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Thanks to my girls, my sister and HeartforTwilight!

Chapter 32

Edward and I just sat there looking at each other, trying to sort out our thoughts without showing any outside fear.

Apparently, I failed because in the next second, he was telling our parents to get out.

"Edward, calm down and stop yelling." I turned to the parents, who all had varying looks of concern on their faces and said, "Can you guys please give us a minute? We need to talk about this privately and we'll let you know what's going on as soon as we figure it out."

One by one they came over and loved on me before heading out to the waiting room.

I asked my sweet, scared husband to come hug me and when he did, the tears started falling.

"I'm so scared, Edward. I don't know what to do but I don't want a c-section, I'm petrified something will go wrong."

He squeezed me tighter and said, "I'm scared, too and I'm going to give you my thoughts, but you need to be the one to make the final choice, kitten. You're going to be doing all the work one way or the next and I'll support you no matter what."

Nodding for him to continue he told me, "I think you can do this the old fashioned way, baby, I really think you can. Do you feel up to trying?"

"I'd rather try and be told that a c-section has to happen over not trying and going right into surgery. I need to try."

"Then we'll try. Let me go get the doctor and we'll go from there."

He gave me a kiss and high tailed it out of the room, wanting to get this moving as quickly as I did.

Within the next few minutes, there was chaos surrounding me. There were a few nurses in now, instead of the one, and I had two surgeons that had joined my doctor to be of assistance if needed. I was told how big of a delivery this would be; no one had ever delivered a breech baby this way, in this hospital, and they wanted everyone on hand.

My nurse, Steph, walked over and asked if we minded her sticking around. She was, technically, off duty but had been with us for the last fifteen and a half hours and wanted to see this through. She'd been amazing the entire time and we were both feeling more at ease knowing she'd be there holding my other hand.

"Now, Bella, what we are going to do is have you start pushing. Your contractions are right where they need to be and she's telling us that she's ready to meet you, ok? Once your body gets her out to a certain point, we're going to move you to an OR just in case we have to perform a c-section. It's just a precaution and we're not expecting it; but we will be prepared. Do you guys have any questions?"

"I, uh, I can still feel just about everything. Is there anything we can do about that?"

"I'm not sure, let me go talk to Dr. McCoy and see what he suggests."

Dr. McCoy was on his way in, having heard what we were about to attempt and said, "If the epidural didn't take, there's not much we can do with it. I'm going to leave it in because it is taking away the contraction pain and you don't need to be any more uncomfortable than you already are. I have a suggestion but it's not going to feel great and I'm not sure how well it'll work."

"You can just spit it out, doc. What are you thinking?"

"I can insert, with a very small needle, lidocaine into the outer and inner walls to help with the pain of stretching and ripping that will occur because of the baby's position."

I felt myself getting slightly lightheaded at that thought.

"Hold on, you want to stick a needle…there? Oh, lord. I need to sit."

Edward was having sympathy pains apparently and couldn't fathom needles in that area. Me, however, I was game. "Anything to help minimize the pain; if it works, great, if it doesn't…we tried. Let's do it."

"Ok, I've got the supplies so let's do this."

Edward elected to stay by my head, not wanting to see this particular procedure.

He squeezed my hand harder with every one of my gasps and winces. Because, let's be honest, this was not the most comfortable thing to go through.

Dr. McCoy had just finished when I felt a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I tried to fight it, seeing as though I wasn't going to be allowed to get up and use the restroom, when Edward had to go and open his big mouth.

"Uh, kitten, are you feeling ok? You're all blushed out and squeezing your legs all funny."

Hitting him with a sharp glare did nothing and he kept prodding me for an answer.

Steph spoke up then, "Bella? Do you feel like you need to go to the bathroom? Because you have a catheter in and shouldn't be feeling an urge; so, if you are, you're probably ready to get pushing."

Oh, holy mother. I'm not sure I can do this.

The doctors all got into position in front of me, half of my bed disappeared and I was told to push with the next contraction. Seeing as though I couldn't feel my contractions, I placed my hand on my stomach and waited for the tightness. I held my hand up when I felt it, Steph took one leg and Edward took the other and I pushed as hard as I could, just to come falling back to the bed feeling like I'd done nothing.

"It'll take time, Bella, don't get discouraged, ok?" I knew Steph was right, but it didn't make me feel any better. Wasn't this supposed to go quickly? All the TV and movies had it go so fast. Maybe she'll come on the next push.

ooooo

I'd been pushing continuously for over two hours when the doctor told me to stop.

Clearly, he had lost his mind because there was no stopping the need to push. So either he could stick his hand up there and stop it, or he could screw off; this baby needed to come out NOW.

The bed was lifted back into it's original position and we started moving.

