Chapter Six

Over Troubled Water

Harry's ragged breathing was cut through as he swore at the floor.

'Get up,' James said sharply. 'And actually try this time!'

Harry grumbled as he brought himself to his feet. The slightest shake of his legs the only sign he was tiring.

'Bombarda!' James said suddenly, snapping his wand out at the boy. 'Incendio!'

The boy's eyes widened and he all but threw himself out of the way of the double attack, his trainers scraping against the stone floor of the basement.

Ice formed where Harry's next step would go with a point of James' wand, Harry pivoting artfully to avoid the hazard. Only to be slammed in the chest with a block of conjured rock, the rubble sprinkling his clothes as he was lifted off his feet and put on his back.

Harry groaned from the blow, his breathing ragged as James fought the urge to vanish the stone.

'You're slipping.'

The downed boy lifted his head to glare at him, the fire behind his son's eyes all too familiar. 'Did you just make a damn joke?'

'Joke?' James asked, his jaw set in a line as he cast spells to clear the area. 'What's a joke is that you somehow came back from a duelling tournament with a trophy, but you're hardly improved from when you left school six weeks ago. Are you even trying?'

Rising to his feet, using energy James would've liked to see when he was duelling, Harry stomped over to him. 'Yes Captain. I'm just not able to shrug off getting hit in the chest by a boulder on a regular basis.'

'Then dodge better kid,' James snapped back. 'We've got one more day until you're going back up north and I'd like us to at least make some progress. I should never have let you go to the island with just Sirius.'

'Yeah,' Harry all but hissed. 'Merlin forbid I actually not train for a second of the day.'

The retreating back of his son, who was cursing him out not so subtly under his breath, was set almost as hard as James' jaw.

'Where the hell do you think you're going?' James shouted after him.

'To my starting point,' Harry shot back, a vicious glare coming from over his shoulder. 'If that's alright with you?'

James took a deep breath and sent his own glare at the ceiling, closing his eyes briefly. With a mix of regret and resolve, he raised his arm and cursed his son in the back.

A familiar ache burned through his chest as Harry cried out. Hazel eyes darted towards the nearest window as he fought back the instinct to ask if he was okay.

It was for the best the Auror reminded himself. Voldemort wouldn't go easy on Harry. The piece of shit would kill his son in ten seconds flat.

And if Harry couldn't hold his own against James, then there was little chance of him beating Voldemort.

That was the purpose of him going hard on his son. It was important.

The boy turned on the spot with a faint hiss, dabbing at a cut that had reopened across his lip. A quick healing charm and Harry wobbled slightly before steadying his feet.

A pang in his chest made James hesitate. Swallowing hard, he levelled his wand at Harry. Across the room, Harry did the same and for a second it wasn't Harry glaring back at him but Lily.

He shook that thought aside, mentally preparing himself for the last duel of the day. Knowing he would have to go faster and harder and hating himself for it. Eyes a little above his son's head, he set his jaw.

'Alright,' James said loudly. 'One last go, and try to hit me this time.'

James sent a quick variant of the traditional banishing hex towards Harry, who was already moving forward. The years as one of Gryffindor's Chasers showing as Harry ducked a compacted ball of dirt James fired at him like a cannon seconds later.

More dirt boulders flew towards him like a flurry of bullets from a Muggle machine gun, making Harry improvise fast.

His wand flew up, cutting one in half just as it would have collided with his face. The two halves crumbling as Harry peppered James' shield with spells, his word's only half spoke after his heightened training with Moody.

James ducked as one of his own dirt balls was sent firing back, the audible earthy thud of it colliding with the wall behind him a slight shock.

James snapped off a couple of metal coils at Harry's feet before firing another block of rock at him which would smack him in the chin. That'd teach him not to jump around like a damn acrobat all the time.

But Harry didn't jump, he blasted the coils and rock away with a swipe of his wand and kept advancing.

The huffing and puffing of exertion got louder and louder as the boy approached, his snapping off slicing bolts of magic at everything James sent his way. Rocks, conjured furniture and transfigured bits of rubble were all blasted apart or send careening away.

Wisps of smoke flew towards his wand arm, the tendrils looping around the elbow, before going opaque and strengthening, Harry was close enough that James could see the beads of sweat on the kid's forehead.

He slashed his wand, severing the smoky rope, and summoned a funnel of wind to throw Harry back.

When his feet left the ground, Harry's wand arm snapped out and another wisp of smoke wrapped and thickened around a pipe behind James. The man had to duck to avoid his head being wrapped in it.

Slicing the other rope, batting away the Severing charm Harry sent at him, and shocking his opponent with the move James summoned him closer by his shoes, hard.

Harry spun once in the air and landed heavily on the ground yet again, the thud of body hitting stone reverberating in James' ears.

The black haired boy groaned weakly, as James looked him over for any injuries. Guilt and regret stinging his eyes.

He had to resist the urge to rush forward when Harry tried to push himself up into a kneeling position, only to crumble to the floor in a pile. Harry rolled onto his back but didn't open his eyes. The cut he kept having to heal had opened again, his bottom lip stained red with fresh blood.

Pain swam over Harry's face, his hand clutching at his side, his wand left on the floor beside him. Harry groaned again and he felt the sound deep in his gut.

The next pang in his chest wasn't as easily ignored and James grimaced as he cleared the room for the night. He couldn't look at Harry anymore. If he focused on the sight of his son collapsed on the floor, he might stop training him as hard as he was. That couldn't happen, teenager or not Voldemort wasn't going to stop just because Harry was hurting. If anything, he'd make damn sure to prolong the pain.

