This is just a self-indulgent birthday fic for me. I recently got into DCU and I really like both Jason and Dick so I threw them together in this fic.

Also there is some nongraphic depiction of Dick's rape here so if that's something you don't want to read, you can either skip the beginning bit or read something else.

This is also cross posted on AO3 under the same title.

Final note is that this fic is based on Nightwing Vol 2 #93.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters nor any of the lines that are actually in the comic. All rights go to their respective owners.

What Jason was doing in Blüdhaven, he had no idea. He had originally been with Roy and Kory, breaking up a drug ring, when the communicator in his helmet had buzzed. How Oracle had managed to get the frequency that the Outlaws used, Jason had no idea.

"What do you want, Babs?" he had asked, none too kindly.

"I need you to check on Dick," she had said simply, ignoring his rude tone.

Jason had rolled his eyes under the hood. "Why can't the Big Bad Bat or Replacement do it?"

There had been an uncomfortable silence on Oracle's end which almost made Jason nervous.

Almost.

"Batman is… otherwise preoccupied. And Tim… isn't Robin anymore."

"Aww, did Daddy Bats let another Robin die?" Jason had sneered.

"Tortured. Joker tried to make Tim a smaller version of himself," she had said, her voice choked with the threat of tears.

Jason had almost felt a pang of sympathy. In a way, torture was worse than death. At least he hadn't had to suffer for so long, only to face the reality of what he had survived. But that would only apply if Jason were still dead.

"Yeah?" he had scoffed. "Sucks for him I guess. Maybe if Bats finally grew a pair and killed the motherfucker, he wouldn't have this problem."

"He's dead, Jason."

Jason had stopped to a crashing halt, narrowly avoiding a building that he had been planning on landing on. Kory and Roy had turned back and watched him in concern. "What?!"

"Tim killed him."

"Why did no one tell me?!" he had demanded, furious that no one had told him that the murderous scum was finally dead.

"I don't think you realize just how hard it is to contact you," Oracle had retorted. "Half of the sources I found of you, Roy or Koriand'r were either dead ends or fakes. So good job on that, I guess."

Jason had smirked to himself, feeling a childish sense of pride at stumping Oracle.

"Anyway, can you please check up on Nightwing? It shouldn't take you that long."

"What's in it for me?"

"Please, Jason? Something's wrong. I can feel it."

Fuck. Babs had been practically begging him. Jason did have many good memories with her, and didn't hate her as much as he did Bruce or Joker so he had ended up caving. Babs had sent him coordinates and Kory had offered to fly him to Bludhaven. Jason sent her back to Roy, concerned with how she would handle anything happening to Dick. It had taken a lot of persuasion but he finally managed to do it.

Landing on a building across from the coordinates that Oracle had sent him, Jason brought out a pair of binoculars and zoomed on to the rooftop.

Nightwing was there alright. And so was a masked woman that Jason hadn't seen before. Based on their positions, it looked like…

Jason resisted the urge to laugh. Of course Nightwing's communicator was off. Dick definitely would not have wanted Babs to know that he was having sex with someone. And on a rooftop of all places!

Jason was about to call Oracle and tell her that Nightwing was more than alright when something caught his eye.

Dick wasn't moving.

Now, Jason had never had sex with Dick Grayson. God forbid the day he did. But, he knew Dick Grayson and if there was one thing that Dick was never, it was still. An acrobat at heart, the first Robin was always moving some part of his body.

Frowning, he observed the scene in front of him again.

The masked female was the only one moving and she was clutching Dick's shoulders as support, her head tilted back in ecstasy. Dick, on the other hand, merely seemed to watch her move. His hands were lax at his sides and judging by his body language, Jason could definitely tell that he wasn't all that… engaged in what he was doing at the moment.

Disgust welled up in Jason's veins as he cocked his gun. Shooting his grapple for a nearby tower, he swung towards the pair. The woman pulled off of Dick and began to pull her pants back up. Jason scowled and aimed his gun. He would've liked to think that he was silent—and he probably had been— but apparently this other mask was just as vigilant as the Bats because she turned to face him. Jason shot at her but she quickly moved to the side, the bullet only grazing her side.

