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"Choice & Consequences"

Chapter 12

Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.

When Gibbs entered the living room which opened into the kitchen the room was empty.

He looked around appreciating the colors and the furniture, but his attention was caught by the big black piano in the left corner of the room in front of the glass door.

Only in that moment did Gibbs realize that there were many things that belonged to Tony's place in DC. His books and the large collection of DVDs and CDs were neatly arranged on some of the shelves.

There were photos of Tony's mom and of Tony through the years, but no photos of his years at NCIS except for a photo with him and Kate during an NCIS barbeque. They were laughing and looked so young and carefree.

He walked to the piano and saw many music sheets with notes and words written on them.

The older man knew he shouldn't read the songs Tony had written. He knew that they were private, but curiosity got the better of him.

Gibbs read pieces of lyrics and mixed feelings hit his heart.

"I left so suddenly

That I didn't have time to say goodbye

The moment is short, so short

If there is a light that pierces your heart

This is my message

Maybe one day I'll touch you

With honesty can we erase

The most demeaning and desolating misery?

How many things I did not understand

Which are as clear as falling stars

And I must tell you that it is an infinite pleasure

Carrying these heavy bags

I miss you so much my friend

and many things are left to say

always and only listen to real music

and try to understand if you can..."

Gibbs swallowed hard as he felt those words written for him.

He took another sheet.

"And true love can

hide,

get confused

but it can never get lost

Forever and ever

on the same side you will find me..."

and another one.

"If you want to go, I understand

If you leave me, I'll let you go

but if I sleep on your breast

I can't stop loving you, no.

You are wonderful in love

sensual on my heart, yes

If I feel you around me

I still ask you, your body again

your arms again

to hug me again

to love me again

let me die again

because I still love you."

Gibbs took another sheet and absentmindedly he sat down on the bench.

"I wanted to stay a little alone

to think and you know it

and I heard in silence

a voice inside me

and too many things come alive

that I thought were dead now

and who I loved so much

from the sea of silence

come back like a wave in my eyes

and what I miss

in the sea of silence

I miss you so much.

There are things in a silence

that I never expected,

I want a voice

and suddenly

you realize that silence

has the face of the things you've lost

and I feel you my love,

I feel you in my heart

you are taking back the place

you never lost,

that you never lost,

that you never lost.

And what I miss

in the sea of silence..."

"Like what you read?" Tony asked, leaning against the glass door which opened to the porch, and made Gibbs jump.

The younger man grinned as he entered the room followed by a cream-colored Labrador puppy.

"Uhm... Tony, I'm sorry.. I didn't..." Gibbs felt ashamed.

"Rule #6, Gibbs," Tony reminded him as he walked into the kitchen. "Apologizing is a sign of weakness."

"Not between, friends," Gibbs corrected, walking into the kitchen as well.

Tony frozen at those words, but didn't turn and Gibbs, who was staring at him in search of any positive reaction, released a sad sigh when he received none. After a second, the younger man took a box out of the fridge and, looking at Gibbs, asked "'Ya like grilled tuna with salad and bread?" Gibbs nodded so Tony added "I've soy sauce, or mayonaisse or a very spicy tomato sauce. Want them too?"

The grey-hair man nodded again and, taking a deep breath, asked, "Can I help you?"

"You can set the table outside and cut the bread." Tony opened a drawer. "Cutlery here. Dishes and glasses are in that cupboard," he gestured with his head.

After getting a nod from Gibbs, Tony took the slices of tuna out of the box and placed them on a dish.

The puppy was sniffing Gibbs and, when the senior agent looked down at him, he felt like the little dog didn't like him. "'Ya have a dog, huh?"

"Yep," Tony nodded as he took the plate out in the porch and put the tuna on the barbeque that he had turned on earlier. "He stays with my neighbors during the day."

"What's his name?" Gibbs asked following him outside.

"Steve like Steve McQueen," he replied and got a bark from the puppy, who was walking around and sniffing the air that smelled deliciously of grilled tuna. "Yeah, you'll get some," Tony smiled down to him. He scratched its neck and the puppy cuddled against Tony's leg.

Gibbs nodded. "What do we drink?" he asked. He felt so weird talking with Tony about normal things when they both knew that there was nothing normal in their relationship now.

"There's water, beer and non-alcoholic beer in the fridge. Choose whatever you want," Tony answered and turned the slices of tuna.

They were eating in silence while the sun was setting and coloring the sky yellow, orange, red and violet.

"It's beautiful out here," Gibbs said, looking at the panorama.

Tony took a deep breath. "A paradise." He relaxed against the back of the chair. "You want fruit, ice-cream..."

"No thanks. I'm fine." Gibbs cleaned his mouth with the napkin. "One of the best dinners I've ever had."

Tony stood up and started gathering the dishes. "Thanks, but..." he took a deep breath, "Gibbs, you don't need to be so nice." He looked his former boss straight in the eyes. "We both know that we're mad at each other," he added and walked to the kitchen, leaving Gibbs speechless.

He was not used to this straight-to-the-point DiNozzo. The man that Gibbs knew would have faked one of his best smiles, would have cracked joke after joke to lighten the tension and certainly would have talked non-stop, trying to explain and justify himself.

The old Tony would have looked for Gibbs' approval and forgiveness, but this Tony was different and Gibbs didn't know how to behave around him.

Tony and Gibbs were sitting on two chaise lounges, drinking a beer and silently admiring the stars high in the black sky while listening to the rhythmic lapping of the waves.