James clenched his fist, tightening around his wand. He didn't want to do this but it was necessary. It wasn't like someone trying to kill Harry would let up, let Harry rest and recover from magical exhaustion.

'Dad?' Harry said, pain clear in his voice.

'Yeah?' James asked without turning round. He couldn't turn round.

'Are we done?' Harry sighed deeply, the sound of his wand scraping slightly over the stone like nails on a chalkboard.

'Yeah,' James said after a long moment. 'Go to bed.'

'Right,' Harry said, groaning as he limped into James' view, making his way to the stone steps that led up to the rest of the house.

Go see Remus, get the damage healed before you go to bed, James wanted to say. But he didn't need to. Harry wouldn't need telling and if the dirty looks Remus had been giving James were anything to go by he had best tend to his own cuts and bruises.

Thankfully, Harry would be back at school by the day after tomorrow and James would be out with his team. Remus wouldn't have to deal with how James was 'abusing' his son anymore.

Said son stopped at the foot of the stairs and turned to look at him, a torn expression on his familiar face.

'What?'

He could see the words swimming around Harry's head, questions or snarky comments or maybe something else entirely.

'Nothing,' Harry said instead. A stony look on his bruised face. 'Night.'

James nodded, watching as Harry dragged himself up the rest of the steps and waited for the tell-tale sound of the wooden door as it snapped back into its' frame, before he allowed himself to collapse into a chair.

Something was definitely wrong. Harry had not been that sloppy before he'd gone to the island. Spending all that time without constant training couldn't have made him drop so badly.

Moody had been training him before they left and while Alastor's training hadn't been as intensive as the last five days … he'd clearly helped Harry win and Sirius had given James feedback after every one of Harry's duels.

The one with the Estonian boy had been a bit concerning but when James had pressed Sirius he'd only said that Harry had been ill immediately after.

And now he'd be going back to Hogwarts the day after tomorrow. Where he couldn't train. Where the ministry was meddling. Where Delores Umbridge would be trying to bend the school to her will. The stress must have gotten to him.

That vile fucking woman, how she wasn't locked up was beyond him. He'd almost feel sorry for Dumbledore if it weren't his own fault for not listening to his warnings. Fudge was too much of a coward and a money grubbing bastard to hear that Lucius Malfoy and his little friends were Death Eaters. Let alone accept that Voldemort was back. He was always going to react by trying to curtail him. And with Umbridge trying to get laws passed that made people like Remus' lives harder only to have most of them stomped down by Dumbledore …

The bitch must feel like the cat who got the canary, when she'd convinced Fudge that Dumbledore needed watching.

Amelia had looked about ready to punch a hole in her office wall when she'd told him about the Wizenmagot meeting that had sworn Umbridge in as Hogwarts' brand new 'High Inquisitor'.

Fitting title. The Spanish Inquisition could have learned a few things from her.

Made him glad he left the Potter seat in the control of Sirius or Nick, depending on which one of them went. He'd probably have cursed the simpering bitch into smithereens the first time she tried to convince him that werewolves were all dangerous creatures who needed to be locked up. Or killed.

And Harry was going to be put under her control, like all the other students. She'd already given a speech to the papers about teaching reforms she would be making at Hogwarts.

Being in Sirius' classroom would actually be rather amusing when the toad-like woman was doing her 'inquisition' or whatever the fuck she was going to try and do.

In the same breath though, it made him want to keep Harry at Potter Manor all the more. It'd be fully restored, portraits and all, by December. It'd almost be as safe as Hogwarts at that point, especially with both him and Harry here.

But no, Harry not showing up for school on the first would bring in too much attention. Especially given that there was even more of a media buzz around him than usual. Dumbledore had stopped short of naming names when it came to his source of Voldemort's return but it wasn't like Harry hadn't disappeared in a very public place.

If no one had put two and two together then people were stupider than James thought.

James groaned, his body aching the longer he stayed in the old chair. It was late, Aurora was upstairs and if he was completely honest, he didn't think he could take much more today.

He'd have to try and coax some of that anger out of Harry again tomorrow. Earlier though. Wasn't like the stubborn boy would actually talk to him about what was wrong. That'd be too damn easy.

It wasn't even worth asking his son what was wrong.

The countryside started to deepen into woods and forests the further north the train went, an odd sort of comfort running over Harry at the sight of greenery.

Growing up with Cannock Chase, a reasonably large wood in Staffordshire, practically on his doorstep Harry had always felt an affinity to woodland. It was probably why he'd never been particularly intimidated by the Forbidden Forest. That and all the stories from his family about their escapades in it.

Shame he could count on the upcoming months at Hogwarts only adding to his stress and paranoia. He still couldn't shake the image of the boy he'd nearly killed at the tournament.

Every night his mind went back there, to the scene of a boy his age gagging and suffocating at his magic, watching the life drain away from his eyes and his body go limp in the wispy smoke of the spell.

He'd already taken to casting Silencing spells on his bedroom when he went to sleep. He was pretty sure he could do the same in the dorm. The other boys might not make much of it, Seamus might tease him about why he didn't want to be overheard, but only really Neville would cotton on.

And at least Neville wouldn't be as intrusive about it as Daphne would be. It was enough to make him glad he wasn't going to be sharing a bed with her now he was returning to Hogwarts.

He'd received the note in the Hogwarts supplies list for his fifth year. He would have to give up his private study and dormitory now that the tournament had ended.

