Hi Everyone! I am so excited to start this story and I really hope you all like it. This will be almost entirely AU. I'm not really planning on following the SOA canon at all. So if you read my other story, A Charming Life, just know that this one is going to be a lot different; more angst, more drama, and with a very different OC. But I've already fallen in love with this story, so I hope you do too!

So, you know how we all have that one person from our past who, no matter how long we've been without them, we call every time we drink too much? Well, the first few chapters will begin with Missy and Jax in the present day during some of those drunken encounters, and then the rest of those chapters will be flashbacks to when they were young so that you all get a glimpse of their history. The format is pretty clear when you read it, but I just wanted to point it out to avoid confusion.

And of course, I won't profit in any way from this story and I don't own anything from the Sons of Anarchy universe, but I do own Missy Adams and any other OC's that eventually make their way to this fic.

So here we go! Please review and let me know what you think…

And if you call, I will answer

And if you fall, I'll pick you up

And if you court this disaster

I'll point you home

(Barenaked Ladies- Call and Answer)

Chapter One

Jax was lying in his bed next to Tara when the cell phone on his nightstand started to ring. The moment he saw the number, he jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans, careful not to wake the woman sleeping next to him. He quietly walked through his house and out the door to his front porch, and only then did he flip open the phone and answer.

"Missy?"

She sounded like she always did whenever she called him at three in the morning; a little sad, a little quiet, and a little drunk. "Hey, Jax."

"Where are you?"

"I just got home."

He suddenly felt his whole body tense. "And where were you before you got home?"

"Not home."

He couldn't help but grin a little. "Smart ass." He sat down on his front step and sighed. "I haven't heard from you in a while."

She just scoffed. "That's probably a good thing…means I haven't been drinking so much."

As much as Jax hated to admit it, she was right. She only called when she was drunk, so he only heard from her every few months, if that.

He reached into the pocket of his jeans and was relieved when he found a pack of smokes and his lighter. He lit a cigarette and took a long, slow drag. "How have you been?"

"I'm good, I guess. I…" There was a long pause before she said anything else, but when she finally did, he could tell she was crying. "I miss you, Jax."

He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his long blond hair, that part of his heart that belonged to her aching even more than usual. "I miss you too, baby. You know I do."

He could picture her in her apartment, angrily wiping her tears away, as he heard her take a few deep breaths. "God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to call you like this. I think about it all the time, about hearing your voice, and I hate myself when I do it, when I let myself need you…"

Jax threw his cigarette into the yard and shook his head. "Don't do that. Don't you dare apologize for needing me. We're always going to need each other. This thing between us…it's never going away, Miss. How could it after all we've been through?"

Part I- The Beginning…

Charming Elementary School, 1983

They were both the kids that none of the other children wanted to play with. He was the one their parents warned them about; the one that came from a rough family, the one whose daddy was the leader of a motorcycle gang, the one that would be a bad influence. And she was the one from the wrong side of town; the poor one, the stupid one, the one whose hair and clothes were a little dirtier than everyone else's.

So on the first day of kindergarten, it was no surprise when the blond haired, blue eyed little boy walked over and introduced himself to the small, quiet girl with the tangled brown pony tail who was staring intently down at the floor.

"Hi. I'm Jackson. What's your name?"

She slowly lifted her head and looked at him with shy, hazel eyes…and then she smiled. "Missy."

Funtown Carnival, 1987

Gemma smiled when she saw her oldest son climbing off of the Ferris wheel with his two best friends, Opie Winston and Missy Adams, and she couldn't help but grin at the differences between the three of them. Opie was already a head taller and a foot wider than every other nine year old boy in their class. Jax was already startlingly beautiful, attracting attention from every girl in the school. And Missy…Gem just sighed when she took in the appearance of the little girl she loved like a daughter; she was two inches shorter than most girls her age, at least ten pounds too thin, with messy light brown hair that hung down limply past her shoulders. She barely talked to anyone other than Opie and Jax, but everyone around her knew that she had a heart of gold.

Gemma hugged each of the kids and grinned. "Are you guys having fun?"

