Epilogue: All Things Must End

It'd been a couple days of being on the road. I woke up in the dark backseat of the Impala, tiredly trying to figure out where we were. Underneath the moonlight, the increasing number of palm trees looked familiar…

"Where are we?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. In the passenger seat, Sam had been lightly dozing but jerked awake at my question.

"Lang, Florida," Dean told me, keeping his eyes on the road.

I frowned. Why the hell were we heading back to Nowheresville?

Sam turned towards me and softly explained, "Caroline's funeral is in the morning… We thought you might want to be here."

I blinked in surprise, and my lungs stuttered at the mention of the woman. I'd been (selfishly) trying not to think about her, because there was nothing but guilt festering behind that door.

"We don't have to go," Sam said, his big hazel eyes focused on me. "But we wanted to be here so you could have the option."

Tears pooled in my eyes, and I reached forwards to pull my twin into a hug. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. I should be here."

As Sam hugged me back, Dean cut in, "Hey, I helped create this brainchild. And I don't see Sammy here driving your ass back to Florida."

I rolled my eyes, gave Sam a kiss on the cheek, and then released him. Dean expectantly tilted his head, and I obligingly kissed his cheek. I reached forwards and hugged him from behind while he drove. "You're such a dick." I grinned.

Dean blew past the Lang, Florida town sign. "I'm freakin' awesome." He smirked cockily as Sam rolled his eyes. I sucked on my index finger and then shoved it into Dean's exposed ear.

"Son of a bitch!" The car swerved a bit as Dean jerked his head away from my Wet Willy. He threw a glare at me as I cackled and returned to my seat. "God, I swear it's like you're five!"

Sam rolled his eyes and pointed out the first motel we'd stayed at as it rolled into view. I slowly lost my grin as my memories of this town came with the sight.

"Where'd Cas go?" Sam asked, throwing a glance to the backseat as we got out. I looked with him; I hadn't even noticed that our favorite angel had disappeared while we were asleep.

"He's checking out some possible cases for us to head to after…" Dean glanced at me and amended "Caroline's funeral" with "…tomorrow." He left Sam to crawl out and shut the driver's door.

Sam gave a tentative nod and then pointed towards the front desk. "I'll go get the room." He headed towards the office as Dean and I popped the trunk to unload.

It was quiet for a moment, and I figured it'd be a good time to express my gratitude. "Thank you, Dean. Really. I would've regretted not being there tomorrow."

Dean closed the trunk and leaned against his Baby. "I ain't complainin' about you thankin' me, but it really was Sam's idea."

I leaned against the car next to him and crossed my arms. "Well, thanks for being here for me, then. I haven't really thanked you for that yet. Thanks for looking after me—even when I was an ignorant bitch to you."

He scoffed. "You know I'll always take care of you, Kate. Bitchiness and all."

The edge of my lips tweaked up. "Yeah, well, thanks for swallowing your gigantic sense of pride and calling Cas. And for letting the witches help. I don't know if I would've been as willing if I'd been in your shoes."

He let out a hard sigh and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his side. "Yeah, you would've. You, and me, and Sam—we all go freaking nuts when something bad is happening to each other. There isn't a bitch-witch I wouldn't've befriended to save your asses."

I leaned my head against his shoulder. Yeah, we had the whole do-anything-for-each-other thing down pat in this family—at least when it came to our physical health. But when it came to our emotional wellbeings—that's where we sucked. And I still wasn't over the most recent emotional betrayal. "Dean, why'd you lie about Kevin?"

Dean let out a breath and pulled his arm off of me to drag it down his face. "Do we gotta do this now?"

"What?" I demanded. I needed to know. "Were you seriously going to let me believe for the rest of my life that Kevin was doing just fine somewhere?"

"Well, he was," Dean defended lamely.

I shook my head. "You left him to die, Dean. Why?"

Dean squinted his eyes, giving me an are-you-serious look. "He was a witch, Kate. He'd already targeted you before, so I figured the world would be better without him. And hey—I was right."

I clenched my jaw. "We don't kill people, Dean."

His expression remained incredulous. "You didn't bitch about it when Sam shot the other two witches last year."

I flinched as I thought back to that night. That night where those women had tortured me with brutal images of my family and—

"No," I defended, "you're right. But we didn't leave them to burn alive."