He'd been back just shy of a week, and when he wasn't being put through the ringer by Captain Potter, Harry had managed to get a hold of the occasional newspaper.

Delores Umbridge, the bitch who seemed to live to make non-purebloods' lives harder. Especially people like Remus. The thought of her being in the same school as him … he'd have to keep an eye on his temper. He didn't want to know what he would do if he snapped at her. Not anymore, not after that last duel.

The conversation with his father this morning was actually the first time they'd agreed on something since he'd gotten to Potter Manor six weeks ago. It was difficult to believe it was only that long since he'd seen Volde-

Hissing laughter in his head broke him off and Harry shook his head sharply, the hand he'd surrendered to Daphne's grasp, jerking her attention to him.

'Harry?' Daphne asked. Confusion quickly morphing into worry as she looked him in the eyes and immediately, the peaceful conversation of the compartment stopped. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing,' Harry said with a forced smile, Voldemort's raspy laugh ringing in his head. 'You know when you drift off and then jerk awake? Just that, honest.'

Tracey raised an eyebrow, sharing an unsubtle look with Neville, the weight of what wasn't being said out loud hanging heavy in the space between them. Daphne's attention purely on him as she squeezed his fingers, the closeness of her making him feel trapped. He needed out, he needed to be away. His heart was racing, it felt like it would burst out of his chest before them. His lungs clawing their way out of his rib cage.

He couldn't breathe like this.

Just like that boy …

'Harry …' Daphne said with her fingers touching where his pulse was.

As if the universe had seen his need for a distraction, the compartment door burst open and Hermione Granger stormed in, her face like thunder. 'Bloody typical!'

'Mione?' Harry latched onto the shout, his heart already starting to calm down as Hermione angrily perched on the spare seat they'd left for her, looking like a tiger whose tail had been pulled. 'What's up?'

'Why couldn't one of you be a prefect too?!' Hermione shouted, ignoring Harry and pointing at Daphne and Tracey in turn, like they had deeply offended her.

'Hermione,' Neville said reaching out to tap her on the arm, his hand shrinking back as the bushy haired girl all but snarled at him.

'Well?' Hermione asked, glaring hard as her head swivelled from one scared Slytherin to the other.

'I love it when you get fiery,' Tracey cooed as she sidled up to the enraged Gryffindor. 'It's scary as shit.'

'I will set you on fire,' Hermione snarled, making Tracey back off with her hands in the air. 'One of you must have been offered it over that vile Parkinson hag. They're just going to abuse the power as opposed to helping students and I could at least have lived with Malfoy if he was being kept in line by one of you. So explain.'

The four of them just sat in stunned silence. It wasn't that Hermione didn't occasionally blow up into a rage. But it very, very rarely ever got to this level of purest fury. It wasn't since she'd learned about how Remus was treated that Harry had seen Hermione lose her temper like she was now.

'Hermione,' Daphne said, her hand mercifully leaving Harry's for the first time since they'd sat down, gesturing for the irate girl to calm down with both palms. 'We're sorry but you know prefects are chosen by the Head of House. Snape was never going to choose one of us.'

Because Snape, in his infinite pettiness would never have given power to anyone who was friends with Harry Potter. Which had screwed any of the reasonable Slytherins out of prefect positions.

'Are the other prefects okay at least? What about the new Head Boy and Head Girl?' Neville offered with a desperate plea with his eyes for the others to move the conversation forward.

'Yeah isn't Cedric Head Boy this year?' Daphne asked.

Hermione nodded stiffly, her accusing glower simmering down to a frustrated glare. 'He is, and Jessica Polturn from Ravenclaw is Head Girl.'

The blonde to his side smiled at Hermione who was growing less angry as the moments passed. 'So who are the new prefects?'

'Ernie Macmillan and Susan Bones from Hufflepuff,' Neville chimed in. 'Hannah was telling me over summer when she visited the manor.'

Looks were sent Harry's way but it was Tracey who smirked at their friend's admission.

'Bet talking wasn't the only thing you two did over the summer eh Nev?' Tracey nudged the boy in the side.

Neville didn't answer the question, his face doing that for him. 'So who are the Ravenclaw prefects?'

'Padma Patil, you know Parvati's twin?' Hermione said, her tone still terse but less acidic. 'Anthony Goldstein. So it's mostly decent people. But still … you couldn't have tried harder?' She looked imploringly at the two Slytherin girls.

Said Slytherins smiled apologetically and Hermione's head dropped as she groaned into her hands.

'So …' Harry asked, desperate to keep the conversation going. 'Who's the other prefect from our house?'

'Yeah actually,' Neville said leaning forward in his seat. 'I was sure it would be one of us … I mean the other guys are awesome-'

'Even Ron?' Harry asked bemusedly. He'd never disliked the youngest Weasley boy, he just seemed a bit … well he didn't want to say lame but when your brothers were Fred and George Weasley … that was a lot of coolness to live up to. Maybe he was just biased. He'd been on the Quidditch team with them since second year, it made sense he knew them better.

'Oh yeah,' Neville said with a dismissive wave. 'He's pretty cool actually. The four of us would hang out a lot in the dorm last year. Good guys, but I didn't really see any of them getting the badge over you and me. But I'm guessing it's Dean?'

Harry had actually expected a badge if he was strictly honest. And he'd never been more relieved not to get one. That was the very last thing he needed this year. But he had thought it would be Neville.

Also the idea of Dean and Seamus with any kind of authority was laughable and he was probably being really unkind to Ron but he didn't seem the type to manage having to tell people off. He'd always seemed either too high strung around Harry or laid back to the point that he'd probably only give detentions to people who'd pissed him off personally.