Jax nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I won the ring toss game and the one where you throw the darts at the balloons. And we already rode the Ferris wheel twice, and now we're going to go on the Scrambler!"

She tried to hide her grin when she looked at Opie's slightly green-tinged face. "You ok there, Ope?"

Opie nodded his head while simultaneously clutching his stomach. "Yeah. I just ate some fries…and a funnel cake…and a corn dog…and a bag of cotton candy. I don't think I want to ride the Scrambler."

Gemma just shook her head before looking down at Missy. "What about you, sweetie? Are you having a good time?"

A small smile crossed the girl's face as she barely nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

Gemma just stared at the tiny thing in front of her for a moment before looking back to her son. "Do you have enough money for tickets?"

Jax smiled. "Yep."

She nodded. "Ok, go have fun and stay out of trouble. And be at the entrance by dark so I can take you home."

The three of them nodded and started walking away, but after a few seconds, Gemma called Jax's name and motioned for him to come back. When he was by her side, she took a few extra dollars out of her purse and shoved it in his hand, whispering in his ear. "Jackson, make sure Missy gets something to eat tonight before she has to go home, alright? I don't want her going to bed hungry again."

Jackson shoved the folded up bills in his pocket and nodded. "Don't worry, Mom. I'll take care of her."

July 4th, 1989

If was a few minutes before 9pm, and Ope and Jax were setting off bottle rockets in Piney's back yard when they saw her walking up the sidewalk.

Jax waved. "Hey, Miss! What are you doing here?"

A big, relieved smile crossed her face when she saw her two best friends. "Hey. My mom and stepdad are having a party. I, um…I didn't want to be there anymore."

Opie frowned. "Did you walk all the way from your house by yourself?" Missy lived at the trailer park on the outskirts of Charming, on the complete opposite side of town.

She just shrugged her shoulders. "It wasn't bad. It's nice out."

Jax set off one more Roman candle before he looked down at his watch. "The town fireworks are going to start pretty soon."

Missy nodded. "Do you guys want to walk to the park to see them?"

Ope and Jax looked at each other and smiled. "Nope. We've got somewhere even better."

Ten minutes later, the three of them had made the short walk from Opie's house to the clubhouse. They waved hello to Gemma and J.T. before going inside and walking into the kitchen, filling their hands and pockets with as much soda and candy as they could carry. Then they walked down the hallway and climbed up the small, metal ladder that led to the roof. And that's where they stayed for the rest of the night, side by side, watching as the fireworks lit up the dark Charming sky.

Sunny View Trailer Park, 1990

Missy was in her tiny bedroom, trying her best to get her homework done despite the loud music and yelling bleeding through from the other side of the locked door. She was twelve years old now and used to all the chaos in her home, so it was barely even a distraction anymore. Her stepdad was screaming about her mom not making enough money that day, and her mom was screaming even louder about her stepdad using up their entire stash. She heard some punches being thrown, but she wasn't sure who was doing the hitting. On any given night, it could be one or the other.

She had just closed her science book and was starting on her math when she heard something hitting the thin glass of her window pane. She jumped out of her chair and ran to look outside. There was only one person who ever threw stones against her window.

"Jax, what are you doing here?"

But when she caught sight of her best friend, she gasped. His face was pale and tear-stained, with reddened eyes swollen from crying. She slowly climbed out of the window and jumped the short distance to the ground, careful to not make a sound. Then she ran over to stand in front of him. "What's wrong?"

He didn't say anything, just grabbed her hand and started to run towards the woods that surrounded the trailer park. He practically dragged her until they arrived at a little clearing where they would sometimes go to smoke cigarettes whenever they managed to steal a few from their parents. Then once they were alone, safe in their secluded, secret spot, Jax finally looked at her.

She thought he was going to speak, but instead he just threw himself at her, wrapping her up in the tightest hug of her life and burying his face in the crook of her neck. She held him close as sobs racked his body, and then finally, after almost ten minutes, he looked up to her face and choked out his words. "Missy…" He gasped for some air and shook his head. "Tommy's dead."

