in the corner of your eyes. How are you in Tartarus? You thought you'd escaped with Percy, and…
You jolt. Percy, you remember.
All of a sudden, he's there, right in front of you. Tartarus disappears, and the moon returns. Your surroundings are romantic and relaxed, mirroring how you are beginning to feel from being with Percy. Prancing golden and silver lights return, and it's just you and him. His familiar sea green eyes with specks and swirls of blue peer at you mischievously. You stop moving, almost stopping breathing, captured by his eyes and lopsided smile. Your heart slows to its regular pace as he grins at you. Percy, you think to yourself in relief. Your breathing slows as he envelops you in his arms, wrapping you close. You sigh in relief. You're fine, he's fine, you're together.
He whispers something in your ear soothingly as he rubs circles on your back. Your hearing is muffled for some reason, so you can't hear the specific words, and you can barely feel his touch, but you ignore your slight worry and push away any distracting thoughts. All that matters is that you and Percy are together. You escaped.
But then, he's gone. You're hugging empty air. Surprised, you jump back, frantically looking everywhere for Percy. He's nowhere to be seen. Instead, you see an endless landscape of hard, dirty rocks and stones and, oh gods, you're back in Tartarus and Percy is gone, and…
The rational part of you comes back as you begin to hyperventilate. You force down your fear and look more carefully, hoping and praying to all the gods you know. Percy can't be too far. He was right here with you. He'd never leave you.
OH, BUT MAYBE HE WOULD.
You stumble at the loud rumbling voice. You shriek as rocks begin to fall from the… ceiling? Sky? You can't see above you, except for a hazy, dusty crimson fog that makes your eyes water and your throat feel dry as you cough.
POOR, DEFENSELESS ANNABETH, the voice says mockingly. Your heart clenches when you hear Gaea's voice, but you force down your fear again.
"I'm not defenseless!" You scream out. "And Percy would never leave me!" You grab your knife and hold it out in a big sweeping motion, but there's no one in sight to fight. How can you fight someone you can't see? For a moment, you feel pity for all those enemies you'd fought. With your invisibility cap, it'd been an easy fight. They'd died quickly and easily. Do you want to die now? You look around again, wanting Percy to be with you again. You shouldn't be feeling bad for those monsters you'd fought. Gaea's playing with your mind, and it angers you.
HE WOULDN'T? The voice mocks again, but this time it's the deep rumbling voice of the god Tartarus. ARE YOU SO SURE ABOUT THAT?
"He's my best friend!" You yell defiantly. "You couldn't make him!"
IS THAT A CHALLENGE? The voice asks, and your heart leaps in your throat as Percy appears again. He is broken, beaten up and bruised. He is bloody and pale, dead-like and dying. You desperately hope that this is like the disguise of death as before, but when he looks up at you, his dirty, tangled hair covering over one eye, you gasp. His eyes, instead of the clear, bright green they always are - even while in Tartarus - are now dead. They are cold, empty, and lifeless. Worse, though, is there is no flicker of love, or humor, or happiness. The fake Percy just stares at you, dark bags under his eyes. There is no recollection in them. No love for you. He doesn't remember you. Your eyes fill with tears. This is not Percy.
"What have you done to him?!" You shriek.
HE CHOSE THIS, the voice booms, but now it is Hera's. Tears are now freely streaming down your face. HE HATED HIS LIFE, AND HE WANTED TO START OVER. HE NEVER WANTED TO BE A DEMIGOD. HE NEVER WANTED YOUR LIFE.
"YOU'RE LYING!" You scream as you cry, sobs wracking your body. You can't see Percy anymore, not that it matters. That wasn't him, and you are afraid you will never see the Percy you know ever again.
Am I? The smooth voice asks. You recoil at the sound. Hera's voice is cold, smooth, and deliberate. The Queen of the Gods doesn't care, and you hate her.
Hera laughs bitterly. I know you hate me. She says. You try to block her thoughts so Hera can't read her mind, but it is no use. But that doesn't mean I'm lying. Has Percy ever honestly told you he loves his life? YOUR life?
You freeze, before swallowing. "He loves me!" You cry out, your voice cracking from the crying. You cough from the putrid, toxic air. "Isn't that enough?" And yet you wonder, is it? Percy may love you, but even you have to admit that he has never really liked being a demigod. He pushed through, of course, and accepted it, but you knew he didn't like it.
Now the voice is gone, and you yell again and again, screaming for her to come back, screaming for Percy. But no one comes. And in the shadows, you can see the monsters waiting, lurking. You wonder why they don't just come and kill you already. You are in no condition to fight. Why don't you just die now? You can feel the hard rocks poking and piercing your skin as you lie on the ground, curled up. The poisonous air makes you feel faint, and you start to cry again, however much you wished you wouldn't. You want Percy again.
Faces flash in your mind. Your friends, Piper and Hazel and Leo and Frank and Jason, and your long-time friends from Camp Half-Blood. You see Sally, and your father and brothers and even your step-mother, because even if you aren't that close to them, you are still sad that you won't be able to say good-bye.
Percy's blank face returns to your mind. He's gone. You tell yourself. He chose to leave you. After all, you're broken. You can't be fixed.
All is lost.
You're crying, but now it's louder, and not muffled. You can actually hear. You take a deep, rattling breath. The air isn't poisonous. You keep your eyes shut, finding comfort in the endless darkness.
