In all my years I had never pictured my life turning out like this. I'd had always thought that I would just grow up, find a nice man to marry, settle down and have kids. A simple life. I never dreamed of anything big, I really just wanted someone to take care of me. I grew up without parents in most of my teen years, and although I had an older brother he was frail; he couldn't do much to take care of us by himself. In those times it was unheard of for a women to be the sole caregiver of her family, but I tried my best anyways. I wasn't going to let us live in the streets just because society saw it unfit for me to work. I was born in 1923 to Sarah and Joseph Rodgers. I was the younger of two siblings, my brother being born 1920. I don't remember my father, but I was told he had died when I was still too young to remember. My mother raised us the best she could, it was especially hard for her considering the times.

When my brother, Steve, was 16 and me 13, our mother fell ill with pneumonia and died shortly after. It was a shock for us both and we didn't know what to do. I remember thinking how sickly my brother was, and that he wouldn't be able to provide for us at all. It was a mean thought, but I didn't seem to care because we had nobody left in our family. We didn't have much money as it was, our parents were very poor. Lucky for us our landlord was very kind and lenient so he let us continue to live in the apartment as long as we helped around the building. I would cook and clean for his family, while Steve would take payments and give eviction notices. The landlord knew that Steve wouldn't be able to do any hard jobs, so he gave him the paperwork, Steve was very smart and could do those jobs fast. We didn't have much to eat, but we didn't worry about that because we would always go over to Bucky's' house. James Buchanan Barnes, he was Steve's absolute best friend. They loved each other like brothers and always seemed to act like it too.

Mrs. Barnes loved us both so when she heard that our mother had died she let us know that we were always invited to eat at their house. Bucky and I had different relationship then him and Steve. It's not that we didn't like each other, we did get along just fine, but I always thought Bucky to be cocky and arrogant; even when we were younger. So we spent a lot of our time together arguing, but it wasn't serious, we never were really mad at one another. I guess as we grew older and we spent more time with Bucky I developed some feelings for him. Bucky never even realized, he was just caught up so much in other girls and having fun I guess. When the war came in 1939 and Bucky enlisted it didn't take me by surprise, and when Steve tried it didn't surprise me either. Those were just the kind of guys they were. I was heartbroken though, my secret love was leaving and my only family was trying to leave me too. Knowing that Bucky was going to be shipped off to war, we all spent the last of our time together before he left. After a very short two weeks, the day came when he had to leave. We all stood on the docks, a huge boat behind Bucky and people swarming all around us, telling loved ones goodbye.

"We're going to miss you buck." Steve reached out to put his hand on Bucky's' shoulder. Buck didn't say anything just gave us a small timid smile. He pulled Steve in for a last hug, and turned to me. I looked at him wearing his brown uniform, hat on his head, green duffel bag thrown over his shoulder.

"You better come back to me in once piece Mr. Barnes." I gave him a very serious look.

"Yes ma'am." I willed myself not to cry at his reply, he knew I hated it when he called me ma'am. He took his last chance at bothering me. In his own way his reply had been very sweet. I took a step forward to hug him tightly, putting my arms around his waist. He reciprocated and held me to him. I slightly took a step back after a minute only to put my hand on his cheek. I stared into his eyes, and rubbed my fingers lightly against his cheek. There was a small surprised look in his eyes, but I didn't say anything as I dropped my hand from his face and took another step back to stand with Steve and loop my arm through his. Bucky stared at me a moment longer, an odd look in his eyes, he look away and then nodded to Steve and I. He turned away from us and walked up to board the ship. We watched him walk all the way up, and he stood near the rails. The ship started to move and we waved our hands out to him, telling him goodbye. He waved back just the same, and we waited till the ship was too far for us to see him any longer before we both made our way home.

Trying to live life without Bucky constantly being around was much harder than I thought. All the things that he did to annoy me, I started to miss. I wrote him a few letters while he was gone, I sent him a care basket. He replied to me and told me how it was going. He never mentioned the moment on the dock, and neither did I. I felt it was best to be left unspoken. I assumed he did too. Steve kept trying to join, and I never told him anything. I didn't necessarily agree with him wanting to join in, but I knew no recruiter in his right mind would let him join. So I didn't worry too much about it. But when he became very adamant about going, I knew I had to say something. One day while I was making a small batch of cookies Steve came through the door, upset about being declined once again. I knew this because he always had the same look in his face every time they did. I didn't say anything at first, until he sat down at the counter right in front of me.

"Steve why do you keep doing this to yourself?" I spoke with out looking up from the bowl that I was mixing the batter in. I heard him sigh a deep sigh.

"I..i just think that I could be a good use to the army Arabella, I mean I know I don't look much. But I have a lot of other things to offer too." I stopped stirring and placed both hands on the counter in front of me. I looked Steve in the eye.

"You know they're not going to listen to that, all they see is what's on the outside. There is no looking for what you can offer, it's if you have the muscle to fight. I know you want to join Bucky and it's a good thought. But Steve you just aren't made for that kind of work." I looked over him. He was my height, 5'2, he barely weighed 105 with clothes on and wet. I saw his face, he was upset at my words. I quickly ran over to his side, and pulled him into my arms.

"You are the only family I have left right now. I can't lose you too!" I felt tears pool in my eyes, Steve was everything to me. My only brother. I felt him stir and pull back, he wiped away the tears from my face before speaking.

"You won't lose me too Arie."