She could feel her heart start to break as her own tears began to fall. Tommy was Jax's six year old brother. He'd been sick his whole life, plagued with a heart defect and always in and out of hospitals. But she still couldn't believe he was actually gone. She loved him. Everyone did.

She didn't know what to do or what to say, so she just pulled him close again and held him tight. "I'm sorry."

After a few minutes, Jax slowly pulled away and, never letting go of her hand, walked with her back out to the road, turning away from the trailer park and back towards his house.

It took them nearly an hour to cross the almost four mile distance, but they finally made it to Jax's place. The house was dark and empty when they got there, so Jax picked up the key hidden under the mat and opened the door. Never letting go of her hand, he walked upstairs, past his and his parent's bedrooms, all the way to the end of the hall to Tommy's door.

Then he stepped in the room, took off his white sneakers, and climbed into his little brother's bed. Missy just stared at him for a minute, but when she realized he was waiting for her, she took off her beat up tennis shoes and walked over to the other side. Then she pulled back the covers and climbed in beside Jax. They didn't say anything else to each other for the rest of the night, just laid on their backs staring up at the ceiling. At some point, Jax reached over and held her hand again. Then they both drifted off into sleep.

Charming Police Department, 1991

John and Gemma Teller stood on the other side of the two way mirror next to Wayne Unser, the three of them staring through the glass at 13 year old Missy Adams sitting in a metal folding chair in front of a small table, with handcuffs wrapped around her tiny wrists.

John looked at Wayne and frowned. "What the hell happened?"

Wayne sighed. "The school called child services. Apparently they'd suspected that Missy had been neglected for a long time."

Gemma scoffed. "Yeah. No shit."

Wayne nodded. "Well, all they had for a while were suspicions. Missy always showed up for school on time, kept her grades up, and refused to say anything bad about her mom or stepdad. There was nothing the school could do. But I guess today she showed up with some bruises around her arms, which was enough to warrant the teacher calling CPS. A few Charming PD officers went with child services to inspect the home, and sure enough, it was a mess. Apparently, there was drug paraphernalia everywhere. Needles, spoons, you name it. No food in the house, the electric had been turned off, it was terrible. My officers said that Cheryl Adams and her husband were both high as kites. They brought them all in. It turns out, Cheryl had an outstanding warrant for prostitution, and we learned that the stepdad is wanted for aggravated robbery in Nevada."

Gemma was overcome with anger, narrowing her eyes when she saw the metal around Missy's wrists. "Do you want to tell me why the hell that little girl is handcuffed to the fucking table?"

Wayne couldn't help but grin. "When they arrested her mom and stepdad, I guess Missy came out without incident, just packed a few things in her backpack and walked outside with CPS, calm as can be, but then…"

Gemma looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

His grin got a little wider. "Then I guess one of the officers asked her why she looked so familiar and the other officer said something like 'this is the girl that runs around town the little Teller thug'."

Gemma rolled her eyes but shrugged. "That still doesn't tell me why she's under arrest."

Now Wayne was all out smiling. "Apparently as soon as he said it, she walked up to the officer who called Jax a thug and punched him right in the face."

About an hour later, after they had talked to everyone who needed talking to and signed all the papers, Gemma and John walked into the interrogation room where Missy was still waiting.

The sad, skinny girl didn't say anything when Jax's parents sat down across from her, just hung her head down and waited for them to speak.

John reached across the table first and held one of her hands. "Unser will be in soon to get these cuffs off."

She raised her hazel eyes to them in confusion. "I thought I was going to jail."

Gemma smiled softly and shook her head. "No, sweetie. You'll be released in a few minutes. You had a really rough night, and you were allowed to be pissed about it. Besides…" Gemma placed her fingers on top of Missy's other hand. "That cop was an asshole. He deserved it."

An almost imperceptible smile crossed Missy's face for just a moment before she looked up at them with uncertainty in her eyes. "What's going to happen to me now?"

John and Gemma looked at each other for a moment before turning back to the girl in front of them, Gem squeezing her hand a little tighter. "You're going to come home with us, Missy."

