Hey guys, I've been reading a lot of J&B fanfictions lately, and I've decided to write this one for the hell of it.

Summary: Takes place the summer after Bella's refusal to save Edward in Italy. Bella and Jacob attempt to further their relationship as time progresses.

Edited: 6/14

The summer after Edward's trip to Volterra passed without incident. My refusal to rush over and save someone that didn't even love me didn't sit well with Alice, hence her lack of communication for the past couple of months – save for the short phone call informing me that Edward was okay, that she got there in time, and that he was sorry for all that he put me through.

I said I forgave him. I lied.

But the truth was I was alive and starting to feel something closely resembling happiness. I could finally breathe deeply without the fear of the hole in my chest ripping open and crushing me into oblivion. And the reason for said happiness was a russet-skinned man with a shock of dark hair, equally dark eyes, and the sunniest, whitest smile I'd ever seen.

Jacob. My personal sun.

He had been less than thrilled about the spontaneous cliff-jumping stunt I'd pulled all those months ago, and even less so about the sudden arrival of Alice.

He was ecstatic about my decision to stay. Not only to stay, but to stay with him, as if I could even think of leaving him in the first place.

It was our luck that Charlie ended up being called out of town that week because of several deaths and missing people in Seattle. Jake eagerly volunteered to stay with me "in case Alice came back," but I knew it was actually his fear of a certain golden haired man returning.

He didn't need to worry though. I was sure that even if he did come back for me, things would never be as they were.

During his stay at my house, Jake and I got closer than ever. We talked about our plans for the future; how I was going to go to college for a business degree and open a small bookstore-slash-coffee house (Jake thinks I need to also sell sandwiches – "who wants just coffee?"). He talked about graduating high school and opening a garage in Forks (I said he should include the pack in working with him).

The whole time I found myself excited for the future, a future of growing older and growing up. A future with Jacob and my dad and living my life. And I was happy.

I found myself craving life instead of death, heat instead of cold.

It was an unusually sunny day in Forks, the sky was bright and blue and beautiful. I ventured out of my room, nearly falling down the stairs in the process. It was a Sunday, and I knew that meant Jacob was off of work.

Jake had been working jobs all summer – working at the Quileute Marina Monday through Friday, fixing cars for those around La Push and some from Forks, as well as carpenter work on a little wooden house on the reservation.

He was dead tired almost all the time, but he still made time to see me as often as he could.

I jumped in my old rusted Chevy and drove to his house, a grin playing on my lips the whole way. What Jake and I had was a boundary-crossing friendship of sorts. When I was with him, his lips would linger a little longer on my forehead after a hug, his hand rested on my lower back where my shirt rises to reveal a sliver of skin. All of these things sent chills up my spine and gave me heart palpitations. And I was okay with it now.

It wasn't that I didn't want that with Jake, I did. I just didn't know how to suddenly begin this relationship when all I'd done in the past was push him away.

Why was it that when I wanted him to try, he wouldn't? It was like he was waiting for me to make the first move, but I was too scared to.

I shook my thoughts away as the winding road to La Push dwindled and Jake's red house came into view. He was sitting on the front steps, his arms splayed over his drawn up knees. He was without a shirt and shoes, and I took a second to appreciate the way his tan skin rippled with well-defined muscles. The sun gleamed off his shiny black hair, but his smile was still brighter than any sun.

"Bells!" I heard him say as I cut the engine to my truck. Before my hand could even touch the handle, I was in his heated embrace. His scent – woodsy and warm – washed over me. Home.

I was home.

"Hey Jake," I breathed into the crook of his neck. His lips were on my forehead again, pressing a warm kiss there. I knew he heard my heartbeat accelerate at his touch.

He released me and grinned cheekily, "Came to hang with me while I fix up Mr. Whitewater's truck?"

I returned his grin and shrugged, "Thought you could use the company."

