Hikaru no Kage

Hikaru just wished his younger self had had been able to recognize Sai's genius, wished that he had let Sai play to his heart's content, wished that he had helped Sai reach the Hand of God. How was he supposed to know that the Gods were actually listening? Time travel AU

A/N: I don't own anything.

Warnings: AU, time travel

Chapter 1

Hikaru was lying awake in bed. He was waiting. Waiting to wake up.

Just three days ago he had been still desperately wishing for a way to fix his mistakes, to get Sai back, to make his younger self see. After Sai's disappearance he had been lost. Aimlessly wandering just on the off chance of catching so much of a glimpse of his missing companion. For a time he had been entirely convinced that Sai must have been reborn in some form. Because why would the Gods let Sai exist through centuries and then have him disappear before he managed to finish what he had set out to do, before he reached the Hand of God.

When Hikaru had finally resigned himself to the conclusion that Sai was indeed gone, he had broken down entirely. He had refused to so much as go near a Go board, well except Sai's board.

He had obsessively started to recreate any and all games that he could remember Sai having played. But so many were lost, simply because they had been played well before Hikaru ever got to the point where he could truly see the game play out.

The more games Hikaru recreated, the more he became aware of Sai's genius. He had known on some level that Sai was insanely good, simply because he was on the same level as the Meijin, but it had somehow not entirely registered for him until then.

Sai had been Sai. The annoying childish ghost that plagued him and kept him awake at nights trying to badger him into just one more game.

Just one more game, please, please. Hikaru!

And his enthusiasm for anything Go related. Whether it be watching children play, or teaching old men at the salon, or playing random strangers, no matter how good or horrifyingly bad, on the net, or playing the Meijin. Sai had loved all of it.

And Hikaru had denied him out of sheer selfishness.

Stupid Net-Go. The fear of being discovered Hikaru had developed had further lead him towards keeping Sai hidden. And dammit, Ogata was a real pest. Hikaru had felt driven into a corner. And even though he hated what it had resulted in, Hikaru admitted that even now he couldn't come up with a better way to handle that entire situation.

He had been quite powerless. Between sai of Net-Go and Hikaru's career as a Go professional, he did not really have anywhere to go. He couldn't just let Sai play his games, because everyone worth his salt would have noticed his changed playing style. Letting Sai play more Net-Go might have been an option, but even there people had started talking about hacking his IP address and identifying him. Also Sai just hadn't been happy with playing on the computer anymore. And dammit Hikaru wanted Sai happy, wanted them both happy.

He still did not understand why Sai had vanished. If the ghost had noticed anything beforehand, he had not been up for sharing. Hikaru had to admit that he had been truly distracted at that point and probably even if Sai had tried to tell him something he might have missed it simply because he was focused on something else, entirely selfishly focused on himself.

But they were supposed to have forever. Forever of Sai and Hikaru and playing Go. Chasing the Hand of God. It hadn't even crossed his mind that Sai might leave at some point.

So in the days after realizing that Sai was truly gone, Hikaru had wished with everything he was that he had known better when he had started out playing Go. That he had known to avoid Net-Go, known to let Sai play, known to give Sai a way to play to his heart's content.

He had wished. And then, between one blink and the next, he had woken up in the past.

And just how ridiculous was that? Some kind of lame-ass story plot line.

When he had blinked awake in the past present, he had been lying in a hospital bed.

And Sai had been back with him. It had been the day he had originally met Sai.

Hikaru's reaction to seeing Sai again had been... well, explosive. And Sai had realized that something was off. Even without really knowing the younger him. Well, it had been pretty obvious, because right after waking up Hikaru had been convinced that Sai's disappearance had been nothing more than a bad dream. So he had rambled at Sai telling him about this weird dream he had.

Well, it had not been hard for Sai to figure out there was something more to this situation than even he the ghost stuck in a goban was aware of.

As Hikaru had no interest in keeping any secrets from Sai either, it had been easy to tell him about the future. Not that he really could keep any secrets from Sai anyways. For one Sai was in his head and regulating your thoughts was not as easy as one would think. Also Sai would immediately recognize his own Go style influencing Hikaru's Go. So lying was out. Hadn't even really been an option in the first place.

If there was anyone who would believe in time travel forwards or backwards because you wished for it hard enough, it would be Sai. Sai had even said it was poetic, with him pretty much traveling forward in time that someone who would want to be with him would travel backwards.

And boy, was Hikaru happy that his unintentional wish had been pretty specific, wanting a chance to re-do his younger self's decisions. He really had no interest in traveling to the past by a few hundred years. No siree.