"Where are we going?" I managed to huff out; breathing while trying not to push was almost impossible.

"We're headed to the OR, sweetheart. So far, things have been going just fine, but we'd like to get you prepped just in case your little miss decides to stop helping. Now, I know we're asking the impossible by asking you not to push, but it's very important that you don't. While we're moving you, we can't see what's going on and the last thing we want is for you or Emelia to get hurt."

She looked at me with pure sympathy, knowing this was going to be a very difficult thing, but I nodded and tried to resist the urge that was raging through my body.

It didn't take much time to get situated in the OR and, I could have sworn I saw my mother in the hallway trying to be a ninja, but I didn't have time to ponder because I was finally able to start pushing again.

It was sweet relief.

Sometime during the third hour of pushing, I started having trouble breathing and I started to panic. Edward leaned over me and tried to help me control my heartrate, having had experience with this while in Iceland.

Dr. McCoy, however, asked him to step aside and allow him to do his job.

They were telling me to push, trying to get my attention, but I was just done. I heard yells for crash carts and some kind of pill for my tongue, but all I could think about was how good it felt to just lay there and relax.

Until I felt all kinds of cold water hitting my face.

What the hell, man?

I slowly opened my eyes and came face to face with Dr. McCoy, then Edward who looked as though he'd been crying.

"What's going on? Why are you so upset?" I felt weak even asking those simple questions.

"Kitten, listen to me. I need you to stay awake; don't try to sleep right now, ok? Emelia is having some trouble and we need to get her out. You're almost there, baby, they can see all of her beautiful hair. I need you to focus on me and we'll get through this."

For the next thirty minutes I gave all I had left and pushed until they told me to stop. They reached in a slowly brought out her little legs, then her body, followed by each arm until finally her head came out. There was an incredible rush of relief until I looked up at the red clock counting the seconds since Emelia had been with us.

Why can't I hear her crying?

Panicked, I looked to Edward, who had his eyes locked on our girl. I couldn't see anything and I couldn't hear anything. It was the longest minute of my life.

They were yelling out APGAR numbers, things I didn't understand, but then I heard it.

A little screech, a little whimper and then a full out baby cry.

I sagged in relief, sobbing uncontrollably.

Edward leaned over and started kissing all over my face, telling me how much he loved me and how he was so proud of me.

Our bubble was momentarily popped when the doctor said, "Bella, I need to finish you up, you're not quite done yet. You've got six tears that I need to stich up and it's going to take about a half an hour. Emelia is going to need to eat, Edward would you like to go with the nurses and get her cleaned up and fed?"

"No, I'm not leaving Bella. We've got both mothers out there that will happily take our little girl until her mother is ready. I need to stay in here."

The door was propped open as they were moving Emelia and we saw Esme come out of nowhere. I have no idea how she got passed the locked doors, but she did, and we heard, "Don't worry about a thing, Bella. I've got our girl and I'll make sure all is well until you're ready for her. Just relax and take a breath."

At first I was angry. I didn't ask for help, I didn't ask her to do that and maybe I wanted to be the first one to feed my daughter. Why aren't they giving her to me?

Noticing I was starting to lose it, though not understanding why, Edward thanked his mother and then put his attention back on me.

"Baby, what's going on? Are you in pain?"

"Yes, I'm in pain! I can feel every single stich that's being made, I'm exhausted and no one is giving me my child! Did anyone think to ask me what I wanted? Or are you and your mother the only ones getting to make decisions? How dare you let someone else feed her before I've even held her?"

I was fuming by this point, out of control in my rage.

My doctor looked up at me, concern in his eyes and said, "What you're feeling right now is the loss of all those hormones that had taken residence in your body while you were pregnant. As soon as Emelia and the placenta were born, the hormones immediately leave your system. It can take a while for your body to level out. As for Emelia, I'm sorry that I didn't ask you if you wanted to feed her; she was in need of food and we reacted. That was my fault and I hope you can forgive me. Let me finish you up and we'll get you to your baby as fast as possible."

His words might have made sense, but they didn't calm the beast. I was angry and upset and that wasn't going to be changing any time soon.

Edward did his best to rub my hand and offer silent support, knowing I'd probably rip his head off no matter what he said.

This was the worst feeling.

ooooo

Being taken to my room was an experience. Every bump hurt, it was cold in the hospital, and I was bombarded with family as soon as we got into our room.

Yet, I still hadn't been handed my girl.

Edward waited for me to be situated then walked over to the little plastic box that was holding her. He looked at me with pure joy written all over his face before turning back to her, lifting her little pink self and walking her to me.

She was amazing.

Beautiful.

Perfect.

I was in love.

Emelia Lucy Cullen

June 20th, 2009

7lbs 1oz, 20in

ooooo

She's here!

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