She apparently decided that she couldn't take him on a fight, injured and—as sick as it made Jason feel to admit— probably still coming down from the high of an orgasm, because she chose to jump off the side of the building. Whether or not she was ok, Jason didn't give a fuck. His priority was Dick.

He hadn't noticed while fighting, but his older brother had now curled in on himself, his eyes distant and staring at something that Jason couldn't see. He muttered "Bang," over and over again and showed no signs of hearing Jason when he tried to talk to him.

Fuck, Jason knew that the Bats didn't like guns, but not to this extent.

Quickly holstering his weapons, Jason knelt in front of his older brother—who, in that moment, naked and trembling, looked so, so small— and tried to catch his attention.

"Wing? Nightwing, are you with me?"

No response.

If Alfred had been with him at that moment, he would've washed Jason's mouth out with soap.

Jason was about to call Babs and let her know that he had found Nightwing when the communicator buzzed. Despite the situation, he smirked. Oracle had impeccable timing as always.

"I see you found him," Barbara's voice noted.

"Yeah."

"How is he?"

"Really fucking bad. Where's his apartment?"

"In pieces," she deadpanned.

"The fuck?" he responded eloquently.

"It was blown up a few days ago. He's been staying at one of his safehouses underground."

"Directions, if you could," Jason said, straining to keep his tone even and calm. His body was coursing with a dangerous adrenaline, urging him to find that masked woman and make her pay.

Because Jason had been beat down.

Jason had lost everything, gained everything and lost it all again.

But fuck, Jason hadn't been—

Letting out a deep breath, he watched his brother with a mixture of concern and sadness. He couldn't find it in himself to bring out the anger and hatred that he normally felt for Dick. Not when he looked so fragile. Not when he looked so vulnerable. Not when he had just been violated in the worst of ways.

Oracle sent him a map and it flashed instantly inside of his hood. Good. It wasn't too far. He moved to pick Dick up, only to have him violently flinch away and curl in on himself more.

"N-No…" he whimpered pathetically. Sighing, Jason took his helmet off and peeled the domino off as well, hoping that a familiar face would ease Dick's terror.

"Dickie? It's me, Jason. Little Wing. Can you say something for me?" he asked, uncharacteristically gentle. It was like talking to a kid.

"J-J-Jason…" Dick said, but it was still clear that he wasn't alright in the head. Nevertheless, he was responding to Jason and that, he could work with.

"Yeah. It's me. Listen Dickiebird, I need to get you home—"

"No home…" Dick muttered, still shivering.

"…And then we'll get you fixed up," Jason finished. "Can you move?"

Dick tried to sit up, but his shaking limbs only forced him back down. Jason sighed. He had thought as much. This only made things about five thousand times worse though.

"Ok, Dick. I'm gonna take you… to your safehouse," he said, mindful of his slip up earlier. "But I need to touch you."

"Don't… poisonous…"

"Hate to break it to you, Dickie, but I'm about as poisonous as you can get in our family. Now, I'm going to lift you up. Do you think you're going to freak out?"

Unconvincingly, Dick shook his head slowly.

Jason ran his hand through his hair in resignation. Stupid Bat training.

Replacing his mask and helmet, he scooped helped Dick back into his Nightwing getup, scooped him up and held him against his chest as he fired a grapple in the direction of Dick's safehouse. His older brother whimpered in his hold and squirmed, but not enough that it hindered Jason's movements.

"Relax, Dickie. We'll fix you up soon."

"Have you ever studied auditory cognition?" Dick asked suddenly. Jason glanced down at him. Dick, had he been in his right mind, would've already known that Jason had in fact studied that. Probably under the same teacher as Dick too.

Nonetheless, he answered the man. "Yes, I have, Dickiebird. Why?"

"If I'd said stop…she would've heard it at the same time as the gunshot…" Dick trailed off. Jason frowned as he landed on top of a manhole covering.

"What are you talking about, Golden Boy? Are you that upset that I shot her?"

"Bang… Don't do it, Tarantula… Stop…" Dick mumbled, lost in his thoughts again. This time though, Jason had a feeling that it wasn't about him shooting at the woman now revealed to be Tarantula.