So now, Hikaru was apparently in the past. He was still mostly convinced that he was dreaming somehow, no matter how real this seemed. So Hikaru was awake lying in bed the third morning after his arrival in the past. He was waiting, waiting to wake up.

But his traitorous mind kept returning to the what-ifs. What if this was real? What if he had another chance? What if he could keep Sai here? Keep him happy?

The true question was how.

Hikaru had suggested to Sai after explaining his time travel - it still made him almost snort with ridiculousness every time he thought this - that Sai could just play in Hikaru's stead. No one knew yet that Hikaru might have a second style to play with.

Sai had refused. Categorically.

Well, he first had Hikaru play a game with Sai - which Hikaru could not finish, because seeing Sai and seeing his Go were apparently two very different things and Hikaru had broken down after a few dozen hands at the goban. But once Sai had ascertained that Hikaru could indeed play - play well and play with a style that spoke of being Sai's student, which Sai loved plain and simple - he had refused to just let Hikaru's Go disappear.

Hikaru had been surprised to be honest, because Sai had been very much obsessed the last time they met. After having been stuck in a goban for centuries without being able to play, it was more than natural to be obsessed.

But now, Sai was adamant that he would not play anyone unless Hikaru played as well.

Which was a nice sentiment and all, but how in the world was Hikaru supposed to do that.

He wanted them both to be playing Go. Both of them happy. And Sai had been so very happy right after the game with the Meijin. And the Meijin had seemed truly happy as well.

Well, there's a thought.

The Meijin had seemed just as fascinated with their game as Sai had been. And he was definitely good enough to recognize if someone was faking a second playing style. If Hikaru could get the Meijin to believe in Sai... That would be perfect. And well, if the Meijin thought him insane, Hikaru was still unknown in the Go world. He could vanish and the Meijin would probably just think he had been trying to play a prank. I mean who still believed in ghosts these days.

Well, there definitely wouldn't be any mentions of time travel that was for sure.

And even if the Meijin thought him a headcase, Hikaru didn't think he would actually have him sent to a hospital, because he would still see Sai's Go. And Hikaru was well aware how much a player of Sai's strength was worth to someone like the Meijin who to this day had kept most of his love of the game.

But if he did believe Hikaru about Sai... Sai would have a true opponent. Someone on his level. And also, the Meijin might be willing to back up their story. Claim to know Sai maybe? An old friend? And Hikaru his student? That would be almost too perfect.

But how to get the Meijin's attention?

They had already missed the meeting with Touya Akira of his original timeline - snort - because they had been busy discussing their current situation and Hikaru had no interest in repeating the exact mistakes that had led to him loosing Sai the first time around.

Hm, but as far as Hikaru recalled Touya had been at his father's salon pretty regularly anyways. So they should still run into him.

Well, Hikaru would have to think of something for their next meeting. Either Sai would be playing him and that would be pain all over again, or Hikaru would and he was much stronger than he had been last time around.

Hikaru now was incredibly strong for a twelve year old kid but probably more on Touya's level. It would be interesting to play him now at his strength.

Huh.

Last time the Meijin had definitely been interested after hearing of a kid stomping his son into the ground. Would it be enough if Hikaru himself played his son now?

Well, if it worked it would be an incredibly easy solution to the entire situation.

So, Hikaru would take Sai to the Meijin's Go salon and hopefully Touya Akira would be there.

Hikaru heard a rustle off to the side and turned his head.

Sai was looking at him, probably having followed most of that thought process. "Is Meijin-san really good, Hikaru?" Sai asked hopefully.

"His name is Touya Koyo. Meijin is his title. The title of the best Go player in all of Japan."

"Oh, I want to play him, Hikaru. Can we, please? Please?" Sai asked excitedly.

Hikaru felt a smile form on his face. Gods, how he had missed Sai.

" I will do my best to make that happen." Hikaru assured. "I could show you the game you played against him?"

"He is really good?" Sai looked pensive.

"Yes, really good." Hikaru confirmed. "I have never seen you as happy as you were after your game with him."

"Then I'd rather not know about his playing style, if he doesn't know about mine. Oh, I really want to play some Go. Can we play, Hikaru? Can we?" Sai gushed eagerly.

Hikaru remembered. "I should really show you some contemporary Go. I already mentioned that Go has evolved since you last played and some rules have been changed."

"Changed?" Now Sai sounded rather dubious.

Well, nothing for it. Hikaru got out of bed and moved towards the goban. His grandfather had relented on Hikaru having the goban after Hikaru had shown him that he truly could play and wasn't lying. His grandfather was now convinced that Hikaru had started to learn Go in order to have something to connect with his grandfather. Hikaru had done nothing to dispel that notion. Especially as it got his grandfather to give Hikaru Shuusaku's goban.

