AN: What's up? It's another quarantine chapter!

Happy Easter! Definitely the weirdest Easter I've experienced in my lifetime, but not a bad one. Hope it's good for everyone out there!

So this is the chapter that I've been trying to get to this whole time. FINALLY. This is the one I've been trying to write so that I could stop posting for a bit and stockpile a huge amount of writing and then have enough writing to post regularly. But now that it's quarantine season, maybe I'll be able to do that sooner rather than later. After all, I have consistently posted for a month now! Go me!

I've had several reviews lately that have asked me where I'm going with this and how long I intend to keep it going. I could totally stop writing at this chapter and have my story be done. I'm not done, but it could end here. You could stop reading here for a while. It's a suitable ending, should you choose it. But like I said eons ago, I planned 100 different Open When letters for this at the outset and a part of me really wants to reach that 100 goal. Which may very well take years, but who knows... I always like coming back to fictional worlds that I love. This story is something that I always love revisiting. So, I intend to continue when and as I can.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Aside from me getting rid of Flynn a few chapters ago, I think this is the one you've all been waiting for.

Read, Review, and Enjoy! :)

Open When...

May

I knocked on Freddie's door for the third time, shifting from foot to foot, impatience setting in.

I picked at the fresh polish on my nails. Nail polish is and will always be my enemy, no matter how hard Carly tries to push it on me. She had instructed me to go to her favourite nail studio and get a manicure. I asked her why I would do that before she got her. She told me it was because she was going to arrive just in time for Spencer's big night and I needed to be ready before then. Of course, she'd have fabulous nails upon arrival.

Freddie opened his apartment door and looked me over. I did the same to him and groaned.

"Are you seriously not ready?" I asked and pushed past him into the apartment.

"Hi, Sam. Come in, please, Sam. It's nice to see you. How're you doing?"

I rolled my eyes. "Do you need help getting ready?"

"I just got home from work," he said and ran a hand through his hair. "Had to take a shower."

So that explained the towel. Freddie snagged a few summer jobs this year. He didn't want to rely on his mom's money too much, so he opted to work his ass off instead. We still had our Great Wolf Lodge jobs from last year, but he was also working at a technology shop, and a tour company. Today was a tour day. And I didn't blame him for needing a shower after being in the sun all day, but we also had to leave and meet up with Carly and Gibby soon.

Spencer was finally having an art show. He'd sold a sculpture for an insane amount of money last month, which led to a curator seeing his work and giving him the opportunity to showcase his art at a gallery. After years of shooting toward something like this, his work had finally paid off.

"You're slow," I said and sunk down onto the couch.

"Got home late. I feel awful. But, hey, at least you're ready."

"Is that shade, Benson?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

His naked torso appeared above me. I hadn't seen him snake over so quickly.

"Only if you can't handle it."

I smirked. "Okay, what the hell does that mean?"

He shook his head and began walking back to his room. I watched his hips sway, the towel tied precariously around him, showing the top of his butt. The last time I saw this view was... I flushed and turned away.

I looked down at my nails again. The seafoam green matched the dress that Carly had picked out for me. It was not something I'd usually wear. It was lacy and flowy, with full sleeves that ended in bells, and scalloping along the V of the chest. It hit just above my knee and hemmed higher when I spun. Carly loved it. She sent me the link and said it would be perfect for me. So I went and found it in store with Melanie, tried it on, and kind of agreed.

So here I was in a super girly dress, feeling pretty damn confident. And I liked it.

"Hey Sam," Freddie called. "I'm in need of an opinion."

"So you do need help getting ready!" I yelled back and laughed.

I got up from the couch, straightened my dress, and walked to his room. He stood facing his bed and I tried not to marvel at the muscles tensing across his back. I'd always wondered when the little nerd had started working out, I'd just never asked him. Three pairs of pants and two shirts laid on his bed. I stepped up beside him and felt wholly overdressed compared to him in just boxers.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"Of what?"

"These options. What should I wear?"

"Why didn't you plan this before? We have to leave in like, 10 minutes."

"I thought I'd have time, but I got off late, and there was a surprising amount of traffic for -"

"Chill. I don't need excuses, I just... It's odd when you're not prepared."

"I know." He sighed.

I bit my lip. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his eyes. "I'm just tired."

"Because you're working yourself to death. You should drop one of the jobs. Come work more with me."

