Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you like the conclusion with a little more romance for Harm and Mac.
He thinks his partner might be trying to kill him.
Former partner, he corrects himself quickly.
When he peeks into one of the take-out boxes, the smell of ground beef and grease is overwhelming, and it makes his stomach churn.
"You trying to give me a heart attack before I leave?"
Mac emerges from his bathroom, changed into civvies now, jeans and a V-neck pink top that Harm has seen her wear recently. He decides he likes the way she looks tonight.
"You better get used to it, flyboy," she tells him. "I don't think they have much in the way of fine dining on a carrier."
"I survived on carrier food for years," he points out. "Not on Beltway Burgers."
Mac reaches for the other take-out box. "Well, then it's a good thing that's for me, and this one's for you."
It's couscous, grilled shrimp, and arugula on a bed of fresh vegetables, and Harm is reminded of an identical dinner years ago. It was a peace offering then. He thinks it's more of a farewell offering now.
He still keeps vintage acqua minerale stocked in his fridge, for those occasions when Mac is here – he wonders just how many occasions that is anyway – and he reaches for two wine glasses and pours them each a snifter.
Unlike the previous meal, where the only place in his apartment that hadn't been torn up had been his bedroom, Harm is able to offer her a seat on the couch this time. But there's still the same feeling of familiarity as they settle in side-by-side with their feet up on the coffee table.
"To good luck," Mac says, raising her glass in a toast to him.
"To good luck," he echoes, clinking his glass against hers.
They dig in to their food, eating in silence for a few minutes, until Mac finally speaks.
"So you're heading to Pensacola."
"In 48 hours."
"44 hours and 12 minutes," she informs him, and he can't help but smile.
She takes another bite of her burger. "So is Jordan going with you to see you off?"
A shadow falls over Harm's eyes, and he looks away. "Ah…no."
"She already said good-bye?"
"Oh…she said good-bye all right," Harm says, forcing the lightness into his voice.
But his tone doesn't fool Mac, and when she looks into the depths of his eyes, she can easily read the whole story. She puts a hand on his shoulder in comfort, and he doesn't even notice that he's reaching up with his own hand to lace their fingers together.
"I'm sorry, Harm."
He shrugs. "I guess Jordan and I...we just weren't meant to last forever."
A strange expression crosses over Mac's face, as if she's remembering something unpleasant. It's there for only a fleeting moment, and then it's gone, but Harm notices.
"Mac?"
"It's nothing," she insists.
Sometimes I think it'll last forever. And sometimes I think it'll last until you decide you want him.
A couple of hours later, they still haven't moved from the couch. The empty take-out boxes and wine glasses still sit on the coffee table, the food and drink consumed long ago.
Harm feels a warmth spreading inside of him and wonders how he could possibly get buzzed on a glass of mineral water. It vaguely crosses his mind that maybe the feeling has more to do with the Marine curled up on the couch next to him.
He's stretched out on one end and Mac is stretched out on the other, their legs lying parallel alongside each other somewhere in the middle.
He doesn't even realize that he's absently rubbing his fingers against her ankle.
It feels nice. Comfortable. Intimate.
She's nestled against the cushions, and she hasn't said anything in a while. In the dim light of his living room, he can't tell if she's asleep.
"It's getting late."
Well, she's awake now, and she's gazing at him with drowsy eyes. "I should get going."
Stay.
The word is on the tip of his tongue, but he can't make it come out his mouth.
He swings his legs off the couch and offers his hand to pull her to her feet. Without letting go of each other, she takes their empty glasses to the sink, and he follows with their makeshift dinner plates. There's a soft glow from the reflections of light in the kitchen window, and they stand face-to-face, mere inches apart, their fingers still entwined.
"So I guess this is it," she says quietly.
He nods, and they stare at each other for a long time, neither wanting to be the first to say good-bye.
She finally manages a small smile. "Take care of yourself, sailor."
"You, too, Marine."
Harm lets out the breath he had been holding and wraps her in a hug. Closing his eyes, he buries his face in her neck, inhaling the scent of her skin and committing it to memory.
Mac blinks back tears as her hands skim over his shoulders and tighten around him.
Everybody who's ever meant anything to me is leaving my life.
"Mac, you understand this is something that I have to do."
"I know." She bites her lower lip and swallows the lump in her throat. "And you'll do great. I'm sure you'll show all those fighter jocks a thing or two."