"Annabeth," someone is whispering urgently in your ear. Their voice slowly comes clearer. You wrap your arms tighter around whoever is holding you. You don't care who it is. You need warmth. "Annabeth, Wise Girl, please," The voice brings you out of your thoughts, and you sob. Percy is here. You cry into his shoulder, now recognizing the smell of the ocean and blue cookies and the a unique scent just… Percy. He shushes you and holds you tight as you cry on and on, remembering your dream… or rather, nightmare. He rubs soothing circles on your back, and you're relieved you can actually feel his touch. You bury your head into his shoulder as your cries dwindle down to sniffles. "Annabeth," Percy says softly. You take a deep breath. "You fell asleep," he states the obvious, but you just listen. His touch and smell and warmth and voice calm you down. You're home. "I didn't want to wake you," his voice sounds pained as he whispers into your ear. You nod into his shoulder, suddenly embarrassed as you realize just how wet his sweatshirt now is.
Percy pauses. "Do you… do you want to tell me what happened?"
You freeze. No, a part of you replies immediately. You won't speak the words, describing your nightmare. How can you? But as Percy holds you close, you find the strength to tell him.
And so you do. He listens as you mutter and cry and mumble and rant on about your nightmare. He holds you tighter and squeezes your hand when you start getting really emotional. And you're so so grateful for him.
When you get near the end, you can barely speak anymore. Your voice wavers, and you stutter. You are distraught, and that is the slightest bit embarrassing, even with Percy. You're supposed to be collected and professional, but here you are blubbering away in your boyfriend's arms.
"I love you," Percy's deep, soft voice clears your thoughts and pushes all embarrassment away. You lean into him, craving his warmth and comfort. "I'd never leave you, Wise Girl. You know that," He insists. With your face tucked into his shoulder and neck, you can feel the vibrations from whenever he speaks.
You just stay wrapped up in his arms. "I love you too." You mumble into his neck, sniffling.
He chuckles softly, but it's sad and it makes you want to cry again. "Do you know why I would never leave you, 'Beth?" He asks, and you know you're feeling better because you feel a twinge of annoyance from the nickname. Even if it sounds undeniably adorable from his mouth.
You lick your chapped lips. You're glad you've stopped crying. "Your fatal flaw." Your voice is scratchy and weak. "Loyalty."
He chuckles softly again. "Yes, Wise Girl," He said soothingly, and you should feel indignant by the slow, deliberate way he is speaking to you like you're four years old, but his voice is comforting. And you're too tired and comfortable to move from his embrace. "Loyalty is my fatal flaw. And I'm most loyal to…"
He pokes you gently in the side, just a soft prod, and you mumble with a small smile, "Me?"
He hums in agreement, and you can feel his smile in your hair as he puts his chin on top of your head. "So my fatal is you, Annabeth." He said quietly. "You're my fatal flaw, okay? So I'd never leave you. And I can't forget you. I thought we'd already tested this theory anyway." His voice is teasing and soft, knowing the worst of the storm is over, but it's still hesitant. He speaks as if you're glass, about to break, and you wonder if that's as far from the truth as you think.
You bite your lips to hide a smile and poke him in the side (significantly harder than he poked you). "Don't joke about that," You reprimand. You pause as he squeezes you and laughs in response. "How much time do you think we have, Percy?" Your soft, serious voice quiets him, and you can tell he's confused.
"Until what?" He asks, the familiar tone of confusion obvious in his voice. "Paul and Mom are already asleep, and the movie's not over yet." Oh yes, you remember. You were watching a movie before... Finding Nemo. That's why you're on your boyfriend's couch late at night, with popcorn covering both you and him. You feel a bit of regret for most likely being the cause of the spilled popcorn from when you were crying, but Percy's hand squeeze reminds you of his question.
"Until we die." Your voice is soft, and Percy tenses up next to you. Before he can say anything, you rush on. "We're demigods, Percy." You say with a 'duh' tone of voice, even if it's not directed at him. "How long do you think we have?" You finish slightly angrily, even though your voice is still tired and weak.
You can feel his uncomfortableness. "Roman demigods can live a long time in New Rome," He says.
You frown. "We're Greek demigods." Your voice breaks. "You're a Son of Poseidon. Not only do we attract a lot of monsters, but we've met so many monsters." You swallow. "Every single one of them must want to kill us now," You whisper.
He hugs you tighter, though you're not sure how that's possible. You're already as close as could be, with your legs tangled together and your arms wrapped around each other. "We're in this together, Wise Girl." He says determinedly, and even though you still have doubts, you know he'll always be by your side. "You're not getting away from me. Never again." The familiar, comforting words make your heart ache with both love and terror. How far would Percy go to keep you safe? You'd much rather die then live without him. "I love you," Percy says.
You sigh as you grip his shirt and squeeze your eyes shut. "I love you," You repeat.
And you know it's true. You may have faced many hardships the past few years, and there had been so many twists and turns and surprises, but there'd always been one constant. Percy had always been there for you. You'd always had hope in him.
And you knew that it was probable that you or him, or maybe both of you, would die in the next few years; or, at least, much sooner than preferred. You knew there was a possibility you would lose Percy,
But right now, you were happy. You were in love. You were together.
And you were determined on staying that way.
So I'm gonna love you,
Like I'm gonna lose you.
I'm gonna hold you,
Like I'm saying goodbye.
Wherever we're standing
I won't take it for granted.
'Cause we'll never know when,
When we'll run outta time.
(~)
"Like I'm Gonna Lose You" By Meghan Trainor
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
PLEASE REVIEW! I need constructive criticism!
~Very~