She bit her lip and nodded before averting her eyes once more and looking back down to the table. "For how long?"

J.T. got up from his seat and walked to the other side of the table, crouching down beside her and taking her face in his hands, lifting it gently so that he could look in her eyes. "For as long as you want."

Charming High School Homecoming Dance, 1992

Missy angrily wiped her tears away as she stormed out of the school and made her way awkwardly down the steps to the parking lot, teetering uncomfortably in her first pair of high heels. God Missy, you are so stupid. She had been so excited and surprised when a nobody freshman girl like her got asked to the dance by one of the cute sophomore boys on the basketball team. Gemma had taken her shopping for the perfect dress, Luann had come over to do her hair and makeup, and when she'd gotten ready earlier that night, she had looked in the mirror and actually thought she looked pretty for the very first time in her life.

She should have known it was too good to be true.

When she got to the sidewalk, she took off her heels and walked barefoot through the parking lot, praying that she could somehow sneak back into the house without Gemma or J.T. noticing she was home. But she stopped and held her breath when she heard a familiar voice call out to her from the other side of the lot. "Miss? Is that you? What are you doing out here?"

She toyed with the idea of making a run for it, but didn't bother since she knew both Opie and Jax could out run her. So she just took a deep breath and wiped her mascara streaked cheeks before turning around and forcing a small smile. "Hey guys."

As soon as Jax got a glimpse of her face, he took a few steps towards her and frowned. "What happened?"

She shook her head and looked down to the ground. "Nothing."

Ope crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "Not buying it, Miss. What's going on?"

She looked up at Opie, then to Jax, and saw their concern slowly turn into anger. Jax clenched his jaw as his eyes narrowed. "Did that little jock prick do something to you?"

Missy cursed when she couldn't stop one more tear from escaping. "Nothing…nothing happened. He just…I was having a good time, you know? And then I told him I had to go to the restroom, and he followed me out to the hallway. When we got there he tried to…" She prayed to any god who would listen to please go ahead and let her die from the embarrassment she was feeling. "He tried to feel me up and, you know, kiss me and stuff. I told him I didn't want to and he got mad. He said, he said he figured I'd be an easy lay because everyone in town knows my mom is a whore."

Miss could see the tremors course through Jax's whole body before he balled his hands up into fists and turned back towards the school. Opie went to follow him, but Jax pushed him back. "Stay with her. I'm gonna kill that fucker."

"Jax!" Missy's eyes widened as she watched Jax stalk into the school, and then she turned to Opie and smacked him in the chest. "Aren't you going to stop him? He's gonna get in trouble!"

Ope just shook his head. "If he does, it'll be worth it. And if I follow him in there, all that's going to happen is that asshole will get two beat downs instead of just one." Then he looked at her and frowned. "Jax should have asked you to the dance."

Missy just shook her head, trying to ignore the way her heart started beating a little faster. "What? That's…that, I don't even know why you would say something like…"

"I know you like him, Miss."

The color drained from her cheeks as she looked at Opie, momentarily stunned. In truth, she didn't just like him. She had been in love with Jackson Teller for as long as she could remember. But she always thought she'd done a pretty good job of hiding it. She tried to make her voice sound strong, but it came out as a stammer. "How do you…why would you…I don't…"

He just rolled his eyes. "Fuck, Missy. You act like we all haven't been best friends since we were five. I see the way you look at him when you think no one's watching."

She swallowed the bile rising in her throat and ran a hand through her, for once, perfectly straight hair. "Does he know?"

Ope just shook his head. "Nope, no clue, and no one else does either."

"You won't tell him, will you?"

Ope just grinned. "No, of course not. I wouldn't do that to you. And besides, I don't think I like the idea of you to together. You're too good for him, Miss."

That actually made her laugh. Yeah, right. I'm too good? Jax is gorgeous and smart and strong and brave and I'm…I'm nothing. She took a few steps towards Ope and wrapped her arms around his waist, a small smile finally crossing her face. "You're a liar, Opie Winston, but thanks for trying to make me feel better."