He moved the goban to the middle of the room and set up the go-ke. Sai had already excitedly settled on the other side of the goban before Hikaru had even finished setting up.

Hikaru started with the komi rule and continued on about how Go itself had changed up until now. Sai not so sneakily pushed Hikaru into starting a game to 'see more easily how these changes would affect the flow of the game'.

And Hikaru basked in Sai's presence while they played.

He was beaten soundly and unquestionably. No surprise there.

The one game somehow evolved into three before Hikaru's mother came to wake him up. Her face at actually seeing her son play Go had been quite entertaining. She had been convinced - very rightfully so - that there was no way her son had started to play Go in order to connect with his grandfather. She seemed actually speechless.

After breakfast and getting ready, Hikaru had decided to first play some Net-Go in order to show Sai some more modern age players.

They had entered the first internet cafe Hikaru had spotted after leaving the house.

He had not used sai as a username this time but rather shuu as a recognition of Shuusaku. Sai had liked the idea. This time Hikaru would find a different way to make Sai's existence known to the world. A way beyond Net-Go.

The games they played were also entirely different, as they somehow ended up playing an odd mixture of Hikaru's hands with Sai's input. It had not been intentional on their part, but rather as Hikaru explained the newer style of Go, Sai kept commenting and correcting and somehow it became a thing. So much of Hikaru's own playing style was based on Sai's that there was rarely any true conflict and their styles mostly merged seamlessly, but more than once they ended up playing somewhere entirely different from where either of them would have played on their own.

Sai was near bouncing behind his chair in front of the monitor whenever they finished a game. Excitably asking for another game, another game, another game.

And Hikaru was entirely incapable of denying him.

They only stopped when Hikaru ran out of money and they had to leave the internet cafe. Having no money, they also couldn't go to any salons to continue playing there. So Sai actually suggested them visiting Hikaru's grandparents to thank them again for the goban. Hikaru hadn't even thought of that, but had no objections. For one, it was kind of sad that he hadn't had much to do with his grandparents in the last timeline and also it would be a way to play someone else without paying at all.

Hikaru's grandparents had been surprised but truly happy to see him and his grandfather had immediately dragged him towards his goban to play. Sai had happily trailed along, looking forward to another game of Go.

That was how they spent the rest of their day. Playing Go. Everything was as it should be.

And another morning, lying awake, afraid to turn his head and see that it had been a dream. That Sai was gone and Hikaru was alone again.

"Hikaru?" Sai asked tentatively from beside his bed.

He let out a slightly trembling breath before turning to the side. "Good morning, Sai."

There was something like pain in Sai's eyes as he watched Hikaru. But Hikaru couldn't help his fear. It would probably take him a while to get used to having Sai back in his life.

"How about we go to the Meijin's Go salon today, Sai?"

Sai immediately perked up, though the tentative look in his eyes didn't entirely vanish. Hikaru hadn't expected it to, Sai was far too kind to ignore another's pain.

"Oh, yes please, Hikaru. Yesterday was wonderful. So much Go. And so many different kinds of Go as well." Sai was babbling happily in his usual manner. And Hikaru felt content. This was what he had wished for.

Hikaru got ready, actually dressing as neatly as his hoodies, jeans and t-shirts would allow, before they went down for breakfast. His mother was surprised to see him up and about this early on a Sunday, but seemed to take it as a good sign of his maturity. Hikaru wasn't entirely sure what to make of that.

"How are you feeling today, Hikaru?" His mother asked worriedly. She had been worried about him since he fainted after meeting Sai, even though the doctors had assured her it was just because of the weather fluctuations taking a toll on his pubescent - and wasn't that just wonderful, puberty, again - body.

"I'm fine, thanks Mom. Just so you know, I think I'll be going to a Go salon in the city today."

"... ok?" His mother clearly didn't know what to do with that information, but didn't object.

"I'll be back for dinner." And with that Hikaru was out the door before she could enforce some kind of ridiculous curfew.

Yesterday, his grandfather had given him some pocket money, all the while brimming with pride after Hikaru had wiped him off the goban, without Hikaru so much as hinting at it. So now he had some money to go visit a Go salon.

They took the train to the city center all the while Sai was rambling about all the fascinating things he was seeing all around him. The cars, the plains, the umbrellas - and Hikaru was grinning at how similar that conversation had gone to the last time - and the television screens.

They arrived at the Go salon without any problems and Hikaru took a bracing breath before entering.