"They over-hired at Great Wolf. I wasn't going to get as many hours, that's why I applied to other things. I didn't expect to get both, but I didn't want to turn it down because I needed the money."

I nodded and sat down on his bed. I was familiar with the money struggle. I was trying to figure out a way to make extra cash as well. Great Wolf Lodge paid pretty decently, but he was right, there weren't as many hours as last year. I was hopeful that would change once it got busier during the summer, but I wasn't certain. They had hired a ton of new staff.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I get that and it sucks, but it's not worth killing yourself over."

"I know," he said and sat down next to me, on top of a pair of jeans. "And it's not worth ruining someone's big moment, either."

"You're not ruining Spencer's moment," I said and laid a hand on his arm. "I'm sure he probably expects me to be a bit late. We'll just pretend that I was the holdup."

Freddie shook his head and stood again. "I'm not going to blame you for something you didn't do." Pause. "What's your pick?"

I looked over his choices. He could pull off any of the looks, I was sure, just mattered which one suited the event.

"Jeans, which you'll cuff a little," I said, raised my eyebrows and pointed at his feet. "This maroon button up tucked in, and a belt."

His eyes scanned the items I'd pointed out. Then, he smiled, nodded a thanks, gathered them, and headed into the bathroom.

I sat for a moment, drumming my fingers against the bed. I realized he wasn't immediately going to come out after he'd been in there longer than a minute. Probably had to fix his hair and brush his teeth. So I stood and started walking around his room. Much like myself, he hadn't unpacked several of his school boxes. There wasn't really a need to do so. From what I could tell, there was only one box he had dug into. I walked up to it and crouched, curious about the contents. "Misc." was written on the side.

And maybe it was ridiculously nosey and maybe I was bored, but I peered into the box and started digging. Miscellaneous turned out to mostly be papers. Some were school related, others posters or photographs. There was also a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird, a tiny sculpture of the Seattle Space Needle, and an MIT flag. Satisfied that miscellaneous wasn't anything weird, I started closing up the box when I spotted something tucked against one of the sides. I pulled it out.

A red envelope.

"Open When... You Realize I Love You."

My heart skipped a beat. I gasped and dropped the letter. I glanced back at the bathroom door, still closed, and picked up the red envelope. There's no way that this was meant to be for me, but at the same time, there's no way it could be for anyone else when it was identical to the letters I'd been reading for this whole year.

I tore into it.

My name was scrawled at the top of the letter in Freddie's neat printing. And like I was a character in a lame romance novel, my heart beat faster than I'd ever felt before. I could hear it in my ears. My whole body tingling, anticipating the next words.

"Dear Sam,

"The envelope says it all. I love you. And as I write those words, my hand is shaking because I have no idea how you'll take them. Please know that I write this with the best intentions. I have never felt something more pure and genuine than this.

"We've grown so close over this past year and I cannot see that as anything but a good thing. Working with you this summer has been one of the best experiences of my life. I found myself falling in love with you on our drives to and from work. I fell in love with your sass. I fell in love when you'd meet my eyes across the water park. I fell in love with your daring nature, the dares where you'd make me to go down slides backwards or bet me I couldn't make it across the lily pad crossing. I fell in love with your body in that red bikini. I fell in love with your mischievous grin. I fell in love with the way you sang along to the radio, read me passages of books you were reading, told me I was a dork, put on a smile even when you were moody or something was wrong, trusted me enough to let me into your life. I could go on.

"The bottom line is, I love you. And I'm terrified for you to know, but if you've realized that I do love you, then maybe I have no reason to be scared. Maybe something happened that allowed for you to love me too.

"This is the last letter I've written for this box. It sums up everything I've put into creating this for you. I've done this because I love you and I don't expect you to be grateful for that or love me because I've done this. But this is where I'm coming from. You are so special to me and you deserve to be lifted up. Forever.

"With all my love,

"Freddie"

I stared at the words and read them over and over seven times. Freddie loves me. Or, at least he did when he made me that box. But then, he never included this letter in with the others. I started my 8th reread of the letter when I heard the bathroom door click open. I was kneeling on the floor, ripped red envelope scattered around me. I didn't have time to hide and pretend, so I didn't. Instead, I stood and turned around.

Freddie took a few steps back into his room, before noticing where I was and what I was holding. His brows furrowed for a moment. Then, connection hit.

"Sam." Was the only word that came out of his mouth.

"You love me." I said.