Slytherins basically. It wasn't like the rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin came out of nowhere after all.

'So go on Mione, who's the bloke prefect? Please tell me it's Dean. He'd be better than the Irish wannabe Casanova.' Tracey's grumble earning some chuckles from the others in the compartment. 'I'll curse him before you have to go on patrol with him. Keep him honest.'

The brainy girl went a bit pink as she coughed into her hand and a flicker of a smile crossed her face. 'I'm sure if I were to have a Seamus shaped problem it'd be solved quickly enough. But you can relax, it's actually Ron.'

Huh.

Harry shrugged and turned to look out onto the countryside. He'd feel snubbed for being passed over for Ron Weasley but again, he was just relieved it wasn't him.

'Ron?!' Daphne asked. 'McGonagall picked Ronald Weasley over Harry or Neville?'

'Mhmm,' Hermione said with a nod. 'He actually surprised me with how serious he's taking the responsibility. He was asking as many questions as I was. Told Malfoy to shut his mouth when he was muttering something. That was just before Cedric called an end to the meeting. I'm actually meant to be meeting him for patrols soon … we want to get a feel for how we work together.'

'You're going to be so bored Hermione,' Daphne said with a sympathetic frown. 'I've heard him and the other boys talking about Quidditch more emphatically than Harry does. I'm not sure he'd know how to talk about anything else.'

'I don't know,' Hermione said, a frown matching Daphne's. 'We were talking a little bit before I left to come here. Asked how my summer was and was perfectly friendly. It might be okay, he's definitely matured more than Dean and Seamus. Professor McGonagall must have seen something we didn't.'

The other three shared incredulous looks but Harry was paying attention to Hermione's pinking cheeks and allowed himself a small smile. It would appear that Hermione wasn't just being her usually nice self in standing up for Ron's new maturity.

They passed through more of the countryside, the border between England and Scotland chugging past as Hermione glanced out the window.

'I should actually go to be honest,' Hermione said as she sighed deeply. 'We don't want to miss the first years.'

Harry went to stand, disentangling himself from Daphne, her arms leaving him like a snake being frightened away with fire. 'Hold on Hermione, I'll come with you.'

Raised eyebrows and curious looks stared up at him from all around. His chest tightened and he felt his throat close. 'What?'

'Nothing,' Hermione said, placating tone doing nothing more than annoy him, pausing in the doorway to look at him. 'But I will be going on a quick patrol. You'll have to come back through on your own. Past all those people, are you sure?'

His chest constricted as their gazes continued to bore into him. The eyes like those of the crowd back on the island, only instead of cheering on his violence and hurting another teenager … it was filled with confusion and worry. Which was about a million times worse somehow.

'Yeah, that's fine.' Harry picked his way past the legs of his friends. 'I'm just stretching my legs a bit before the madness. I leave it much later and I'll be stiff.'

He was waiting for joke to come, honestly he was. He'd practically set the damn thing up for one of them. He had expected Tracey wouldn't have been able to resist it. Instead there were shared glances, suspicion and uncertainty everywhere. Like they didn't think he couldn't manage alone. That nowhere was safe, not even the Hogwarts Express.

Or maybe they were worried that he'd attack someone.

'Well...' Hermione said, her mouth turning downwards. 'If you're sure.'

Harry widened his eyes to give Hermione one final insistence and waved back at the rest of the compartment. 'I'll be back soon,' he said before anyone tried to object or worse, offered to join in.

Stepping into the corridor outside was like stepping into a roaring cavern. With howling animals, or teenagers as they were actually called, on either side. Young and high squeaky voices shouting in animated excitement the closer they got to Hogwarts. All their fears and excitement bubbling up to the surface and charging the air with emotion.

Deeper and older voices adding more clamour but of a more raucous, boisterous noise. Sharing exploits of the summer, not knowing what was out there in the darkness that was smothering the countryside. He had felt it when he'd come back, the second he was back in the UK he'd felt a smog of negativity falling over the whole country.

But no one other than him seemed to notice, like the whole feeling was something he was imagining. It only appeared to be bothering him or people who were around him. Like the sheer lack of knowledge of the Death Eaters and Voldemort being in the shadows, which in truth they had been since last summer too, but now emboldened due to their master's return, was giving them blissful ignorance.

'So I didn't really get a chance to talk to you earlier Harry,' Hermione said, the awkwardness of the forced conversation as thick as pea soup. 'How was your summer?'

Harry shrugged, a frown burrowed into his face before he could marshal his expression into neutrality. 'It was alright, I'm sure Daphne told you everything important.'

The Estonian boy's pale face flashing in his vision.

'Yes,' Hermione said. 'She said you both won? And you got to walk around the island, I bet that was interesting.'

Harry nodded. 'It was nice yeah. How was your summer?'

'It was good,' Hermione said, a bright smile spreading across her face. It made Harry's lips lift at the corners ever so slightly. 'I got most of my homework done in the first week and then I spent the rest of the holidays with my parents in France. We had a wonderful time, I even got to meet up with Viktor. He made a special trip to Paris while I was there. His coach yelled at him something horrible. He said he'd gotten a Howler …' Hermione blushed but kept talking, easing into her story. A much less complicated thing to do than drag information out of Harry.

He really should try a little harder to be easier to talk to. At least with Hermione, she wasn't as bad as the others, who didn't seem able to actually stop watching him like he'd crack or lash out,

'Things still going well with Viktor then?' Harry asked as they picked their way to where he assumed Hermione had agreed to meet Ron. 'Making the distance work?'

