Epilogue…

Coming home from Switzerland was strange, but wonderful. It was a quiet trip, with each of us feeling, I think, thankful in our own way. I know I was enormously grateful and blessed, even Will felt that way, I think. Although we never spoke of it directly, I felt then and I still believe that whatever had passed between us that day at Dignitas had granted Will the peace of mind he was seeking in his planned suicide; and it freed him from the need to end his life. I believe that, from that day forward, Will trusted that his life truly was his own and that knowledge enabled him to make peace with his life. And Will making peace with his own life, allowed Will to trust me and for us to build a new life, together. We had 42 more months from that day to this. And we lived every one of them.

The first few weeks after our return passed quickly and easily. We spent our time talking and working out the practical details of our lives together; in these weeks, we became partners – equal partners. As our relationship bloomed, another withered though. It was not long after we returned that Mr. and Mrs. Traynor came calling to quietly announce that they were divorcing, both of them agreeing to accept and heed Will's advice that life is short and unpredictable, and too precious to live in regret. I think his frankness helped them both to see that they were fighting a losing battle in trying to preserve their marriage; I also think they were both happier once free of that burden. Camilla took it fairly well, actually, throwing herself into her work and also the planning of our wedding, which we celebrated 6 months later at the castle.

Our wedding was quietly beautiful. Camilla and my mum worked together to plan it, running everything by Will and I for approval. Doing so allowed my mum to get to know Will in a way she hadn't before, and I think that helped her to understand him a bit more and to forgive me for the choice I'd made in going to Switzerland with him months earlier. I also think mum loved being in on the planning of such a posh party as Camilla designed. Dad told me she would report gleefully to him nightly on the process and said with a wink that he expected she would actually be disappointed when the wedding day came, because she was so enjoying the process of preparing for it.

Actually though, mum was, of course, beaming on the actual day of and it was hard to tell of whom she was most proud – me, for marrying; Thomas, for serving as ring bearer; or herself, for her work as party planner. Nathan, Treen and Georgia made up our wedding party, along with Thomas, who took his job as ring bearer quiet seriously until he saw a rabbit hopping across the great lawn; then he tossed the satin pillow with our rings to the ground and took off at a full run after the rabbit. This made me smile and caused Will to laugh out loud and suggest we proceed with the ceremony sans rings, although Treen and Georgia were both aghast at this and, after collecting the rings themselves, handing them to us at the proper moments.

Fourteen months to the day after our wedding, Will and I became parents. Many were surprised that this was possible, but, yes; it's true that quads can father children and that's just what Will did! (I'll spare you the details and you can look them up yourself if you're so interested.)

Willa Clark Traynor entered the world at 4:32 AM on a brisk and sunny Sunday morning in March. As everyone who knows her is aware, she instantly became the light and joy of our lives. From the moment we met Willa, neither Will nor I could take our eyes off of her! (Much to the chagrin of all would-be babysitters!) We spent hours in those early days, weeks and months just watching Willa and smiling and, still, parenthood is utter joy; but Will and I are far from Willa's only devotees. Aunties Treen and Georgia, all four grandparents, and even big cousin Thomas, all will agree that, from the moment she arrived home, Willa has made this already beautiful life even brighter and more joyful. And the fact that Willa looks almost exactly like Will is a blessing both for her (because Will was so stunningly gorgeous) and for me because, now that my beloved Will is gone, I have the comfort of seeing him reflected in our daughter.

Will, Willa and I had 22 months together before pneumonia took Will from us, after a nine day battle. These last few days have been hard, but they have also been our last days together and, as such, they have been the best days in the world. We are so proud of Will for fighting as he did. He never gave in, and I know, would have given anything to stay with us, but it was not to be. Sadly, Will is gone and there is nothing we can do to change that; however, as Will told me on his last day, it is important to remember that life goes on. And it is the responsibility of the living, to live it.

Will taught me that.

In the time we were together, Will Traynor taught me many things; and he helped me in many ways. He freed me from my past and helped me to see that I could change my present and create my future. In short, Will taught me to live life. Will always, even before his accident, lived each day fully. Those of you who knew him then remember Will as a skier, a diver, a traveler, a businessman, and an adventurer. I wasn't lucky enough to know Will all that time, but I do know that, since his accident, Will came to believe that each day is a gift, even though some days are hard. As Willa and I move forward into tomorrow, and into our next adventure, we will miss Will, every day, but in missing him, we will also be reminded of how wonderful it was to live with him.

I am thankful for the gift of the 1461 days I lived with Will Traynor. When days are hard, I will remember easier days, with Will, and I will remind myself that each day we are alive is an incredible gift. I encourage you to do the same.