Dean's expression clouded over with guilt at that. "I feel bad about that, alright? But after this past week? God, I wish that bastard had burned to ashes." His heavy, burning gaze bore me down, but I stared back. I didn't know how to fight him on this anymore than I had. How could I convince somebody that they should feel sorry?

Sam came over, holding the room key and looking between us quizzically.

Fine. If both of my brothers were in front of me, I could let this out: "You two lied to me. The other stuff is bad, but that—the fact that you guys purposefully lied to me and pushed me away emotionally? That's what I care about. It's shit like this that makes me lose my full trust in you guys." And with that, I picked up my duffel bag, swiped the keys from Sam's hand, and headed for the room.

"Ugh, Kate!" Dean called after me. "Don't be so freakin' dramatic. Come on!"

Yeah, because that charmer was supposed to win me over. I pushed into the room and ignored both of them. My brothers stayed by the car to exchange a soft argument as I shut the door.

By the time they came back in, I was ready for bed and blatantly pretending they didn't exist for the night. I'd already shoved myself into the corner of the farthest bed and faced the wall.

As Sam locked himself in the bathroom to get ready for bed, my bed dipped, and Dean huffed a sigh. I kept myself turned away from him.

"Katie, I know I screwed up, alright?" Dean's voice was soft. I tried not to let my heart be pulled by the vulnerability in it. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was trying to stop the pain from that night from hurting you. You didn't need to know about Kevin or what I'd… done."

"Yeah, well," I brushed a hand over my weary eyes, "that sure worked out, didn't it?" My dry tone cut our conversation, and Dean stayed silent behind me.

After a minute, he quietly got off the bed. I heard the door to the room open and close.

I frowned and felt irrational tears prick my eyes. I was being a jerk to one of my favorite people in the world. But I felt slighted. And he still didn't regret trying to keep things from me.

I scrubbed my escaping tears away and forced myself into an unrestful sleep.

I was on fire. My side was flaring with agony, like the whole thing was torn right op—

My side was a gaping pit into my muscles and bone and blood. I looked down to see the little flesh remaining sag into the gushing wound. I screamed until a hand clamped hard over my mouth.

"I can make you shut up, remember?" The raspy voice was in my ear, and his rank breath assaulted my nose. "Don't make me use more than my hands again." Before I could even process his threat, he shoved a scarred, salty hand right into my side's wide wound. I shrieked as the pain exploded and tore through me.

I jerked myself awake, panting and staring at the white ceiling. It wasn't real. I'm in a motel. I'm—

"Are you OK?"

I looked over to see Dean in bed beside me, his eyes closed and face shoved in a pillow. His voice was gruff with sleep. "You haven't stopped twitching for like an hour."

"Fine," I mumbled. I dragged my hands down my face, trying to shake off the nightmare. I glanced over at the nightstand to see that it was seven in the morning. Sam was still asleep in the other bed. Even if he was an early riser, we hadn't gotten into bed until after three. Who the hell knows when Dean got into bed.

"What time is the funeral?" I asked.

"Nine," Dean grumbled back.

I knew I wasn't going to get more sleep, so I scooted down the end of the bed to get up and shower.

By the time my brothers dragged themselves out of bed, it was almost nine and I was already waiting by the door. Luckily, they were experts in throwing themselves together at the last minute—we had to be in our profession.

"You ready?" Sam asked with his worried look. I noticed Dean eyeing us as he buttoned up his suit.

I nodded and headed out to the car, leaving my brothers to follow me out.

Caroline's funeral was a small affair. A couple of women from the Sisters in Faith group had come to show their respects. Caroline only had two living family members left: her cousin (who was about my age) and her cousin's husband. The two hadn't spoken to Caroline since Gregory's death, so they had no trouble believing we were her friends. In fact, they'd been overly appreciative that some of Caroline's friends were able to make it.

Which only piled onto my guilt.

"Kate, I'm so grateful that you were such a good friend to her," her cousin told me with shining eyes. She gave me a hard, quick hug (again) before bringing her appreciative eyes back to me. "I know life had been hard for her after Gregory's death, and your friendship must've meant the world to her."