Hermione nodded, her cheeks getting even redder. 'Mhmm, he's very busy though. It's not easy sometimes but he understands I've got school and the European Quidditch League started up again over the summer … which you probably know, oh don't look at me like that Harry, I had to explain that my boyfriend was a sport star to my dad. I had to read the whole history of Quidditch so I could answer his questions. He talked Viktor's ear off about rugby when he came to meet us. It was horrible.'

Harry, who hadn't been able to resist a smirk that Hermione Granger was telling him about Quidditch leagues, morphed it into a softer smile and patted the girl gently on the shoulder. 'I get it Hermione, it's okay. I'm glad things are going well. You deserve it.'

They walked in an awkward silence, a shared nod and smile all either of them could manage when their eyes caught.

Each time their eyes met though, he could practically feel Hermione's repressing the need to ask him more in depth questions. Because Daphne will have only told her the nice stuff, possibly the relationship stuff but Remus hadn't dubbed Hermione the smartest girl in their year for nothing. She'd keep asking questions until she got the answers she wanted.

It was why her homework assignments were always sourcing so many different books. After years of checking each other's homework and just living in the same tower, he knew Hermione probably researched twice as much as Harry and Neville combined.

Half the story would be driving her nuts.

So as her mouth opened to ask the first of many many questions that would make Harry want to crawl into a ball and scream … a compartment door opened and a tall boy with freckles and fiery red hair stepped out, the light off the top of the carriage reflecting against his prefect badge.

The laugh he'd been in the middle of faded off and a welcoming smile ran across Ron Weasley's face as he brought himself to a sudden stop, the bloke towering over Hermione as he looked down at her. 'Oh shit, sorry Hermione, nearly knocked you over, you alright?'

Colour bloomed in Hermione's face as she smiled back, more girlishly then he'd ever really seen her smile, and shook her head. 'It's okay Ron, I was just coming to meet you, do you want to see if we can find an empty compartment to go over the details?'

'Sounds brill. Bye guys, I'll see you at the feast.' He waved back at who, Harry could only assume, were Seamus, Dean, Lavender and the Patil twins as he shut the compartment door before gesturing down the carriage. 'Shall we?'

Harry raised an eyebrow but let it go. There were so many jokes he could make with that little back and forth but honestly, he couldn't be bothered.

Ron nodded and his eyes flit to Harry, who he appeared to have only just noticed, the confusion in his eyes clear as day as he gave him an amicable reverse nod. 'Alright Harry? Good summer?'

The Estonian boy's face swam in his mind again.

'Yeah, not bad. Yours?'

Ron hummed. 'Can't complain, not as good as last year's. But then how do you top the Quidditch World Cup?'

Harry chuckled and an ease settled over the width of his shoulders as he fell in step behind the newest Gryffindor prefects. 'You were there? I didn't see you.'

The ginger's ears went redder than his hair but his smile remained bright as anything. 'Yeah, Dad won some tickets in a Ministry sweepstake.' Ron slid his hands into his pockets. 'Though I gotta ask, why are you with Hermione? Not that it's not nice to see you but I thought it was just gonna be us two?'

Hermione's eyes darted to Harry and the need to ask him questions was clearly still present as she answered Ron. 'Oh it will be, Harry's just stretching his legs before he goes back. Right Harry?'

Strangely feeling like a third wheel all of a sudden, a curious Ron still eyeing him genially as Hermione seemed to be torn between demanding answers and begging him to go the hell away with her eyes.

Weird.

'Yeah, I get fidgety if I sit still for too long.' Harry shrugged and rubbed at his neck. 'So if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you crazy kids to your prefect duties.'

Hermione pursed her lips but Ron grinned appreciatively as he looked into a compartment window. 'Looks like this compartment might be empty.'

'Oh! Right,' Hermione said, a flicker of shock in her voice before she made to enter the compartment after the retreating back of Ron. She paused by Harry and placed a hand on his arm. He could feel the burn of her touch through his long sleeved top and fought the urge to whip his arm away. 'Are you okay Harry? Honestly.'

No

'Yeah,' Harry lied. 'I'm alright, I'll be back with the others soon. You have fun with Ron, don't do anything I wouldn't do.' His smirk didn't reach his eyes but the dig he wouldn't have had to force earlier this year rattled his more respectably minded friend.

'Harry Potter,' Hermione chided. 'We're just talking about our prefect duties.'

'If that's what you're calling it,' Harry said, a practiced shrug forced to add to his joke. 'I'll leave you to it Mione. Have fun.'

And with that, he walked away before Hermione could stop him and was already by the door into the next carriage when Hermione huffed and the click of the compartment door shutting.

His walk had taken him much further than he'd expected.

He had to be near the end of the train now. It had been getting quieter and quieter as he'd gone but the noise and people made him need to push on. The constant movement added to the idea of going back through all of that left him feeling drained and tired, making it harder to focus.

Which only made the voice in his head louder.

Harry shook his head to dispel the voice and peered into the full, but mercifully quieter compartments. He just needed an empty one to sit in. Just for ten minutes before heading back. There was only so long he could be gone before Daphne would come looking for him and that would be humiliating.

Like vomiting in the middle of a packed stadium.

The bottom of his stomach fell out and Harry slammed his eyes shut as he crashed into the side of the train, his hand cradling him against the wall to keep himself from falling as his mind span.

You were going to kill that boy. You wanted to kill him. Because you're a murderer.