He feigned a thoughtful look, "Well, I guess I could…"

This earned him an eye roll, which he said that I do so much that one day, my eyes are going to roll on out of my head.

He got another eye roll at that as we headed towards the garage.

"So, how's Billy doing?" I asked as I took my seat on the flipped over milk crate. Jake was already slid under the truck he was fixing, and I found my gaze travelling down his smooth, muscled stomach.

I heard him hum a sigh, "He's alright. Charlie's supposed to head over after work for some fish fry and the game, ya know, old man stuff."

I mm-hmm'd absently as I appreciated the way his abs rippled as he moved this way and that. His khaki cutoffs were painted with ghostly oil prints. The view couldn't have been more perfect.

I was always self-conscious around Jake and the rest of the pack. They were all so flawless with their dark hair and skin while I was too clumsy and pale with mousy brown hair.

Jake seemed to sense my discomforting thought, because he picked this moment to slide out from under the truck with ease as his eyes trailed over my face. "How are you doing, Bells?"

I hated when he asked me that.

"I'm uh, ya know. I'm alright." I shrugged. Jake scrunched his forehead and looked down at the tool in his hands.

"Bells…"

"I'm okay, Jake," I said quickly. "Scout's honor."

Jake met my eyes once again and sighed. "Bells, you know I love you."

I swallowed thickly, my heart rate picking up at his words. I could feel the blush spreading across my chest and cheeks.

"Yeah, Jake. I know," I whispered.

He paused for a minute before continuing, almost as if he were racking his brain for the right words. "And you know that I'll always be here for you. I'll wait – I'll always wait for you, for when you're ready to-"

"I've already moved on, Jacob."

Jake's eyes widened a fraction. I was almost stunned that he didn't know this already, but the truth is he couldn't know. We never talked about it, even after these months after I refused Edward.

"Thanks for the heads up, Bells," he said.

I tried to fight a grin, "Yeah, well I figured you knew since you know me better than I know myself."

Jake chuckled, "You're right, how stupid of me," he fumbled in his tool box for a moment before continuing. "Where does that leave us?"

My blush deepened as I stared at my feet, the grease stain on the floor, my nails, anything but him. "Where do you think?"

"I think I need to hear you say it, Bells."

I groaned miserably, "If you make me blush one more time, I'm going to kill you." I said with heated cheeks.

"Sure, sure. But can we maybe talk before you do?"

I huffed. Why did he have to be so relaxed all the time? He always knew just what to say when I couldn't even form a coherent sentence. "What do you want me to say? You already know I love you."

Jake tensed a bit. "Was it that hard to admit?"

I sighed deeply and ran my hands over my face in frustration. "Why are we having this conversation? What else is there for me to say, Jake?" My voice was raising as I spoke, but I couldn't stop. "That I want you like you want me? That I can't get you out of my head – literally every night, Jacob! Every goddamn night I dream about dark haired children with my eyes and your smile running around. And I want that, Jake. I want it all, and I want it with you. But I don't know what the hell I'm doing – I don't know how to do this right without hurting you," my breath hitched, and I felt like I was on the brink of tears. "I always hurt you and I can't stand it Jacob! I physically can't take hurting you again."

He just stared at me, his expression one of shock and something else. I wiped my tears angrily and stood up. I knew he could see the way my legs trembled.

"I won't survive if I lose you, Jake. I can't."

He crossed the few feet of distance between us. I could smell the oil and sweat and him lingering, and when he pulled me to his heated skin, I melted.

His face was in my hair, and I felt him breathe deeply before saying, "We'll do this together, Bells. You won't lose me, I promise. I wouldn't survive that either."

I held him tighter and inhaled a ragged breath. We could do this. Together.

"Let's just promise not to leave each other, okay?" he said as he pulled back to look at me. I nodded and attempted a smile.

"Okay."

Hope you guys enjoyed this, and if you'd like me to continue Jacob and Bella's story line, please leave me a review! Thank you!