He smirks. "Well, I'll try to keep them in line."
"And who's going to keep you in line?"
She tries to laugh, but her voice breaks instead, and the strength holding back her tears finally fails. "Damn it, why am I crying again?"
He simply brushes away her tears with his thumb, and he thinks he would do it forever if she needed him to.
Stay with me tonight.
"Harm."
I can't say good-bye to you. Not yet.
She brushes her lips against his in a hesitant, featherlight kiss, and then she draws back, stunned by her boldness and the resulting electricity between them.
"Harm, maybe we shouldn't. Jordan…"
He's on fire, his body humming with arousal, and he doesn't want to think about Jordan.
"She's gone, Mac," he whispers, pressing his lips to the corner of her mouth and trailing a line of soft kisses along her cheek. "She's not coming back."
"But...you and I…"
He lightly nips her ear and his breath sends a shiver down her spine. "I'm not in the JAG Corps anymore."
And if that's the final closing argument of his career, he's glad it's convincing.
She melts into him completely, and his lips crash down on hers. The kiss is hot, passionate, and heartbreaking all at the same time.
Her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him close, and his hands slip under the bottom of her shirt, lifting it slightly to stroke the bare skin beneath.
He's not even sure how they make it to the bedroom.
He ensures that she loses her shirt along the way, and now he's swiftly unbuttoning her jeans, peeling them over the curve of her hips and down her legs. The lacy things she wears underneath come off easily, and his eyes darken as he drinks in the sight of her without clothes.
She's just as focused on undressing him. Quickly, she divests him of his own shirt, running her fingers over the lean muscle that's always hidden beneath the uniform. He trembles under her touch, and when she unzips his jeans and presses herself against his hardness, he thinks he's about to come undone.
He falls back onto the bed, sinking into the pillows and pulling her with him. Gently, he rolls them over so he's on top and can gaze at the beautiful sight before him. His fingers run through her hair, and his lips brush against the sensitive hollow of her throat.
"Harm."
In all the times she's uttered his name – or yelled it or cursed it – he knows it's never sounded like that before.
Soft, sensual, and laced with desire.
For him.
The way she moves beneath him and the soft sighs that escape her lips are driving him out of his mind. His hands tenderly caress her curves, and his mouth presses heated kisses into the most intimate places.
She closes her eyes and her entire body shakes with pleasure as he thrusts himself deep inside of her, sending waves of fire straight to her core. And as their bodies come together, tangled between the sheets, they both surrender and leave each other breathless.
Hours later, just before the early morning dawn, Harm lies awake in the darkness of his bedroom. Mac is snuggled into his side, radiating warmth against him. His body is completely satiated, and he thinks that he should be asleep but he can't stop the whirlwind of thoughts from spinning inside his head.
He knows what it's like now, the sweet taste of her lips against his mouth, against his skin. But he can also taste the salt of the ocean and the gritty fumes of jet engine fuel. And he can hear the roar of the fighter jets, the wind whipping across the deck, the waves crashing against the carrier…and the perfect way her breath catches when he slides inside of her.
He stares at the ceiling, his eyes filled with conflict and his heart divided. How did he get to this point anyway? Did the laser ablation that restored his night vision also change the way he sees the beautiful Marine asleep in his bed?
And when she looks at him the way she did tonight, does she see the lawyer or the fighter pilot?
"Both."
Did he say that out loud?
"Yes."
He can feel the smile in her lips as she presses a sleepy kiss against his bare shoulder.
"I didn't mean to wake you," he says softly.
"They're both a part of you," she whispers, her breath warm against his neck. "The lawyer and the fighter pilot. They're the same man."
I know why you don't want me to fly. You're just afraid of losing me.
Maybe. And maybe I'm just afraid you'll lose yourself.
His heart swells inside his chest as he realizes what she's admitting, and he leans over to capture her lips in a long, tender kiss.
She's still hovering on the edge of sleep, and she murmurs incoherently as she drifts off again, leaving him lost in thought.
He feels like he's half complete. There's still an emptiness inside of him, the constant longing for the open sky. But she's filled a lonely hole in his heart, and there's a certain element of heartbreak in their lovemaking tonight.
And he doesn't know how to tell her.
I have so much I want to say to you, but I can't find the words.
And he wonders if saying good-bye like this is the same as saying I love you.