Ope was about to speak but stopped when the school doors swung open and Jax came back down the stairs. Missy looked him over from head to toe, but other than some cuts on his slightly bleeding knuckles, he seemed completely fine.

Ope nodded his head towards the school. "Did you handle that piece of shit?"

Jax didn't say anything, just lit a cigarette before that familiar, cocky smirk spread across his lips. Then he looked from Ope to Missy and, finally noticing her appearance, sweetly smiled. "You clean up pretty good, Miss."

When he saw her roll her eyes he laughed and through an arm around her shoulders, walking her away from the school. "Come on. Let's get out of here. There's a better party at the clubhouse anyway."

St. Thomas Hospital Intensive Care Unit, 1993

For the past two days, ever since John Teller had lost control of his bike and hit that semi, the entire club had been crammed into the little waiting room, praying and consoling each other, as they waited for his condition to change.

Missy split her time between comforting Gemma and trying to be there for Jax, even though her own heart was silently breaking. She loved J.T. like a father and couldn't imagine living a single day without the kind, loving man who had welcomed her into his home two years before.

But when the doctor came out of the room and sadly shook his head, it wasn't her own loss or her own grief that she was worried about. And it wasn't Gemma, or Ope, or Piney, or anyone else in the club. All that mattered in that moment was Jax.

When she saw him standing across the room, she went to his side and wrapped her arms around his neck, desperate to heal the ache that she knew he was suffering from, just like she had done all those years ago the night Tommy died.

But back when Tommy died, Jax was just a sad little boy. Now he was fifteen, almost a man, and unwilling to let her comfort him. Because he didn't feel just sad like he did when Tommy passed away. At the sudden, tragic loss of his father, Jax felt wronged, he felt robbed, and he felt angry.

He pushed her away, harder than he'd intended, and practically screamed in her face. "Leave me alone!" Then he pushed passed her and everyone else, throwing a chair across the room in the process, before storming out of the hospital.

Missy waited for Gemma to do what she needed to do at the hospital before riding with her back home. When the two of them got to the house, Gemma immediately shut herself into her bedroom, while Missy took a shower, crying her eyes out as she stood under the steady stream of hot water.

When her skin was reddened and pruning, and her tears were all cried out, she stepped out of the bathroom and threw on some pajamas before crawling into her bed.

She was still awake a few hours later, staring up at nothing, when her bedroom door slowly opened and Jax walked in. He looked into her eyes and didn't seem at all surprised that she was still awake. Without saying a word, he took off his shoes, and still fully clothed, climbed into bed with her. And just like that horrible night three years ago, he reached across the bed to find her hand, holding it tightly in his own, and only then were the two of them able to fall asleep.

Teller-Morrow Automotive Repair, 1994

Missy was laughing at a dirty joke that Otto was telling all the guys in the garage, then laughing even harder when Gemma hit him over the head with a rolled up magazine. "Christ Otto, you want to put a filter on that dirty mouth?"

Gem nodded her head towards where Missy was sitting, but that only made Otto laugh more. He went over to where the girl was standing and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You don't mind my sense of humor, do you honey?"

Missy just smiled and shook her head. "Whatever Gemma says goes. You know that."

Gemma smiled before walking over and kissing her on the top of the head. "And that's why I love you, sweetie."

They were all still laughing when Jax walked over and grinned. "What's so funny?"

Gemma shook her head. "Just the usual. Otto's being a pervert."

He went over to his mom and kissed her cheek before peeling off his TM work shirt, revealing his clean white tee. "Just wanted to tell you I won't be home for dinner tonight. I've got a date."

Jax having a date was nothing new. It seemed like he always had a million dates and it never really bothered Missy, because he never kept any of them around very long. But something deep inside of her began to hurt when she saw the excited, almost nervous, expression on his face.

She forced a grin and tried her damndest to put some laughter in her voice. "Another one, Jax?"

Her heart officially broke when he shook his head and sighed. "This one's different, Miss. This one's special."

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "Who is it?"

Just the thought of her name made him smile. "Tara Knowles."

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