Drunk and Disordered Lee

Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

AN: This is a response to the following challenge: Have one character get falling down drunk and be sure to reveal the reason why. What happens next? Word Limit: None." Mine is an AU ending for Over the Limit.

The evening after taking down O'Keefe, Amanda stood in her kitchen doing her normal after-dinner routine of cleaning up the kitchen with her mother while the boys were upstairs doing their homework, when the doorbell rang. "Hmm...I wonder who that could be," she mused as she washed the last of the dinner dishes.

"You've got your hands full, so I'll get it and find out," Dotty replied as she left the room to answer the door. Mere seconds later, Amanda heard her mother's indignant voice snapping, "I beg your pardon. Just who do you think you are?"

Amanda hurriedly dried her hands and darted in that direction to see what the commotion was all about when a disheveled Lee met her at the landing. "Just what do you think you're doing?" she questioned.

"What am I doing?" he drawled. "What am...I...doing? What I wanna know is what are YOU doing?" He drew closer to her and gripped both of her arms backing her into the kitchen.

"Oh," Amanda groaned in disgust when she smelled the bourbon on his breath. "Lee, you're drunk! Let me call you a cab." She wriggled out of his grasp and reached for the phone, but he stopped her with a hand on hers.

"I don't need a cab!"

Amanda, with a look of alarm, questioned, "Don't tell me you drove here in your condition? Lee, you know that's not very smart."

"D-don't you scold me like you do Phillip and Jamie. I'm NOT one of your children!"

"Then maybe you should stop acting like a child!"

As if on cue, the boys came thundering down the stairs at having heard the commotion, "What's going on?" Phillip asked just as Lee was shouting, "For the record, I didn't drive here. I took a cab!"

"Well, let me call you another one." Again she reached for the phone and again he stopped her.

"I don't NEED a cab! What I need is you!" He grasped her hands to make his point, teetering a bit as he did so.

"He's even drunker than Grandma was on New Year's," Jamie commented to his brother.

"Very funny," Dotty put in as she placed a hand on each of the boys' shoulders and steered them back toward the stairs. "Go on, back upstairs. I'll come check on you in a minute."

"Is the drunk man Mom's new boyfriend?"

"That's a good question," Lee told Amanda with a pointed look, still clasping her hands and edging closer to her.

"Lee..." she said softly.

"Go on!" Dotty prodded the boys.

"Man, why can't we stay and watch the show?" Phillip whined.

"Yeah, we never get to have any fun," Jamie chimed in.

"'Cause you can't keep your mouth shut, Wormbrain! You had to ask if he's Mom's new boyfriend."

"Well, you wanna know too, don't you? You're just too dumb to ask."

"Phillip, don't call your brother, Wormbrain and Jamie, don't call YOUR brother dumb!" Lee piped up.

Both boys turned to stare at him open-mouthed then looked at each other in confusion.

"Shoo!" Dotty commanded and the boys obeyed, grumbling all the way. Once they were safely upstairs, she turned back to the other pair. "Lee?" she questioned as she gaped at the drunk and somewhat disorderly man in their kitchen. "This is the man you work with? Mr. Simpson?" She couldn't help wondering just how he knew which boy was which when as far as she knew, he'd never met them before tonight.

"Simpson?" Lee snorted as released Amanda and turned on Dotty. "It's Stetson, okay! Stet-son!" He then turned back to Amanda. "That's the whole damn problem! I am not allowed to be a real part of your life! And what was with that crack you made at the office yesterday, huh?"

"Crack? What crack?" Amanda gazed at him in confusion.

"You know damn well what crack, Amanda. Don't play dumb! You're smarter than that!"

"Mother, why don't you make some coffee? I think Mr. Stetson could use it."

"I'll just make some coffee," Dotty confirmed with a nod as she sensed this might go on for a while.

As she did so, she kept sneaking glances back at Lee, shaking her head at his state of disarray, his shirttails hanging out of his pants, tie slung loosely around his neck, suit jacket rumpled, the beginnings of a five o'clock shadow on his otherwise handsome face.. She supposed if he were sober and cleaned up a bit, he'd be a rather attractive man. She could definitively see why her daughter chose to spend so many hours "at the office."

She abruptly turned back to her task as Lee continued his tirade, "That crack about the sleep I've been missing and the..." He made air quotes with his fingers, "...'New girlfriend.' Let's get one thing straight once and for all; I do NOT have a new girlfriend!"

"No?" Amanda questioned hotly starting to get angry herself. What right did he have to barge into her house drunk as a skunk and start yammering on like this when she'd seen his new girlfriend with her own eyes?

"No!"

"Well, you'd better tell Leslie that because SHE certainly thinks she is! You should have heard her going on and on after you left the room about how there's so much chemistry between you and her!"

"Chemistry? Did she really say that?" He stared at her open-mouthed.

"Yes, she really said that! And if she wasn't your girlfriend, just what were you doing buying her a dress for that stupid party...a very expensive dress I might add!"

"It was a consolation gift!"

"Wh-what?" Amanda sputtered with laughter.

"I don't mean it like that. I mean, I knew after my f-first date with her that it wasn't going to work and then she asked me to be her date for that stupid embassy party. I din't...didn't really want to go, but I said y-yes because I figured I could...I don't know...use the time to meet some contacts while I was there, since she was going to be working most of the time anyway, but then...THEN she ssstarted... c-calling me and wanting to make other plans and I-"

Amanda nodded in understanding. "You choked."