No, he wasn't. He wouldn't have killed the boy. He didn't kill the boy. They had both left that stadium alive.

But you have killed before ... Quirrell, the voice snapped. Wormtail ... If you hadn't been stopped ...

'No,' Harry moaned as he cradled his head. Forcing open his eyes, Harry could see the kids in the compartments looking around for the source of the crash.

Harry rushed forward, his search for a compartment that was empty all the more pressing. The watching eyes of the kids joining the baying crowd from the island.

Right at the end of the carriage Harry found an empty compartment and he flung himself into it. Crumbling down onto the soft seats and groaned out his relief. His hand ran down his face and he took of his glasses as his fingers hooked around the frame. Cradling his face in his hand, Harry let out shaky, shallow breaths.

He was not a murderer. The only person who had ever died because of him was someone who was trying to kill him. When he was eleven. It had been self-defence and all he'd actually done was press his hands against the teacher's skin trying to push him off. While saving the philosopher's stone from Voldemort and preventing his rise.

It wasn't like he'd deliberately killed Quirrell. It had been self-defence.

Killing Wormtail was moot too. The traitorous bastard had helped take his mother from him. Peter Pettigrew had a target on his back, it was just a matter of who got to him first. Harry had just had the first shot since Sirius' failed attempt all those years ago.

It wasn't true, whatever the voice said, were lies. That was all.

He was okay and he wasn't a murderer. He wasn't.

'You're Harry Potter,' a soft lilting voice filled the silence.

His head snapped up, reeling- screaming at him to escape but it all came to a sudden stop when he looked at the source of the voice.

Sat on the seat across from him was a thin girl with light blonde hair, holding an upside down issue of the Quibbler. Wand tucked behind her ear, she was wearing blue jeans, a bright yellow cardigan, a dark red top and green shoes with drawn on snakes. And yet, his eyes were drawn to her face where a pair of psychedelic glasses perched on her nose. She looked like a disturbed owl.

Shockingly, almost bulbous in their intensity, blue eyes stared at him curiously. No sense of awe, fear or admiration was found in the weirdly dressed girl's face. Just simple honest to Merlin, sincerity.

His heart slowed down as they sat in silence, the girl's gaze never leaving him until finally Harry found his voice.

'I'm sorry,' he said, hating how breathless it sounded. Clearing his throat and sitting upright, Harry attempted a smile. 'Didn't mean to barge in on you, I thought the compartment was empty.'

The girl folded up her magazine and looked at him some more. A gentle smile lifted her lips. 'It's okay.'

He quirked an eyebrow at her and nodded. 'Yeah, I'm Harry Potter. Who are you?'

His rudeness was met with a dreamy smile. 'I'm Luna Lovegood.'

'Nice to meet you,' Harry said, his smile a touch more genuine. 'I like your outfit.'

'Thank you,' she said absently as she inclined her head. 'My friend Ginny said the same thing. You saved her from the Basilisk in our first year.'

The smell of Basilisk blood hit him and he grimaced. 'You're mates with Ginny Weasley?'

Luna nodded happily. 'Yeah, she's lovely. She had quite the crush on you you know?'

He eased back into the cushions, trying his best not to groan. Though he had to ask. 'Had?'

'Mhmm.' Luna nodded again, fingers playing idly with the chain round her neck. 'I assume she's over you now that she's dating Dean Thomas.'

He hadn't known that and a sense of relief washed over him. Vague memories of the redhead chasing after him year after year, flashed through his mind and something in him relaxed. The last thing he needed this year was an obsessed Ginny Weasley.

Harry stared out of the window, watching the darkening countryside roll past. He wanted to ask her why she was alone, in the back of the train but decided against it. Not only did he not care but at the moment, they were one in the same. He needed to say something though, the awkward silence was beginning to take over their small compartment. Made worse by the fact that he could see Luna's reflection on the window as she continued to stare at him.

Turning back towards the witch, he gave her a tight lipped smile.

Luna was still smiling at him, not blinking.

He focused on her fiddling hand and frowned, pointing at her necklace. 'Are those corks?'

The blonde looked down, nodding. Her fingers tapping them gently as she leant in, her tone becoming a whisper. 'It's for the Nargles.'

Harry blinked at her. He'd never heard of a Nargle before and he was kinda afraid to ask. Something told him that it would lead to more questions than answers because as nice as Luna seemed, he got a sense of weird from her.

There wasn't really anywhere for him to go from there, so he just nodded.

He got the impression that if he didn't say anything, Luna would go back to her magazine and leave him to it which made it all the more tempting to stay here.

But he was starting to recognise the approaching Scottish scenery whizzing by and he knew Daphne would come looking if he didn't show up soon.

A weight pulled on his insides as he stood and he smiled half-heartedly to Luna. Her eyes followed him to the door as she smiled absently. 'Thanks for letting me sit with you Luna. It was nice meeting you.'

The blonde inclined her head. 'It was nice to meet you too Harry Potter.'

And with that, Harry checked no one was coming past and made his way back to the compartment he had left behind.

Each step harder to take than the last.

The dull background noise around him faded to even more silence as Harry allowed the crowd to take him away from the Great Hall.

He hadn't thought it possible, that his mood could get worse but that little speech Umbridge had given had sunk it to new depths. A fierce burn of fury sitting in his belly as her words rolled over and over in his brain.

Pruning certain practices huh? Like treating people who were different to you with respect and human decency? The only thing that had kept him from outright hissing were the looks of shadowy fury in half of the staff's faces. Only Snape, Grubbly-Plank and Dumbledore had seemed capable of keeping neutral expressions.

