Epilogue

Dear Ellen,

I don't know how to even start to say this. Right now, you're in your room, a handful of steps away from me, and yet I cannot come to you and say the words I can write. I am a coward.

Thank you for everything you have done for me. Because of you and Jo, I have memories of the years without Dean that I can cherish. With what is to come for me, I am more grateful than ever for those memories. You showed me it was safe to feel even after he was gone. Because of your love, I can love, too.

Know that where I go, I am taking a piece of you all with me. That thought makes me feel stronger.

Always,

Your Sam.

xXx

Dean,

I don't know when you'll read this. I don't know if it will bring comfort straight away or if you'll save it for a day you need it.

What I do know is that you'll leave, just like I did. I get it. You know I couldn't stay either. But don't make my mistakes. Don't leave Ellen behind completely. She's going to need you. I know you won't make the other mistakes I made because you're much stronger.

If you can do one more thing for me, make it this: don't try to save me. The Cage is too dangerous to mess with. If I get free, Lucifer will, too. You can't let that happen.

Wherever you end up next, whatever life you lead, I know it will be awesome. You're the best man I have ever known, Dean, and I have known some greats.

I want to say thank you, too. Thank you for making me feel again after Dad. Thank you for coming back even after I was such an asshole. Thank you for fighting for me so many times. Most of all, thank you for letting me go.

Your brother always,

Sam.

xXx

Cold air rasped into his lungs, and for a moment, he just lay there. Then, when his breaths were even, other things came to him. He was lying on grass. It was raining. The cold drops settled on him, soaking through his clothes to chill his skin.

He rolled over and looked up at the starry sky. The sight was a miracle but terrifying, because if he was back, that meant…

"Dammit, Dean," he groaned.

"Not so much Dean as me," a voice said.

Sam scrambled to his feet and looked at the archangel standing opposite him.

"Gabriel?" he breathed.

The archangel smiled. "The one and only."

"Why?" Sam asked.

Gabriel's lips pressed into a thin line. "Because, this time, you really have been punished."

So… What do you think? I promised Jenjoremy I'd bring him back, and I did. I cried writing this. I cried editing it. The letters were the hardest part of the whole story for me, as I had to really get into Sam's head to do it, to make the words his own. This is what he wanted to say.

This story would never have been plotted, written and posted without three amazing women. Jenjoremy, Gredelina1 and SandraEngstrom2. They have done so much for this story and I am beyond grateful.

Thank you all for reading, reviewing, and supporting the story. I appreciate it more than I can say.

Until the next story…

Clowns or Midgets xxx