"You're delusional, Dick. C'mon let's get inside."

"Geez, this place is a fucking mess. Too busy chasing baddies to clean up a little?" Jason asked in disapproval. The body in his arms made a small, choked sound to which Jason shook his head. Whatever had happened to Dick, it had been traumatizing enough to reduce him to… this.

"I'm going to put you down on the bed, ok?" Without waiting for confirmation, Jason did so and headed straight for the bathroom in search of a first aid kit.

When he returned, Dick was sitting up, staring at the ground blankly. Sighing, he felt around for the zipper to Nightwing's uniform. The vigilante on the bed flinched and stiffened, but let Jason continue.

Ok. Dick seemed to have calmed somewhat.

As Jason was dressing a wound on Dick's upper arm, he asked nonchalantly, "So… wanna tell me who that was?"

"… Who?" Dick intoned.

"The girl who raped you." That earned him a violent flinch.

"I-I'm not… She wasn't…"

"Spare me the bullshit. You obviously weren't a willing participant. How'd she even get the jump on you anyway?"

"Blockbuster's dead."

Well that sure threw Jason for a loop. Not that he really knew who Blockbuster was.

"Who's that?"

"I killed him."

Golden Boy was just full of surprises today.

"Glad someone in the family finally grew a pair. So tell me Dickie, what's the story behind this?" Jason asked, genuinely intrigued as to what could have finally made Bruce's perfect little son snap.

"H-He… blew up my apartment and he set Haly's on fire. He was after me but he would never go after me. Always the people around me."

Jason couldn't sympathize, but he knew how hard this must be for Dick. The stupid pretty boy was a people person by nature: always touching, always talking, always smiling. Now… now he was alone and falling apart at the seams and Jason could see the raw pain that Dick's perfect mask hid.

"It's my fault… it's all my fault…"

Jason frowned. He could already see where this was going. Dick Grayson, martyr in training was beginning to surface, just like he knew he would.

"Dick, listen to me," he ordered as he finished the dressing. He moved into Dick's line of sight and knelt down in front of him, his hands on either side of Dick's face. "You can't save everyone. People are going to get hurt because there are some really sick fucks in the world. Sometimes we make it in time, sometimes we don't."

"But I should be able to save them all!" Dick shouted, standing abruptly, causing Jason to stand and take a few steps back. "I should be able to! What's the point of wearing the mask, of going out night after night, bruised, bleeding and broken if I can't save people?!"

"No one's saying that you can't save people!" Jason shouted back, fed up with Dick's stubbornness. The idiot couldn't see that he was destroying himself and if Bats wasn't going to smack some sense into the damned fool then he fucking would. "Dick, you're a hero. But heroes aren't perfect."

All the fight seemed to drain out of Dick as he fell to his knees with a thud, sobbing.

"I couldn't do it… I failed Blockbuster… Catalina… Raya…" The list went on, names of the people that Dick had known cutting through the silence. But nothing would have prepared Jason for the last name on Dick's list of "people he failed".

"…Bruce."

And just like that, Jason was angry at the fucking idiot again.

Gripping his shoulders harshly, Jason gave Dick a shake.

"What the fuck are you talking about? How the hell did you disappoint Bruce?!"

"I killed, Jason. In cold blood."

"You didn't deal the final blow." It wasn't a question.

"I still let someone else do it."

"For fuck's sake, Dick! If you didn't do it, you didn't kill the man!"

"I still stood by and let her shoot him! I'm just as guilty as she is!"

"The fuck you are! Stop being such a goddamn martyr and think for one fucking second!" Jason roared, utterly done with Dick's self-pity. At Dick's silence, Jason forged on. "You aren't responsible for his death! You're a witness to a murder, not an accomplice. With your logic, every person who witnesses a murder is a murderer. Is that the fucking case, Dick?!"

"No…" he admitted reluctantly.

"Finally, we agree on something. So repeat after me, Dickiebird. 'I am not a murderer'."

"Jason… I—"

"No fucking buts. I know how messed up you are about this. Now say it."

"I'm not a murderer," Dick repeated tonelessly.

"Like you fucking believe it, Dick, not like I'm forcing you to," Jason hissed.