Gibbs was waiting for Tony to start talking as he used to when he was his SFA, but the younger man seemed extremely comfortable and at ease with the silence, while Gibbs felt very nervous.

Tony could sense Gibbs' discomfort and he had to admit that he liked it. In the past he'd been the one who fidgeted in his chair and who would have talked first to break the tension, but not now. Since he arrived in Hawaii, the younger man felt relaxed and in control of his life. Though he had much more responsibility now, Tony loved his new role and his new life. Now he didn't have to fake smiles or always tolerate his boss and his colleagues' bad mood and stupid jokes... and Gibbs' headslaps.

The young team leader looked at his former boss out of the corner of his eye. Gibbs is fidgeting! Tony grinned.

Gibbs sighed loudly. "I heard the Pearl office's case closure rate has never been so high," he said without looking at Tony.

"Really?" Tony asked, surprised. "I didn't check it," he added without looking at Gibbs. "Did you?"

"Yep."

Silence and more beer.

"I left McGee in charge."

"So the team is not on vacation."

"Nope," Gibbs cleared his throat.

It seemed more a battle of wills than a conversation.

"We're investigating a complicated case," Gibbs added.

"The mole hunt?" Tony asked.

Gibbs turned suddenly. "How do you know that?"

"I'm a Team Leader, Gibbs." Tony turned slowly and regaled him with his famous half-smile.

"Yeah," Gibbs sighed. "You are... sorry."

"Any suspects?" Tony asked, looking back at the ocean as Gibbs shook his head. "Did McGee already hack all the DC Agents' PCs?"

Gibbs chuckled and shook his head at Tony's question. The younger man knew him so well that he already knew he would have involved McGee despite the Director's order.

He turned and saw Tony grinning back at him. "'Cause you asked him to help you, didn't you?"

"It's against Vance's order," Gibbs replied with his best poker face.

"And since when did that stop you?"

"Right," Gibbs nodded and finished his beer. "You? Any suspects?" Gibbs asked and was surprised by Tony's troubled look. "Tony?" he pressed.

DiNozzo took a deep breath. "Maybe."

"What does 'maybe' mean, DiNozzo?!" Gibbs shifted on the chaise longue so he was facing his former SFA.

"Maybe means 'maybe', Gibbs!"

"Tony..."

"Save the glare, Gibbs. It doesn't work here," Tony snapped.

"Did you investigate alone?" the older man changed tactics.

"Sure. I'm not as stupid with the computer as you think."

"Never thought that."

"Really?" Tony raised one of his eyebrows. "Nice to know."

"Tony," Gibbs started but he immediately stopped. "I... you..." he took a deep breath as he saw Tony looking at him. "I've talked with Ducky and..."

"And he told you to talk to me and that's why you're here." DiNozzo paused. "Otherwise the perfect Gibbs would never stoop to my level, right?" his eyes filled with anger and pain.

That was a bad and unexpected punch below the belt for Gibbs. He looked at his former SFA, speechless.

Tony stood up abruptly. "Forget about it, Gibbs," he said and walked towards the ocean followed by his dog.

Gibbs stood up as well, but didn't follow him. He stayed on the porch debating what he needed to do to regain Tony's trust and friendship. If it's still possible...

NCIS HQ - Washington, DC

"Where is Gibbs?" Ziva startled McGee.

The SFA jumped on his seat. "I..."

"Nervous, McGee?" she grinned as she sat down on her chair.

"No, I was just focused on my job," he replied, annoyed.

"Job? What job?" she pushed, staring at him. "Do we have a new case?"

Yeah... a secret case I shouldn't know about and I can't tell you about, McGee thought. What am I gonna tell her?

The SFA, who was now sitting at Tony's former desk, looked around and noticed DiNozzo's Mighty Mouse stapler in the corner. He grinned, remembering Tony's words. "The SFA's job is very important and demanding. There's a lot more than just working cases, Ziva," he replied, trying to sound confident and authoritative.

"McGee, you are not good at impersonating Tony," Ziva teased as she opened a file. Then she pierced him with her best Mossad look and added very slowly, "I know for sure that you are hiding something and I will find out about it… promise," she winked.

McGee gulped, showing all his discomfort.

The phone rang on his desk. Saved by the bell! He thought as he answered.

"Special Agent McGee... Oh! Boss... He's home, I guess. It's very late here... yes... yes... not yet... really?! And what..." he took a deep breath and nodded, though Gibbs couldn't see him. "On it, boss!... Sure... and tell To..." he stopped. Gibbs had already ended the call.

"Gibbs?" asked Ziva and McGee nodded. "What did he want?"

"Ducky."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Tim replied, sotto voce. He looked at his colleague. "It's very late, Ziva. I'm going home and you better do the same," he added as he stood up and quickly left the room.

Ziva frowned at his sudden change of mood but didn't waste time thinking about it. She quickly grabbed her bag and left the bullpen.

As he reached his car in the parking lot, McGee felt tired but, above all, he felt disappointed with himself for not being as confident and professional as Tony was when he was their SFA, and with Gibbs for treating him like the usual probie and not his SiC.

I guess this is how Tony felt every time Gibbs demeaned him in front of other agents or even strangers. Tim thought as he drove towards home. Gibbs sounded very nervous. I wonder what's happening in Pearl...

TBC

NB: songs lyrics are Italian songs ;)

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