Even Sirius, who was playing up to what was expected of him just a little, had ice for eyes as the woman tried to veil the fact that the Ministry was interfering with Hogwarts.

Maybe his dad had been right about Dumbledore going to the Minister being a mistake. Had Harry known that the foolish politician would react by sic his pet spy on them he would have thought twice about telling the Headmaster everything he did.

Fifth year was going to be far more difficult than he had already expected. O.W.L.s were going to be a breeze compared to trying not to snap at Umbridge.

She said she'd wanted to get to know them all after all. Insipidly patronising as it was said, it implied her intentions well enough. He had no doubt that she would try and interrogate anyone she deemed a threat to her precious Minister.

And he now had a decent idea on what exactly his dad, Alastor and Remus had been talking about when they'd told him to keep an eye out for her.

Because he could have sworn her eyes had zeroed in on him when she'd been talking about getting to know the students. Dumbledore had kept his name out of things, that much was apparent according to heated conversations between James and the professor.

Though Harry's name only appearing in the papers as much as it usually did could have told them all that. If Rita and her ilk had known that Albus Dumbledore was ruining his standing on the word of their favourite target for gossip, Harry's face would have been on the front page every day just like Dumbledore's had been.

But that didn't mean some of the smarter Death Eaters hadn't found a way to implicate Harry into this and while Fudge had probably written it off mostly … he had been there when Harry had disappeared after being given the Triwizard Cup.

This was all so fucked up.

At least he had Quidditch this year. He'd have to check tomorrow to see who was captain. He hoped it was Angelina.

Passing through the portrait hole Harry was struck with relief as his eyes caught the familiar sights of the common room. A roaring fire already going as the crowds of students filtered towards the dorms, chattering away sleepily and excitedly as the boys and girls separated up their staircases.

Neville clapped Harry on the shoulder as they walked into the dorm. 'Welcome back to the dorm Harry.'

Harry smiled slightly as he took in the circular room. The five four poster beds, decked out in the Gryffindor colours, looked warm and soft. He made his way to one by the window, his trunk already confirming that even though he hadn't slept in his dorm bed much, it was still in the same space as usual.

'Are these bigger this year?' Harry asked as he eyed the mattress, looking over at the other boys' beds with a frown.

'Huh?' Dean said, looking away from where he was hanging the picture of his football team's roster for the year and smirked. 'Oh yeah, well if you'd spent any of your time in here last year, you'd have noticed we'd moved to double beds halfway through the year.'

Ignoring the dig at his private rooms, Harry kept measuring the bed. It was definitely bigger than the one he'd seen last year. 'Why?'

'Growth spurts mate,' Seamus said with a chuckle. 'We figured they grow on an average of our heights, with these two giants, it averages out in bigger beds. Brill ain't it?'

Seamus gestured at Ron and Dean, who were flipping him off good-naturedly.

He wanted to check out if there were any other differences to the room but he figured he could do that tomorrow. They didn't have classes until Monday, the weekend was there's.

But honestly he was too tired to care at the moment and he also flopped down on his wonderfully comfy bed. More comfortable than the bed he'd had last year somehow. Maybe it was just because he knew he wouldn't have to share and spread out?

He had never complained about sharing a bed with Daphne, though right now space from her clinginess was immensely welcome, but she was a wriggler and it'd taken him a while to get used to it.

The other four boys were chatting away lightly as Harry rubbed at his eyes and sighed contently.

Seamus chuckled and threw a pillow at him. 'Oh no you don't Potter, I was hoping you'd be back in the dorm with that Ministry woman here. I've got questions that I've been dying to ask you when your bird wasn't around.'

Harry peered up, the pillow caught deftly and thrown back into the waiting hands of the grinning Irishman. 'Do I even want to know?'

Neville shrugged as Ron and Dean shook their heads. A look of knowing on all three of their faces. Only Neville looking particularly wary.

'It's nothing bad Harry,' Seamus said, his tone placating. 'I just wanna ask some questions about last year. And your private rooms.'

He was curious now, perching up on his elbows Harry quirked an eyebrow. 'Alright Seamus, what about last year?'

'You shag Greengrass yet?' Seamus asked simply.

'Seamus!' Neville snapped, his face bright red.

'Mate, come on,' Dean said. Shaking his head at a similarly disapproving Ron.

'What?' Seamus retaliated as he gestured at Harry. 'The bloke had a private dormitory, a beautiful girlfriend who also slept there and no one to check up on them. I'd have been shagging every night! Hey!'

Pillows and other throwable objects were propelled towards the pervy git and Harry laughed as the other three boys came to Daphne's defence. Seamus dodged as many as he could before he just threw his arms up to defend his face, taking the hits.

'Alright, alright!' Seamus shouted. 'I'll let it go, like none of you are curious too! Besides, if you and your women had privacy like they had you'd have taken advantage of it too.'

Harry laughed some more at the grumpy look on his dormmate's face. He hadn't realised how much he'd missed this. Seamus was pervy as fuck but so were the rest of them and at least within the privacy of these walls they could all admit it.

What was said in the dorm, stayed in the dorm.

Besides, Seamus did have a point. He and Daphne had gotten up to all sorts in the private rooms Harry had had last year. Privacy and horny teenagers made for excellent circumstances for shagging. But he wasn't about to tell Seamus about his and Daphne's sex life.

The Irishman probably had more to tell anyway. Which Harry also didn't wanna know about. He did have a question about one thing though.