"Yes! NO!" He ran both hands through his hair, the motion nearly knocking him off-balance.

"Whoa!" Amanda gripped him by his shoulders. "Come on, Lee, let's get you settled down before you fall down." She guided him to the sofa and eased him onto it. She attempted to move away, but he grabbed her hands and pulled her down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

"That's one of the things I love about you. You're always looking out for me." He leaned his head against her shoulder.

"And I always will," she responded. She couldn't help the inward chuckle though. Even drunk, he couldn't make up his mind, one minute, he was yelling at her for looking out for him when she wanted to call him a cab, the next, he was appreciating her for taking care of him. While it did amuse her, she shifted uncomfortably at him with his arms around her while her mother was in the next room. She took a quick peek over the back of the couch to see her mother safely preparing a serving tray and looking the other direction. She grabbed both of his hands, placed them in his lap, and then perched herself on the coffee table facing him. "So, maybe you can explain to me why you were seeing a woman who's normal like me, looks a little like me and you were even trying to dress her like me when you asked me about my dress, but yet you act like I'm an annoyance to you half the time."

"It-it wasn't like that, Amanda."

"Then what was it like?" She folded her arms across her chest and gave him an expectant look.

"I didn't want to see her again so I sent the dress to her hotel...WITH a note 'splainin'...everything...that I didn't think it was going anywhere, but I still wanted her to have a good time at the party. So, the last thing I expected was for her to show up at my place ready to cook me dinner."

"A note? A note, Lee? Come on! You don't break up with a woman that way!"

"But that's the thing, Amanda! I didn't see it as breaking up because I never saw her as my girlfriend in the first place."

He heaved a deep sigh just as Dotty walked into the room with a tray laden with a coffee service, and a breezy, "Here, we are. Mr...Uh...Stetson?" She looked at Amanda for confirmation, who nodded. "This should make you feel better. Do you take sugar in your coffee?"

"Cream, Mother, but I think in his condition, black is better. Better not to add dairy to the mix."

"Right," Dotty agreed as she poured and handed Lee a cup. "I also brought some of Amanda's homemade poppy-seed cake. I thought it might help to soak up some of the liquor in your system and Amanda does make the best poppy-seed cake. I always say it's her-"

"Thank you, Mother," Amanda stated pointedly.

Taking the hint, Dotty stammered, "I'll...uh...I'll just go see how the boys are getting on with their homework and leave you two alone." She hurried up the stairs.

"Look, Amanda," Lee explained. "I took Leslie out exactly one time and she blew the whole damn thing out of proportion. She became like that crazy girl from Play Misty For Me." He took a sip of his coffee and let out another sigh.

"The one who was stalking the DJ?" She let out a shudder. "Didn't she even try to kill his girlfriend?"

Lee nodded. "That's the one. Then when she showed up at my place, it really gave me the creeps, especially when she invited you to stay for dinner. That's why I wanted to get you out of there so fast. I didn't want her to get to know you and I know how open you are. I didn't want to give her any ammunition to try to hurt you."

She gave him a skeptical glare as she finally lowered her arms and poured a cup of coffee for herself. "Oh, now, come on, Lee! Don't you think you're exaggerating just a tad?"

"No, no, I don't! Not when I checked with the concierge at her hotel and I know for a fact that he gave her the letter I wrote even after she denied ever getting it."

"Well, if that were true, why were you going on about how perfect she was for you?" Her disbelievingly look had not quite faded as she put her cup down on the table beside her.

He grinned at her sheepishly. "You were so crazy jealous, I just couldn't resist teasing you a little, but then when you really started to fight with me, that's when I wanted to put an end to it with Leslie that much faster. I was even so desperate to get rid of her without a scene that I thought about putting knock-out drops in her drink, but it never got that far because then O'Keefe called."

"You were gonna put knock-out drops in her drink?"

"Of course I wouldn't have - I'm not a creep. I'm just saying the thought crossed my mind." When she gave him a scolding look, he argued, "Come on, Amanda, she wouldn't stop calling me, she broke into my place, was pumping you for information about me, that's all the classic signs of being a stalker. Desperate times sometimes call for desperate measures and if she would have even looked like she might do something to you, I might do worse."

"Really?"

"That's the thing you don't understand, Amanda; you were never off my mind the whole time. I even called her by your name after you left." He took another sip of his coffee and summoned up all his courage, the courage that the bourbon had given him, set down his cup, lightly caressed her hand, reached to hold both of her hands in his and added, "The truth is, you're never off my mind. That's the reason I haven't been sleeping."

"And the reason for tonight's binge?" she surmised, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

"No." He shook his head. "No, that's all me because I'm an idiot and should have told you how I felt about you a long time ago and I...I shouldn't have yelled at you about your shooting when you were the one who bagged the bad guy."

"Yes, you should have," she concurred. She grinned at him, "And, no, you shouldn't have." She paused, then added, "And come to think of it, I was the one who bagged the bad guy. I mean, he did have you and Francine, the highly paid professionals, pinned down pretty good." He chuckled. Leave it to her to respond like that. At his laughter, knowing there was a bit of a truce between them now, she continued in a more serious tone, "The truth is, Lee, I've been just as guilty of trying to hide my feelings for you. I was just so...so..."

"Afraid?" he suggested.

"Well, I was gonna say chicken..."

"Same thing," he replied.

"Yeah, it is." She looked down at their joined hands for a moment and then back up to meet his eyes. "So, where do we go from here?"

"Wherever you want to," He answered sincerely as he clasped her hands tighter.