I wanted the world to conspire and kill me. I wanted the ground over Caroline's grave to rise up and swallow me down; I deserved to be in that coffin—not her. I managed a thin smile to her cousin. "She was a good friend." I excused myself; I couldn't talk anymore about how graciously kind I'd been to Caroline Jenkins.

As I strolled away from the grave with my arms around my black dress, Sam jogged up to my side. "Hey."

I kept walking in silence. He knew what I was feeling, and I knew what he was about to spew. There wasn't a point in responding.

Sam just walked alongside me, limiting his long legs to my measured pace. "Kate, you can't keep blaming yourself for this. You know Kevin was going after the women in that support group—"

"And she would've joined with or without me," I finished for him with a bitter smile. "Yeah, I know."

He pursed his lips and shoved his hands into his pockets. He wasn't sure what to say, and I didn't blame him; we'd already talked about how Kevin was responsible. There was no other way to shove the blame.

But I still carried a portion. It was the Winchester way, I guess.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sam pressed lightly.

I stared at the lines and lines of gravestones as I walked. It was sobering to know that one day we would all just be a slab, forever lost in rows upon rows. I'd almost been one of the slabs myself three days ago. "About what?"

"What… you're feeling right now, I guess." After I threw Sam a look (we'd had a lot of feelings talks lately), Sam became gently defensive. "It might help. After Jess… it helped when I shared it with you and Dean."

Gah. He's always stupidly right. And I'd felt better knowing where my grieving twin's head was at… I blew out a breath and relented. "I feel guilty that Caroline was targeted. Even if she would've been regardless, I carry blame for that. And when her cousin was consoling me about being such a good friend to her…" I shook my head and stopped as I reached a bench.

Sam offered me his waiting, sympathetic gaze as he lowered himself onto the bench.

I couldn't sit. I paced in front of him and continued, "And I hate that just after she got her life back after who knows how many goddamn years, she gets killed. She didn't get to go out peacefully, and she didn't get the life she deserved."

"I know," Sam agreed quietly.

I turned my sharp gaze on him as I continued pacing. "And I'm mad at you! And I'm mad at Dean. I'm pissed that you two didn't trust me to know about Kevin—"

"We trust you, Kate," Sam interrupted.

"You didn't trust that I would be strong enough to handle it, then," I corrected myself. "I don't give a damn if you were trying to spare my feelings—you two should've told me. And now I don't know how many things you've kept from me over the years. And I'm always going to think that you two might be hiding something from me."

"Kate, we're not—"

"That's not the point," I cut him off, stopping myself in front of him. "The point is… I can't trust you two like I used to. It's not like you kept something life-altering from me, but you damaged our relationship, Sam." I met his sorrowful gaze. "You both did. And I… I think I just need to be on my own for a bit to get over it."

Sam stood up, his eyes locking in on me. "You can work this out with us, Katie. You don't have to be on your own to come to terms the facts that we're stupid and that we screwed up." He ran his hand through his long hair and admitted, "I know I should've told you, and I regret it. I'll never keep anything from you again, I swear."

I felt bed. Here he was, basically begging me to not leave him. He hadn't even done anything truly wrong. I stepped forward and put my hand on his arm. "I'm not trying to punish you guys, Sammy. I just need some time for myself. This past year has been hellish, and I need to step away so I can get over everything." Going solo was something I'd been considering for the past few days, and now it felt just right; I didn't want to be talked out of it.

His eyes searched me, begging for a way to change my mind.

"I've been blindly reliant on you two my entire life," I said plainly. "And I've finally realized that I shouldn't be. And it's not because you two don't help me at every turn; it's just not healthy. We're not healthy. We can't be wholly reliant on each other like this."

"It's worked out OK so far," Sam defended lamely. His small smile was weak; he knew I'd already made up my mind.

I pulled him towards me and wrapped my arms around his middle. He sadly engulfed me and squeezed.

"I'm gonna come back," I promised him quietly. "I'm just going on a walkabout." I tried to memorize the way his chest felt against my cheek as he rumbled a chuckle. I wanted to remember the way his abnormally long arms could block out the whole world.

"Yeah, well, I guess I had my turn," he said, referring to his time at Stanford. He pulled away and stared down at me with serious eyes. "And you can do your thing for a bit if you promise to call every day."

