A/N: Hey, guys! Kind of a lousy weekend but hopefully this will get me out of my funk. Been thinking about this idea for a couple of days and thought it would be funny.

Enjoy!

Jade slammed the door to the Vega household as hard as she could. Even by Jade West standards, it was a pretty loud noise.

Despite that, a certain half-Latina didn't so much as look up from her book.

"You're late," she simply stated.

"That's it?" sighed Jade, dropping her heavy purse that landed with a thud. "That's all you have to say?"

At this point, Tori lowered her book, saving her place, and raised an eyebrow.

"Why shouldn't I be upset? You said you were going to meet me right after school." She then picked up her phone which was charging on the coffee table. "It is now almost six. I thought we'd be eating by now. I'm starving and you didn't so much as text or call. What kept you?"

Jade folded her arms defiantly.

"I don't appreciate the interrogation vibe I'm getting from this room."

Tori threw her book onto the table. Not as intimidating as she had hoped but she maintained eye contact.

"I think your girlfriend asking why she was almost stood up is a legit concern."

Jade started to notice that there was something off-putting about Tori's tone of voice. Her words sounded like she was pissed but years of knowing her made it abundant that the tan girl knew more than she was letting on. Almost like she was holding back a giggle. Cat had a similar devious look in her eyes when she tried to keep a secret only to blurt it out seconds after saying hello.

"Jaaaaade..."

The way Tori would drag out her name managed to agitate her and turn her on at the same time.

"What?" shrugged the Goth.

"It's like my dad says; he may have the evidence on somebody but there's nothing like a confession."

"Again, what?"

Tori grabbed her TV remote and plopped on the couch, closer to Jade while leaving enough space for her to join her.

"Last chance," Tori warned, pointing the remote at the screen. "Tell me why you were late."

Jade just looked to the side, ignoring the request.

Tori squinted her eyes like Clint Eastwood. Or, rather like Marty McFly's Clint Eastwood.

"I don't like being lied to Jade, and I like you not telling me things even less. But...since you gave really amazing head yesterday, I'll be generous and give you one more chance to be honest with me."

"And what are you gonna do if I refuse?" Jade teased. "Drown me out with Lady Gaga videos?"

The half-Latina made a devilish grin that made even Jade get chills up her spine.

"Oh no, just the news. You know...wanna brush up on current events."

It was then Tori selected on the most recent recording on the DVR and hit play.

The news anchor began talking.

"This Howard Scott of KRGR News. We're back to bring a little levity to today's hard hitting headlines. Amateur video sent in to us caught of a young woman getting out of her car, holding up traffic and well, you will see why."

They then cut from the studio and lo and behold, Jade was reaching into a storm drain and standing around her was a gaggle of ducks. There was a mother and six ducklings, who were quacking up a storm. Within moments, a cute little baby duckling came out from under the street in Jade's grip. She then blew on it, and wiped what dirt she could from it.

She then walked slowly across the street to get the duck family to walk out of the way of traffic.

Another reporter, narrating, commented on the video.

"This girl whom was not identified then got back into her car and traffic resumed. But that turned out to not be the last we heard from this Samaritan."

We then cut to a more shaky piece of footage. This time, Jade was helping to usher the same group of ducks toward the pond. Eventually, the mother and babies got into the water and started swimming away. Jade smiled, watching the ducklings kicking their little feet. Then she looked up, noticing she was being filmed and mouthed the word "Shit" and started running.

Tori then paused the program.

"I still don't understand how that still took so much time."

Jade huffed, "Yeah, well, they probably didn't want to admit that I was chasing their cameraman through those woods. I wanted to destroy that tape but he got away from me."

Tori sucked in both her lips, grinning like a fool.

"What, Vega?"

She pointed at Jade's stomach, playfully "I thought somebody didn't like ducks."

"I don't!" Jade protested. "They were just in the way and they wouldn't leave until they got their stupid baby back."

"And you led them to the pond?"

"I wanted to prevent future incidents of ducks on the damn road. You know, there are people who are trying to get home from work, or pick up their kids, or see their incredibly annoying girlfriends."

"Jaaaaade..."

The pale girl stomped her foot.

"Quit doing that!"

"I think Jade likes cute widdle duckies..."

"Fuck a duck!" she pointed.

Tori then pinched Jade's side "Quack!"

She balled up a fist, "Girl..."

Tori eyed the clenched hand. "Oooh, promise?"

Jade's eyes opened wide.

"Vega!?"

"I guess you're rubbing off on me," Tori winked.

"And I must be infested with your cutesy bullshit."

Jade leaned in and gave Tori a fiery kiss.

"Maybe I can rub on you instead for a while?"

Tori held out her arms. "I'd love that."

Without a moment's hesitation, the thespian pounced on the tan girl.

"Just a warning," Jade said.

"What?"

"You mention this to anybody...or so much as bring up ducks in my presence...it will be rabbit season for you for a loooong time."

Tori wrapped her hands around her girlfriend's neck.

"Deal."