The corners of Dick's lips quirked up. "You are though."

"For your own good. Now fucking say it," he said without bite.

"But Bruce…" Dick began. Jason groaned in frustration. Of course Dick would care about what Daddy Bats thought. Of course.

"Fuck what Bruce thinks! Is his opinion the only thing that matters to you?!"

"No…"

"Exactly."

"But it's still important."

"What's going to happen if he finds out, Dick? Is he going to disown you? Throw you out like a dog?" Dick whimpered at the thought but Jason pressed on. "He's not going to do that! You're Bruce's fucking world!"

"But I broke the code…"

"Fuck the code!" Jason screamed. In his mind, he thanked whatever gods were up there that they were in an underground safehouse and not in Dick's apartment. If they were, the man would have definitely gotten some complaints about noise.

"If he throws you out, fine." The panicked look on Dick's face screamed No! Not fine! but Jason continued on. "If he throws you out… you have Replacement. And Babs. And…me. You're not fucking alone, Dick. I don't know who told you otherwise, but they're a fucking dumbass and are going to have to deal with me."

Dick shivered as Blockbuster's words echoed through his mind.

"I'll take out the people you care about—hell, even strangers you stand next to on the street—you won't be able to shake someone's hand without marking them for death! Do you like being alone, Dick?"

"Loved one by loved one, innocent by innocent… it will never stop."

He curled into a ball and hugged himself, trying to become as small as possible, not caring how weak it looked for Jason. He heard a sigh and then a soft thud of Jason's knee dropping to the floor next to him.

"He really messed you up, didn't he Dickiebird?"

Dick didn't respond. He didn't need to.

Jason sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. How was he supposed to help the fool when all he wanted to do was blame himself for something that wasn't his fault?

"Jaybird… do you blame me for your death?"

What. The. Fuck.

"Why the hell would I do that? You weren't even on the planet when I died!"

"If I hadn't been on that mission… maybe I could've saved you. Maybe if I wasn't—"

"If you finish that sentence I will not hesitate to shoot you, Dick," Jason snarled. "If Bruce couldn't find me, no offense, but I don't think you could've."

"But I could've helped him!"

"Dick… what did Blockbuster tell you?"

The first Robin flinched violently at the question. "Nothing."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Really? Are we back to square one? Just let me fucking help you, Dick."

There was a long silence before Dick let out a sigh and raised his head, haunted eyes meeting Jason's inquisitive ones. "He told me that he would kill everyone. People I know, people I didn't… I wouldn't be able to go anywhere without 'marking them for death.'"

Jason's fist clenched as he wished the bastard who fucked with his brother wasn't dead, just so he could kill him again and in a much more brutal fashion.

"Dick. Do I really need to tell you that that's not true? I'm still alive, aren't I? Bruce and Tim and Babs…"

"But all the people in Blüdhaven… they were all innocent. And now they're dead. All because of me."

"Dick, I already told you. They're dead because there are sick fucks in the world. Blockbuster happened to be one of them. There are still people that you love and that love you that are still alive. I'm one of them," he admitted, averting his gaze, already feeling the blood rush to his cheeks.

When he looked back at Dick, the older man's eyes held a spark of hope. Jason breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you mean that Jay?" Dick asked, his tone hopeful and desperate and so, so vulnerable.

"Of course. You're my brother, Dick," he said softly, still not believing that he was saying this out loud. Deep down, he knew it was true, but he never expected to actually confess it to Dick himself. Holding off the impending death by mortification, he continued, "Even if Bruce kicks you out, even if the Justice League shuns you, even if the fucking world is out to get you, I'll still have your back, you annoying Golden Boy."

Dick covered his eyes with his hand as his shoulder shook. Jason was worried that the man was sobbing again but when it was clear that that wasn't the case, he felt the unease drain out of his body. He gave a small smile of his own and cleared his throat.

"Now are you going to sit still and let me dress the rest of your wounds, or are you going to continue bleeding all over your bed and floor?"

The smile Dick gave him was weak and teary, but it was the first genuine one all night.

I feel like Jason is a bit OOC here? I dunno. Tell me what you think?