'How do you even know she was staying there?' Harry asked, keeping his amusement out of his voice. He didn't want Seamus knowing he wasn't offended and keep pressing. He'd have to ruin the mood and remind Seamus of the don't kiss and tell rule. Extensively.

'C'mon Harry,' Dean said with a grin. 'You might not have been coming to class last year but she still was. Girls talk. Then they talk to us.'

'Lavender?' Harry asked eyeing Seamus who had gone back to smirking.

Ron shook his head. 'Padma, she has Arithmancy with Daphne. She came down the night after her birthday with serious bedhead and the biggest grin on her face.'

Harry felt a little bit of warm crest his cheeks and coughed into his hand. 'Ah. And I'm guessing Tracey was there too?'

The boys shook their heads and looked over at Neville, whose face was getting redder by the minute as Ron, Seamus and Dean smirked at him.

'Nev? You didn't.' Harry actually felt a bit of irritation pang then.

'They were pressing me about Hannah!' Neville blurted out as he pointed wildly at them all. 'They'd already guessed it, I was just confirming. I didn't tell them anything.'

Harry scoffed. 'Yeah fine, just told this pervy lot that I had my girlfriend in my bed. Mate.'

'I'm sorry!' Neville replied as the others laughed. 'I cracked. Besides I've already apologised to Daphne, she forgave me.'

'Uh huh,' Harry said. A wicked smile crossing his lips and glancing at their eager audience. 'Well I haven't, you lads know what him and Hannah got up to behind the greenhouses?'

They nodded eagerly and Harry laughed as Neville threw a rolled up socks at him. Harry caught it deftly and threw it back, nailing Nev in the face.

'Shot Harry,' Ron said with a guffaw. 'But he didn't really tell us anything about you and Greengrass. Don't be too angry.'

Seamus snorted. 'Don't play all goody goody authority figure with us Mr Prefect. You told us all about what you and Padma got up to the night after the Yule Ball. Or rather what she got up- oof!'

The ginger caught the rolled up ball of socks Neville had tossed at him from the bed and in one fluid motion flung them at Seamus' chest hard enough to wind him.

'How about you tell us about you and Lavender instead,' Dean said with a chuckle as he grabbed Seamus' arm that was already cocked back to return fire. 'For the thousandth time.'

Seamus shrugged out of the grasp and passed the socks back to Harry. 'Just because I got something to tell. He's still taking things slow with Ginny Harry, you know Ron's hot sister?'

'Watch it,' Ron growled as he went to climb into his bed. 'I will kick your head in.'

'Pfft,' Seamus replied with maturely. 'Hot is hot Weasley. You wanna kick someone's head in you can start with Dean, he's the one who's gonna –oomph.'

Another tossed object to Ron, who caught it perfectly and this time beaned Seamus in the skull with a … a football?

'Where'd the ball come from?' Harry asked, looking from Neville to Ron.

Seamus was currently groaning, clutching at his head as he lay on his bed muttering something intelligible.

'Well if he will talk like that about my girlfriend …' Dean trailed off with a wink at Ron. 'Nice catch by the way Ron, you're on fire mate.'

'Thanks,' Ron said, a little bashfully. 'I will kick your arse if you treat Ginny wrong though.'

'I know,' Dean said with a light chuckle. He checked Seamus' pulse and waved his hand in front of his eyes. The downed boy only mumbled. 'Consider this a warning.'

The four boys laughed and set to getting into bed in silence.

A whole minute of changing and going to brush their teeth passed before Dean started up conversation again.

'Those were some seriously good catches though mate. You'd make a great goalie,' the tall boy said with a pointed look at Harry. 'Wouldn't you say Harry?'

'Huh?' Harry said, turning from his bedside table, his alarm set in time for his morning run. Which no one could stop him from taking alone at long last. 'Oh, yeah.'

'Thanks,' Ron said, rubbing at the back of his neck. 'I was actually thinking of trying out for the team this year? Y'know with Wood gone … we need a Keeper and I always play in goal when we play at home, even Fred and George say I'm alright.'

He'd been friends with Ron's big brothers since he got on the team and quickly learned to trust their Beater judgement. And if Ron was anywhere near as good as the Twins, then team would be unstoppable.

'Sounds good.' Harry said sincerely. He made sure to look Ron in the eye as he spoke. 'I'm not sure who's captain but like Dumbledore said, try-outs should get sorted out tomorrow. Make sure to have a word with whoever it is, cus Dean was right. Those were some great catches.'

'Yeah?' Ron asked. His face, which had gone red around the ears and slightly forlorn in small silence that had followed, brightened. 'You think I'd have a shot?'

Dean and Neville nodded eagerly as Harry smiled. 'Yeah mate, I think you've got a shot.'

'Great! Thanks mate, I'll do that.'

Harry nodded stiffly as Ron beamed all the way under his covers. 'No problem.'

The three other teens shared looks and Harry felt a little bit of the weight he'd been carrying around all day lift again.

That night he slept well for the first time in weeks.

A/N: I updated, I know, I'm shocked too.

First and foremost, thank you to the amazing Erica for her wonderful beta work, she helped me make Luna more Luna and neaten up the endless ramblings of my struggling brain.

I also want to apologise to those of you who've been waiting for this chapter for a year. I struggled immensely with this chapter and I couldn't get it out any sooner than I did due to multiple things in real life getting in the way. As well as getting back into another fandom since last August. I can't promise it won't be a long time until the next chapter either, I can only promise that I will never abandon this fic.

But I just want you to know I appreciate every fave and every follow as well as every review.

I hoped you enjoyed the chapter.

In a bit,

Dave