His face was blank, his cheeks flushed. His eyes darted around as if he couldn't quite think of what to say. I watched as his features changed all at once, as determination set in. He strode toward me, crossing our distance easily. His hands came up and cradled my face, and suddenly his lips were on mine. I dropped the letter.

"Yes," he said when he pulled back. "I love you."

I stood there trying to figure him out.

"Why?"

"Why?" he asked. A side of his lips quirked. His thumb ran along my jawline. "Seriously?"

I stepped back. Confusion masked what was quite possibly one of the hottest moments of my life. His intensity as he strolled toward me and that kiss had made my head spin. But it also felt so familiar and I knew exactly how that had ended the last time.

"Why do you love me? Why do you think this would work?" I asked him, knowing that he probably didn't have the answer.

"Sam, I could stand here and tell you all the things I love about you and you would deflect all of them. You have the hardest time accepting that people like you, let alone love you, and it's incredibly frustrating. But I get it. I get it. I know you and I knew as I was writing that letter that I could never ever give it to your, but I did -"

"Then why did you?"

"What?"

"Why did you write the letter?"

"Because I had to!" The frustration he spoke of bubbled over. "I had to write this. I had to get it out of my system, but that didn't work. I can't get you out of my system because you're not meant to be out of it."

"How do you know that? How do you know where I'm meant to be? What if it doesn't work out and I lose the only person who actually believes in me?"

"Is that what you're afraid of?" He reached out to me, fingers brushing under my chin, lifting it up, and making me look him in the eye. "Sam, I promise you that I'm not going anywhere. I don't know the future, but I know the past and I know that I didn't go anywhere the last time. If anything, we're closer now than we ever have been. And I swear, even if something unforeseeable ever happened, I would still always believe in you."

I closed my eyes. I knew him. I knew everything he said was true. I knew he was, quite possibly, the kindest soul on this planet, but nothing in my life proved to me that love actually lasted. And I'd rather love Freddie from afar than risk ever losing him.

"Sam," he said. "Please look at me."

I opened my eyes. The deep chestnut of his eyes stared back at me. There was no one I trusted more than him, than the certainty, the determination, the little spark in those eyes, in the entire world. This was Freddie. My Freddie.

"What do I have to do to make you love me back?"

"Nothing," I whispered. "I already do."

He lit up and butterflies filled my stomach for having been the cause of his light. This time, it was me who kissed him. I wanted his taste on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself into him, as much as I possibly could. His hand splayed on my back, keeping me there. If it was up to me, I'd stay there forever.

Freddie stopped the kiss first. I felt his hand clench against my back. It was taking him effort to pull himself away.

"I have to stop myself now or else I won't," he said, huskily. "And whenever we go further than kissing we never decide anything."

"So what now?" I asked.

"That's up to you. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. God, as much as I'd love you to be my girlfriend, I'm not going to ask you if you feel like you can't."

I shook my head and he brushed a wave away from my face. "I wish I knew," I said. "I want to be able to say yes but it terrifies me that someone like you would love someone like me."

"Sam, what -"

A knock on the door interrupted us. Freddie stepped away from me, once more looking like that was a form of torture. He turned and started walking out of his room as the knocks grew more insistent.

"Freddie!" I called as he reached the hall. "Wipe off your lips. They're all red."

He drew his hand back along his lips and continued walking. I heard him open the door and talk to Carly, who asked if he was ready to go. He responded that I was just using the washroom and we'd be right out. The door closed. Freddie appeared in his doorway again, that same dogged determination on his face.

"Take a chance," he said. "Please."

I sighed. "This is where I'm supposed to jump, right?" He nodded. "What if I'm not ready to make that jump?"

He shrugged. "Then I'll wait."

"I can't keep making you wait," I said and stepped closer to him.

He looked me over from my toes, to my face, then locked eyes with me. We were only about a foot apart. He reached his hand out to me. I closed the gap and took his hand.

"Then don't."

I swallowed. Maybe I was absolutely terrified of losing him, but I knew I needed him. Maybe it was the right time. I smiled. He grinned back.

"So how do we play this tonight?" I asked. "Pretend nothing's changed or..."

"I kind of like the or..."

I gave him a quick peck. "Or is the word of chaos."

"You know how I feel about chaos."

"Well." I smirked. "You did pick me. You know I can bring that."

He tugged on my arm and led me to the front door. "Then let's go."