I grimaced slightly. "How are we supposed to become less dependent on each other if we're still talking to each other every day?"

He looped an arm around my shoulders and raised his other up in defense. "Every other day, then. Take it or there's no way you're taking a stupid walkabout."

I rolled my eyes and kept my arm around his torso as we walked back towards the Impala. "Yeah, fine. I'll miss you guys anyways."

We were silent for a moment until Sam asked, "Where are you gonna go?"

I mulled that over. "I'm not sure. Caroline's not going to miss her Cadillac, so I think I'll swap the plates and take it out. Maybe look up some hunts. See where the wind blows me."

He gave me a worried side-eye. "I don't like the idea of you out there, alone on hunts."

"I'll stick to the mellower ones," I amended. Maybe.

He didn't believe that for a second. "Like supernatural mass-murders and psychotic poltergeists?"

"Exactly." I cheekily grinned up at him.

He shook his head fondly. "Just stay away from any witches, alright?"

I fought back a shudder. "Yeah, no worries there."

We'd neared the parking lot, and I could see Dean leaning against the Impala in his suit and shades. When he saw us getting closer to the car, he waved us along. "Let's go, twinners! We don't got all day!"

My insides were cringing at the thought of telling Dean my plans. I looked up at Sam in desperation.

He understood all too well and unwound his arm from my shoulders. "Yeah, you're alone on that one. I'll try to stop him from tying you up, but I'm not exactly against him here."

I groaned as Sam walked to the Impala. I grudgingly followed, dragging my feet like a kid. When I stopped on the opposite side of the car (I really was a kid) and Sam didn't lower himself across the driver's seat, Dean looked between us quizzically. "What?"

"Dean," I said, licking my dry lips, "I'm not… coming with you."

I couldn't see his eyes behind his shades, but the rest of his face didn't waver in the slightest. "Where the hell are you going? Caroline's cousin doesn't have a luncheon back at the freakin' mansion."

My muscles tensed further as I explained, "No, I'm… I'm gonna take some time off."

He stared at me, not getting it.

"She's going to head off on her own for a bit, Dean," Sam reiterated softly.

"Where?" Dean asked, staring back at me in confusion. "Why?"

"I just think it's time that I tried to do my own thing for a bit." I was trying really hard not to cringe.

His muscles tensed as it finally connected in his head. He leaned forwards, and it was slightly menacing. "What the hell do you two mean by 'for a bit?'"

"Just until I'm ready to come back," I said. It was becoming painful to keep my eyes on his face and not on the asphalt.

"What the hell are you talking about, Kate?" Dean demanded. He pointed to the Impala and ordered, "Get your ass in the damn car!"

His ignorant, bossy behavior fueled my anger. I glowered and said, "Dean, I need to be on my own for now. I'll come back to you guys when I feel ready for that."

He whipped his sunglasses off and stalked around the car, towards me. "Because Caroline Jenkins died?" The disdainful way he said Caroline's name pissed me off.

"No!" I met his gaze head-on, even if I did have to look up a little. "Because you're an asshole, and I can't be so fucking dependent on you anymore!"

He was furiously lost. "Where the hell is all of this coming from?"

"It's coming from the fact that I've spent my whole life blindly following your goddamn shadow, Dean!" I yelled. "And I don't trust you now! Not anymore!"

"Hey," Sam tried to cut in with a meaningful look to me.

"What do you want me to say?!" Dean lashed back. "I screwed up!"

"There's nothing to say, Dean!" I shouted back. "It's over, and I'm leaving!"

He looked at me in irate confusion. "You want me to apologize? Fine! I'm sorry! Now stop being such a freaking—"

"No!" I was clenching my fists so that I wouldn't shove him. "I want you to actually regret it! I want you to promise that you won't lie to me again, and then I want you to actually follow through!"

"I did what was best for you!"

I stabbed him with my pointing finger. "And that is why I can't trust you. No matter what you say, you're always going to do what you think is best."

He was entirely done with this conversation. "Oh, boo-hoo! I'm doing everything I can to take care of my baby sister. Cry me a goddamn river."

I shook my head. He would never understand. "Whatever, Dean. I'm done. I'm gonna split before I try to punch you." I walked away from him and grabbed my shit out of the backseat.

