This is my first fanficton, and I hope it's okay. I don't know where the idea came from but it's obviously not meant to be taken seriously! Morgan and Reid are quite OOC, but this is a comedy after all. Kinda M/R, it depends how you interpret it. Enjoy!

Despite Rossi waving the white flag of forgiveness, the prank war was not over.

After Morgan had turned on his iPod and been treated to Reid's shrill, shrieking voice instead of the music he usually listened to, yes, he had retaliated. He had switched the kid's sugar with salt and ruined his morning coffee. Reid was furious, JJ guilt-tripped Morgan into replacing the salty coffee, and the whole team made both men swear the prank war was over and done with.

But Reid had been incredibly dishonest and done something completely inexcusable. Something so heinous that Morgan had to resurrect the war just to put Spencer Reid back in his place.

It had take Morgan three weeks to figure out what Reid had done. Why, despite slogging it out in the gym, he was gaining weight and loosing his prized muscle mass. That's when he took a closer look at his protein power, and realised Reid had stealthily replaced it with high-calorie vanilla Ensure.

No, Reid needed to be taught that messing with a man's supplements was one step too far.

Morgan had spent the next few days thinking of the perfect prank - no - payback. It had to be more severe than a little joke. It came to him as he walked into the kitchen and saw Emily sneaking up behind their youngest team member as he made a cup of coffee. She poked him in the side and he gasped, dropping his mug and producing some involuntary spasm that half resembled a seizure.

"Ticklish?" Emily asked, her grin was devilish. Reid shot her an unimpressed look and went back to making his coffee.

Morgan stood in the doorway, eyes narrowed on his target.

The next day Morgan's plan came to fruition.

"Coffee!" He called, entering the bullpen with five Grande Starbucks Latte's and one Venti sugar-coffee-syrup concoction for Reid. Morgan divvied out the drinks and Reid took his with a warm smile, he thought it was his lucky day.

"Drink up, kid." Morgan said.

Let's play.

Reid finished his coffee and moved to the case room to work on his map. Morgan took a seat at the desk and watched him closely, under the guise of 'completing paperwork'. Reid had a bad habit of getting so absorbed in his work that he practically forgot to breathe; Morgan hoped it was one of those days. He waited until Reid stepped back, placed his marker on the desk and was just about to excuse himself, before he spoke up.

"Can you explain this to me?"

Morgan produced a book of maths problems and pointed to the longest quadratic equation on the page. "I don't get it."

In typical Reid fashion, the kid spend about half a second working it out and then launched into a painful lecture about how to go about solving it.

Morgan really couldn't care less, but he pretended to be interested long enough for Reid to start shifting from foot to foot. Then he abruptly closed the book and beat Reid to the door, locking it, and standing in front of it to form a human barrier.

"What are you doing?" Reid asked, confused. He didn't exactly sound worried. Yet.

"I've gained six pounds, Reid." Morgan said softly. "Why do you think that is?"

Reid gulped. "Um..."

"Um.. Um.." Morgan mimicked. "I've lost 3% muscle tone and my body fat percentage is up 2.2%!"

Morgan pushed away from the door and moved towards Reid. Reid took small steps back until his butt hit the desk.

"Erm.. sorry."

"You will be!"

"What are you going to do?" Now Reid sounded nervous.

Morgan extended his pointer finger and poked Reid in the side. Reid wriggled away and tried to escape, but Morgan seized him around the waist and wrestled him to the floor.

"Say 'Derek Morgan is the Prank War King'."

"Never. You messed with my coffee!"

"Have it your way."

Morgan grabbed Spencer under the arms and dug his fingers in. Spencer let out an inhuman shriek and tried to fight Morgan with absolute failure.

"Ticklish?" Morgan taunted.

"St-t-AHAHAHA!" Spencer screeched.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Morgan stopped for a second, just to let Reid believe the assault was over before digging his fingers further into Reid's underarms.

"Say it!"

Spencer was laughing so hard he felt tears start down his face. He wasn't having any fun though and if Morgan didn't get off him soon he was going to pee himself.

"Mor...gan!" He managed. "Gotta.. go..."

Morgan stopped again. "What was that? Surrender yet?"

"I have to pee!" Reid screamed pathetically.

"Oh, I know." Morgan said evilly. He moved his fingers to Spencer's stomach and dug them in below his belly button. "Alllll that coffee you drank. Drip... drip..."

Reid tried to wriggle away, but ended up holding the front of his pants while trying to kick Morgan in the balls.

"St-st-AHHHHH-p!"

"Say it!" Morgan demanded, he let Reid catch his breath.

"Derek Morgan is the... prank wa-AHHHH!"

Morgan moved his fingers to Reid's sides. "Drip.. drip.. drip.." He taunted. 'Hey kid, ever been to Niagra Falls? All that water pouring down... can you picture it?" Morgan mimicked the sound with his mouth until he noticed the stain spreading across Reid's pants.

'Oh no, should I stop?"

Reid nodded profusely and squeaked something of a reply.

Morgan waited until Reid's pants were sufficiently saturated before stopping. Reid lay on the floor with a red face that Morgan wasn't sure was embarrassment of fury, until Morgan grabbed his arms and got him up.

"Say it." He repeated, holding him in a headlock.

"Derek Morgan in the Prank War King!" Reid howled.

"I will accept your defeat." Morgan said. "Prank War over. I win. You lose."

Reid crab walked over to the door, peering down the corridor to make sure no one would see him. Then he turned and pointed at Morgan.

"NO! THIS IS NOT OVER DEREK MORGAN! THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!"

Oh, Reid was maaad.

Morgan got a just little worried.

JJ nearly got run down by Reid in the hallway. She looked him up and down and made a face. "Um, mind if I ask what happened?"

Reid threw his arm towards the case room and all but screamed, "DEREK MORGAN IS NOT GOING TO KNOW WHAT HIT HIM! YOU CAN TELL HIM I AM GOING TO CRUSH HIM LIKE A TINY BUG. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD 'PAYBACK'!"

JJ stood confused; slightly concerned, and said nothing. "On second thought, I don't want to know."

She pat Reid's shoulder and turned back towards her office.

Reid saw Morgan poke his head out of the case room. "I KNOW EXACTLY HOW I'M GOING TO GET YOU BACK DEREK MORGAN... AFTER I CHANGE MY PANTS!"

Morgan watched Reid disappear into the men's room, then bolted for his desk. He took all his belongings and shoved them into his drawers, locking them safely away, then hid the keys deep in his pocket. He then changed the password on his computer and cellphone, and lastly, called Garcia and told her that under no circumstances was Pretty Boy to have access to any of his information.

"What did you do to him?" Garcia asked.

"Nothing. Not my fault the kid's not potty trained."

Garcia tutted. "Don't mess with him, Morgan." She warned.

"As if I'm scared of that kid." Morgan barked down the phone.

"Oh, Morgan. Though he be but little, he is fierce. You know what they say about MIT graduates. Just don't-"

The line clicked dead.

Morgan had an ominous feeling that someone was watching him. He could feel eyes burning into the back of his neck.

He spun around.

No one. The bullpen was completely empty.

Reid stood outside Rossi's office, looking down at Morgan. In one hand, he had his go-bag. In the other, a small container of superglue and a bag of fluorescent pink rhinestones.

"Wheels up in 30!" Hotch called from his office.

Reid eyed Morgan's big bald head and smiled. He really hoped they were sharing a room.

The END, for now. I might do a sequel? Reviews are love :)