"Kate, stop being so freaking dramatic!" Dean pressed. As I slammed the door, he reached for my duffed bag and pulled.

"Let me go," I ground out, yanking away from him.

"No!" Dean angrily reached out, and his hands latched onto my side. Right where I'd had the thirteen rows of stitches—right where Kevin had carved into me.

Frantically, I clawed at him and dropped my bag. I gasped for air, stumbling backwards out of Dean's hands and onto the pavement. As I struggled to regain control over my brain, Sam hurried forwards. I flinched away from him, and he stopped himself from touching me.

After I could breathe again, I glanced up at my hovering brothers and grabbed my bag. I pushed myself to stand on my trembling legs.

"You don't have to go, Kate," Sam repeated softly.

I shook my head away from his words. "Yeah, I do, Sam." I tugged the bag over my shoulder and kept my eyes away from my brothers. Sam stepped forwards anyways, engulfing me in another hug. I hugged him back, loving him all the more for supporting me in everything I did.

After a moment, I stepped away. We shared a final look, and my twin reminded, "Every other day."

I nodded. "Every other day." I caught sight of Caroline's cousin and her husband walking to their car, having missed the whole scene. I could catch a ride to Caroline's (and the Cadillac I'd 'left there') if I hurried.

I looked over at Dean, and he scowled past me. Fine. I frowned and marched past him and towards the cousin. "Hey! Wait up!"

As I jogged over, Caroline's cousin looked at me in surprise. I gestured towards her car as her husband climbed inside. "Could I get a ride to Caroline's? I left my car there overnight."

"Oh, of course," she assured me. "We were just on our way over there anyways."

I gave her a grateful smile and threw my bag into the backseat. She climbed into the front, and I lowered my head into the back.

"KATE!"

I stopped and turned around to see Dean rushing towards me. He looked distraught, and I nearly caved at the sight. What the hell am I doing?

"Kate, I'm sorry," he spewed as he reached me. "If you—if you think that this is what you gotta do…" He swallowed and looked at me pleadingly. "Then… we… I just want you to know that I'm always here for you."

I gave a nod. "I just need to try being self-sufficient, Dean."

He nodded hurriedly. "Yeah, yeah, I got it. But you don't need to be self-sufficient, Katie. We'll always be here for you."

My heart drooped into my ribs. "I know."

His expression was hopeful for a split second, but then he saw that I was simply acknowledging his vow; I wasn't staying. With a pained huff, he pulled me towards him and held me in a too-tight hug. "Stay out of trouble, Katie."

I nodded against his chest and forced my tears back. "Always do."

After a moment, he choked out quietly, "I love you, kid."

The tears won. Why the hell am I doing this? I had to battle my throat to bring out the words, "I love you too, Dean."

His hug became even tighter before he slowly released me. He looked down at me and brushed away my tears with his thumbs. "I really am sorry for being such a dick."

I managed a weak smile. "You're always a dick. It's one of your endearing traits at this point."

His faint smile matched mine. "Yeah, whatever." He hesitated before dropping his hands.

I glanced back at Caroline's cousin's car. "I gotta go."

"We can give you a ride," Dean offered quickly. "To… wherever…"

I gave him a dim, parting smile and climbed into the back. "Bye, Dean."

"You'll call right?" he checked, slowly closing the door for me. I nodded with a "every other day" and pulled the door closed the rest of the way.

"Sorry," I apologized to the couple in the front seat. They assured me that it was no problem and started the engine. They said I was lucky to have people who cared so much about me.

I looked out the window to see Sam watching desolately from the Impala. Dean hadn't moved from beside my door, and his gaze locked onto me. "Every other day," I read his lips remind me seriously.

I nodded as the car pulled away.

He stared after me, hands stuffed into his suit pants' pockets. My tears never let up and neither did my brothers' stares on the car.

I don't want to do this, I thought as we turned out of the parking lot. But I felt like I had to. I felt like if I never tried to rely on myself, I would never be able to when it counted. And I needed to be better than the Winchester brothers' dependent shadow.

I needed to be Katelyn Winchester.

Just before we pulled out onto the main road, I looked back and caught a final glimpse of Sam and Dean.

I'm so sad that this story has reached its end! Thank you, everyone, for reading and supporting this story. 'Til next time!
-Alice